This content was created by Rebeccah Silence. This content was uploaded by Rebeccah Silence. This is a YouTube video titled "CONFESSION TUESDAY 8-5-14 'NOT CARING WHAT PEOPLE THINK'" recorded in August 2014. It features a conversational interview between Gary Spears and local life coach Rebeccah Silence. They discuss topics including an upcoming women's retreat, the importance of making decisions based on internal validation rather than external approval, and personal anecdotes related to yoga events and life coaching. The tone is informal and motivational, focusing on self-empowerment and support.
It is a Confession Tuesday. Local life coach Rebecca Silence in studio is the Radiance getaway weekend. Is that completely sold out at this point?
Yes. The inspired Results women's weekend is full. There's a waiting list. I'm so excited about it. We've got an incredible group of women from all over the country, actually. Really, not just locally. Yeah, it's gonna be wonderful.
That's fantastic.
That's fantastic. Keep you all posted. More details as we get closer. But the event's happening in November. We've got 16 women that will be together for an entire weekend full of great curriculum. We're going to have yoga. We're going to have a personal chef. There's a hot tub there. And women will just really get in touch with whatever's in the way of what they're wanting.
I was talking about you over the weekend, and I was showing clips. I went on your YouTube channel and I was showing clips of Confession Tuesday live. And that needs to happen again.
It absolutely does. I was just thinking about that. As fall gets closer. So, so much fun.
It absolutely was. And it's a shame that we haven't done more of them. That absolutely needs to happen again.
Let's do it again. I am game.
It was so much fun.
It was a blast.
It really was. If you have a business, if you have an organization, if you are holding events and would like Rebecca to come and speak no matter what the topic, she absolutely can hit up inspired results coach.com for all the details. And of course, you can follow her on Facebook and Twitter as well. All right, I want to talk to you about decisions.
Okay.
And maybe this is the. Not necessarily the best way to put it. A lot of people make a lot of decisions based on what other people will think of them. And, you know, there are people out there that say, you know, I don't even care what people think of me. At some point, everyone has this feeling of acceptance and that maybe that's just me. What is a way to get in control and make decisions for you and try to not factor in what others may think of you?
Yeah, this is.
It's kind of a generic. It's kind of a generic question. But. But I wanted to make sure it's broad.
Yeah. What I hear him talking about is there's a big difference between seeking external validation. That's where you need something outside of you to complete you. It's this idea of I'll be complete when. I'll be complete when my body looks a certain way. I have a Certain amount of money my spouse supports me with X, Y, Z, I'll be complete. When is a trap versus internal validation where I have the idea or the belief that I'm complete already? I'm seeking this amount of money this way, this type of relationship to enhance my life. There's a difference between. I'm wanting this to enhance my life because I'm already complete and I need this thing to complete me. Anytime I need this thing to complete me. It's a trap.
Yeah, that's trouble.
It's a self inflicted trap and it's never going to be enough. You know, I will use the example of. Actually this weekend I was sponsor of the Yoga Life Festival.
What?
The Yoga Life Festival. Yoga Life Festival this weekend in Floyd. A good friend of mine, Sarah Kayser, who owns Compass, put the whole thing together. There were multiple studios there. This girl, she was doing it regardless of what anybody thought. She was gonna put it together. It was something different. You know, the town of Floyd had never had a yoga festival before. So there were lots of obstacles in the way. But she made this decision. She wanted it for herself and for her community. She didn't need people's support, she didn't need people's approval. She was doing it regardless of what other people thought. And it was a huge success. Huge success. I was so proud of her. But if she had had the energy, like I need this many people to want it and then I'll see if I could put it together, it would have been a really long waiting game.
Sure.
Or if she needed it to look a certain way for her to feel like it was a success, she could have had a lot of disappointment. That was unnecessary because she did a really great job. There were three different tents going all weekend long with different types of yoga classes, meditation, hatha yoga, vinyasa, yoga. There were even belly dancing classes in one tent. I spoke. It was a great success.
Were there yoga pants?
There were lots of yoga pants. I wore maternity yoga pants.
You didn't tell me.
I knew you were gonna be upset.
Come on.
I talked about it on Facebook. It's okay. But if we're making a.
Listen, listen, I understand. We'll get back to this in a second. Listen, you know that I am a yoga pants lover. And the fact that you were going to a yoga pants festival in my hometown, you didn't bust not even a text message being like, hey, single Gary, Yoga pants festival in Floyd this week. I was in Floyd this weekend. I could have swung. I could have swung by to give you Some support, Rebecca.
Well, thank you, Big Papa. Gary Spears. I apologize.
Go ahead.
I apologize. I'll do better next time. You'll be all right. You know, any. Any type of decision, it's gotta be for you.
Oh, absolutely.
For you to be fulfilled. And there are times where we make a decision and someone is impacted. And it wasn't intentional, like my just failing, totally dropping the ball to get in touch with you about yoga pants weekend. I just dropped the ball. It wasn't my intention.
I know.
And so I'll own it. I'll apologize and let you know next time. I'll do my best to remember, you know, your decisions. It's got to be for you. And then if other people get upset along the way or impacted, you can always address. If this was not my intention for you to be upset, let me ask you this.
How can you break the trend? If it's. If that's something. If that's something that you consistently make decisions based on what you think other people will think of you, how do you break that trend? How do you get out of that funk?
Get off the wall. I want you to imagine squatting against a wall. You're squatting against a wall.
Is this a yoga thing?
No.
Okay.
This isn't a yoga thing. Exercise, though. It's an analogy. If you're constantly making decisions for other people to approve of you, number one, you have a 50, 50 shot at them being on board. 50% of the time, people are going to make you right. 50% of the time, people are going to make you wrong. So if you're seeking 100% approval, 100% of the time, you're screwed. It's never going to happen. So I'm saying you might as well be sitting against a wall squatting when you're wanting other people to support you, for you to go ahead with a decision, or when you're needing that approval.
Okay.
Neediness is not attractive.
No.
And here's the thing. You're squatting against the wall. At any given moment. You could get up. So get up. Get up. Go where you're going to go. And if you go there with confidence, people will believe you that you're going there with or without them. And they'll either get on board or they won't. And if people aren't gonna support you, they never were going to support you. If you're up to something bad.
Say that again. Say that again.
People are not going to support you. They were never going to support you. So be willing to weed out the garden Be willing to. To only surround yourself with people who will support you even if they don't agree. You know, I'm gonna go to Oregon next week to help out with a retreat. My best friend lives in Portland. This girl. We've been best friends for a long time. She did not like the idea of me moving to Vegas with the certain man I was moving to Vegas with. But she said, you know what? You're Rebecca, silence. You'll land on your feet no matter what happens. I love you no matter what. I don't like it, but I have your back. And she did. That's true love and support. And there are people that will support you. If you've got anybody trying to convince you not to follow your dreams or questioning your judgment, trying to tell you what to do, ask yourself, is this really the type of friendship that I want to be in where we're just rescuing each other instead of supporting each other? And then ask yourself too, how supportive am I of the people in my life? People know what's best for them, and they're going to go wherever direction they're gonna go whether you like it or not. So be supportive and pay attention to who is supporting and who is not supporting you. And if you're feeling unsupported, say something. Say, I really need your support with this. I don't need your opinion. Thank you for caring. What else can you do?
It's awesome.
Go exactly where you're gonna go. Why not?
I think you hit a nerve with a lot of people today. I think that's fantastic. Local life coach Rebecca Silence. Inspired results coach. Tell your story. Go to cnykits.com and tell your story. Travel safe.
Thank you.
And we shall see you when you get back.
Yeah. And whatever you want, just go after it. People will support you. Or they go away. And then let them.
Absolutely. More big Papa and Vanna and yoga. Now I'm in a yoga pants mode.
I'm sorry I didn't invite you to the yoga pants festival.
I didn't get and things. I know Sarah and she didn't. Man. Facebook Yoga pants. All right, we'll be right back. Yoga pants.
