A short YouTube conversation (Confession Tuesday) between local life coach Rebecca Silence and a co-speaker about cyberbullying: its emotional impact, how people behave differently online, and coping/empowerment strategies. The hosts encourage targets to avoid giving away their power, reframe others' negative comments as opinions not facts, work on underlying insecurities, and use brief neutral responses (e.g., "Thanks for sharing"). The video also promotes Rebecca Silence's coaching services and websites and references an archive of past Confession Tuesday submissions.
Questions this video answers
9-2-14 (September 2, 2014)
InspiredResultsCoach.com
CNYKiss.com
It is a Confession Tuesday Local life coach Rebecca Silence inspired results coach dot com. How this works is you go to cnykiss dot com you click on the little Confession Tuesday icon on the left and you tell your story. Now there is an archive. We've been doing this for like almost three years now.
Yeah.
And the archive is very extensive and you can go check it out. They're all kind of labeled as far as what they're talking about and the subject matter. And if you want to have your situation handled by Rebecca, we handle it confidentially. We have, we. There's no way we'd still be doing this if, if we were calling people out. All you have to do is tell your story and we'll do it right here on, on the air. What I want to bring up right now and I want to get your feedback on.
Okay.
Cyber bullying.
Uh huh.
Okay. People being Internet tough guys and people feeling threatened and saying things on the Internet. I've, I've been, you know, the, you know, I've been the target of cyberbullying ban has been the target of cyberbullying, as have you. Whether you're an adult or a child, especially as we're going into school. What are some good steps to help with cyberbullying? What's, you know, is there, are there things that people can do if they're faced with something like this?
Of course. And number one, I think when we're talking about cyber anything, it's really important to understand that this follows you wherever you go. And a lot of people get braver when they're behind the computer screen. As opposed to a face to face conversation.
Oh, absolutely. I never understood that.
Just think about. Well, it was because they're not faced directly with the confrontation.
A lot of times people don't think there's gonna be, you know, no one will know that it'. That's me saying this and you know, all of a sudden, unless your name.
Is like right there in the therapy world.
But there's ways to post things on the Internet that are quote, unquote, you know, anonymous.
We would call this in the therapy world, passive aggressive behavior. It's very much non confrontational and so confrontational at the same time. The person isn't brave enough to face the fear or the issue directly. And so when we're talking about cyberbullying, understand whatever your needs are, are real and important. And then whatever the judgments you have against other people are, it's you looking in the mirror. So whatever you judge, you are. And when I'm talking about judgment. I'm talking about your opinions. So that could be positive or negative. I could have positive judgments, I could have negative judgments. But whatever my judgments are on another human being, it's just me looking in a mirror, and it's what I'm doing as well or what I don't want to face that I'm doing. So good to know. And then if you're the target, consider that you can only be a target if you're giving your power away. Someone can call you purple with green stripes. It doesn't make it true. Someone can tell you that you're fat, you're ugly, you're. You know, anything. It doesn't make it true. So it's a great temp check to think about. Okay, Someone is in my face saying this, that, or the next thing about me. Am I buying what they selling, or am I leaving it on the shelf? Like, am I gonna make this true and treat it like it's gospel? Or am I gonna just get that this is another person's opinion? It's not a fact. Other people's opinions, not a fact. Other people's opinions absolutely have nothing to do with you. Period. End of story. It's their stuff, I promise. You don't have to believe me. You can believe what they're saying, but that still doesn't make it true. So 50% of the time, people are going to agree with you. Then 50% of the time, people aren't going to agree with you. So if you need 100%, you know, people pleaser, if you want hundred percent of the time for people to be on your side and agreeing with you, you're gonna be in trouble because they're agreeing with you or not. Still has nothing to do with you. We all have our own stuff going on inside of us. And then when someone triggers another person, it's just because that person reminded them of a part of them that they can't deal with yet or they're not willing to deal with yet. Not good or bad, but good to know. So if you're the target, consider why am I in victim thinking about this? Why am I believing what this person is saying? Is this person tapping into an insecurity that I already have that I could get stronger at. And if you can just think about the fact that whatever's happening to you, even when it feels dark and scary, what if it's for your highest good? What if it's for you to see? Wow, this insecurity has been running my life so you could take the power back anytime you want and get more solid about your insecurities so that people can't. I think about it like this. We all have these emotional wounds that are unhealed.
No.
That go back really, really far.
No one has issues. No one has emotional wounds.
When I have an emotional wound, what if I'm like a magnet for someone's stuff, sticking their finger in it and digging around. And as long as I have that, does this hurt? Right. And then as long as that's there, it wouldn't matter. Right. If you're sticking your finger in my emotional wound or you or anyone else, if it's there, it's there, just waiting for someone to stick their finger in it.
All right. For the record, I have never stuck my finger in anything of Rebecca's, especially emotional wounds. I just wanna throw that out. I'm just people half listen. I'm just making sure.
But for anyone, until you've dealt with it, you're a victim to be a target for that issue.
Oh, absolutely.
So I'm saying you have the potential of getting through any of these emotional wounds. This is why I'm traveling the country doing all of this work. Because even me, I have plenty of breakdowns. I have plenty of moments where I hit drama and I just learn how to get through it faster. And I don't make it wrong when I hit something because it's there. Running my life. Your triggers are running your life. So be someone who can be a target or. Or be someone who's in control of their life regardless of what other people are doing, other people's opinions of you, their judgments. Not a fact. Doesn't mean it's true. Don't give away your power.
Local life coach Rebecca Silence the website. Inspired results coach.com like them on Facebook. And if you have an organization, if you have a group, if you have some sort of, you know, your workplace wants to have Rebecca come in and talk about any slew of topics. Absolutely possible. Inspired results coach.com here's just a one.
Liner that I really like to use in situations where I'm confronted. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for sharing. You don't have to believe what they're saying. Thank you for sharing. Move on with your life.
