Confession Tuesday "Dealing With Panick Attacks" 8-6-13

It is confession Tuesday. Local life coach Rebecca silence is in studio. Inspired results. Coach.com for people who have not partaken in Radiance, which is coming up. Give us an overview of that because this is really awesome.

It really is. Radiance is a seminar for women and it is specifically designed to touch on money, body relationships and life purposes. What we're doing is we're looking at how to be fully expressed. Radiant goddesses. Right? So all the women out there, you know who you are, that are crying yourselves to sleep at night or you are lonely in your relationship or you are feeling stuck professionally or you are not feeling financially stable, this is for you because there is so much more available to you than you could ever know. And when I first started personal growth work, I was working three jobs. I was bulimic, I was the definition of a damsel in distress. And the best I could do most days was breathe just to get through the day. And I decided there had to be a better way. So I started participating in these seminars. And that is what changed my life was being surrounded by people who thought I was crazy for not going for more versus crazy for going for it, you know, and it is a powerful experience. It's a full day at the Stanley. It's about five years of coaching in a day. So it's super intense, worth every second and every penny. And we're doing an early bird special. So it's 250 for the month of August, 300 starting September 1st.

So for details, hit up inspired results coach.com or like them on Facebook and you can go from there. But anybody who has gone through and people have come to me because they know you and I are so close, people will take me aside and be like, I went to that radiance.

Oh my, it's life changing.

Yeah, that's that. And that's exactly, that's exactly what they said.

This serious, intense work, fun. It isn't all just like gut wrenching crying for a whole day or anything. And you don't have to like share your story with anyone. It's individual work in a group setting. There's nothing more.

Powerful Details, inspired results, coach.com it is confession Tuesday. Your email is bigpapacnykiss.com Email right here. Is it bad that I don't end up. Let's see here. Is it bad that I don't end up finding my mate? I had a horrible panic attack last night. When I have time alone, which is often, I tend to think about that along and freak myself I tend to think about that and freak myself out. I'm trying to have a positive outlook on things, as weak as they may be. So it sounds like it's. It's kind of jumbled a little bit, but it sounds like they're having a panic attack because they keep. They can't find their mate and they're.

Afraid they're never gonna have.

They're afraid, they're afraid of being alone.

So how many listeners out there can relate to being afraid you're never gonna find love and you're never gonna find happiness or at least relate to the panic attack? I'm a little controversial when it comes to the idea of anxiety and panic. And I believe that panic attacks are coping skills. It's a strategy that you're using to deal with your environment when you feel like you can't handle the situation. Panic and depression. We talk so much about how I think one out of every 10 people are on antidepressants or anti anxiety medications. Oh, wow, that's a lot. Yeah, it's like 31 million people. And you know, it's. It's crazy how many people are either addicted to drugs or alcohol or they're on an anti anxiety or antidepressant. So I'm going to say that panic is happening when you're not dealing with the actual emotion and the actual experience that's going on. You're trying to mask it or push it away, get through it as fast as possible. You're rejecting what is.

So you're saying. So you're saying that the panic attack is more of them deflecting the real root of the problem.

Absolutely.

Okay.

Yes. So it's, it's actually, you know, so.

How do you fit, what do you say? Knock it off. How do, how do you.

It's actually really delicate because it's real.

Hey, you stop that.

Right? I'm not saying it isn't real. It's absolutely real.

You stop panicking right now and it.

Becomes almost like an unconscious response, like something. This isn't conscious, this isn't intentional. This isn't something. You wake up in the morning and you say, please let me have a panic attack right now.

And obviously I'm joking. Go ahead.

Right, but still, it's a valid point because no, you can't just say, knock it off.

Right?

Don't do this. What we have to figure out is what is the root issue? What is actually underneath the panic? Are you angry? Are you scared? Are you sad? Are you feeling threatened by a certain situation? And I'M going to say 100% of the time, what's underneath the panic attack. It isn't just an emotion, it's a belief. So it's the belief that I'm never going to find my soulmate that we want to address because that's a bunch of crap that you're never going to find your soulmate unless you're committed to never finding your soulmate. So it's whatever we're thinking we're going to create. So it's about the belief that creates the emotion that's negative.

Okay.

Okay. So it isn't the event that creates the negative emotion. It is the belief about the event that creates the negative emotion.

All right, that makes sense.

Are you with me?

Yeah, I got you.

I know this is like convoluted and crazy stuff, but it is not the event. I'm going to say it one more time that's causing your emotional experience. Right. I could get fired from a job and be like, praise the Lord, this is great. Now I can go do X, Y, Z. Or I could get fired from a job and be like, I've gotten rejected. They don't love me, they don't appreciate me. I am never going to be happy in a career. And that is the belief that's going to cause the negative emotion. So it isn't the fact that I got fired, it's what I'm thinking about. The situation causes my emotion.

So how do you change, how do you change the thought process? Because that's the hard part. How do you change this?

First you have to get to the belief, right? If you don't know the underlying belief that you're in, you're not going to change the emotional experience.

Well, this person, according to this email, this person believes that they're going to grow old alone and be alone. And that's, and that's.

Ask yourself. This is Byron Katie's work, by the way. She is unbelievable. And she talks about the difference between what's my business, what's other people's business and what's God's business. But what she's doing is she is shattering beliefs and knocking them in a new direction by asking the question, is it true? So is it true that you're never gonna find a soulmate? We don't know because we're not there yet. So spending all of this time in this belief when it isn't even true, it is a self inflicted prison that you've got yourself in. Right? So if you're willing to go, well, maybe it's not true. Maybe I could look at this another way. That's the first step. That's the first step in feeling better.

Okay.

Is going. Maybe I could change my mind about this. Right? So we call it. You could change your story. I've got the story that I'm going to be stuck in, you know, lonelyville for the rest of my life. Well, maybe that isn't necessarily true, but.

If it's your story, why do you panic about it? Well, here's the thing that sounds stupid.

But I mean, if you're in a story that doesn't feel good, it isn't who you really are.

Well, why don't we just make it a choose your own adventure book and then we're fine?

This is great. Absolutely.

Those are my favorite books.

Uh huh.

Yeah.

And really, it's that simple. We are choosing our own adventure every single day through the thoughts that we think you are. And that's what this work is about, right? With me, it's about taking radical responsibility for your experience. So whatever you're choosing with me, it's.

A choose your own adventure book.

Yes, but whatever you're choosing to think about is what's going to create your experience.

Okay?

So if you are not feeling good, change your mind. It is that simple. I want you first though, to own what you're experiencing instead of rejecting it and making yourself wrong. Why am I doing this again? I shouldn't be angry about this. All those shitting on yourself thoughts are only going to make it worse.

Sure.

Because what's real is what's real. If you're actually panicking, you're actually panicking. So you've got to be able to take a step and embrace it before you can change it. So number one, embrace it. Number two, ask yourself, is this true? Is it true what I'm thinking? Could I think of it a different way? And then the third step that I'm going to give you is to ask yourself, what do I need to feel peace in this moment? What do I need to feel better right now? Do you need a nap? Do you need a shower? Do you need to eat something? Do you need to call a friend? Do you need to go for a hike? What is it that would make you feel better in this moment? Not necessarily going from A to Z all of a sudden trying to resolve something big in a millisecond, but just in this moment, what could you do to feel a little bit better? And then in the next moment, what could I do to feel a little bit better than than that. It's baby steps.

Absolutely.

But number one, you got to embrace what's real. Whatever's going on with you is real until you deal with it. Number two, ask yourself, could I think about this differently? Number three, what do I need to feel peace in this moment?

Local life coach Rebecca silence. It is a confession Tuesday. If you want to bring up something next week, email us right now. Bigpapnykiss.com B I G P O P P A@cny kiss.com Corporate family couple, doesn't matter. Inspired results.

Coach.com and here's my final thought for this listener. If you want to have a relationship, quit focusing on what you don't want. Focus on what you do want so that you can have it. Or just be clear that whatever you're focused on is what you're getting. So it must be what you want.

There it is. It is a confession Tuesday. Local life coach everybody. Rebecca silence in studio. We'll see you next Tuesday.

Excellent.

Go to break, come back, Have a great week. Leon, NTN and Rami live from New York City coming up next here on KISS fm.