Confession Tuesday "Husband Loses His GF" 11-26-13

Local life coach Rebecca Silence it. Apparently it's hat day here on Confession Tuesday. So here's. Here's how we're rolling. Of course, Rebecca is available for private sessions and doing a lot of corporate stuff. Yeah.

Lots of trainings.

If you are a. If you are a business, if you are a corporation, even if you are some sort of organization and you want Rebecca to come in and talk to your organization, talk to your club, talk to your class, you can absolutely do so and just reach out to inspired results coach.com and it could be on you pick the topic. If there's something.

I do a lot dealing with difficult people. I do conflict resolution. I do a lot around making sure the people on your team are being utilized effectively based on their actual type of leadership style and personality. We'll create vision plans for your company, whatever it is you need. I'm doing a lot with schools this year at Donovan Middle School, and they're every month doing teacher in services, parent workshops and student assemblies, which is a blast.

Awesome. And also if you want to have confession Tuesday live at your business, you can have that as well. So.

Yes.

So, yeah, that, that, that's. That's Rebecca and myself at the same time doing this with.

With the anonymous questions that your employees have that they won't ask you.

That's awesome. I love that.

I love exactly what we'll do.

I absolutely love that. So again, inspired results coach.com for all those details and go to cnykiss.com click on confession Tuesday on the left hand side and you can tell us your story and we'll handle it here on the air, confidentially and for free. All right, you ready?

I'm ready.

Okay. Dear Big Pop and Rebecca, I have. I have a girlfriend who I call her my princess. We've been together for two years and now are breaking up because I'm currently married to my wife, who I married because she got pregnant. But I never felt love for my wife. But with this girl, we have a good connection. We love each other so much. We did so many things together. But now we are breaking up because she says she wants a man just for her, not a man with kids. But we both love each other so much. Yesterday I show her and she cried. But now I don't know what to do. And if I fight for our love or let her go.

Mm. Yeah. I appreciate your honesty. And believe it or not, you're not alone. There are a lot of people in similar situations. And you know, I always say I have no agenda for anyone. Like, if an open relationship or a polyamorous lifestyle is what you know you want. You got to set it up absolutely so that you can have it.

Yeah. This is a judgment free zone. And you know, you're trying to make the best of the situation.

But see, what happens is people set their lives up either unconsciously to heal all the things that are unhealed, learn all the lessons that they needed to learn, or you can heal through all that stuff and then you can get conscious and set your life up the way you actually want it.

Right.

Otherwise you're just repeating the patterns that your family has had generation after generation, and it's the same old thing. So, you know, just consider the possibility that you're setting something up right now to heal and break a pattern. And either you're gonna get through this pattern or the scenery will change and you'll just do it again.

Okay. So, so, so break that down to real talk. So as far as the situation goes.

Yeah. So what I'm saying is you gotta really get honest with yourself about what you want. Okay. Because you're at choice. You're not trapped in a dead end marriage. What if no one is? You can either recreate and reinvent that marriage or you can move on.

Right.

You know, and I encourage people to be really careful about when you move on. If you're triggered and angry and wronged and upset, there might still be more healing for you to do. I really encourage people to wait to end relationships until they're absolutely clear.

Especially if there's children involved.

Yeah. And empowered. Because the worst thing to do is be wishy washy back and forth, back and forth. I'm in, I'm out, I'm in, I'm out. And I get that sometimes in my office. And so you gotta make a choice. What do you want your life to look like? Cause it actually sounds like this woman is pretty clear about what she wants her life to look like. And either you're going to have your life set up to be a part of that, or you're not. So that's your choice. And good for her for being willing to go after what she wants, even if it means moving on and moving past things that weren't working for her. So I actually would say this woman is taking some leadership. And I encourage you to take leadership as well of your own life. What are you wanting? But then whenever you're identifying what you're wanting, ask, why do I want this? What do I think this is gonna get me? Because like we were saying in the Last segment, if you think it's gonna get you complete, be careful. Right, because it won't. You know, this isn't gonna be the fix that finally makes your life work. All of a sudden that fresh love is gonna end. The new job, the new relationship, whatever it is, and you're still left having to look at yourself. So what is it that you want your life to look like? And then you gotta get resourceful about how you set it up that way. You know, I. Last night I worked a really long day. Yesterday I came home and I had one of my good friends, Sarah Kayser came over to the house and did couples yoga with my husband and I. So I thought to myself, when that ended, I'm so grateful. This is how I set my life up. Like I can work hard, but then I also get to do couples yoga in my living room.

Right.

How much fun is that? You know, last weekend we had a great little birthday party for my kid. You could set it up to have anything you want. And it means you gotta be able to look at and shed anything that isn't actually serving you right or that you've outgrown. And that means being willing to let other people not like that and have their own reaction and opinion about.

Is Rebecca silence inspired results coach.com all right, so, so the gentleman who, who emailed in homework for this guy.

Yeah. So do you let her go or do you fight for the relationship? I mean it sounds like she's made it pretty clear what she's looking for.

Yeah, she wants, she wants a full time guy. That's, that's how it's coming across.

Right. And everyone deserves that. Unless you are choosing in to a different type of lifestyle, which is okay too. But you know, so what if it isn't about do you fight for her, do you let her go? What if it's about you getting clear about what you actually want and why? That's the homework.

Inspired results coach.com it's local life coach Rebecca Silence on a confession Tuesday. Make sure you like her on Facebook, follow on Twitter and of course we do it up here every single Tuesday.

And here's how you know if what you want is actually something that you're committed to, you're willing to do whatever it takes to get it. If you're not willing to do whatever it takes to get whatever goal you're saying you want, then you're not actually committed to it. You're committed to whatever you're doing now. So think about that as well. Just what am I committed to and why so good.

You're so good.

It's important.

Rebecca. Silence. Inspired results. Coach.com on a confession to be good.

To yourself with your families over Thanksgiving. If any of those crazy family members are driving you crazy, just look at them like they're four or five years old because they probably are. If they're acting weird and that's okay, just love them anyway and.

And then email us and we'll talk about it next Tuesday. All right, we're going to break it back. Big pop of the morning. Kiss fm.