A recorded radio segment (posted 5/19/2015) featuring life coach Rebeccah Silence. She gives a personal update that she will begin a year-long immunotherapy regimen (intensive infusions in June followed by home shots) and then provides coaching to a caller worried that her 21‑year‑old daughter — engaged after a four‑year relationship — is too young to marry, advising parental support over attempts to control the daughter’s choice.
Questions this video answers
A year-long immunotherapy course starting in the next couple of weeks (as of the May 19, 2015 broadcast).
Three-hour infusions five days a week for four weeks (the first month).
Three shots a week administered at home after the first month.
The daughter is 21 years old and has been with her boyfriend for four years (dating since high school).
He proposed last week (relative to the May 19, 2015 broadcast).
And it is a confession. Tuesday, local life coach Rebecca. Silence in studio. Once again. Good morning. Good morning.
Good morning. Good morning.
So just so people have the upfront, the month of June, you will not be here, correct?
I have a year of immunotherapy starting in the next couple of weeks. I meet with my oncologist next week to come up with an actual treatment plan, but this is so my immune system can kill any microscopic cancer that may still be in my body. Right now, they're saying there's no evidence of disease. I'm clear. But they can't call me cancer free yet. And this is just preventative treatment. But because of that, it's actually three hour infusions five days a week for four weeks, the first month. So I will be having some intensive treatment that first month, which will be June, so I won't be on the radio, but I will be with you in spirit. We'll do some best ofs, and then I'll be back in July.
Well, I want to make sure that we address it a couple times. I appreciate that leading into it.
Yeah, no, that's great.
You know, everyone knowing at this point that, you know, you battled cancer and beat it at this point, you know, and having you, we don't want you to just disappear, be like, well, what's going on? And have people worry about it. So I want to make sure that we're, you know, we're proactive, saying this is actually part of the treatment, this is planned and whatnot.
It is. And the first month is infusions, and then after that, it's just three shots a week at home. There are some chemo like, side effects that could happen. And then I could be okay. We'll just see how it goes. The first month, though, should be the most difficult. And then, then once I'm through that I'm optimistic that I'm in the clear.
Well, you know, I'm a text message away.
Yes.
So simple, easy.
Absolutely. Thank you. And thanks for everyone's support so much. All of your emails and calls and everyone reaching out has been so appreciated. And it's been really great this month to feel so healthy and recovered from all the surgeries. And then I'm in good shape to start this treatment.
Wonderful, Wonderful. It is a confession. Tuesday. Go to cnykiss.com and submit your questions. Submit what's going on and let Rebecca help you get out of your own way to get what you want out of whatever facet of life we're talking about, whether it be family, whether it be relationships, career, money, whatever it is you can get there. And so let's get to it.
Yes.
Dear Rebecca, my 21 year old daughter is in college and she's been with her boyfriend for four years. They've been dating since high school. Well, last week he proposed and she said yes. She's still a college student and basically zero life experience. I think she's way too young to get married. I didn't get married until I was 33. I didn't have her until I was 36. Would it be wrong for me to tell my daughter that she shouldn't get married? Is she making a huge mistake?
Thank you for this brave email. This is a tough one to be so honest about, not necessarily supporting the choices that your daughter's making. And she's 20, she's an adult. I really appreciate you reaching out. And you know, I think what's so important is that we all get the opportunity to learn our own lessons, right? And when there's someone trying to influence me and making my decision, a lot of times that'll just push people even closer to what it was they already wanted to do. So consider the possibility that your daughter's gonna do whatever she's gonna do no matter what, if you support her or not. Right. Consider that your support is really important to her, but she needs to make her own decisions. And that may mean making some decisions that won't end well, that may look like she's failing before she is making decisions that make her happy, who knows? But she'll do what she's gonna do anyway. And so I don't think you have to agree with her. But I would encourage you to consider what you're projecting onto your daughter, what your issues are, your fear that's coming up that may have nothing to do with her. And try not to put that on her.
Right.
And what I mean by that is you may have some of your own regrets, you may have some relationship history that you look back and think, if only I had known. You can't save her from herself or her decisions. And then, you know, the other piece here is there are some couples who got together in high school and they make it work and they're happy. And it isn't that they missed out out by being together. They found each other early. So there's a couple of different versions of this story that you could tell yourself and project onto your daughter. One is that she's making the perfect decision for herself and you're gonna love her and support her no matter what. And the other is, you're making a mistake, you're gonna regret this later. And which story empowers and nurtures your relationship with your kid.
Right. And I think you're wrong. I, you know, you should. You should wait, blah, blah, blah. Okay. That's, you know, that's your opinion, but at the same time, it's not about you anymore.
Well, right. And your opinions are always you projecting your own stuff onto other people.
Sure.
Your opinions never actually have anything to do with the other person. So your daughter's innocently trying to find her way and deserves unconditional love. She deserves safe space to be who she is, to make the choices that she's gonna make.
Now, it's got to be different, because when parents talk to children and when friends talk to friends, it comes off a lot differently because parents like I. It almost seems like a parent I know better than you. That's how the talks kind of.
I call it like making people wrong.
Okay. As opposed to a friend being like, you know, you know, you know, I'll support whatever your decision you make. However did you, you know, take in the possibility that you could be, you know, it's a little early. You just want to be careful with.
That, because if they don't give you permission to give your opinion, you're might as well be like the Charlie Brown teacher.
Okay.
Right. Because if you didn't say, hey, I have some thoughts. Do you want to hear them? And just start going, hey, I love you so much. Know you're doing great, but I really want you to think about whether or not this is a mistake. Right. They're not gonna hear you, even if your intentions are good. And honestly, even if your intuition is right. I'm saying that this mother doesn't have maternal intuition and see the train coming a million miles away. But that doesn't matter. Your daughter deserves to learn for herself, and this may be something that will be wonderful for her. And if you can just treat it like it is and treat her like she's capable and smart of making her own decisions, you're not gonna lose your daughter in the process of trying to save her. If you're gonna try to save her, I guarantee you lose her. And so instead. What? I would encourage you to say that again.
Say that again.
If you try to save her, I guarant until you lose her. And I don't want that for you or for her.
Right.
And that's what happens when we're trying to save any relationship. You lose the person. So instead, nurture the relationship. Get close and let them know no matter what, you're gonna love them, you're gonna support them. Off the air. We were just talking about some people that you love and support regardless of their decisions. That's all you can do. It's all you can do. And then you're there when they need you and do ask for your help or support or opinion or guidance. But right now she just wants you to celebrate with her. And at the very least, you've done great. You have a 21 year old who found love. How awesome is that? You don't have a kid who's a hermit, isolating, afraid of relationships. Celebrate that she found love. She wants love. That's huge. And don't scare her off from love at 21.
And the email doesn't say anything negatively about the guy at all.
That's why I'm suggesting it sounds like maybe your own fears are being projected onto this. And then she'll do what she's gonna do anyway. So love her and that way you don't lose her in the process.
Local life Coach Rebecca Silence inspiredresultscoach.com if something's going on in your world, corporate speaking or anything at schools, make sure you hit Rebecca up. Of course you can like her on Facebook as well. And if you want a segment here on the show, you can go to cnykiss.com please email us. Great stuff as always.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much. We're going to break. Come back. It's big Pop and banna on Kiss FM on a Confession Tuesday.
