A short radio/YouTube life-coaching segment (Confession Tuesday) where a listener asks why her sister, newly busy with work and a baby, doesn't return calls for days. Host Gary introduces the question and coach Rebeccah Silence responds by reframing expectations, urging direct honest communication, suggesting serving the sister (practical help like bringing diapers or short visits/FaceTime), and recommending avoiding needy/taker behavior to preserve the relationship. The segment closes with website plugs (cnykiss.com, inspiredresultscoach.com).
So how does it work? Real simple. We go to cnykiss.com you tell us what's going on in Your World, and Ms. Life Coach over here. Ms. Inspired Results. Coach.com breaks it down. And a lot of times the. The thing that you do is you cut through all the clutter and you get to the main root of it. Because a lot of times, everyone gets so wrapped up into the well, he said this, she said this. Drama, drama, drama, drama. What is the main point of this? What's the main.
And we get the gray removed. So we make. A lot of times I don't want people to be black and white, but when it comes to drama, let's get black and white. Let's get really real about the facts. So then you can make decisions moving forward. And it's not that what you're going through is your preference or something you want, but if it's happening, what are you gonna do about it? I certainly don't want to have cancer, especially not after I just had a baby and have this gorgeous man at home and my other daughter. But I do. So what am I gonna. Or I can be in crisis, and that's the same for all of us. Your situation can be a crisis, or you can be in leadership.
So cnykiss.com is the website. You ready?
I'm ready.
All right. Dear Rebecca, my sister and I are always really close. We always have been. We're less than two years apart, and we grew up being best friends. But since we've gotten older, that's changed a bit. She's really busy with work and just had a baby. Now it's basically impossible to get her on the phone. She screens my calls and doesn't typically call me back until four or five days later. She doesn't typically call me back until four or five days later. Shouldn't you always answer calls from your family? She tells me. I don't understand. Busy because I don't have a baby. Is that true?
This is a really interesting email. Thanks for writing in. I think, first of all, what if there's no rules about how to be with family? Right. There are certain people that behave in ways that are loving with their families. There are certain people that are disconnected from their families. What I'm hearing from your email is maybe you feel disconnected from your sister, and that might be causing some emotion like anger or sadness or fear. And it's true that you don't have a baby, but that doesn't mean that you have to be disconnected from your sister and What I would encourage this listener to think about is, what if it doesn't have to look the way you want it to look? You might have a picture in your mind, like, we talk every day on the phone, or I see you twice a week. What if you let yourself get out of the picture of how you think things should look and do your best to get connected? Because what happens is, if I perceive you, we can just use you and me as an example as being disconnected from me. I might back off and shut down and get resentful. Well, when I do that, I'm just kind of driving the wedge. Or I can be honest and open and say, hey, Gary, I love you. I miss you. You. I'm feeling disconnected. Is everything cool between us? Call a spade a spade.
Right.
And I'm almost wondering if your sister doesn't know how important she is to you, she might not understand that this is impacting you the way it is. She's got. And believe me, I have a newborn at home. A lot going on, especially if this is her first child. It's a whole new world. And it doesn't mean you don't love and care for the people that you love and care for. But this baby is 24 7. Care. And then she has to find a way to have a relationship with herself and her husband and get used to this new thing. So it may be that she loves and trusts you so much, she's okay going four or five days before you talk, because she just knows your unconditional love and you're there for her and that whenever she's ready, you're gonna be there. So you could look at this like, wow, this is a compliment. Or you could look at this like, she's not giving me enough attention. Your choice. See what I mean?
Yeah. And. And. And coming from the, you know, from the sister who just had the baby point of view, especially if it's a first baby and whatnot, it can get very. It can seem very overwhelming. And if someone's like, hey, why don't you call me back? You know, it all depends on how and on how you address it, too. Why don't you call me back? It's been four days. Why don't you go? You know? And, you know, it almost seems like a smothering of affection at times.
Absolutely. And so I think about people as either being givers or takers. Right. And a giver. A lot of people think that when they're give, give, give, give, give. That's being a giver only are you a giver if you're giving and receiving so that your cup is filled back up at the same time, Right. If you're give, give, give, give, give, and your cup's depleted, you're a taker. Or if you're just take, take, take, take, take, you're a taker. So don't be a taker in your relationships. I want everybody to think about that. If you're depleting the energy of the relationship, you're not nurturing it and the relationship is gonna be in trouble. So for this listener, I would encourage you. Don't be a taker who's needy with your sister. Think about, what can I give her? How can I be of service? You just had a baby. I miss you. I love you. I will buy you diapers. I will bring you a latte. What is it that I could do? Even if it's for two minutes of FaceTime and a hug. I remember when my husband and I first got together, he would drive 45 minutes just to give me a kiss goodnight real quick and leave. You know, do so that you're being of service. And then that's going to make you feel needed and important and connected to your sister. Instead of wanting her to do something for you, how about you show up for her, ask her what it is that she needs, how you could help, and then just make sure you know, you've said, I love you. You're so important to me. I don't care what it looks like. I just want to stay connected to you right now, especially with the new baby. I know you're going through so much. What can I do? I want you to be of service.
Local life coach Rebecca silence inspired results coach.com and go to cnykiss.com and all of the backlogs are in there as well. Of course, you can submit your questions as well. We're going to break and come back more on A Confession Tuesday with Rebecca Silence next here on Kiss fm.
