Embrace the Journey of Falling and Failing, so That You Can Get Up and Live! | Take Your Life Back

The healing is possible experience where today we are talking about falling and failing and how to get beyond that so that we can experience more in business and beyond and just really get the most out of our lives. I am your host, Rebecca Silence honored today to be welcoming the phenomenal Jamie Rowe to the healing is possible experience. Jamie has just been a huge light and gift to my life on so many levels. A huge piece of the gas in the tank of the healing as possible mission and movement. And Jamie is someone who has been through it. Ups and downs in business, ups and downs personally, ups and downs. And really the way I see you, Jamie is in a full on commitment to not losing yourself for any reason. And that's risky business to go. I am not going to dumb it down, settle dim my light so that I can keep what maybe actually isn't there. If I was fully me and I have just watched you more and more and more embrace being the version of yourself you want to be. And I think that's the essence of what this healing is possible mission is all about. Being you fully the you you want to be so that you go to bed at night knowing you were so Jamie, welcome. I am so glad to have you.

Thank you. I should say thank you to you and celebrating and honor you. You've been such a pivotal point, especially the retreat in January and the work that we did that still is here and present. In fact, the other day I was working on a self compassion piece and the commitment that I made came up from that retreat and just a beautiful reminder like it all just connects everything together. So thank you and tell people if.

You would what your healing intention for the retreat was so they can, they can get the taste of that.

So my healing intention for the retreat was that it's safe to receive love. And it was, that was tough. That was tough to even say. I think when I was standing up in front of everyone to say that it's safe to receive love because so many times in my life it hasn't been safe to receive love. So to surrender, that's what it comes down to is surrendering and opening up your heart to accept love, to receive. That is something that I've been working on and it's thanks you that I was even to speak it. And it's written everywhere around my house now. Anyone who knows who's going through like you know, transformation on occasion, you're like what is that a post it note on your refrigerator? It's like, don't worry about it, you can make your own so thank you. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. And I'm so glad you're bringing up the power of intention here because I think that when we're not intentional, it makes falling and failing even more excruciating. When we are intentional, at least we still have a direction and a focal point that we're paying attention to. And we already are aware that there's life beyond that fall or that failure because of our intention.

Well, and I think too, having the intention is important also is looking at failure in a different way. So failure to me, if you look the word fail, that's first attempt in learning. We are in the human experience and we're supposed to make mistakes, we're supposed to fail. It's part of our up leveling. And I see if you see it as, you know, I think this is probably from you, is that it's not happening to me, it's happening for me. Did we discuss this? This is probably you.

Well, the way I say it is different. So a lot of people say that, right? Like it's happening to you, it's happening for you. I say it's just happening.

That's so much easier. Let's do that. Right?

And then who are you going to be? And I like that we're kind of kicking off with talking about reframing failure because I think it's so easy to go into shame. I think it's so easy to want to like hide the failures or. Or to think that somehow the failures have something to do with your worthiness or deservingness. I think, you know, with, with my 7 year old, I forget what happened. She lied about something and she just looked at me with her little big eyes and she said, mommy, you're upset with the choice, right? Not with me. Oh, like yes, Seneca, I love you. This choice, annoying. And of course I love you the same, no matter what. Right. And you. If we could do that with ourselves when it comes to failure, like it was the choice that didn't work, it was the strategy that maybe didn't go the way we wanted it to. So just don't do it again. And know that because this thing failed or this attempt, that doesn't make you at your essence on a soul level of failure.

Yes. That's such an important point. I think too. Especially in the darkest of times. I mean, I remember sitting, gosh, wow. I was standing outside my warehouse. Can I share a story, please?

And I want. Let's go into that. I want people to know, like, who are you and why is this Topic today so important to you and share your story with us.

Yeah, I'm a serial entrepreneur. I'm one of those risk takers that tries different things all the time who are like, what are you doing now? I get that email all the time. Like, I just want to catch up and see what you're doing now in your life. Cause I've done so many different things. I've owned about six businesses. I've bought and sold a business. I've enjoyed creating other people's businesses, has consultants and coaches, and so I like variety. And I really enjoy working with entrepreneurs who have that passion and love and excitement, and they're willing to leap. Willing to leap and have some fun with it. So how I help a lot of people is just from my past failures. Like, I'm like, okay, I did this. Super. Don't do this. So, for example, I always say, like, I'm the kid that everyone's like, hey, don't stick your fork in the outlet. And I was like, dude, I need to try this. So I go over, stick my fork in the outlet, and be like, oh, my God, Electrocuted. Everyone. Hey, everyone, don't do that. That's a really bad idea. Don't stick your fork in there. And then build systems and processes around that so that other people won't feel like, now, you know, we all need to fail in some form or another. But I think, too, is you can get some shortcuts from some other people with mentors and coaches, so you don't have to really fail. You can just kind of fail a little bit sometimes, and that's okay, too.

Yeah. Yeah.

So I have one of my businesses, and I had a vendor that was probably 60% of my revenue, and I made a mistake. I brought in a competitor, and overnight I lost 60% of business. And I remember standing outside my warehouse getting phone calls from my customers, like, what's going on? Why can't we order this anymore? Like, what happened? And I'm on the phone trying to save deals, crying out in the parking lot. I had family call me, like, because I had said something. This is really bad. Like, everything was crashing. That same week, my husband at the time was diagnosed with Ms. And I turned 40, all in seven days. Like, I lost revenue. Yeah. Personal stuff is going on. And this monumental for at the time, I'm like, oh, this big birthday. And I remember just thinking, like, this is the. This is awful. Like, this is the most suffering. I don't know if anyone's ever cried so hard. Like, you're like leaning over the sink, crying so hard. Like, it. Everything in your body hurts. Like, you're. You cannot cry hard enough, and you feel like this is like the lowest you can possibly go. So I've had many of those moments. That's one. But also it comes down to, I think, is self compassion, you know, slowing down and just kind of acknowledging the pain. This is really hard right now. This is really, really hard right now. Like, this sucks. All of this sucks. I think in acknowledging that, instead of saying, buck up, let's go, and I've done that too. I've beat myself like a dead horse of the whip. Like, come on, let's go. You should have been better. You should have known better. That inner critic popping in. But I think, too, it's just validating that this is really hard. I think the other is to know you're not alone, especially if you're an entrepreneur, especially if you're suffering from anything. Guess what? My good friend Jason Hopkins says everyone suffers from something. Everyone, right? There's. There's going to be something or another Maya Angelou, who said, you know, if everyone put all the problems down on the table and you saw everyone else's problems, you would gladly scoop up your own and walk away, right? So we all suffer.

Such a profound quote, right? Like, I remember thinking about that with my body. Talk about feeling like a failure when I first got diagnosed with cancer and I'm pregnant. I'm thinking about all of the years of drinking too much, eating disorders, running marathons while I was anorexic and surviving off of wine, basically, while I'm training for marathons and running marathons as a single mother. I mean, oh, my God, I was talk about failing and making mistakes on so many levels. And so when I got diagnosed, my brain went into. And I think it's important to think about it like this. Like, your brain is going into a reaction to the scenario in front of you. And we've got to really look at what thoughts are we following and feeding and buying into? And if it's not a thought that calms you down, then wait a minute. You don't have to buy it like it's gospel. And I think what you're saying about the acknowledgement piece first is so important. Just acknowledging, like, here's a thought or here's a feeling, or here's a, you know, moment where I'm finding myself gutted over a sink and I can't cry hard enough. And I think, you know, one of my favorite parts of my Cancer journey was realizing I wouldn't trade my body with anybody else's. Yeah, I knew my body, I trusted my body. It wasn't my fault, the cancer. And it's not your fault. Right when that even if there was an actual mistake, 60% revenue goes away. Byron Katie calls it God's business. It's like the results aren't our responsibility. It's who we're being in the face of the results, on the pursuit of the next set of results, that is our responsibility. I think.

No, I completely agree with that. And I think it's having the wherewithal to slow down and to just be present to what's happening. Because all, you know, the emotions of it you can get, it can completely take over. And then it's almost like with the adrenaline running too, is that all the blood leaves your frontal cortex. And so you're like a monkey talking, right. You're living in adrenaline and you're not in a place where you can ground and really grasp what's happening, what's going on. And it is God's business. Some of these things. That was one of the greatest gifts because I actually found out later, I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue, stage 2, and an autoimmune of my thyroid. That business as successful it was, I took it from zero to a million 26 months. It was literally killing me, like I was dying inside. I worked 24 7. It was a high, high intensity business. I set out to make a million dollar business and I didn't care about my health, you know, anything. I didn't care about anything. I just wanted to build this business. It was an experience in of itself. But no, that's, that's an important point. Those things happen. It's how you look at it and then what you do with it. But it is, it was a blessing.

Yeah, well, and I think the other thing you're talking about, two more things I'm hearing that I think are important are one, like sometimes we do just even with information and other people's life experiences have to try and bail on our own. Right. Like your whole fork in the outlet analogy. Right. Like don't go stick your fork in an outlet, please. But you know, sometimes there's a scenario where you're just like, you know, and I think we see it as parents all the time. And even with our employees when we are talking about business, you can't do it for them. Right. We got to empower them to figure it out on their own. And sometimes they're just going to want to make that mistake their way on, you know, their timeframe so that they can learn for themselves. And then also I think really what you're talking about is the difference between going into the pain and the story and just being with it before you do anything. I think it's so easy to often want to go into mindset and strategy. And I really see that especially in the practice of emotional healing and living beyond falling and failing. I see the strategy and the doing and trying to figure out what to do and how to do it as the last step. When so many people go to that as the first step. But just acknowledging here's where I'm at and then being with it before you do anything I think gives us so much power and control.

No, I love that it's kind of like the analogy of ready, fire, aim. Right. We need to aim first, which is just being with it and then make decision what you want to do and be in it. And also the other two is I think that I've done in the past when I didn't want to be with it is that I didn't even want to be with the pain. I don't know if anyone's experienced that it's so painful. You would go into a coping mechanism and so numbing out. I exercise movement like I over exercise. Like I did some things where I just didn't want to feel it. And so recognizing that and sometimes I think too is now I recognize when I start to cope. Like I'm like I need to go to CrossFit every day. That sounds crazy, right? That's not a good idea on your body either. Even though the gym they would disagree with me. But is that sometimes I'm like I'm just being aware of what I'm doing right now. This is coping. I don't feel great, so I'm going to go to the gym. And I know that's endorphin release. It's the pain and then the pleasure. But being aware of that too has you come up to suffering. I think it's. It's getting out of autopilot of your life, you know, it's having intentional choices. You may make that same choice to do whatever your coping is, but you're doing it with intention and consciousness. And I think that's an important piece too.

Yeah, well. And because of that intention and consciousness, there's almost like a commitment to arriving at that intention from a place of powerful choosing. And I think that's what the consciousness is. You're powerfully choosing to be with the information, the stimulus, the results, where they are with an intention of knowing where you're headed, inevitably, eventually. And I think until we are intentional in such a way where it is inevitable, we are just kind of crossing our fingers and hoping and blowing in the wind.

Yeah, yeah, no, I agree. And I think too, the other thing is, I think it's important to recognize that you're not alone. That was a big deal for me. I always thought like, oh, I'm an entrepreneur. I lost all this revenue. I could completely lose my business, all my income coming home to my family. I rent this warehouse. I have all these employees, I have all these sales reps that all. I helped put food on their table. There's all this responsibility on it. I thought, no one's ever been through this. Oh my gosh, how many people have lost everything time and time again through whatever tragedy or, you know, whatever case. So knowing that other people are suffering and I think the last piece was. I just. It's almost like self soothing where you're just saying, you got this, you got this. It's. And I have a thing, like I always say, you know what? This too shall pass. This too shall pass. Everything's going to be. It always turns out great. It always turns out great. It always turns out great. Like I will say that over and over in my head and I sometimes, sometimes I don't believe it and I'm talking myself into it. You know, if you say it, you believe it, blah, blah, blah, over and over. But I think it's having like that overall perspective. You know what, this is just what's happening right now. And it's God's work or however you want to say that, you know, Byron, Katie stuff. But, but it's, it's for a reason. And everything's going to turn out. Everything's going to be great. Everything's going to be great. So that has gotten me through a lot. Hand on my heart and sometimes like rubbing my, you know, like around my, my chest and my neck here. It's just like, you can be your best coach, you can be your best cheerleader because it's all right here. You have everything you need. Yeah, well.

And I think you're. You're touching on something so important. I teach about four steps that maybe I'll segue into right now about how to connect to and follow internal guidance because really, I think great coaches and mentors and therapists are helping people find their own answers in their own way. And I think it's Easy to think, especially if you're experiencing a lot of failure or falling down and you're just, you know, whether it's an experience of embarrassment or humiliation or shame or just wanting to shut down like Jamie's talking about, like the only way to get beyond the moment that you're in right now, how you feel right now to something new, is for you to lead yourself out of that dark into the light that is your light. It's not about this outside world defining what is going to be right for you. It's about you determining that for yourself.

And I think too and, and receiving it.

You know, there are many said that.

Yeah, same in receiving it. That, that comes because I feel like I know in my mind I have two voices. I have my inner critic and I have my higher self. My higher self. Well, okay, let's start with inner critic. My inner critic, when I would work because I have a, I have a pretty, I have a mean girl. She wears a gray suit, she has brunette hair, it's in a bun, it's very tight, it's glasses, she's got square toed heels and she's always hitting this clipboard with the checkoff list. And she's just beating me like a dead horse, right? So like I remember the days where I'm like going to work and I was so tired. So with adrenal fatigue I had till 11am every morning. And after that I had the cortisol levels the same as 9 o' clock at night. So going to bed. So my cortisol would wake me up and then I had until 11 and then it basically it was like bedtime for me. So what I would do to counteract that, I would listen to my inner critic that's like, oh my God, you have so much work to do. Too bad if you're tired, go to Starbucks again and get another matcha latte. So I had five to six a day just to stay awake. I don't know how much I spent. Starbucks, you're welcome Starbucks. But that, and I didn't listen to that internal compass. I did not listen to internal. My higher self who was like, hey, you need a nap. Like don't take this call. Choose you, Jamie, because when you say no to that person for that meeting, you are saying yes to yourself. And I didn't listen to that voice for literally this is for years. This is therapy by the way. So I think like, you know, and asking for help for that. I mean there is. But there was so much depth and profound learning about myself in that process. And for me, I had to do it the intense, hard way. I had to do it that way. I had to stick my fork in and try it myself. And some of you who are listening, maybe you feel like you have that too, and maybe that's the case. But if there's so many different tools out there, especially what you teach, Rebecca, is that you can help so many people so they don't have to be electrocuted. Right?

Right. Or have a crisis to go. Okay, now, it's bad enough I literally had someone email me yesterday. I can't wait to work with you, but I just don't think I'm in.

Enough pa. Oh, interesting. So how do you respond to that?

Well, I haven't yet, but I will. I will later today. I mean, I think how I'll respond is how, you know, basically along the lines of how we're talking now, the four steps to following your internal guidance system that I teach are you have to first be willing to listen for it like you have a yes, a next right step for you. So I think to this person, I'll be saying, like, you're the only one that knows if you feel like it's, you know, the right next step for you to work with me or not, you don't need an excuse or a way to justify that. Right. So, like, is this a yes or no? And I think everything is yes or no spiritually. And I think the only way we fail. I'll be interested to hear your definition of failure, Jamie, is when we. When we. When we say yes, but we really mean no, or if we would have listened hard enough, it really was no, but we just didn't. We didn't want it to be because we were so attached to it working out. Right. So you got to listen for it and then from there, follow it, trust it, celebrate it before you have any evidence it's going to work out. Because you know what really is failure? Just an opinion that something didn't work out. And to your point, how do we know it didn't work out? You know, I mean, we don't know.

No, that's great. I love that. And if it's not a hell yes, it's a no.

I mean, really, it really is. But then we have to be so careful, I think, because sometimes it really is a yes, but we want to fail on our own terms so that we have control because we're afraid to risk it. So there's so much slipperiness there.

Can I bring up maybe a Controversial topic here, but related to that, that's very interesting to me right now because I see it in my life so much. And I was doing some research on this and it's about the concept that sometimes we do need to fail. We do need to have a crisis. We need to have something not awful happen, but something intense happen. Because there's a small part of you that actually gets off on that. It's a turn on.

It's an addiction to an adrenaline rush. I had my 17 year old daughter say to me she had like, she'll kill me, but I'm just gonna go here anyway. She had been skipping school and got caught and she was like, well, mom, there's kind of like an adrenaline rush that goes with it. Like, oh, dear Lord. Right. But it is an actual real thing that we think, you know, that being risky with ourselves and with our lives somehow has us feeling more alive.

Yes, absolutely. I know that. I've done that in the past. I know that I play the line, like especially in business. I will play the line because I also know there's huge gains if I win. Especially when I did, when I brought on. So I was a CBD distributor. I was the first distributor of CBD in the pet industry back in 24, 2015. Okay. So that was a big risky. That was the series one drug at the time. I tell my kids that I used to be a drug dealer. They love it because they're teenagers and they'll understand that. But I, I very much do play the line because it is an adrenaline rush. I mean, I used to do adrenaline sports too. You know, being a biathlete and training and things like that, time trials, like there's some really, you know, great joy in that. And I guess now that I'm talking about this out loud, Rebecca, this is what always happens with us, is finding those adrenaline rushes in different parts of my life and not in certain other places. This is interesting.

Or, or just turning those adrenaline rush moments into an opportunity to, as cheesy as it sounds, almost create like a natural high from a place of your nervous system is calm and relaxed. I mean, I say this a lot, but I've heard, I don't know where it comes from, but I've heard, heard this line that the most relaxed person in the room is always the most powerful person in the room.

Sure, Yeah, I do. And also. Right. Because they know how to hold the presence like that master solid. And they're, they're the oak tree in the room.

Yeah.

Interesting. Oh, yeah. Journey now okay. Is to get off on the adrenaline rush of the non intense situation. So, so like for example, like the stability of something, you know, like when I had my distribution business is to have more stability around or more things buttoned up before I made a jump to do something. A backup plan B would be a great. That's get adrenaline rush from that instead of just having this is the plan.

Yeah, well, and I always joke, like your goals don't need a backup plan. Like you don't need backup goals. Right. Like, like really go all in or get all out. Right. And that's what you're saying about it's a hell yes or it's a no. And I think you're bringing up a good point because I think another way people can fail, quote unquote, is settling for what's safe because they don't want to lose that. But it's still not fulfilling.

Yeah. And I think too suffering is safe sometimes. And I'll expand on that. So if you're used to the suffering, if you're used to, you know, what's going on in your life, to change that is a big deal. And that could be risky. So it's safer to stay with the abuse. And so. Yeah, go ahead.

Well, because I'll just elaborate on that. It really, and this is so profound and important what you're saying here. It really in our brains is real, that we know we can survive suffering and what we've been surviving and we don't know that we can survive beyond it. So I was in an abusive marriage. I was in abusive relationships with men. Physically abusive, sexually abusive. My poll life until I met my first coach and kind of got woken up. But I was, I was safe in abusive relationships. I knew how to do that. I'll never forget one of the first nights I spent with Mark, waking up with him the next morning and being like, I don't know how to be with an equal. Oh my God. I mean, I get chills just remembering it. Like I was, whoa. I felt so powerful in the abusive relationships because I knew how to navigate that. I knew I could survive that. I felt really powerful being a broke single mom, working three jobs, trying to make ends meet in a van with no heat, crossing my fingers every day. It wasn't going to break down on the side of the road. I knew how to do that, but I didn't know how to go for my life and risk letting myself have it and know I could survive that.

Isn't that fascinating?

And it's what we do.

Yeah, it is what we do. And that's just so. It's so interesting. Like, our brains are. There's so much complexity and layers to it. And the reason the blueprints that have been made when we were kids and those decisions of those trauma, traumatic experiences are now playing out. You know, I'm 44 years old, and I know there's some events that probably happened when I was 6 or 7 that are still making decisions for me today. I mean, I'll admit it. We all have stuff I'll suffer. And I think it's so beautiful and so elegant and brave to make these subconscious traumatic experiences conscious so that you can then make better decisions and to not do it alone. I think that's what's so great about your retreat, is that we all have our stuff. Like I've been repeating over and over. But like everyone else has their struggles. They're different from yours, but they have this underlying theme of a similarity that you can find, we all find as humans. When you tell a story, I'm like, how does this relate to me? You know, things like that. But the retreat, like, to not just decide this new behavior you're going to make and be like, okay, I'm just making a commitment to myself, whatever, if I do it or not. Like, a whole group of people holding you, physically holding you, as they did in the retreat for me, holding me. But to be held and then held accountable for that, too, because you don't have to do it alone. And we try and do it alone. Especially really stubborn entrepreneurs like myself. Like, I should know how to do this. I shame myself, right? You should know how to do this. You're smart. Why haven't you figured this out? You know, that inner critic. But being open to receiving love from others so you can feel supported. I think that's one of the. Is this. This is kind of like an advertisement for your retreat. Can you do another one? Ready? I'm ready.

We are in June and in November. Oh, my gosh. But the points are so valid. Like, we're not alone. And I think it's another Byron Katie quote. There really is no new suffering. Right. It just comes in different costumes. But I wanted you to go back to. You were saying you have an inner critic. And then what were you calling the opposite of that?

That's my higher self. And she's lovely. I visited her in meditations. And I have all my clients actually do this. Oh, by the way, I'm risking in business. But one of the great things I do is I Create a lot of stability systems and processes for my clients because I don't want them to go through what I went through. So my higher self, I've spent some time with her. She owns a home in the Pacific Northwest, north of Seattle. And she has a lot of crystals and a tree growing, her house and plants, beautiful view of the ocean. I spent a lot of time with her, just connecting in with her because she is. She's in to help me create a more fulfilling life, a fulfilling balance, intentional life. That is the direction that I want to go to. When I initially met her, I remember looking around her house and thinking, I don't have a house like this. Like, this is gorgeous. All these windows. And you walk in, there's a black wall painted in this huge clear quartz, like a very dramatic entrance with plants all around. And so after I spent time with her, I actually started to build my house like that. I even had someone come the other day. They're like, there's 18 plants in this room. I'm like, and I like plants.

They.

They. They all have names like Georgina and Ferdinand and things like that. And so this higher self, I can tap in and connect with her. When I need her. At any time, she's right there, sitting on my shoulder. She's like the angel, you know, like the old cartoons, the devil and the angel on either shoulder and the side, like goofy. She is my angel there. And I know her voice. Her voice is so soft. It's so soft, but strong. Kind of like the strongest person in the room is the quietest person in the room. And here's an example. So I did a meditation. And this is right when I left an international coaching business I used to work for. And I was like, what am I supposed to do? Like, what is my calling? I'm just so. I'm so lost. And I went up to Breckenridge, spent the week up there, and I sat on this deck on the Blue river, and I just opened up my hands, and I did. And I spent some time with her in meditation. And it was such a gorgeous sunny day. And all I heard when I when from her voice was, is, take flight. Just take flight. And when I opened my eyes, all the birds were coming down and eating the insects off the Blue River. And it was, like, swarming. And they were the big, you know, the stellar jays and the little, you know, hatchlings and. Or whatever those. I'm not a bird person. Anyway, so all these birds were coming. And then I'm walking downtown Breck that day for Lunch. And I found a feather on the ground of this cafe I went into. I'm like, okay, I got it. I got it. This is what you're supposed to do. Take flights. And what. This. What I was working on. So it's just. It's such beautiful, elegant messages. Is. Is why I know it's my inner critic that's yelling at me and is a mean girl.

Well, and I think the example you just gave is the example of listening, following, trusting it, celebrating it without that evidence being there prior to the intention and the commitment. And. And I think that's important that you said when you met your highest self, would you tell people what you mean by that? Because, like, did you. Did you meet her or did you design?

That's a good question.

Oh.

I don't know, Rebecca. It could be a combination.

I don't think there is a right answer. I just think it's important to talk about this on a show where we're talking about falling and failing as a just normalized way of getting to life beyond survival. And I think if we think about it in terms of, like, I'm supposed to meet this higher version of myself, then there's a chance that maybe we decide that we didn't get to have that instead of, like, and we can design that version of ourselves.

Yeah, you certainly can. I think, too, is, you know, in the meditation where I met her and designed her, maybe now let's talk this through. You know, meditation. Get an elevator pops up in the air. You turn the dial to 20 years ahead. So I meet my. Myself at 64, and the elevator pops in the air and then drops down in front of my future house. I go to the door, and then she greeted me, and maybe I did design who she was. And she'll change and morph sometimes, but she's still the same core. And sometimes I just want to go and I ask a question, and she's holding my hand and just holding presence for me, because that's all I need. I don't need her to say anything. You know, sometimes I'll ask her, like, what do. Like, what do I need right now to get from here to where you are? Just let's start with one thing, you know? And so I think I feel like I maybe did design her to what I think I want to be. But also I think she's manifest as who she is.

I got came from intention.

Yes. Yes.

Right. So isn't that intentionality even part of the design process, like, putting it out there, that this is going to come to you without attachment to what it looks like. And then from there it's like a co creation is what I'm hearing you say.

Yes. And I think it's important too is initially. And I've had some clients do this same meditation and they're like, Jamie, I think I just created it. Like I don't even think that's really her. And so one of my suggestion is suggestions is to do it in the morning where as they say, the veil is thinner. I don't know about anyone else, but once I get rolling into the day, I am in the day. So I have a very dedicated morning practice where I wake up, I feed my chihuahua or he would kill me because he runs. Oh, I work for Mr. Cha Cha, I say and you know, and I do a pour over. It's kind of like a ceremonial thing for me I do every morning. And then I walk downstairs, I burn some incense, turn on my heater and I sit in silence. And that is one of the best times to spend time with her. Because you're most open. At least for me I'm most open because once I get into my day and I open up my email, it's undone. Right. Like my mind just boop boop boop all over the place. So because you can't, I think overly design it and your ego, your ego takes over. We don't want the ego involved here.

And you get to also change your mind too. I mean I think that's another important piece if you're going to get to life beyond the failure or that moment where you feel like you fell down. I think, you know, we constant get to decide who do we want to be, how do we want to live. You don't have to commit to like this is the way it is or else. Because it gets to change.

Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely. And it's about slowing down to build those intentions.

I'm glad you keep reminding people to slow it down.

Yeah, that's because I'm saying it's myself. So I think too is, it's, it's like every time I have something like a breakthrough, like I had that breakthrough at the retreat. I had a breakthrough, you know, this fall. I mean a lot of people I divorced in the last year and it was, it's, it was the greatest gift, you know, and a complete up leveling and healing process. And I know I'm still in the healing process. I'm very aware of that. And I don't think anyone, I've never met someone that's totally healed. I mean, let's be honest, right? It's something. It's like a wonderful thing where it's like working out is you can't just work out one time and be done for the year. It's that maintenance and it's also that. That love for yourself. Like, I love you so much that I'm going to slow down and put my hand over you, my heart, and just ask what you need. I want to drop in. You're so important. I don't want you to suffer. I love you that much. So I mean, slowing down to spend time with yourself and love yourself, I mean, what other gifts could there be? And that's free. It's really just time, you know, if you know people. I don't have time to do that. Well, okay, I say I never have time, but I make the time, you know, make that time for yourself. And having a coach like you can also hold that space for that time. Right. Just like people, they want to work on their business. I hold space for you to build intention and consciousness into your business. And for you, it's at holding that space to work on you, to work on your up leveling, which is so. And they go hand in hand. I don't know if you've noticed that, like when you work on a personal piece, do you feel like it sometimes filtrates over to your business?

Well, I think it's all the same. I mean, I think. I think we are who we are wherever we go. And it's when we try to compartmentalize our way through our lives. Like, I'm going to be this way with my spouse. I'm going to be this way with my kids. I'm going to be this way with my friends. I'm going to be this way at work. I'm going to be this way, you know, with my family of origin. It's exhausting and I think hard and difficult and suffering. None of that has to be the rule you live by. And I think it would be great, Jamie, in the final few minutes for you to tell people why you're saying we need to fail and how do we know what failure is? And then you also have something cool coming up that you're offering for people. So I'd like for you to take a few minutes to share about that as well.

Yes. Thank you so much. So with fail again, it's first attempt in learning. So maybe you had expectation for something and you didn't get the results that you wanted. You can. I mean, there's yes, you can see I failed at that. But also, what did I learn from that? And I think it's all the reframing of what's happening to you and what experience you want to have. If you want to suffer. So many opportunities to do that if you want to suffer. If the frame is, I want to suffer, great. You're in the. You're in the right spot. But human experience is about making mistakes. If you're not, what is this? Clint Eastwood, I think is the greatest quote is, you're not making mistakes. You're not alive. You're not alive. So this human experience is about making mistakes, and everyone makes mistakes, and you are not alone. I think that's most important, acknowledging that pain, not taking a whip and beating you like a dead horse and saying, you're such an idiot. How could you do that? Because it's very easy to go that route. It's very easy to shame, guilt, be angry, sad. It's okay to feel those emotions, but be very aware of what's happening at the time and be intentional about it. Delia, that was your question about failure. Did I answer all of that?

Yeah. No, I think that's good. And I'll just add that I think, you know, as the soul, we can't fail. And when we're failing, when you're saying, like, what's there to learn? I see it as, there's a gap. There's a real gap between where you are and where you want to be. So as you fail, what got you closer and what if you saw it that way? When you're looking at, like, what is there to learn? How do I get closer instead of doubling down on why I don't get to have this or why I don't deserve it or why I'm such a failure that I'll never have it? You're constantly getting closer. The more back to what you were saying about your willingness to be conscious about where you are here and what actually got you closer from that place. You do get closer, and you do close the gap. So I think this is really good. And I think, you know, if we're trying to protect ourselves from being seen as we fall and fail, we're gonna suffocate ourselves and our lives are going to be put on hold. And, you know, I love the Brene Brown. We're, like, quoting everybody today, but you know how Brene Brown brought that Teddy Roosevelt quote back to life about, it's not the critic who counts. It's the one in the arena.

It's not say that again.

Is not the critic who counts. It's the one in the arena.

Yeah, right.

You know, with blood on their face and sweat. And you're going for it.

And the best thing that any of us can do when we think that we failed in some form or another or made a mistake or whatever the case is to tell everyone about it. Tell a bunch of people about it.

I used to have a show called Confession Tuesday. So I'm hearing Confession Tuesday. Yeah, put it out there because then.

It reduces the shame. And you know what? You can help other people heal by telling your story. Like, I've gone really deep into podcasts where I've shared some big screw ups, contain myself. I'm a total f bomber and I've been really containing myself, Rebecca. But I've made some really, really big mistakes and I share them and people can judge me all they want. That's their stuff. But I want to share it because it helps reduce shame. And I know someone else is going through this too. And I've made some amazing connections. People like me too. And not the me too, but you know what I mean? Like, that's happened to me too. That has happened to me too. In fact, I got a text message from a lady the other day I was talking to money mindset thing and she was like, oh my gosh, this is exactly what I do. I've done the same thing. I didn't know anyone else did this, blah, blah, blah. And that was such a healing moment for both of us together. And so if you feel like you failed, gosh darn it, go tell a friend. That is a piece.

That is a good assignment. Now tell us what you are up to that people might want to go check out.

Yes, absolutely. So on March 25th and 26th, we are launching the High Wired. So the High Wired is a mastermind. It is me and my business coach, Jason Hopkiss. Now I am like all like flustered. I am all like excited. I am so excited about this program. So it is a Mastermind. It's a 12 month program where it focuses on supercharging your sales in addition to balancing your business and personal development. A lot of times personal development is not always included in masterminds. So what? We're building a container for you to create a business that's balanced. Not just the business balance, but your life balanced. Because you can build a great business. But if your life is an imbalance, at the end of the day, a we are we winning? Is that fulfillment for you? So taking these two together with these two beautiful retreats that we're doing in the, in the 12 month period in addition to the monthly meetings and the connection and the beautiful moments like oh my gosh. So we're taking applications right now. So that is open right now. You can go to impact to income program.com and Rebecca, I don't know if that's going to be in show notes or things like that, but regardless, you can go in there, go to the.

Highway that in the description.

Okay. Learn more about me and Jason and I have some very funny reels on Instagram. You can follow me on Instagram Impact Underscore to Underscore Income. Just post one out yesterday that I had so much fun making. Thank you 50 Cent. And so yeah, so thank you for asking.

Yeah, well and they also get one on one with three different coaches right in this mastermind. I mean it's chock full of support. So if any entrepreneurs are out there that are interested, reach out to Jamie.

Yeah. So three coaches with personal one on one throughout the year. In addition to you get my free magnetic sales workshop throughout the year. We do that four times a year. So so much is packed in there. So exciting. We're here to hold this space if you're ready to up level your business and yourself. So yeah, thank you.

That's awesome. And I think, you know, it's a great way to end today to talk about your mastermind because I do think all of the falling and all of the failures across the board in our lives lead us to that guidance around what do we want to do with it all. And I think there is a way to do something with all of it. And you're doing that with your mastermind and I'm doing that with healing as possible. And I think think, you know, if you're out there going, I don't have anything, you know, that I can create from all this. What if you just sat with listening for, well, if there was something, what would it be? And what if you don't have to figure it out anymore? What if you get to fall and fail and then find your yeses along the way that are there for you, accessible to you when you listen for them and then from there you get to do something with all of it. And until you know what you want to do with all of it, just be with it until you do get those answers and they will come. And I think we fall, we fail and then we experience those moments that used to feel like we fell down or were failing in a new way. And I think that's important to say, too, because we don't always have to feel like it's a failure. And while we still feel that way, we get to grow more. And then there's going to be a day where, oh, that was no big thing. And it used to be a big thing. Find me@rebeccasilence.com thank you for being here. Healing is possible. Experience is brought to you by my gorgeous team, and we will see you very soon. And Jamie, thank you for an awesome show today. And thank you for being here and for all you do. Love you, everybody. Healing spots.