Emotional Healing for Deeper Connection: Interview with Rebecca Silence

Hey, hey everyone! This is the Charisma Quotient. I'm your host Kim Seltzer, a dating and makeover expert, where I will help you build confidence, make connections, and find love from the outside in. So I just got back recently from my dating retreat, which was simply amazing. It's always transformative. And of course there were a lot of breakdowns which led to breakthroughs, and there definitely was a common theme that most people were dealing with. And you know, a lot of people see the pictures online or on social media and they say, oh, you know, you're teaching them how to flirt and have fun and do makeovers. And yes, we do all those things. We even do salsa dancing. But what a lot of people don't realize is that we get deep. I mean, we, We definitely talk about just hidden kind of love shields and patterns that people have. And one of the like through lines with everybody was that they were all high achievers, especially this group. But I often work with high achievers and while it was serving them in one area of their life, like with business or managing the household, it left many of them feeling depleted and challenged when it comes to love and dating. And that was one of the things we really talked about. It's like, yeah, I can teach how to twirl the hair and make googly eyes with people, but unless you're really getting to the bottom of what is really blocking you, then you're not kind of looking at the whole picture. So, um, you know, like I said, most people I work with, we, we, they struggle with this. It's, it's something that's very common and especially with women. And, um, there was this one woman that I was working with recently and she was struggling with this and We started working on it and, and she was the one that always had like done everything and she achieved everything and she checked the boxes. And yet when it came to her love life, she was completely exhausted, disconnected, and frankly a little numb. And as we were digging deeper into what was beneath the surface, she was kind of like firing on all cylinders of achievement, but her heart, her energy, her emotional wellbeing had taken a backseat. And in fact, she never really. Like learn to pay attention to her emotions. She grew up in a very high achieving family where actually achievement was expressed as love. So she was on that constant quest to get that like successful feeling. And in her mind, that would be love. And you know, it was just even expressing emotions or what was going on in her body was really difficult. And because of all that, she was attracting, of course, disconnected and emotionally unavailable men. Well, We started working together, um, and I call this thing data dating, where she had to go on a bunch of dates, not in efforts to get a boyfriend, but to really practice expressing herself and seeing how men would react to her. And it was eye-opening to her. Like, she's never really focused on that before, because before she was just checking the boxes, vetting these guys so hard, making sure that they were the right one. But she never like really connected with her emotions. So instead of focusing on how do I get the next win, it was more like how do you align with how you want to feel, how you want to be, how you want to stay present, to just connect with people on first dates without worrying about the boyfriend or if he checks all the, the marks. So after dating up a storm, she paid attention to these things, and then she ended up meeting this amazing man. It was, it was actually surprising to her. I said, 'Okay, you're allowed to have the boyfriend now. You did your homework. You graduated from kindergarten. You're now in the PhD program.' And she just like was amazed because this guy was actually emotionally available. But that's because she was. And obviously like we all attract kind of who we are. We hear this term all the time, but there's so much more to that. And so today's conversation, I'm really excited about it. We're gonna prioritize— it's like how to prioritize alignment over achievement, like truly taking care of your emotions and how these practices forge the foundation for healthy boundaries, especially in the realm of dating and relationships. Obviously that's gonna be the focus, and I can't think of a better person to bring this discussion to life than my guest today, where we are going to explore how you can move from what I should do, cuz that's what a lot of high achievers think, to how do I wanna feel, how you honor your emotions, claim your space, enter the dating world, not just ready to perform, but ready to receive and connect. Connect with authenticity. And I'm gonna just throw in too, to have fun, because in that process it can feel really heavy. Anyway, let me tell you about my guest. She is awesome. I had the privilege of meeting her on Colorado and Company, a show in Denver, and we were like sisters. We even showed up dressed alike. It was crazy. So we definitely had a lot of alignment there. Um, she's a renowned expert in emotional healing, and women's empowerment, founder of the Unsilent Woman, speaker, coach, and author of her new book. It's so exciting. It's Coming Back to Life. She'll talk about that. And she has worked with thousands of women to reclaim their voice, their energy, and their truth. Her work centers around helping women break free from the carry-on-their-shoulders mindset, learn to hold boundaries without guilt, and open to deeper connection and intimacy. Welcome, Rebeccah Silence.

Hello.

Oh, I muted you by accident. I'm here.

You mute me, Kimmy. I'm on silent and so grateful to be here. We're about to have a blast.

I know.

Is everything, and it is not nearly as out of reach as your gorgeous audience may think or fear.

I know. It's so funny that your last name is Silence, by the way, because you're all about not having Yeah, that on purpose. Like, that is crazy.

You want to hear the story? Yes. My first husband's last name was Silence. So part of the crazy story is I am a trained therapist and master coach with multiple certifications. And when I first got started, I had worked at a state psych hospital and I had this thought, you know, most of these people are not crazy. They don't know how to navigate their emotions. So I decided I'm going to become an expert on human behavior, end up getting a master's in counseling, 4.0 GPA. Get pregnant, get married to this guy with the last name Silence. And I know all this stuff, and I find myself right smack dab back in the middle of the domestic violence I grew up in, because understanding patterns isn't enough to heal them.

Yeah. Wow.

So I get out of the marriage with a 2-year-old, and I realized, you know what, I am not gonna stay meek and silent and safe and small with all this understanding I'm going to reinvent myself. And I kept the name because I loved who I became.

Oh my God, that's so awesome.

That's the story.

That is the story. Well, wait, okay, so just to dig a little bit deeper.

Yeah.

It sounds like, oh, well, I did this and that and then here I am, kind of thing, because I'm sure it wasn't an easy road.

No, which is where the book comes in.

Yeah, yeah. Well, so tell me a little bit more about that. Like, I mean, were you a high achiever? And like, how did things like kind of shift for you? Like, tell me more about that.

Okay, so I was definitely a high achiever, and I was very successful on paper, even while I was married, you know, running a school counseling program in Denver in the inner-city gang schools, getting 95% of the seniors into 4-year colleges. You know, I, I was doing the Make the Impossible Possible. My first tagline was Make the Impossible Possible because I was all about, you know, the achievement and the achievement. So after that first marriage, I ended up training under coaches, learning some different things, figuring out how to actually break the generational trauma healing cycles and the love trauma cycles. Got married again, and now it's like dream come true, better than my wildest fantasies with my second marriage. And I was a media personality already back in my hometown. Crushing it, 6-month waitlist, selling every women's retreat out that I was doing. Get pregnant again and I got a cancer diagnosis. And if you want to know what graduated my ass from achievement paradigms to alignment, it was being pregnant with a 5% chance to live. And my older daughter at the time was 10, saying, great, I don't have a dad. And now you're gonna die. And achievement didn't matter, was irrelevant, went out the freaking window because all these labels and success metrics that I felt like were important— being a successful business owner, helping over 200 women start businesses in their community, helping countless families and companies reinvent— all these things I had done didn't matter. And I remember one coaching session with my coach Kimmy, because I'm a coach who always has a coach. Yeah, crying because I'm like, well, now I'm and, and I, I literally beat cancer with a 5% chance. 22 surgeries, drains coming out of me. And I'm saying to my coach, my husband and I, we're not gonna have sex for I don't even know how long, and I'm not sexy anymore, and I'm gross. And she's like, your job is to stay alive right now. Why are we worried about whether or not you're sexy? So even like when it came to sex and sexiness, like that achievement was still holding me hostage and had a chokehold on me. And because of cancer, I gotta tell everyone listening, I got nothing to prove. I got nothing but— wait a minute, what's going on with me? What's my highest self guiding me to? What's divine guidance guiding me to? I call it God. And that's what matters. And I'll tell you, from alignment, my success has been insane, and the achievement has been wild. Beyond measure compared to when I cared about the achievement over everything else.

Wow. Oh my gosh, Rebeccah Silence, that is— I mean, it's such an inspirational story. I want to— well, and you and I talked about this when we met that day, and because I think obviously we're both therapists, so we have that like understanding of how the past is connected to the future and the choices we make and the patterns that get created. Had, had you made the connection for yourself where your drive was to achieve?

Oh, so much. But what's interesting is before cancer, that was a value. And then during cancer, how am I feeling in my life and who am I being, first for me and then for the people in front of me? And what actions need to happen to support my alignment versus my achievement, it all just suddenly reprioritized itself, and what used to be important just wasn't anymore.

Yeah. Well, and you know, it also— it, it often takes something like a big event sometimes to catapult you into change, and I want to talk about that for a second. But I think that's really important, just like the connection. It's kind of like what I was saying in the beginning, like at least a lot of clients that I work with they grew up in a home where, where there was this sense of like, if you achieve a certain thing, then they'll get either the attention or the love. But it's this like kind of empty vessel almost, you know, there wasn't a sense of, you know, expression of the emotion and the feeling. And then that was enough. Was that similar to you? And is that what you find in a lot of people?

Oh my gosh, yes. And then I'm the coach, Kimmy, that says you don't need a breakdown to breakthrough. Okay, you can use breakdown to breakthrough, but why on earth do we let it get to that crisis level? And I think for so many of my clients— and I think there are so many synchronicities between your work and mine and the women we serve— but I think a lot of the times my clients just need to achieve to give themselves permission to take up space. But they wouldn't know that's what they're doing, but that's really what they're doing. And I can relate to that because I'm always client zero, right? Like, I need a reason to be allowed to be in this moment, in this relationship, in this room, on this TV show. That used to be what I thought, that my worth was related to the value I was bringing, not just because I'm breathing, just because I'm still here.

Yeah, right, right.

Because you're Rebeccah You know, you're all valuable just because you breathe, and so beautiful and so worthy. And that's the starting point. We don't have to try to get to our value or our worth, and achievement is never going to get you there.

No, no, it's, it's, it's— yeah, this is so good. And I wonder too, because obviously this is a dating show, like, so we're talking how it related to, to like the, the two men that you attracted, like when you were in one state versus another, like what was different?

Well, I've been proposed to 6 times.

You what?

6 times have I been proposed to. Oh, you did? Oh yeah, it wasn't— I just had 2 husbands. So I tell my husband now, I'm always like, you're my favorite husband because he never—

It's like he won.

He'd never been married before and he was never going to get married. My mother-in-law said, Rebeccah, what did you do to Mark? Like, I never thought I was going to have a daughter-in-law or grandchildren. And so I think there are a couple of differences. And I'll just break it down with how I teach it, with what I created called the Practice of Emotional Healing. So here's what I think happens. I think we all create, and it's completely unconscious and innocent, so no judgment. You don't get to use any of what I'm about to say as ammunition against yourself, okay? But we all have this survival self and survival personality that runs our lives, and we created this version of ourselves to survive the love trauma of our childhood. Right? We figured out there are certain emotions that are acceptable, certain that aren't. There are certain ways we have to be to fit in and survive this family. So many of us think our survival self is who we are, but we all have the survival self, and then we have the opportunity to design and create our healed self, our highest self. And I say it that way on purpose because you're not going to wake up one day and know who you are. You're gonna wake up one day and realize something's got to give, and I'm not feeling how I thought all of this achievement would have me feel. I see it all the time. We have the money, the house, the business, the bank account, the body, all of it, and it's still— I say I take successful women from high-functioning unhappiness to joyful fulfillment across every area of life, but that's because I help emotionally regulate and design our healed self.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Because you don't wake up and know who that is.

Right, right. And so, so with that, like, as you got more in alignment with like your emotions and everything, were the guys like completely different?

So like, as you were shifting, what I will say is my first husband, my survival self— so I teach there's two levels of attraction. Attraction 101 is your survival self attracting the wounds of your past, your love trauma that still hasn't healed. That's not your fault. And in so many instances, it's inherited, it's generational. You're just playing out what you saw. And then Attraction 2.0, which is how I attracted my second husband, is all of the work you've done to heal. Now you just attract your integrity. Yeah, you're just attracting who you are and how you're being and how you're showing up in the world, right? So everything you were saying in your intro, I'm sitting here nodding along like, yes, yes, yes. Like, you do the work and then you attract someone who's on that vibrational wavelength and a vibrational match for who you are now. And it just isn't real. So many of us, especially going into the holidays, we're just living our family dynamics from growing up out on repeat. And the same thing happens at work, even, not just romantically.

Oh, it shows up everywhere. Like I always say, what shows up in one area leaks into others. And it is— it's almost like passing the baton, right? It's like, at what point do you, do you take the baton and own it and say, like, I have the power to change things where I don't have to keep passing it, you know? And that's what I love about what you're saying and what, like, how I— we both believe in that, you know, that you can't change other people, you know, around you, all you can do is look at what you can do differently to, to see other people around you that might be. But here's the thing, and I just wondered if you went through this, and because I see this with my clients and even myself, like when, when the shift happens, then it— there's almost this like disbelief. Like even the story that I told in the beginning, she was going to self-sabotage. Like it didn't— it almost felt weird to her. There's like, there's no way that there could be a reciprocal type of, you know, relationship because the familiarity principle says, well, that's not something that the brain is familiar with. I'm used to somebody who leaves or who's emotionally unavailable, blah, blah, blah. So how do you work with that?

And oh my gosh, yes. So one thing I'll say just to normalize this is when you start to break up with survival, it will feel like you're dying, but you're not.

Yeah.

Okay. And I always talk about the first night I spent with Mark, my second husband, that was the scariest night of my life because I didn't know how to have a regulated nervous system and feel safe with an equal. And this is safe. And who knew you could have healthy and hot? You don't have to pick. That Sex Life Show, I'm like, oh no, right? Like it isn't one or the other.

I love that tagline, healthy and hot.

Right? Like, I want you to have a healthy, hot relationship. And I'm a relationship expert. Business Insider named me the top emotional health and relationship coach in the world in 2022 because I'm saying we have to lean in where we want to lean out and take responsibility for who we're being and how we're feeling so we get to have a new experience, right? But that first night with Mark, I literally felt like I'd rather stick needles in my eyes right now than stay. I wanted to run as far away as fast as I could, but I stayed and we talked about it. And he had done all this growth work too. And I just— I want to put this out there for all of you, because if you find yourself like, I don't know if I can trust this, I don't know if it's safe, I don't know if I can handle it, wanting to self-sabotage, that's totally normal. But this is, this is the carrot that I'll say to my clients, and that has made all the difference for me. I'm not gonna let my past or my pain or my abusers win. So I'm gonna have what I know is possible, even if I don't know if I deserve it. I know it's possible, and I'm gonna break the cycle because I see something better and more for me. So even if— so, so many of you are probably the generational healers in your family, but that's not pressure to make sure everybody else heals. It's your right to create and model. Here's a new possibility for all of us that no one else in the family has led, actualized. But if you see it for yourself, you can have it. And if you're scared and want to run, that's just because your survival self, that ego, is saying, hey, stay safe and small. This is all you get. But you can tell that little survival self to go take a timeout in the corner anytime you want. And let the healed highest you take over the moment. Way easier said than done, but possible. And I think if we can just breathe and stay and let our best be enough, that's the beginning.

Yeah, I was gonna say, like, are there any, like— because I'm all about, like, tangible tips, right?

Oh, I got you.

Like, how— and I, I'm sure we have similar ones, but I'm just wondering if there's ones that you teach that, like, if someone's listening right now and they're like, well, I know all this, but I just can't— like, what are some, like, 2 things they could do Yeah, well, let me just teach my Make Your Triggers Your Bitch process real quick. I was gonna ask you about that. Perfect.

Yeah, how about that? Okay, we're on the same wavelength. So I teach this process called Make Your Triggers Your Bitch because I want you owning your triggers, not your triggers owning you. And the triggers that show up romantically, just like Kimmy's saying, it's all going to affect your life everywhere. So the pattern repeats, the trigger repeats, The wound gets reopened over and over and over again, like Groundhog Day, and it'll just be like whack-a-mole, right, until you finally heal. And this is one of my greatest areas of expertise, is we get to the breakthrough, the root of the issue and the pattern. We heal it so we can interrupt it. So when you're making your trigger your bitch, the number one most important thing is we've got to make the trigger a gift, and not in a toxic positivity way. And what do I mean when I say trigger? It's the experience you're having that's upsetting and hurtful. So we gotta recognize something's off and name it. So maybe— here are some examples— it's abandonment, maybe it's betrayal, maybe it's disappointment, maybe it's guilt, shame, anxiety, depression, jealousy. I was just working with one of my top VIP clients this week around a jealousy breakthrough because she had just gone through a really devastating breakup after getting divorced a year ago and thinking she'd found her next husband. And he called it off. He didn't want the hot and healthy. He wanted superficial and dysfunctional and what he knew because we know how to survive that. So now she's extremely jealous. So we've got to go, okay, so we'll just use the jealousy as the example here, right? I'm jealous. That's a trigger. The trigger is an access point to the healing. And when I say healing, I define healing as freedom that isn't gonna come from understanding. It's gonna come from your heart is open again and you're able to love as much as you did before you got hurt. So step 1— there's 3 steps— I make your triggers your bitch process. We got to own it, we got to identify it, and we got to sit with it. So just sit with it. There's nothing to do yet. Okay, I'm jealous. So your triggers are running and ruining your life and your love life, and they'll get in the way and they'll have you unable to stay and get closer in the face of whatever it is. So we just own it, identify it, sit with it. The second thing is we feel into the stuck emotion underneath it. So I teach there's only 5 emotions. Everything else is learned. And our feelings about what's going on, very different. Our feelings about the external than our natural human gorgeous emotions. So I teach there's anger, fear, grief, joy, excitement.

Hmm.

Anger, fear, grief, joy, excitement. That's it. Everything else is learned. So the second step is I got to get to the emotion underneath it and just start to move with it, right? You've got to move it, move it. But it's not— we need some full-on gut-wrenching emotional release. Just connect to it, start to feel it, start to move it. And then the third step is you really got to recognize— this is super advanced, but you have a super brilliant audience, so I'm just gonna give it to you straight— your trigger has been a commitment. Nobody has commitment issues. We're committed to who we're being, what we're doing, and the experience we're having. So our triggers are safe. We know how to navigate them. I knew how to be abused and battered and broken down, and I can survive that. And I know I can survive that. I don't know I can survive beyond survival, but if you have survived survival, you can survive alignment. So I've got to go, okay, jealousy This has been my big trigger. Now what's the experience I want to have? Give that a name and make it a commitment. Even if the situation isn't changing, I can have a new experience. So with my client, we went from jealousy to confidence, meaning she's confident being herself and being even more of who she is than she thinks people can handle, instead of being jealous, which just gave her permission to be safe and small. So you own it, you feel the emotion underneath it, you make a new commitment because that trigger was a commitment and you didn't even know it.

Mm-hmm. Oh, I love that. And I think especially for like intellectual high achievers, it's something that they can chomp on, you know, like the way that you're saying it. And, and it's more simplified because I think It can get really overwhelming with, you know, when you see all these different emotions floating out there and when you just bring it down to those 5 and then get underneath it, I think it becomes way less, yeah, overwhelming for sure.

Yeah.

Because I find that, you know, a lot of, well, a lot of high achievers are left-brainers, so they're very analytical. And so they think about something rather than feel about something, you know? And so when you have them identify in the way that you're identifying it, then asking the questions as a follow-up. Well, how did the date feel? Versus, well, what did you think about the date? Like, it's such a, like, a very, like, small thing, but it's huge. Like, I had this client, I wish I had this process, um, to tell them about because that it was really— and it was a man and he was so cerebral about everything. Yeah. Well, how did the date go? And, and like, he would explain It was in facts. Everything was in like the fact, well, we did this, then we did that, we did this. I said, okay, that's great. And how did you feel about her? Well, yeah, I think it went well. Like, he couldn't access, right? And so, you know, no matter how you get to the emotion, I think it's so important because it's when you're in alignment with that, that's when the, the, the thoughts kind of disappear too, because now you're being in your body. So yeah, yeah, I, I love it because, well, I theater background, and I think you do. We were talking—

I do. I was in the Denver Opera Company.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know this, like, when you put a costume on and you act as if, then you become it eventually. And it kind of like your process, it almost like even if you put a name to yourself, a name, you know, like when you name it.

Yeah.

Think of like how you can embody it even visually, you know. And I think it could be a really cool thing for people.

So, and it isn't fake it till you make it. It's, wait, who do I need to be to have this dream of love, right? I specialize in comeback love stories that look different than how you grew up, but you have to decide who you need to be to have that experience. And I think one of the biggest blocks to love for people is they don't want to be witnessed in their vulnerability. But the practice of emotional healing This is the gift, okay? When you have a healthy relationship with anger, fear, grief, joy, and excitement— joy and excitement get to be the rule, not the exception.

Not the exception. Oh yeah.

And that gets to be your life, right? Because so many of you are just going on vacation to have some instant gratification experience of joy, or the date is, is some quick high. And no, no, no, real joy and excitement get to be the rule you live by, but you've got to be fully embracing all of your humanity if you want love the way you imagined it, and then letting yourself be witnessed. And I love your coaching to this client around, wait, we got to get beyond just what you're thinking about it and connect to how were you feeling. And if it's off, that's where you make that trigger your bitch. It isn't the other person that was the problem. They gave you access to a healing that has to happen for you to open up to the love at the next level. You deserve.

Yeah. And it's super uncomfortable when, when you're in that.

Oh my God, you'll feel like you're going to die.

Oh yeah. No, but you're not done. You have to be uncomfortable to change. You can't change in comfort. You can only change in discomfort. It really is true. Well, the last question I have, because I— could you explain a little bit more? I get what you're meaning by like the difference between achievement and alignment, like, because I think that's really important. Important for people to hear.

Yeah, so I think when we make our success metric the achievement on paper and then wonder why we don't feel better or different, right? It's, it's the reason why you don't feel better or different, because you were focusing on this external milestone is going to validate me and make me enough. And when you're in alignment with your own soul, right? I did beat cancer with a 5% chance just living the practice of emotional healing. And what happened was it made me such a clear channel that I could hear my own guidance.

Hmm.

I could hear divine guidance and God. And then that allowed me— part of what I teach is all you ever need is one next step. You don't need to get ahead of yourself, right? So from alignment, I'm clear, and then I get access to the next step, and then the next one, and the next one. And I'm resting in joy and excitement as the rule I'm living by, and my heart is open to giving and receiving love. And I think that's the only goal. I think when we're asked, what do you want to be when you grow up? We're all liars because the answer is love. And who admits that, right? And how do you let yourself give and receive the love you are, which is the point, if you're just focused on achievement? We've got to be in alignment so that we're emotionally clear, and from there we're attracting more people that care about being emotionally clear too. And then it's safe to keep our heart open, and then we can both give and receive love and I think that's the point, and I think that's all there is. And achievement is gonna block you from being able to feel it all and trust yourself and love. Alignment is you living your life on your own terms, being the love you are, letting your best be enough. And that, I think, is a way to live that's amazing.

So good. Oh my gosh, we could go on and on forever. I know.

Oh yes.

But you know, I— what I want to just button it up and then I want to hear your last words is that when you do all this too, you said such an important word, and that is receiving. I think as women, it is so— that is so depleted, especially now where women are getting just stronger in the workforce and we are in that achievement energy. To me, femininity is about receiving and being in the flow and leaning back, not moving forward. And when you are in an alignment with your emotions, you also like just exude more of that feminine energy, which I think is so crucial for women, you know. And so again, that could be almost like a spinoff episode of something else, right? Yeah. I just want to mention that because it's super important for high-achieving women. So Rebeccah, anyway, any last words of wisdom? And please, like, share where we can find your book and all that.

Yeah, well, I just feel like I want to add to everything we've already said. You know, I really believe the things that you think make you the least lovable make you the most lovable. And so where you're judging yourself and you're afraid, if anybody knew this about me, nobody would want me— I am a case in point example growing up an incest survivor in domestic violence, then my first marriage Nobody knew how bad it was. I thought, I thought I was this great actress and nobody knew. Then I told my book club what was going on and that I had to leave. None of them were surprised. And when all of the truth came out, wow, I'm still loved, right? So I'm not saying— Kimmy talked about boundaries in the opening— you have to tell everybody about your deepest, darkest secrets. But when it comes to love, your partner deserves to know who the hell they're actually with. And so when you're afraid if anybody would find out and holding back the truth of who you are, you can't receive love and you want to receive love and give love and you've been through enough and it's safe to receive the good stuff. And when you open up to receiving, it doesn't going to mean it's all of the terrible again. It's going to mean you're giving yourself a shot at receiving the next level. So you can find me at theunsilentwoman.com. There's free gifts there. I have a retreat coming up in early 2026. Thanks. But I would definitely say everybody's next step, if you feel called to take what I'm saying any further, is get Coming Back to Life, because it will help you find your answers and use your own story and your love trauma to your advantage. Every trauma you've been through is just heartbreak that can heal and be used to your advantage, and that's a promise.

I love it. Rebeccah, thank you so much.

This was my pleasure.

Thank you. And I'm sure I'll see you again in Denver.

Yes, I can't wait. And thank for this show and for the beautiful work you're doing and helping people find their dream come true love story, because I just think it is everything. And it's okay to admit and own, this is the most important thing to me. The only job from there is to let yourself have it.

Yeah, so true. Amen. Thank you so, so much. And thank you for joining me today, you listening. This has been the Charisma Quotient. I'm your host, of course, Kimmie Seltzer. And remember, you can build confidence, make connections, and find love from the outside in. And if you want to know more, go to my site, as always, Kimmieseltzer.com. And if you're having a hard time accessing your emotions and it's causing this kind of disconnection in your relationships and dating experiences, obviously pick up Rebeccah Silence's book, reach out to her, or you can book a call with me. Just click the link that you see in the show notes. And I do give the private calls. It is me. It's not my assistant or a bot, as people have been asking me about. It is It is me, but we'll uncover what's holding you back and create a plan to help you. And remember, working on you is working on your dating life. That's all for now.