Empowering Business with Heart: Insights on Integrative Marketing

Okay, we're going.

Okay. Three, two, one. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Healing is possible experience. I'm Rebecca Silence science, self healing and relationship expert. And this show is here for you as a vehicle to help you set yourself free. I don't believe there's a right or a wrong way to live or lead or love, but what I know is there's a right way for you. And every week on this show, we get you closer to being able to access that right for you. Breakthrough moment, realization or insight. And today is a super special episode. I am bringing in dear friend Jim Steuer to the conversation to talk about how to connect our brilliant minds to our heart and how to access what really is important to us and why. As cliche as that is, this is a conversation unlike any you've heard before. For sure. Our angle on talking about your why today, you haven't heard before. Buckle up, get ready, take notes. And with that being said, welcome, Jim, to the show.

Thanks, Rebecca. I'm really excited to be here. And that was a great introduction. Great job of energy and passion. Thank you very much.

Oh, my goodness. And you and I, it feels like we've known each other multiple lifetimes, at least from my perspective. But we really do share the same energy and passion, especially when it comes to how important it is to be connected to our hearts and to lead our from the heart. So tell us a little bit about who you are and why the heart is so important to you.

Well, I have about 30 years experience in marketing and branding, so I understand the technical aspects of what you have to do. And I think, Rebecca, I've learned that what really makes people unique is their heart. All of us have very similar thought processes, and they're smarter people than me, but I don't think anybody cares the way I care. And I probably would say that's true for you, too. And when you look at people and evaluate people, I always do it from the inside out. And when I do it from the inside out, I kind of learn what's making them tick and why they do what they do.

Yeah. And I want to talk a little bit more about what you mean by the inside out. But first, I really want to emphasize and reiterate this point you're making, because everyone out there, everyone watching, nobody cares like you. And it's not a hierarchy or, you know, we're trying to be superior or better. It's the more you care your way, the more you're part of healing the collective. And no one cares like you. And we need you caring with the volume turned all the way up now more than ever. So with that being said, Jim, talk more about what you mean by the inside out.

So when I meet somebody, I kind of talk to them from a historical. Historical perspective. Easy for you to say. And what you do is you kind of ask questions about how they were brought up, what influenced them, how did their parents engage with them. And it begins to start telling a story. And then what I do as I move into the present and I talk to them, where are you? Where do you want to go? What are your dreams? What are your goals? And then that starts creating a picture. And then I start talking to them. What is your vision for the future? So if you put the past with the present with the future, you've kind of got a complete picture of what the person is. But more important, why they want to be who they are.

And why is that familial programming early on so important?

Well, I think it's a great question, Rebecca. I've always found out that people are creatures of habit. A lot of times you might rebel against something that you learned, but even the rebellion of something you've learned tells a picture about yourself. And the more clear you can make that picture, the better you feel that you understand that person. And at the end of the day, I believe everything we do, whether it's with family, friends, or clients, it's about relationships. And the deeper you can get into that relationship, the better you understand the person. The better you understand the person, the greater trust you have.

Yeah. And I believe that that early programming with our family of origin, I typically work with the generational healers in the family. That's what I call them. It's the person that grew up in the family knowing man things could be better. And they had this vision and they imagined what it could be. And I think there's so much that works about every single one of our childhoods that gives us access not just to the generational healing that's possible in our family system, but also access to the truth of our heart and what we saw that was missing, that we knew was needed in our family, but even more than that, it's needed in the world.

That's a great way of putting it. You're looking at even more macro than I was talking about it, because I kind of break everything down to individual by individual and then build it up to the world you described. I think you did a much better job of describing the macro as opposed to my description of the micro. But at the End of the day, I think, yeah, I think when you care about people, it comes across. And I've always found that when you care about people, more people are likely to listen to you. And that goes to something else that I firmly believe in is that whole quality of optimism. And I think it's something else we share, which is people are basically good. We just sometimes have to dig deeper to find it. But once you've found it, people kind of gravitate towards you and they want to be with you. And I've always found when people want to be with me, that positive energy you described at the beginning, it's kind of synergistic. It really makes me and you better than me. And you and I enjoy that camaraderie and integration of people together.

Yeah, well. And I think our heart is the way people know that we care. Right. And the more open our heart is and the more, and this is just my take, I'd love to know what you think about this, Jim, but the more we don't need them to care and we just keep our heart open fully. And this is just who I am and what I do. And I know I'm going to be a magnet for the right aligned people in my life for me to help grow, but also for them to help me grow. The second I think we drop the neediness, and I do think that starts growing up in our family of origin, we needed our families to get our heart. And if we think that we got misunderstood or they don't, we can mistakenly believe the world's not going to care about our heart because we think our family didn't care about our heart, but our family did care to the best of their ability. And the world cares. And the more you don't need anyone to get it, the more healed you are, the more you can care and serve to the right people. In my experience, and that's a great.

Description, I might even add, I think both of us share the concept of we're always trying to get better. And I think from a business perspective and even a personal perspective, growth is a very important component of what you're describing. As long as you're open to continually trying to get better, the impact you can have on people is manifested in your openness to trying to learn. So the way you described it, which is you almost have to be open to any situation you get into. And as long as you're open, you have a tendency to learn. I think it's when you become like, you use the apt word, needy, you Might not be as open because then you're probably just looking at things from your personal perspective. And something I think you and I share is we're always looking at the bigger picture. And that bigger picture usually creates a better understanding, understanding for us. But the truth of the matter is it probably creates a better understanding for the people we come into contact with as well.

Yeah. And when you're talking about understanding, be even more specific. Understanding about what I think, understanding about.

What matters to them, Understanding of what's important to them, Understanding of how to make a difference in their lives. I know with people I deal with, a lot of people always approach things in their head. And I've always found when you approach things in your head, you're missing a integral component of what makes a difference, and that's their heart. And, you know, females are better in my mind at connecting their heart with what they believe in. And that's where passion plays a huge role. I believe when you really care, you get wholeheartedly engaged in what you do and that makes everything better.

So let's talk about this. Right? Because it is a journey from the head to the heart. And the way I teach it is, you know, there's so much mindset and strategy work out there. Right. But the mindset work. It's not enough to change the experience of life you're having. Right. And I think heart centered leadership creates a next level experience for every life it touches. And we have to start as leaders wanting to change the world from our heart with being unapologetically connected to our own. So do you have any methods or processes or tips on how we can connect to the head to the heart? Because again, I don't think it's enough to conceptually understand or to be leading from our brilliant mind because we can't be felt from our mind. And we're limited in our ability to connect and relate to other people when we're just stuck in our head. So how do we close that gap? How do we get there?

Great question. And I'm going to pick that word you just picked, connect. I think the whole key is you've got to connect so you understand mentally what's going on. You have a very good idea of what's happening. And most people, when they talk, they say, I think the biggest dramatic shift, Rebecca, that I think makes a difference is start saying I feel. Because right then when you use the word I feel, you've eliminated the I think part and you've given somebody else a chance to see what's inside. Of you. The truth of the matter is, and I think you said it, there's some people we can't help. But I believe when you put your heart out there and you show somebody you care, those people that are on the fence, they gravitate towards you. So those are the two tips I would give is, you know what, start saying I feel. And when you connect with somebody, it's kind of like when you and I first met. We used to, we talked about our feelings and you know what, that formed a bond that endured. Whatever else came from our, from our heads or our thought process, I believe if you start there, you've created a connection. And then when you go deeper and say I feel something about the other person, not just what you feel about yourself, you've created an integration. So therefore you guys almost become connected as opposed to two separate pieces. So those are my two thoughts.

Well, I think that's great. And you're right, our initial meeting, we were sharing our hearts with each other and our feelings about what we were learning and where we wanted to take our lives in the future. And you brought up earlier this idea of past, present and future. And I just want to say to all of you, how you felt in the past and even how you feel now does not determine how you're going to feel in the future. And I think we can also close the gap between the head and the heart by really meditating on and getting silent and still with ourselves, thinking about and feeling into how do I want to feel in my future? How do I want to feel as the rule versus the exception? I think so many, especially leaders, have lost themselves in the name of leadership and they've lost that feeling of being fully alive and connected to the truth of who they are and their hearts. And if you can work backwards, if you can go, how do I want to feel? And how can I in this moment get closer to that feeling? And how can I use my past as a catalyst to give me permission to feel how I want to feel? It's not about changing the external. It's not about reaching more people, being understood by more people. And it's certainly not about external validation. I think the most powerful leadership is heart centered and you experiencing the best of you and the best of life, feeling how you want to feel even if nothing around yours changed yet, even if you have zero people watching your video or following your content or wanting to participate in what you're offering right now, the more you feel how you want to feel and double down on that as the Rule versus the exception. I think the more impactful you're going to be.

That's a great point. And I think what you're saying, Rebecca, is kind of what I do with people is, you know what, the personal and the business, they kind of integrate. And I think about this.

Yes, yes, yes.

So I'm picking up on what you just said. I think so many people think, you know what, I'm a business person and I'm a personal person. Well, guess what? If you can merge those two things together, you become a total person. And when you separate them, you're creating a gap between your life and the reality is you want synergy, you want connection, you want growth. Well, guess what? If my business and my personal are together, it works so much more quickly. And truthfully, I think at the end of the day you're happier because when you get home and you have to be a different person than you were at work, you almost need a break and go, okay, I've got to change my clothes, I've got to change my look, I've got to change my feelings. Well, guess what? If they're the same, you're just building on where you've been as opposed to recreating or restarting where you're going to be next.

I don't think that's so good. Absolutely. And I think it is about breaking up with compartmentalization, especially when it comes to your life. I want you all to consider you as a heart centered leader, letting your heart guide you. It's not going to make you overly emotional or irrational. It's going to allow you to just lead from a place of this is who I am and what I do. And it doesn't change regardless of where I find myself. You know, and I'm someone who. And, and Jim's. We were just talking before we hit record. He's seen me in many different ways. Many different, you know, looks, situations. Would you say States. States.

Right, right.

And I'm me wherever I go. However I look, whatever's going on, I'm still me. This is who I am and what I do. And I want to give you all permission to let your heart and your ability to connect to your heart and lead you first from your heart, so then you can lead whatever lives are in front of you from your heart. This is, I think, a transformational journey worth taking and a process worth putting yourself on. You get to be who you are wherever you go. And we need more of who you are as the you you really are wherever you go. And I don't think we wake up one day and find ourselves. I think we wake up one day and we recognize, wait a minute. This version of me that I created to survive, it's not who I am. And how do you know it's not who you are? You're stressed and you're suffering. So that day you realize, wait a minute, I'm not happy. This isn't who I am. You get to decide who you want to be. And I think using this question of how do I want to feel as your North Star as your compass is a great beginning to deciding who you actually want to be. What are your thoughts on this, Jim?

It's great. You know, Rebecca, you did a great job of summarizing what we've been talking about, so that's really well done. I think the other side of this, it does play a role in what we're discussing, is I think there are a lot of people that, if you will, or individuals we get involved in or we talk to, and I believe a lot of those people, when they start marketing their products or marketing their brand, they kind of separate their personality. So again, you want to integrate who you are with what you want to be, with the perception. You want the people you come into contact to understand. And I. I think that alignment is very, very critical, which is something you really stressed when you're talking about a person that wants to metamorphosize or regenerate themselves. I think an awful lot of people, again, separate, and I think finding yourself is a great discovery, but being authentic with that finding is even more impactful. And then again, when you have it in your messaging that you put out on the marketplace when people meet you, and it's kind of like every time I see Rebecca, I know what I'm going to get. There's a level of comfort that comes from that. And it's kind of like you create a lovability. I mean, it's another one of my favorite words. You want people to love you. That doesn't mean they're married to you or something like that, but it means their heart is connected with your heart. And I believe, as you aptly stated, Rebecca, when you're authentic and when you're in alignment, you become lovable. And I think each one of us are lovable in our own way. I think that discovery is very important. And then since I believe in marketing a lot, which is getting that out there to people, I think it's important that integration comes in your communication externally to your customers and your target.

Market, Absolutely. And this word love, it's massive. And I literally do fall in love with every life I touch. When I say to you my beautiful healing is possible, Family, I couldn't love you anymore if I tried. My God do I mean it. And so, leaders, don't be afraid to bring your heart and your ability and massive capacity to care and love. Don't be afraid to bring that to the table more and more and more. And for that to be your starting place, your ability to love is part of healing the collective. But we've got to give ourselves as leaders all the love we hope our audiences are going to give to us and to the world so we don't need it from them. I think that's so important.

That's great, you know, and it's really good. Rebecca, you do a great job of summarizing, do a great job of leading.

I've been doing this a year or two, Jim.

Well, you know, it's funny. It's kind of like you aptly stated, it's like two friends talking and having fun talking about it. And I hope the audience understands how much we're enjoying sharing our wisdom, if you will, and the experiences we've had. And I think the key is you talk about giving permission. I think it's almost like you have to have an internal belief that what you do matters. But just as important beside it matters, it has impact. And I think one of the words that are really becoming more to the forefront today is impact. I think more people want to impact other people's lives. And as you stated, it's great that you impact their lives, but you want to impact them with your heart, because ultimately, that is the ultimate impact you can have in another person is, you know what? You make them feel good. And when you make somebody feel good, they don't see their limitations, they see their potential. And there's something that I learned in the last couple of weeks that I really think applies here. Rebecca. The thing that is most powerful, even more powerful than love, is the ability to communicate. I believe in you. And it's funny, you and I talked about this relative to both our businesses. I think we both believe in each other, and I think that really created a connection or a solid foundation for us to really become closer as people, as business people, and as people that impact other people's lives.

Oh, I love that. That's so beautifully said. And I just want to caution you when Jim is saying we do have the power to make sure people know we believe in them and we do have the power to make people understand, in terms of our authentic expression of our hearts, who we are and when we're being fully who we are. Leading from our heart, there is an energy we bring to the table that elevates the vibration and changes the energy in the room. But don't think it's your job to codependently get people to a place. Jim said it earlier, and I couldn't agree more. We can't help everyone, and it's certainly not our job to fix anyone. And we'll. We'll change how someone feels just by being who we are, when they're someone who's meant to resonate with who we are. But we don't be upset if you couldn't get someone to feel how you wanted them to feel or how you thought they should feel, because they have to do the work. You bring that energy. Or, as one of our mentors that Jim and I share, Brendan Burchard says, bring the joy and then how they feel, that's their business. But how you showed up what you were bringing that you have control over. Just don't be defeated as a leader if you don't feel like you're landing it the way you wanted to. Because if you've done all of what we're talking about today, led from the heart, kept your heart open, believed in them, saw the best in them, spoken to the best in them, the rest isn't up to you.

And, you know, it's a great way of looking at it. Rebecca. I look at it almost when I deal with my children. It's kind of like they don't always agree with what I'm saying, giving myself the benefit of the doubt. Most of the time they don't agree with what I say. But the matter is, we're laying groundwork that eventually they will get it. And I think what we're both saying is, you know what? This is a journey. This isn't a beginning and an end. It's a journey. And both of us aspire for growth. I think, as Ed Mylett said, it's like plus one. We're going to give you what we got. We're going to try to inspire you to be better, to grow, to see better, to be more optimistic. But guess what? All that takes time. You can't change whatever you've been through or whoever you are, automatically. You can't flick a switch. But what we can do is provide inspiration. And as you said, and as I said, we can create belief that you can be, and eventually you will be. It's a question of when, not if.

Yeah. And don't think it's your job to get anyone anywhere. Your number one client that you're working with is you 100% of the time. And for me, 2023 was the year of like Rebecca, your client number one, over and over and over. And I think we want as leaders to shut our hearts down too soon. Too often when it feels like externally things just aren't working and those are the moments to keep your heart open even more and, and to go back to okay, how do I want to feel and work backwards from that and just keep showing up because it's who you are and what you do not because you're trying to manipulate some outcome.

And therein lies perfect way stated a vision. And you said it earlier, you've got to know to some degree where you're going. And I think that's why when you put the pieces together from the past to the present and you look forward, what do you want to feel? What do you want to be? You know, and you mentioned 2023 is an area where you got to group, you grow, you learn more, you understood yourself but more importantly you put yourself number one. I will guarantee you, Rebecca, you've thought about 2024 and you have goals, you have, you have aspirations. Okay, you know what? And I'm betting that's the other thing that I think is important that we're both stating and maybe we haven't seen stated it directly. You need somebody else in your life to make a difference. A lot of what we're talking about and some of this self realization we've done. But the truth of the matter is and Rebecca talked about what we talked about before we started, we gain knowledge from dealing with each other. Everybody needs somebody else that they can share that knowledge with and if nothing else, bounce ideas off and learn and grow. You can't do it by yourself.

Yeah. And relationship really is about your soul's evolution, your growth from the inside out. Well, we'll go back to that term. It is easy to be the best of us when we're alone. It is a challenge to be the best of us. Especially when we're in a relationship that's in a breakdown or conflict. But do it anyway and let those you lead watch.

Jim.

This has been such a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful conversation. I want to invite you all to my brand new reclaim and rediscover you five day challenge for a very limited time. It's only $47. It is five steps, five days, 15 minutes a day. I'm gonna help you heal and lead and sell yourself free fast over the course of five days. Go to rebeccasilence.com for more information on this challenge. But if this conversation has switched, sparked something in you and you're thinking, all right, I want to be more of the truth of who I am leading from my heart. Take the reclaim and rediscover you challenge. With that being said, Jim, how do they get in touch with you and what should they get in touch with you for?

Well, I think a great question. Thank you very much, Rebecca. I appreciate the opportunity of talking to you and it is enjoyable. I think the whole concept of synergy is really important and that's something we share. So many times when you talk to people, you're almost tired when you're done. I feel energized as a result of talking to you.

I love that.

My website, Jim, @thinkheartstrategy.com I send out newsletters every month. I'd be more than happy to add you to my mailing list. The type of person that I'm looking for is somebody that wants to grow and get better and they want to lead with their heart. What I do is I try to uncover your why. When I've uncovered your why, I then merge it into your mind and heart. That increases your impact and increases your ability to grow. But more importantly, you do it in your own personal, unique way. So my customer, especially with this target audience, is female entrepreneurs. And it's not just entrepreneurs that started their own company. It's people that think like an entrepreneur and feel like an entrepreneur. It doesn't have to have the name that I started a business, but they have to be entrepreneurial hearted in their approach to people.

Love it.

Appreciate this time, Rebecca.

Oh, my gosh. So good. Give us your final thoughts, Jim.

I think my final thoughts are we can all be whatever we want to be and don't limit your thinking to just yourself. Look around, be inspired, be engaged, learn from others. Every time you learn something from somebody else, it makes you better. And I'll finish with I believe in you. And whether it's Rebecca, whether it's Jim or whether it's somebody else, we want to make a difference in your life and make your life better.

Oh, I love that, Jim. And I mean it when I say I love you. Thank you for being here. And listen, everyone, my why is I want kids to have healed parents. And the beginning of that was I wanted my kids to have a healed parent mother that they could be proud of. Don't be afraid, as Jim is saying, to find your why when it comes to why should I be a heart centered leader? Almost no one is why should I figure out what that means to you? Journal on it. That's your homework. The world needs you healed, making your biggest difference. Thank you for tuning into the Healing is possible experience. Please subscribe to the Rebecca Silence YouTube channel. Hit that notification bell. Share this episode with anyone you know and love that you believe would benefit. I'll see you@rebeccasilens.com love you all. Thank you for being here today.

Bye Bye.