Radio/YouTube Mental Wellness Wednesday segment (host + life coach Rebeccah Silence) about feeling stuck—living day-to-day or ‘‘on a hamster wheel.’' Rebeccah gives three core suggestions: notice and change expectations (we create evidence for what we expect), shift focus toward what you want rather than what you don't, and take responsibility by choosing how you want to feel. She emphasizes small incremental change ("it's like 5%"), recommends daily mirror work ("my life is working"), and points listeners to her Emotional Survival Kit course and an upcoming book (Coming Back to Life, dropping in October).
Because we get more of what we expect, we can only prove what we believe to be true. Meaning whatever you believe, whether it's, oh my God, it's just another day in the hamster wheel or it's Groundhog Day all over again, or I don't get to have better or more than this. Whatever your beliefs are, we create evidence to support whatever we expect, we create more proof of as well.
Mix 102.5. The best mix from the 90s to now. Big Papa in the afternoon. It is a mental wellness Wednesday. Life coach rebecca silence online rebeccasilence.com that's where you'll find the emotional survival kit. Also, new book coming out coming Back to life will drop in October. Rebecca, how are you?
I am very well. It's in the hundreds out here in Colorado. Nice and hot and spicy and it's already summer.
Yeah, you can enjoy that. I was, I was built for comfort, not for heat. So, yeah, the air conditioning is, is, is all me right now. What I'd like to talk to you about today is people that feel like they're a hamster in the wheel, like they're, they're living day to day, paycheck to paycheck. Every time they get ahead, something happens and they end up right back in the same spot. Let's talk about feeling like nothing changes, not getting ahead.
Okay. That is so real for so many people. You're not alone if this feels like it's you and it doesn't have to be this way, like not even at all. So. Okay, just got first three things I would suggest to people are, number one, consider whether or not you're expected. Expecting Groundhog Day to continue to repeat itself because we get more of what we expect, we can only prove what we believe to be true. Meaning whatever you believe, whether it's, oh my God, it's just another day in the hamster wheel or it's Groundhog Day all over again, or I don't get to have better or more than this. Whatever your beliefs are, we create evidence to support. Whatever we expect, we create more proof of as well. So if your expectation is this is how it is, we need to catch that and nip it right away. The second thing is, and I say this a lot, but let me say it in this context as well. Pay attention to what you're focused on. Is it what you're wanting or is it what you don't want? So noticing what you're expecting, noticing what you're believing, and noticing that your focus is only 100% of the time, either going in the direction of what you're wanting or in the direction of what you don't want can start to give you this sense of self responsibility that gives you control over your life again. Ok, and the third piece is let's know that we do not have to be at the effect of life. We're not here to blow in the wind. We're not here to have life happening to us. So just know, no, your life isn't happening to you. You do have choice. And if you wouldn't want another day in the hamster wheel, do you even know what you want instead? Or do you just know what isn't working or isn't feeling great? And then you don't have to get too overwhelmed? I think so often people, when they're sick and tired of the way they've been living, they want to light a match and blow it all up. Do not do that, okay? Do not do that, please.
There are so many times that just me personally, so many times that I had the lighter fluid and the Zippo lighter ready.
Oh my gosh. Yes. And it never works like you've already got cleanup to do in a sense that there are certain ways that you're living that aren't working. They're not clean, they're not inspiring. You don't need to blow it all up to give yourself even more of a mess to, you know, give you permission. I think what, what happens is people think they need a crisis or they think they need to blow it all up and start all the way over. No, you don't. I guarantee it's like 5% of how you're living that actually is what has, has you feeling like you're in the hamster wheel. It's like 5%. So know that we don't have to blow it all up.
So we're talking about feeling like you're stuck living day to day, having the hamster wheel. And the first thing that you said was mindset. Is that what you're expecting? And if so if somebody's listening right now and they normally they're just expecting, okay, just another day. You know, it's. What's the. Another glorious day? You know, how's it going? Another day in paradise that you know that kind of a thing. And if you have that mindset, how do you get out of that mindset?
Well, and it's, it's bigger than mindset and it does start there. But you've got to believe and expect that your life is going to Feel better and that your life gets to work for you. If you're ever going to prove that right, and it isn't once, you know, XYZ pops, or once this person is just no longer a part of my life, or once I finally have the money or the weight or whatever, then my life gets to start working for me. If your life doesn't feel like it's working now, no result, no change in circumstance will have you believing and expecting that your life works for you. So I literally want you to look in a mirror today and I want you to say out loud, my life is working. And then if you need to do that every day for the next 30 days, do it. But no, if your focus is on my life isn't working, you only prove that right. If your expectation is, I don't get to have these things that I want or this experience of life that I want, you get to have that. So when I'm saying with part three, your life isn't happening to you, I am wanting you to take control over your life by absolutely identifying not just what you want in terms of results, but how do you want to feel? How do you want to feel going about your day? How do you want to feel about your life? How do you want to feel when you're going to bed at night? And it can be as simple as peace or proud of yourself or excited about the day you had and excited about the next day. And I'm not talking about toxic positivity. I'm talking about, this is all possible for you. And then at the same time, do you know what you want to do with the second half of your year? We're well into the second half of 2022. Do you have any idea of what you want to create, of what you want to do with your time and your life?
I want to make it. I want to make it to the end. There's so many people right now with. That's their answer. I just want to make it.
Yeah, good luck. Feeling good with that expectation that the only thing I expect is that I'm going to make it through. I'm going to survive my way through the year. This is exactly why I created the Emotional Survival Kit course, right? For those moments, those seasons of life where it's just surviving. I am here to tell you it doesn't have to be that way and that you are the healer, you are the leader that is going to get yourself out of the woods. And I get that we can feel stuck in a hamster wheel and it is painful and it is stressful and it is just like, can we get get to the end of the year or can we get to the end of the week or can we get to the end of the marriage, even? Right? But the thing is, life is happening now. And you can make it happen in a way that feels good for you. No matter what has been happening previous to now, your life will change in a moment. The pain starts in a moment. The survival mode starts in a moment. The freedom starts in a moment. And I am guaranteeing that if you take the time to take the Emotional Survival Kit class, you will not be in survival anymore and well on your way to designing your life the way you want it. But at the very least, notice your expectations, notice where your focus is going, and decide that you're in the driver's seat of your life and look in a mirror and say out loud, my life is working.
The Emotional Survival Kit. I'm sorry I missed that last thing. What'd you say?
I said, and do that over and over again.
The Emotional Survival Kit is available right now at rebeccasilence. Com. It's a mental Wellness Wednesday. Rebecca, great stuff as always. We'll talk to you next week.
