Finding Calm in Chaos 2 with Rebeccah Silence

7 PM, and I have Rebeccah Silence, and I'm going to do an introduction to her. Not going to be very long because I want to absorb as much as we can from her a second time around. Rebeccah Silence is recognized as a powerhouse in emotional health and transformation. She has redefined resilience and healing in the modern era. As a self-healing and relationship expert. Her innovative approaches and transformative methodologies have earned her accolades from Redex Magazine and Business Insider all the way back in 2022. She has a career spanning over 2 decades, and she has honed and sharpened her skills in the crucibles of psychiatric hospitals and school counseling. She's a visionary founder of Inspired Results, LLC, and the creative force behind the award-winning book Coming Back to Life. And her groundbreaking Emotional Survival Kit online course has afforded her the ability to charter new territories in personal and familial empowerment. There's a whole lot more, but I'm not going to take up any more time with the introduction. So friends and loved ones, please just welcome— here we go, Rebeccah Silence, she's live. How are you, Rebeccah?

Andy, I'm so happy to be here.

I know, I know, I can see it, I can feel it.

Hello everyone.

All right, yes, we're gonna have some good fun and we're gonna have some really Fantastic, beautiful, engaging, informative, inspirational, transformational nuggets. So Bernadine S. Wood says, "Good night everyone. Matthew 28:19. Love the topic." You're gonna love it even more when you begin to engage in Rebeccah's— you know what I like the most about Rebeccah? When she comes on this show, she strips everything away. All the layers are gone. And she just gives you her soul. I like that so much. Rebeccah, thank you so much for being with us. I want you to tell the people, the audience, and for those who would see this later on, what is the one defining moment in your life that helped you to realize you needed to do a paradigm shift and come out of a place of uncertainty into a place of recognition and hope? I know you have many, but there must be one that really stands out. Among all.

Yeah, there is, Andy. So for those of you that are meeting me for the first time, I am the space where all healing is possible. And I couldn't agree more with what Andy said prior to bringing me on. Our spiritual health and our ability to stay connected to the highest and best version of ourselves and God in any and all moments, it's a 24/7, 365 25-day-a-year opportunity, not responsibility, but an opportunity. And I think the world needs us healed so we can make our most healed difference. So many healers are out there trying to achieve and trying to heal other people for a sense of finding their own value and worth. And for me, the moment was this. I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 34 and pregnant, and I was working with a plastic surgeon and his wife in my coaching practice. I'm a relationship expert, the world's leading love coach, and I'm working with this couple and helping them with their marriage. And they look at me and they say, you saved our marriage and you've saved our family, and that thing on your arm isn't okay. We need to help you. You've done so much for us. Let us help you. Come to the clinic at 7 a.m. tomorrow and let us take this mole off your arm. So long story short, there's no history of cancer in my family. Heart disease? Yes. Mental illness? All day. Addiction? Uh-huh. Cancer? No. So I don't tan. I am obviously very white. No history of melanoma in my family. What ended up happening is I was at 7 months pregnant, diagnosed with malignant melanoma, and it ended up being the most aggressive kind. And I was only given a 5% chance to live. So fast forward to the moment where I realized, okay, I'm only given a 5% chance to live here. I recognized in that moment that my priorities had been really messed up. I was so focused on pre-cancer achievement And this moment gave me the opportunity to elevate my priority from achievement to alignment with my truest, highest, most healed self in God. And I remember hearing God's voice saying to me, okay, Rebeccah, it's easy to be the best of you when everything is going your way. I had beat so many odds already, and my childhood trauma I had healed, and I had done so much, and I had made such a difference. But everything was going my way. I'm in an amazing second marriage. I'm pregnant. I'm thriving as a business owner and serving my community in ways I had only dreamed of being able to serve. And I just heard God's voice say to me, who are you going to be now, Rebeccah Silence? It's easy to be your best when everything's going your way. Who are you going to be now? And that moment I made a decision to commit to living like I was going to live. And to recognizing my value isn't about how much I achieve. It's about how connected I am to God and how equipped and willing I am to serve God through me in this one precious life. So that was my moment.

That was amazing, guys. You see what I'm talking about? She just peels the layers back and bears everything and tells it like it is. Thank you so much, Rebeccah Silence. Here's the thing that I want us to get to. In that moment, what was your emotional condition like? And can you remember how you actually felt somewhere deep on the inside? And what message did it send to your brain so that you realized you had to rewire the way of thinking?

Well, for me, it isn't about thinking or mindset. So I'll just be a little bit controversial here. I'm a trained therapist and a master coach with multiple certifications. I've been helping people heal since 2002. I've been at this almost a quarter of a century, over a thousand through my private practice, all success stories. My work is about emotional healing, which starts with choosing who you're going to be. So my emotional condition, and so many of my clients and all of you watching, have had moments where it really feels dark. It really feels like things are not going well and not going your way. And I just want to suggest that those are the moments where you have the best opportunity to meet you for real and God. And my emotional condition— I had been training my whole life for this moment where the cancer diagnosis struck, and I not only had to decide to live like I was going to live even though everyone's telling me I'm going to die, but also to decide nothing outside of me is more powerful than me. So I was equipped. I teach what I call the practice of emotional healing. So what I teach is there's only 5 emotions. Everything else is your feelings about your circumstance, the external circumstance. So anger, fear, grief, joy, excitement. At the time of this diagnosis, I had a healthy relationship with anger, fear, grief, joy, and excitement. Thank you, God, because I swear what kept me alive was my ability to emotionally stay regulated and to not make the darker emotions wrong. I think anger, fear, and grief are just as important as joy and excitement, and the more you're willing to have a healthy relationship with anger, fear, and grief, the more joy and excitement get to become the rule you live by. So I screamed when I needed to scream, cried when I needed to cry, shook when I needed to shake through the fear, laughed when I genuinely wanted to laugh and was excited about the opportunity to get to know myself and God even more. And it felt like relief to break up with achievement, you know. And I'm the coach that's going to tell you, you don't need a breakdown to break through. For me, it took a pretty significant breakdown to graduate myself from achievement paradigms that were actually keeping me and my ability to serve humanity smaller, to level up into alignment is all there is. Because from alignment, I'm just shown— when I wrote Coming Back to Life, I just plugged into God and listened to Lil Wayne radio and didn't have to figure anything out, right? And so emotionally it was terrifying, and I was equipped, and I knew all I have to do is practice emotional healing and get to one right-for-me next step at a time that God's going to show me. I don't have to figure it out.

Categorize your training and you incorporate that into reality of your experience. You had that fear advantage and you realize how you had to control your emotions. And at the same time, you're very vulnerable. But real. When you're angry, you're angry. You allow yourself to be angry. If you feel like screaming, you scream. People need to understand that we have got to be ourselves in every situation. And those 5 emotions are real and we don't necessarily need to mask them, but we must always allow them to be themselves. Even as they are part of who we are. Now, I'm looking at the information and I realize that you have a series of programs, Rebeccah Silence, that is geared towards offering people proven roadmaps to healing. One of the ways in which we can help people overcome from past emotional hurts is by coming face to face with it. Would you say that this is one of the methods that you use based on your experience and your expertise? Or is there something better that you have that can help people face the reality of past traumas, hurts, and damaged emotions and help them to heal or recover altogether?

I think the practice of emotional healing is where it's at. Now, let me explain what I mean by that because your emotions are never because of a person or a situation, right? Let me just do that little mic drop moment because we think how we feel is because of a person or a situation. And we think if the person or the situation changes, then we're going to be okay. I want you to all understand there's nothing outside of you more powerful than you and other people and situations do not need to change for you to be okay. So your emotions are just your raw humanity. And thank you for for how you're acknowledging my raw, real, vulnerable essence. I got nothing to prove. I'm here on divine assignment, and I'm so grateful to still get to be here, and my life is about service as long as I still have breath, right? But what I know is when someone's taking their emotions out on me, they're actually avoiding doing their work. When I'm taking my emotions out on someone, I'm avoiding intimacy. I'm avoiding having, you know, a very healthy, healed relationship with myself so that I can have a healthy, healed relationship with other people. So let me just teach a little bit what I call the emotional CPR process, Andy, if that would be supportive to the community, right? And all of you are here because you care about your impact on people. So let's just acknowledge you're rare, you're precious, and we need you, right? We need the healed you making your difference. And so think about emotional CPR like this, right? I have my water glass. We're born pure. We're born fully expressed and free, and we don't question ourselves or our emotions. So think about a baby. A baby isn't doubting, is it safe to be angry right now? Or to grieve, or to have fear, or to be joyful. Some of you, it is terrifying to let yourself be joyful because you're afraid the other shoe's gonna drop. You're afraid something bad might happen if you get too happy or let it get too good. Will you please let it get too good? Like, haven't you been through enough, right? So a baby, you can see a baby or a toddler go through anger, fear, grief, joy, and excitement in 10 seconds, right? That's how we were born. That's who we were. But then we get disappointed. We get heartbroken. We get jealous. We get betrayed. We get taught that love can hurt us. And what I think we all want more than anything else is love. And when we're emotionally dysregulated, we avoid intimacy. We avoid our right to give and receive the love that we are. All you're seeing from me is I am not afraid to fully give you my heart and my soul and my love, and I'm receiving back from all of you at the same time. That's what it's all about. So emotional CPR is how you prevent fight, flight, freeze, otherwise known as survival, from taking over, right? And it's either fight, flight, freeze, or healed. There's a fourth option, okay? When you're fighting, you need someone or something to blame. When you're in flight, you're numbing, you're escaping, you're avoiding, you're focusing on other people or work or an affair or a substance so you don't have to be with the emotions underneath it all. When you're freezing, you're believing you're incapable of handling the moment. And you are never actually incapable of handling the moment. What we're taught is that fight, flight, freeze is emotion. It isn't. It's feeling to avoid the emotion underneath at all. So emotional CPR is just knowing I can recognize I'm in fight, flight, or freeze and find my way back to being a clear channel emotionally healed. It's simple. All you got to do to be healed is be with the emotion underneath it all: anger, fear, grief, joy, or excitement. I write in my award-winning book Coming Back to Life about how to do that. In my Emotional Survival Kit, my course, which you can get at rebeccahsilence.com, I take you through the 7 steps to be an emotionally clear channel connected to your highest, most healed self and God. It's worth it to break through survival, fight, flight, freeze. What nobody else is going to tell you is that breaking up with survival can feel like you're dying, but you're not. It's just your survival self letting go so the you, the deepest, most pure, real you can be born. And this is what I'm working with clients on day in and day out, how to connect to their truth so they can design lives that fit in with them and make their most healed difference, whatever that is. And that's what we uncover. I'm working with a woman right now in my private practice who got divorced last year. It was an abusive marriage, and she spent a year on her way to herself, finding herself, and She couldn't believe how terrified she was of joy, and it's all she wanted. And now she has a podcast about joy because she's ready to share with the world her joyful self unapologetically. She thought her being joyful would hurt her or other people for so long. Now her whole life is transforming because she's emotionally clear and free and able to joyfully So I don't want us afraid of our emotions, and I want us to have a healthy relationship with fight, flight, freeze, anger, fear, grief, joy, and excitement.

And you had our producer excited because I told him to line up a video that in so many ways Rebeccah Silence will just to simply support that grounded foundational aspect of love and the purity of being just one true self. So, Vex, you can run the video now and she will comment after.

Love, but nobody teaches us how to have it, how to have the dream of love, how to hold the dream of love. How many of you have felt like at one point or another you've had love, but that deliciousness, that magic, that experience that you were hoping for, or maybe had glimpses of, you weren't able to sustain as the everyday. I think we all want love, and it scares us even more than we want it, and we just don't talk about that enough. The other reason I decided I am going to teach Emotional CPR and do a free gifted event to my gorgeous community, and I can't emphasize enough how much it means to me that we are all here together and that we're sharing this time and space and that you're joining me for this. This is a time in history where we need loving leadership, period, end of story. There is so much separation. There is so much division, there is so much fear, and there's so much permission to push people away, to judge each other, to shut each other down, and to not be careful with each other's hearts. And I want us to not only have our dream of love and hold it and live it every day, but to be the example of the love the world needs.

Wow, that is so deep. So listen, I'm getting goose pimples here, goosebumps. No, seriously, Rebeccah, that was an amazing display of the reality of just pure, true love and one being able to accept it and not be scared. How deep is that? I mean, how profound is that? Where did that come from?

Rebeccah Silence? I mean, it's just the truth. I feel like God gave me this message, right, that, you know, this is how it came to me when it came to me. No one tells the truth when they're asked the question, what do they want to be when they grow up? The answer is loved.

Yes, right.

We talk about a career, we talk about a house, home in the Bahamas, right, hanging out with you. But what about telling the truth about we want to be loved? So we believe that love hurt us. Love never hurt you. Unhealed people did.

Yes.

The only way to be healed is to be emotionally free and you in control of your emotions, not them in control of you. And when we didn't know how to handle our emotions, And when people who didn't know how to handle their emotions hurt us, because we hurt ourselves when we don't know how to handle our emotions. When you guard your heart, you're hurting yourself and you're hurting your relationships and the people you love. When people are guarded, taking their pain out on each other and calling that emotion and saying, "You made me feel," nobody made you feel.

Yeah, yeah.

You didn't know how to process your your emotions, right? And I say it with love and no judgment. But yes, I am just so clear, we are love. That is the point. That's all that matters. And for me, it took cancer to love myself more and better than I ever had before, and to let God love me more and better than I ever had before. And now I'm just gonna shout on the rooftops, we need you healed, making your difference. We need you as loving as possible. And in the US, We need loving leaders. And across the globe, we need loving, consistent, centered, emotionally clear, emotionally regulated leadership more than we ever have.

Absolutely, absolutely, 110%. So Gracie Vincent has a comment, and it's interesting. It's so nice to live and tell your story. You must believe in yourself. Sometimes we doubt ourselves at times it's all about survival. Wow.

Or what if it isn't and it's just about love, right? We think it's about survival. And here's the deal, I wrote Coming Back to Life because I wanted to write a book teaching people how to use their pain and their trauma to their advantage. Trauma doesn't mean less of a life. In my definition of trauma is heartbreak. No one's immune to trauma because we've all been broken. But we don't know how to get back to love in the face of the hurt. So that's why I wrote Coming Back to Life. And you all have a story. Yes, Gracie, it is amazing to live your story and to tell about it and to know it benefits people when you do. But I promise, there's so much more to life than survival. And almost everyone is just surviving their way through their lives. And I think that is a shame and ultimate sin. And let's be the love we are and be radical about it and let people be uncomfortable because we're so healed, they don't know how to handle it.

Yeah. Amazing. Thank you for sharing, Rebeccah Silence. Tell us about— I want to go back to the book. You alluded to it a couple of times. What is the core message of hope that people can get from— yeah, yeah, I know you're gonna bring it up. There you go.

There it is. Okay, yes, Coming Back to Life. It's won awards for best self-love, best self-worth, and you know, the core promise is that healing is always possible. Healing is freedom. Yeah, there's nothing outside of you more powerful than you. There's no pain you can't use to your advantage. There's no case too difficult or crazy to crack. Listen, I'm an incest survivor. I grew up in domestic violence in an addictive home. I had my first marriage with domestic violence because understanding trauma— and I had a 4.0 grade point average in my master's degree in counseling, and I still found myself in a domestic violence marriage. Because understanding trauma isn't enough to heal it. I think my crazy story, including beating cancer with a 5% chance after getting diagnosed when I was pregnant, is all to show me there's nothing that can't heal if you're committed. I say healing is possible because it isn't a promise that you'll heal. You have to commit. Hmm. You have to want it. You have to do the work that almost nobody wants to do because it sucks, right? Doing the work to heal, it feels like you're dying, but you're not. You're being reborn, and it's so magical, and it's so worth it. Every day of my life is heaven on earth. There is not a day that goes by that I don't cry tears of joy. It's all a miracle, and I can find the love in anything, and I can be the love in anything. And So can you, and that's what Coming Back to Life is all about.

Yeah, I feel the empowerment that you have personally experienced, and I know that the majority of it would have been put into the publication Coming Back to Life. What are people saying about the information, Rebeccah Silence? Is it part of what your program is to help people to embrace the fact that as possible?

Coming Back to Life is a perfect first step, right? Because in my work, I'm not the coach that says, I know what you need and here's how to live. I'm the coach that says, you have your answers and my process will help you find out your answers, your path. I'm not here to say, be dependent on me, I know what you need. I am here to say, I promise you, you you know who you are. I promise you, you have it in you to know, love, and trust yourself and to be safe with you. And if you want it, the advanced class is in addition to knowing and trusting and loving and being safe with you. You have the ability to love and know and trust and be safe with God. And so I want you to start with Coming Back to Life. We've sold thousands upon almost 10,000 copies, I believe, of the book. It's revolutionized lives. I have therapists using this book with their patients, doing book clubs, because it's, it's getting to the heart of what you need to actually heal, not just the mindset and strategy work, which isn't enough to change how you feel. And then yes, I have other programs as well. You can hire me one-on-one to do the deepest breakthrough work with you. Breakthrough work, meaning we have to heal up the stuck age and heal you through the stuck emotion so you can have a new experience, even if nothing changes circumstantially. Because the circumstances we can't change. We can't get everybody to be how you need them to be or who you need them to be for you to be okay. But we can get you solid. We can get you free. We can get you back to love and trust and faith. And the book walks you through exactly how to do that. And then my advanced program, Ticket to the Moon.

Yeah. So folks, you see why we labeled this episode Finding Calm in Chaos 2 with Rebeccah Silence? Because she's off the charts. She's off the charts. With regards to being able to truly recognize that we have so much more going for us than sometimes we feel we do. And it's about recognizing the calm in the midst of the chaos, because our truth is not about the chaos, but the calm that really exists on the inside. And she's going to find a way to help us to discover that calmness. When you think about the people that you help, Rebeccah Silence, in terms of relationship, whether it's marriage or individual struggles, is there a common ground where you see people struggle with, or is it a variety of things that they come to you and then you probably have to shift as you go along? What is this that shows up more often than others as you deal with the people that you help?

Okay, so here's the common thread, and then it shows up in different costumes with different characters, right? And I work with people all around the world, and I've seen literally it all. Like, there's no case out of over 1,000 in my private practice I haven't cracked. Yeah, not one. I crack them all. Okay, common thread, okay? We want love more than anything.

Mm-hmm.

Experience love the way we did growing up until we heal.

Yeah.

Okay, so what I just said is profound. We experience love the way we did growing up until and unless we heal. And almost no one actually fully heals. They manage and cope. So what happens is I attract— so we'll use, you know, I've got one couple that I love so much. They actually had an affair on their previous spouses and came to me in a lot of of shame because they had now gotten divorced. They really wanted to make this work, and they had had this belief that now that they had each other, all of their dream of love was going to happen. But now they were at odds, and they didn't know how to make it work because they were experiencing each other the way they did their first spouses. Because we recreate the family dynamics we grew up with, with whoever we're with. Until we heal, because we need to play out the pain and the pattern until it heals. So if you had a parent who was controlling and shaming and dominating, and then another parent that was just submissive at the effect of that parent, you think that's what happens in relationships. So you're one or the other, and then your spouse is the other one. Right? So maybe you decided, I'm going to be the control because I'm never going to be submissive. So now you have a submissive spouse in your mind. It doesn't even mean they're actually submissive, but you can't experience them differently until, until you've healed that you're re-experiencing family the way you did growing up. Does that make sense, Andy? Like, this is the advanced class, but if you want the common thread, everybody has this dream of love and attracts people to help them heal through all their blocks to love. So we think this person— and it could be a boss, it doesn't even have to be a spouse— we think this person is the problem. No, they're showing you what you haven't healed yet. Relationship is for your soul evolution. So with that couple that had had an affair, which by the way, both of them came from childhoods where a parent had had an affair, Yes, they didn't want to be the one cheated on. Yeah, they're the ones cheating. So now they're together, divorced from their first spouse, and it feels like a threat because love has always felt like a threat. And they're believing that this person is going to hurt them because love always hurts them. And so did one of my 2-day couples intensives and help them both heal their wounds from childhood, heal through the pain of their first marriage, heal through the shame of affair they had had, so that two healed adults instead of two people stuck in survival could design this relationship their way, beyond what they experienced.

Wow. So Gracie Vincent says she's been listening to you very intensively, Rebeccah Silence. Powerful story.

Thank you.

Good shattering story. That's my two cents. I'm gonna pause for a pause. We're gonna have the Thought of the Week, and our producer is gonna put it up on the screen. And probably, Rebeccah Silence, you'll see why I chose this particular, uh, just these few words to be the Thought of the Week. There's something that I really want people to engage with, and you are helping me to get that message across. It says, when we surrender to God all that we are, he can then make us into all we can become. I'm going to repeat that. When we surrender to God all that we are, he can then make us into all we can become. Do not put a limit on yourself. You can become so much more than you are. The potential, the reality of it, it's already there. It's just a matter of seeking the right channels, modems, ways and opportunities where it can be unearthed, come to the surface and become so much more than we actually are right now. But it's always possible with God. So I'm gonna get back to you, Rebeccah. In terms of going forward, what does the future look like for you and your organization? And what plans do you have to increase the ability that you have to engage with people on a higher level? And I know your focus is on love and healing, and that's amazing. That's almost therapeutical. But is there something more that we can do going forward in terms of self-discovery that can help us to engage in more love and more healing? Is there more we can do?

Well, the only path to self-discovery that I recommend is emotional healing, because nothing will gut you faster or reveal the truth of who you are actually deep down to you faster than emotional healing. But I do have So many exciting things happen. We have a new company, The Unsilent Woman. So theunsilentwoman.com, unsilent with a T, woman.com is up and running and I have a new membership, the Own Your Voice Society. So I'm bringing women together from all over the world that already have a voice but don't necessarily know how to use their voice to fuel their peace, their passion, their joy, their fulfillment. And we need healed leaders, but we also need joyful leaders, right? And so often we have this responsibility to serve and it becomes exhausting and takes the toll. And I want us fulfilled by our service. So the Own Your Voice Society is available. And then I'm also working on a TV show, Andy, that's brand new, doing the work I do with couples on TV so that everyone that watches can heal in real time.

Wonderful. Thank you so much. I'm looking forward to that TV show. Wow. There is too much negative connotations coming out from so many different people, social media platforms in the world. And here you are, a beacon of hope and light for so many. I commend you for that. What are some of the physical fallout or negative impacts of influences one can experience when dealing with trying to get the understanding of true love and emotional trauma? Is there some feedback that can take a physical toll on someone?

Yeah. Oh my gosh, I have never been asked this and I love this question. So I think one of the, you know, pitfalls falls, fallouts, tolls that can happen. I'm a relationship expert because I know how to stay true to me and true to God in the face of any other relationship. What nobody else is going to tell you is that when you're committed to alignment, to being true to you so you can be your best for others, not everybody is going to want to heal and grow with you. That is a doozle, right? There will be people that want you the way you were, surviving, trauma bonding, small, not too much for them. That's inevitable. It's hard. I've had to let go of a 14-year-long relationship with a mentor. I've had to let go of best friends of 20-plus years, blessing them into their loving them from a distance. Now, with that pitfall being stated very clearly, most of the time in my experience, people will grow with you, most of the time. And if they don't, you knowing you did your best to be healed, not blaming them, not being threatened by them, not doing anything but saying, hey, I'm growing, I'd love for us to to grow together. Are you open? Right? You don't let go of people when you haven't done the work to heal. But if you've done the work to heal, and you've given them the opportunity to grow with you, and they're not having it, I just want to promise you something. It can be very painful. In my world, it's unavoidable. Again, you being a relationship expert is you staying you through it all, even through heartbreak. That any relationship that's ever gone away, it's made room for the right aligned relationships in my world. The TV show, can't tell you much about it yet, but it came to me. And if the door is blocked because I don't want to lose anybody, the right people can't come through, right? And the door is only blocked if you're making yourself smaller because you don't want to lose people. Please don't make yourself smaller. Turn the volume all the way up on the truth of who you are, because the right-for-you people are going to want more of it. They're going to love it, right? I'm not too much for Andy. There might be some podcast hosts that are like, wow, she's a lot. They're not going to want to interview me. That's cool. But just know relationship mastery is about being willing to outgrow relationships and seasons with people that are not wanting to know you at the most healed level. And that's okay.

Yeah, it really is. Wow. It is so important, folks, to understand what Rebeccah Silence is saying. Just be proud of who you are. Just appreciate who you are. You don't need other people's love or approval. To bring you to a place where you recognize yourself or you accept yourself. It starts with you, it starts with us. We recognize our own love, we recognize our own unique self, how important we are, how special we are in the eyes of the Creator. And everything we do is supposed to be basically based on that sense of realization and that sense of acceptance. And if it means that we have to cut off a relationship that may be toxic in some manner, then we have to make that decision. Sometimes you just have to learn to say no. It may be painful a bit, it may be emotionally straining, but then After a while, you feel that, "Hey, I did the right thing because now, as Rebeccah rightly said, I'm making room for a greater sense of alignment for my life and a better future going forward." I want a video to be shown here now that I think helps us understand that aspect of emotional healing and overcoming and self-acceptance. Dex, I hope you have it lined up. Okay, probably hasn't got it lined up as yet, but I labeled this, um, this video as Burnout, and I hope he gets it because I just want us to see what aspect of the physical strain, um, can really do to us if we we don't understand how to let go of some things or let go of some people. Okay, so let me see. Okay, so I'm gonna give him a minute. He says he's going to locate it. So Rebeccah Silence, continuing with what you have said and what we are looking at, how do you get people to begin the process of self-acceptance? What are some of the initial things that they need to do in the incipient stages?

Yeah, I think the first most important thing is saying yes to reinventing yourself, right? My clients say yes to reinventing themselves. Now, that does not mean we're throwing out all of who you've been and starting from scratch. All I need is for you to be willing to fine-tune the 5% of who you're being that has survival winning over healing winning. 95% of your essence, your values, your spirit, the fire inside of you, who you are, works. It's like 5% that needs to be fine-tuned, right? So there are certain people that are not going to say yes to Reinventing themselves. If they won't say yes to reinventing themselves, they will never say yes to reinventing a relationship with you either, right? And people will never love you better than they love themselves. Some of you are comparing your 100% capacity to love to somebody else's, and your 100%, you know, is their like 5%, like, or you're thinking that they should be able to give you as much as you give them, but they're giving you as much as they have to give. So say yes to reinventing yourself. Say yes to reinventing with other people and be willing to let them go if they're not wanting that too, because they're not wrong either.

Correct. Good, good. Thank you so much, Rebeccah. Now we, we need to get that video going. I think it's up.

We're all born. I think that's the one we already did. Yeah, with a dream of love. No, but no.

Yeah, we already got that one. Next we need the other one. That's, uh, We did the love stuff before.

The other thing I would say while he's looking for the video is for you to take on healing. I'll just give you the first step in the practice of emotional healing. It's commitment to life. Yes, right? We're not living to die. We're living to get the most out of life, and we're here for the full human experience, whether we want to admit it or not. So that doesn't mean everything goes our way all the time. And I love to say, life doesn't happen to you. Life doesn't happen for you. It's just happening. And in the face of life happening, you get to decide who you're going to be.

Yeah. That's so true and so powerful. And I hope folks really listen and engage with that kind of thinking because Sometimes we want to blame life or we want to blame the neighbor next door. We want to blame somebody when we have full control and responsibility for how we feel and how we act and how we respond. And we should always engage in that kind of thinking because it means we are empowering ourselves to be our true selves despite what life brings. Despite what the neighbor says or anyone does, just be yourself. Okay, next.

Easier said than done, but it's so true.

Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. I really want that video, Dex. It is so engaging in terms of how it helps us to remember we can't take on the entire world. We can't be there for everybody. We have to find some time to just take care of ourselves as well. Is that it? I know I have it somewhere. Okay. So yeah, go ahead.

I was just going to say, Wally, looking, it is so important to recognize your only job is to pay attention to how healed or not you are, because you can't change anybody else. We all have free will and agency, right? So you're breaking generational cycles by practicing emotional healing, by even listening to this, this far, and that's powerful. And not everybody's gonna want it too, but you modeling the example and doing it for you, not to get other people to change, is so powerful. And it's enough.

Yeah, I think you got the video now, so let's hear it.

Burnout is not about doing too much, it's about hiding too much of who you really are. Hey, it's Rebeccah Silence, self-healing and relationship. I'm like, what should I say? I'm going to drop some truth today for you. The 3 signs you're self-betraying and self-abandoning. It is time to stop the madness. Sign 1: You're overwhelmed but keep committing. This is a huge one.

Wow.

You don't have anything to prove, and you don't owe anyone more than you owe yourself your peace. Sign 2: you feel unseen. Seen in your relationships. If you feel unseen in your relationships, you're not showing up. You're not letting them see the real you. You're Wow.

Okay.

Managing and editing yourself in an effort— here's life happening right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would like you to just go over those 3 aspects for us in real time so that we can actually get it. We just struggling a bit with the video, but I think it's really important that folks get that information.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I'm not remembering exactly what I had in the video, but for sure, if you're burned out, you're overwhelmed because your priorities are wonky. You're focusing on everyone and everything and what you think needs to happen externally, not what honors and respects and takes care of you. And then what I was saying about if you feel unseen, this is a really hard truth. I'm not an easy coach, everybody, but if you feel unseen, you're not showing up. You're hiding parts of who you are. You're holding holding back because you don't want to rock the boat. You want to avoid conflict. You don't want to cause any trouble and you're focusing on keeping the peace. But if the peace is at your own expense, that's not peace. And if you're burned out, I'm just going to give you another third one. I'm not sure if this is exactly what's in that reel or not. You can probably go to my Rebeccah Silence Instagram page. Rebeccah has an H. Silence. Rebeccah Silence and find that video. But I think the third thing, if you're burned out, is you've completely left God out of the mix. If you're burnt out, there's no God in the mix. And you're also— I'll give you a fourth one— you're not letting yourself receive back. Yeah, as you're giving, so many people want to be a giver and they don't want to I used to have a mentor, her name was Carol Reynolds, say, "Giving is receiving." So I'm getting back so much from all of you today. I'm giving a lot. But I'm also receiving, right? Particularly from Andy here, right? His gorgeous, his gorgeous spirit, his gorgeous leadership. It's feeding my soul. It's pouring life into me too. So receiving, it makes you selfish in that you're letting yourself get filled up, but it doesn't make you self-absorbed. And there's a big difference between being selfish and being self-absorbed, right? Self-absorbed is it's just about you. And some of you want to give and not receive, and that keeps it about you. So you're not really being the service you could be, right? So I want you letting yourself trust it's safe to receive as much as you value being of service and giving. And that's a huge cure for burnout.

Wow. So piggybacking on what you just said there, is it possible that we can align some of those things with what is commonly known as the imposter syndrome?

Well, imposter syndrome is you in survival. Mm-hmm. Same thing. If you're authentic, there's no imposter syndrome.

Right.

Imposter syndrome means inauthenticity, and it's innocent. And, you know, part of what Coming Back to Life does so well and why the book has sold so many copies is because it's helping you connect to the truth of who you are. Because you don't wake up one day and know who you are. You wake up one day and you know you're surviving, right? My client getting out of an abusive marriage, finding herself again, living her life on her terms. She didn't know who she really was, but she's uncovered what lights her up, what pours life into her, what she values, what she wants for her life to feel like, and who she wants to be. So imposter syndrome is you feeling like you have to fit in and be someone you're not to achieve. We talked about achievement earlier. The opposite of imposter syndrome is you're authentic and you've created a life that fits in with you. And you're not focusing on things.

Wow. Yeah, yeah, I love that. Thank you so much for sharing, Rebeccah Silence. Now, I have seen people struggle with themselves, really, and trying to figure out what their true values in life are because they have been trying to please what the family wants them to do, or they want to be accepted by the crowd, or they are simply being led by what they think society requires of them. What advice would you give to someone who is in search of their personal values, and how can you help them to find what's really aligned to them in terms in terms of their ability, their gifts, talents, so that it becomes real and not something that is influenced by outside influence.

Yeah. Okay. So what I would say is get Coming Back to Life now. Listen to it on audio or read it if you really care about what matters most to you. But here's a couple thoughts just for us to chew on immediately. So when I'm talking about core values, I'm talking about who you are regardless of circumstance, right? So it's a beingness. It's who you're being, what you're giving and receiving back, even if a circumstance doesn't change. So for me, I could live my core values in my cancer bed. My core of love, yeah, growth, of freedom, of family. Boil it down to 4. Just start there. Now, the advanced exercise here is for you to not need anybody else to understand it or approve, right? I've had clients give me core values of creative, fluid, wild, passion. It's who you are. And when you're being your core values, you can't be threatened on a soul level. Like, really hear that. When you're being your core values, you cannot be threatened on a soul level. Yeah, right. So figure out what they are. And then bonus, define define them. Write out a sentence. What does this mean to you? Because it's more than just a word.

Wow, wonderful. So guys, please tap into— we have just about 5 minutes to go again, and before Rebeccah Silence goes, tap into this amazing well of wealth with regards to all the beautiful stuff that she's saying here. I'm overwhelmed myself. But hey, ask questions, make comments. I want to show us the thought of the week one more time again as we approach the top of the hour so that you can be reminded of the foundational aspect of why we are here. So, Dex, just put it up one more time. Let's share the thought of the week. When we surrender to God all that we are, he can then make us into all we can become, and we can become more. Trust me, I've been there, done that. When we surrender to God all that we are, he can then make us into all we can become. He knows so much more about us than we even know about ourselves. So let's get back to our guest, Rebeccah Silence. Rebeccah, if there's one thing you would love for the world to know more than anything else, inclusive of the power of love and the possibility of healing? What would you say if you had the opportunity to speak to just about everybody on the planet? It's just the one thing that they need to hear. What would you tell them?

Be careful with each other's hearts.

Oh boy. Yes, yes, yes. Wow, that's so profound and so deep. How can we do that, Rebeccah? How can we be just aware of that, of that consciousness as a reality?

We've all been through it, right? And I'm actually a pleasure-centric brand. It's more about the pleasure and the joy and the love and the good stuff for me than the pain we've been through. But the truth of the matter is everybody has a story, everybody has heartbreak, everybody's been hurt, everybody has been through it, right? And when you really recognize each person on the planet has a heart, has a soul, has a story, has past heartbreak, and you don't need to be a part of contributing to their pain, and you can be a part of contributing to their healing their freedom, their joy, their liberation, that's powerful. And I am demanding of myself every single day, you're going to be the best of you, whether you like it or not, because the people you come into contact with and that you serve need the healed you. I get to make a healed impact. And we're either making an unhealed impact and contributing to pain and suffering and separation and here in the vision, or we're making our healed impact and we're part of the solution in the medicine. And we all have it in us to be way more careful with everybody that we love, with every life in front of us, and to be careful with each other's hearts.

Yeah, that's a real powerful and engaging and special note to end this wonderful episode of Breaking Out of Depression on. So we just want to thank— no, we just want to thank— we are thanking Rebeccah Silence for being with us. She has poured so much value into this episode, so much nuggets of love, healing, overcoming, healthy emotional places to be in, and a mindset not just of survival but of being able to embrace love in all its beauty and all its splendor. And above all things, guys, just remember that God has for us something that is so amazing if we just allow Him to really lead and take control of our lives. And as Rebeccah rightly says, let's take care of ourselves so much that we really want to take care of each other and appreciate each other's love and appreciate each other's appreciate each other's heart. It's a matter of the heart. So Rebeccah, I'd like to ask you just to stick around for a couple of minutes while we end the show. I'm sure Pix has a couple things he wants to run by you. And please, people, tell someone about the information that you would have received and go and take a look at Rebeccah's website. There's so much information there. She's in LinkedIn, she's in YouTube, Instagram. That information is in the show notes, so you can check it out and you can reach out and of course tell her that you saw her on Breaking Out of Depression and make that connection. All right, so until next time, I am just hoping that you all would continue to embrace the opportunity to love and believe that healing Everything is possible and that we can take care of each other in a greater and more responsible manner than we have been doing. There's always room for improvement when love is in the mix. So remember, do all that you can to continue to break out of depression. Bye for now, guys. Until next time, Godspeed, God bless, love you, take care.

There ain't got no way, ain't got no way I'm gonna make it without my Lord, no. Ain't got no way I'm gonna make it without my Lord, no.