A 2025 conversational interview with coach Rebeccah Silence about the emotional transitions around graduations for both graduates and parents. Rebeccah emphasizes starting transitions by asking "How do you want to feel?", creating a life-destination through journaling, and framing graduation as an opportunity for reinvention. She also promotes her book Coming Back to Life and her coaching resources (rebeccasilence.com, theunsilentwoman.com).
Foreign.
Local On a mental wellness Wednesday, it's big pop in the morning mixed with a 2.5 welcoming the unsilent woman life coach Rebecca Silence. You can check her out@rebeccasilence.com and the unsilent woman.com Rebecca, good morning. How are you?
Well, hello and happy Mental wellness Wednesday during mental health awareness Month. I am so excited to be here.
So this time of the year, people are getting ready for graduations. You know, the college graduations have already happened. High school graduation is coming up in the next couple weeks or so and it's a big, big step not only for the graduate but also for the family itself and, and the parents that are having the kids go off to college or go off to the military or go off to whatever the next step is. Can we talk about the transition of graduation? And you know, if you are the graduate getting ready for that and if you're the parent getting ready for that, because it's you, it's, it's a big, big change.
It's huge. And so many parents are about to be empty nesters right now that are listening and so, so many young adults are in this moment of, oh my God, am I ready for this? What does this mean? It is a lot. So the way I like to work with families on any type of transition, but especially when we're leaving high school or leaving college and what are we doing next? And then the parent, how do you deal with that? Is we start with how do you want it to feel? So often you're coached or in therapy, we're looking at what are we going to do? That creates more anxiety, that creates more overwhelm, more pressure. How do you want to feel? Is the most important first question to ask yourself as the parent, to ask your child so that you understand that. And then if it's you, the young adult, how do you want to feel? Is the best first question to reset and regroup. Anytime you're feeling shaky, anytime you don't feel like you have your footing or that you're grounded or that you know what you're doing, start with how do you want to feel?
So what you're, what you're saying is a lot of people's your grad. Oh, so what are you going to do next?
Yeah.
And if you're not sure asking yourself how you want to feel will help you kind of find your way.
Yes. Because say how I want to feel is centered or confident or excited. We make being adults look so unattractive to our kids as a society. So the kids are often.
We were sold a bad bill of goods.
I mean, we make it look terrible, right? Marriage is just fights and stress and ick and work and paying bills and being an adult looks like it sucks for so many of our beautiful young people. Gen Z, Gen Alpha, and, you know, all the generations, we can have a blast being adults. Gary's a great example of this. I'm a great example of this. We do what we want, when we want, how we want. We've created lives and careers that are fulfilling, so maybe how you want to feel is fulfilled or happy. So often we're like, I don't get to be happy, I don't get to be fulfilled. I got to be responsible, or I don't want to have to be responsible. So I'm going to be Peter Pan and I'm not going to do crap. I'm going to ride and milk not having to do crap diddly as long as I can. So it might seem strange that I'm starting out with how do you want to feel? But if you know how you want to feel, you get to create a life that supports that.
Absolutely. And we're going to continue this conversation online right now at mix100025.com it's Rebecca Silence. Rebecca, silence.com, the unsilent woman on a mental wellness Wednesday. All right, go ahead.
Okay, so what with all that being said, I also want you to have some type of a destination in mind of what you want to create for your life. So we want to know how you want to feel, but we also want to know what are you wanting to do with your life? And that is a very overwhelming question. But this is what I want you to think about. And for parents, you get to look at this for you, too, because for so many of you, your whole life has been raising this kid. So what do you want to create for your life now that, congratulations, you did that job, you got yourself fired from the job because you did it and you did it well. And even if you think, like, on paper, I didn't do it well, my kid is a disaster. You did it well. You did what you could do. Your children's choices from here are a reflection of them, not of you. So journal, literally, get out pen and paper and write, what do I want to create for my life? What do I want to do with my life? Maybe you have a side hustle you want to start. Maybe you want to retire yourself from one job and change careers. Maybe you want to be an entrepreneur. I don't want you thinking about. I can only write it down if I know how I'm going to do it.
Right? And a lot of parents, it's funny that you say that, because a lot of parents, they spend over a decade running their kids from this practice to that practice that, like, that's the life that they know. They work and then they cart their kids around six to seven days a week for sports and activities. And if it's. If it's a travel team, you're going out of town all the time. And to have that all of a sudden, like, not be part of your life, there is. There's a lot of, you know, empty real estate when it comes to time now.
There's grief, there's this void. There can be a ton of fear because I don't know who I am without being the parent to my kid. Right? But you have an opportunity. You can heal and reinvent your love life with your spouse. You can, if you've been a single parent, put yourself out there and date again. And, you know, I'm the coach that says it's never too late for a comeback love story. So for some of you, if you don't have love right now the way you want it, that can be the vision. For some of you, the big area is health. For some of you, it's taking on your finances. For some of you, it's spirituality. But if you don't have a destination in mind, you're just blowing in the wind in your own life. And then I'll also point out journal about, what would I want to do if I wasn't worried about money? What would I do for free? I think Gary's a great example of doing a job he would do for free. And then he created a legacy and a career around that. I did the same thing. You can do that, too. But if you wait to claim it until you know how it's going to go or whether or not you think you can have it, and it's realistic, you're never going to create a life on your terms. So this college graduation, high school graduation, graduation season is about reminding you your life gets to be on your terms. I literally wake up every day and I say this to myself, Rebecca, you don't have to do. You don't have to do anything. What are you choosing? I let myself know there's no pressure every day. And I get to deliberately create. And if you have no idea at all what you want, who you are, please do yourself a favor and buy my book. Coming back to life, a roadmap to heal from pain, to create the life you want. Because it's it. I walk you through the roadmap of coming home to yourself, getting back to knowing yourself, loving yourself, and trusting again. So this is also a great gift for any grad and for any parent if you're going to graduation parties, because it actually guides you through how to set yourself up, how to set your life up your way, on your terms. So I'd be remiss if I didn't shout out Coming Back to Life.
It's available on Amazon or whatever. You get your books. Make sure you go check that out. I love what we have created here. And every time that we talk, it's. It's special in the terms that even if what we're talking about doesn't directly relate to the person listening, people can take nuggets away and implement that into their life and make it work into their life. There's. It's not just, oh, this is just for them. It really is. This is for. You can take this information and piecemeal it in for what you have going on.
Amen. It's such an honor to do this show, to be a part of one of the most incredible communities in the nation. From wherever I am. I love you all. And I mean, we've been doing this 15 years. Gary.
I'm not even that old, so I don't know where you got that from.
That's insane. But thank you for having me. And don't be afraid of transition moments. You get to be excited and you get to take you back in those moments. So run with that energy. I have chills. This was so good today. I love you all.
All right, hit up theunsilentwoman.com or rebeccasilence.com and what was that main question you have to ask yourself that we started this conversation?
How do you want to feel? Thank you for revisiting that. How do I want to feel? And just pick a word. Start there. Because so many of you are avoiding how you don't want to feel. Claim how you do want to feel, and then what's the next step that gets you closer to that? And then what's the next step? And what's the next step? Start there.
