A live radio/transcript segment (Mental Wellness Wednesday) featuring life coach Rebeccah Silence and a guest speaker discussing grief, emotional processing, and healthy ways to grieve. The conversation defines grief broadly (including loss of relationships and 'ghosting'), emphasizes that grief is not weakness, outlines a three-step approach to process emotions (check thoughts, connect to five core emotions, release them healthily), and promotes Rebeccah Silence's book and a free masterclass.
Live and local with big pop in the morning mix. Photo 2.5 on a mental wellness Wednesday. Life coach Rebecca. Silence. RebeccaSilence.com is the website. Rebecca, how are you this morning?
Well, I am so happy to be here, and I have a new gift for everyone that we can get to later. I'm so excited to share with you.
You got us a gift and you're not. That's like that. That's the opposite of being. Hey, we have to talk later.
I've got a present.
So, you know, like, you're just. Well, nothing. I'm gonna be. I'm not gonna be able to accomplish anything now because now I'm just gonna think about switching gears. It's been a rough couple weeks around here. Lots of people are passing away, and it's from. It's everything from illnesses to taking their own life to overdoses to accidents to just getting old. Like, it's all over the gamut. And there are a lot of people that are going through a lot of grieving right now. Can we talk about, you know, how to help yourself if you are grieving or how to help, you know, the ones that are grieving because their loved ones are. Have passed.
Yeah. I mean, this is a huge conversation, and I think in 2024, there is nowhere to hide when it comes to our emotions. I think what pandemic did was it had us slow down and get stuck still, whether we wanted to or not, in a way where it's almost like we can't deny the truth of our emotions when they're starting to surface the way we could. Before Pandemic, we were very go, go, go and task oriented and achievement focused. And now we can't deny we have emotions that we need to be with, and they're not a bad thing. I need everyone to understand grief is not a sign of weakness. Grief is not a sign that you're being punished or done something wrong. It can't hurt you. It can't hurt anyone else. That's a huge point. I don't want us afraid that our sensitivity and our emotions make life worse for the people we love. That's not the case. The more vulnerable we are, the more willing we are to be with our emotions in a healthy way. And I'll walk us through how to be with our emotions in a healthy way in a moment. But the more we're willing to be with them, the more we give everyone around us permission to do the same. Before Pandemic, we were very, you know, accustomed to stoicism. I'M good. And now that old way, it's just not going to work. We can try it, but we're. We're too connected to ourselves. Right. And we're not alone in our emotions. And when we try to be, we don't make anything better and we suffer more and we actually hurt people around us. So how do you process grief? And the deal is, life happens, and we're not going to know when the last time is going to be that we see someone or have that final conversation or that final kiss or hug. We don't know. And I'm a cancer survivor. I got diagnosed on a Tuesday out of nowhere. We don't know when that moment will strike. And the thing about grief is we don't actually need a reason to grieve. We can be sad, we can be overcome with a wave of grief, and we don't know why, but in the moments where we have had a real loss, someone has passed, someone has taken their own life, someone that we loved started ghosting. We can be grieving, and the person is still alive. And we don't talk about how painful that is. It's very painful when someone has passed, whether we expect it or not. Rebecca.
I have never thought of it that way. Grieving for someone who is still with us, but they're just not a part of your life anymore, that's huge.
It's massive. And we don't talk about it. And sometimes that's because you're being ghosted. Sometimes that's because you're healthy enough to know if this is someone toxic. And I need to love them from a distance. That's painful, too.
Right.
And I personally have family members, loved ones that I had relationships with for decades that in this season, I love from a distance. And it doesn't hurt less when you're the one that has to, you know, set the boundary. So there are so many reasons why we grieve. And whatever the case is, you're not a bad person. You're not bad at love. You're not too sensitive, and nothing is wrong with you, but we have to get the grief out. And before, you know, recording, you and I were talking about just emotions that we're both having that we don't need a reason to get them out. They're just up and. And the emotions are here to help remind us that we're alive, to help remind us that we still have life left. And just like we don't know the last time we're going to see someone we don't know how much time we have. It's a miracle I'm still alive. I think what I call God every day. I have no idea why I'm still here. It makes no sense. I had a 5% chance to live. I'm still here. Why do some of us stay, some of us go? There's no answer to that. But what there is, is an opportunity in this moment for you to be emotionally well and emotionally clear so you can get the most out of the life you have left. So you can get out of the moment you're in the most out of it. So let me give us three steps to process our emotions in a healthy way. Because I think that's really the conversation here. What we want to do is go into Fight Flight Freez. We want to fight it, we want to shut it down, or we want to run away. And that happens in a variety of ways. Pick your poison. But Fight Flight Freeze kills your spirit. It's a slow spiritual death. And the other option is full self expression, which nobody teaches us how to do. So let's talk about how to do it. Number one, check in with your head. What are you thinking about? What you're feeling? Because they're two very different things. And what hurts you isn't the emotion you need to feel. It's what you're thinking and making up about yourself. I'm weak. Nobody's going to love me if I tell the truth about how I'm feeling right now or show my sensitivity, whatever it is. What are you thinking about it? We have to start there so we can get to the emotion underneath it. And this is complex, but let me try to make it simple. There's a big difference between your feelings about what's going on and the emotion you need to feel. So what we need is to connect to what we're thinking, our feelings about it, to get to the emotion number two. And I teach there's only five, only five emotions that we need to connect to and release in a healthy way. Anger, fear, grief, joy and excitement. And let me tell you, here's the third part. If you won't be with the anger, the fear, the grief, you don't get the joy and the excitement. And if you want your baseline to be joy and excitement, get real comfortable with those darker emotions. And if you haven't checked out my book yet, Coming back to Life, Chapter two is all about healthy emotional release. And how you know it's a healthy emotional release is you're not taking it out on anyone. If you just need to Grieve, just cry. Just let it out or write about it or sing about it. Dance it out, shake it out, shake it off. If you are angry, that's because you're passionate. Get it out, you know, air, scream, actually scream, punch a pillow, scream into a pillow. Rip up a phone book, break all the old dishes in the box in the basement that no one's ever going to deal with. Take the shop vac, clean it up. But we've got to get the emotion out. Got to move with it so that we can be clear emotionally. Mindset work isn't enough. And why traditional therapies and traditional coaching leaves most of us disappointed is because they're trying to deal with the emotions through the mind. I'm not saying there aren't wonderful practitioners, but we've got to get to the emotion and so grieve so you can feel your humanity and get more alive and get clear. It's okay. And you going first will give everyone you love around you permission to do the same.
Absolutely incredible stuff. It is Mental Wellness Wednesday with life coach Rebecca Silence and all the details and get her book that she mentioned earlier all@rebeccasilence.com thank you.
Can I have a gift? Can I get them a gift?
Go ahead.
I didn't know this is what we were going to talk about today. I never know the topic coming in, but I have a brand new free master class. It's an hour of your life and it will heal you emotionally and it will help you heal and set your family free. As soon as you press play, all you have to do is go to rebecca silence.com you can sign up to unlock the three must know secrets to heal and save your family. Free masterclass right on my homepage or go to rebecca silence.commasterclass and I am telling you I I have never been more proud of something I've created for all of you than I am of this very free, very powerful 16 years of my experience, tried and true proven strategies in one masterclass that's ready for you as soon as you press play. Check it out right away Rebecca silence.com.
Rebecca, you're amazing at what you do. Thank you so much.
