Heal, Transform & Learn to Embrace Time in a Whole New Way | It's Not About Doing More

As possible experience, where today it's all about time. It's all about you taking your time back. We talk a lot in the healing is possible mission and movement about taking your life back. But today, it's all about time. And I am your host, Rebecca Silence with the healing is possible experience, which is designed to take you on a journey of hope and healing so that you can get more out of your life and that so you can be healed emotionally so that you can really make your difference in the world. This show is brought to you by my gorgeous team and rebeccasilence.com we're here every Tuesday, 10am Mountain, and I'm very excited about today's episode, which, you know, is a lifetime of learning and growing for me that I want to share with you as always, you know, take what you want, leave the rest. But my job is to kind of shake things up, to shake you up, to allow you to give yourself permission to see and experience some of the things that maybe you've just decided are what they are differently. And specifically today we're talking about time. So if you're just meeting me, I am a cancer survivor, and I think another huge piece of why I do what I do with my coaching practice, with my retreat company, with my shows, with my life is because I don't want it to be as hard for you as it was for me in learning some of these lessons. You know, I don't think we have to get into our 40s, 50s, 60s to suddenly allow ourselves to have our lives. I don't think we need to have a crisis to force our hand. I think we just get to decide to decide to live into ease and flow whenever we want to. But, you know, in society and in the world doesn't really train us that way or teach us that or model that for us. So, you know, I just think it can be easier. One of my favorite, favorite honors of my life is getting to work with younger kids. And I start at about age 4 or 5. I have a lot of teenagers that I work with, and it's just so fun, fun to see the lights go off, to see possibilities pop like popcorn in their eyes and in their energy that, you know, many of us either don't ever arrive at or it takes too long. So time. I want us to start by just taking a moment to really think about, you know, what, what does time mean to you? That's the first thing I want to ask you today. What does time and what does your time in particular mean to you? I think just like there's no right way or wrong way to live our lives. There's no right way or wrong way to heal. There's just what works for you. The same applies to time. There's no right way or wrong way to spend your time. So that's the first little nugget and seed that I want to plant with you. But before we even think about how we're spending our time or be with the reality of how we're spending our time, I want us to be in the question of what, what do I make time even mean for me? It's very simple. My time is my life. It is the ultimate resource. It is the ultimate gift, right, that I get to experience and receive and also that I get to give to others and to the world. I think time is maybe the most precious resource in my world, in my life, because it is just the one thing, as cliche as it sounds, that we don't get back, right? We don't get our time back. And so, you know, this episode in particular is for any of you, that, that fear that you've wasted time or that you don't have enough time or that it's not worth it to even try. Because time, you know, we just don't know how much time we have, so why bother? Like, and this is for the people that want but are afraid. And I think time is the gateway, right? Like, you know, how do you actually see simplify when life gets overwhelming? How do you simplify and live into ease and flow when you're here and you want to be here and you don't think there's enough time to make it happen like this, this is for you. Whether you have a business that you want to scale or a dream of relationship and family that you've been longing for and craving, or you have money goals or body goals or you know, relationships that you feel like are broken, break your heart and people that you miss that you're just deciding, you know, it is what it is. And I'm resigned to that, you know, whatever, whatever it is that time is stopping you from committing to pursuing while you still have time left. While you still have time left. That's what I want you to be chewing on in your soul as you're listening today and taking this in and you know, these shows the healing is possible. Experience is meant to be an experiential experience. I'm not just wanting you to listen to me and consume information. I'm wanting you to take and experience the energy of these words of my Presence. And I want you to take it and turn it into light and rocket fuel and hope and possibility for your life and then go, go do something with it, you know, and a big piece of time is knowing what time means to you. And is time even important to you? Maybe it's not. It is to me. And I had to face, you know, multiple life threatening situations that, you know, forced my hand to wake up, live. Rebecca, what are you doing? What? In the actual fuck moments, one life threatening experience after another got me here. And I don't, I don't want that to be the way it has to be for you if it doesn't have to be. And I, and I don't think it has to be. And I'm not here to tell you today how to spend your time or what to do with your time. I'm here to guide you into a new leadership of yourself around your time and with your time. And, you know, one of the big things that I hear over and over and over and over in my personal life and in my private practice from people is, you know, I don't know what else to do. I've tried it all. I don't know what else to do. So I hope that what I'm about to say next offers you some relief because, you know, you being attached to what to do is actually sucking up your time and it doesn't have to be about doing more anymore. And I want you to think about, like, how often have you gone into overdrive, turbo mode, turned up the volume on, you know, doubling down on your efforts and you're doing, and just ended up more exhausted. Like, it didn't, it didn't actually work. It didn't actually close this gap. It just had you in a hamster wheel trying to get from here to here, closing the gap. You know, I just want to invite you to break up with right here, right now, the idea that there's more to do. I think doing is last mindset and strategy is last. And often those are the three things we start with. What do I do? How do I get my mindset right? And what's the how, what's the strategy? And I think all that's important, but only once you are rock solid in who you are being, what's important to you, who you need to be to make that happen, that what is important to you happen. And you know, only from there, when we're fully rooted in our confidence and our commitment to what we're up to and who we have to be to create that do we look at doing mindset and strategy, in my opinion, and this show is about the practice of emotional healing. My life's work is about the practice of emotional healing so that everything can be easy. And I really, really, really know it can. Quick story. This last weekend, my family went to Winter park, and Winter Park Ski Resort is gorgeous. I love living in Colorado. I love being a skier. I love that these mountains are in my backyard and these amazing ski resorts and spades are available to me and my family. Pandemic. Mark and I had not. We'd been together a decade, and we had never skied together before. And in the pandemic, it was his idea to get the family out onto the mountain and to have, you know, one day a week where we went and we skied and we got outside and we were together and we moved our bodies and we got stronger and more connected. And I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful that he had that idea. And he really was the person it took to make it happen. He. He made it happen. He found all of us ski equipment, he bought the passes. He, you know, organized, you know, how it was going to go. And in the pandemic, it was very interesting. I'm used to, you know, ski lodges and. And some kush around skiing. And in the pandemic, there were no lodges. Like, you had to change in your car, you had to bring your own food, you had to, you know, make a day of it in a really organic way. And we did. And our little one was only six, and, you know, she didn't know what she was doing. My oldest was 16 and hadn't snowboarded before and learned like, both the girls had never learned how to ski or snowboard. It was their first time, and it was in a pandemic, and we had to, you know, do everything in the car, and we made it happen. And last year, I remember thinking to myself, this is going to be the hardest ski season we ever have because it's in a pandemic and it's in the car and it's the first one, and the girls don't know what they're doing yet. They both learned really fast. So fast forward now we're in season two of our family ski extravaganzas. And we went to Winter park, and, you know, so much on paper, technically, on Saturday or Sunday, I guess we went on Sunday went wrong. And I cried because I was laughing until I cried at least nine times that I can count. On Sunday, we had everything from the GPS saying hour and 50 minutes to it. Actually taking three hours to get to the mountain. To us almost missing little seven year old Seneca's ski lesson because we just got there in the nick of time. We'd never been to this mountain before. Parking was crazy. So many people. That was just the start of it. Then Seneca in her lesson went rogue and she didn't understand where she was supposed to stop in the ski lesson and got lost at the end of the lesson to the point where they ended up having to take snowmobiles to get this group of kids because the instructor and the kids were so far off course. Because I don't know if literally it was just Seneca, but Seneca and her group definitely got away from the instructor. The instructor found them, but then, you know, they were like an hour late getting back down to the mountain and it took snowmobiles to go get them. My brand new ski boots that I had custom fit because the boots I had last year were so painful that I did like four runs and hung out by the fire in the lodge with a Bloody Mary or two instead for the majority of the day. Like so many of these little things that we could say they're little, we could say they're big, we could say they went right, we could say they went wrong, we could say it was a waste of time. But I think the reason I'm sharing all this with you is because, you know, it's possible to be so excited about how you're spending your time that no matter what shakes out, you're happy, fulfilled and experiencing freedom and more life because of it. Let me just say that one more time. It is possible that, you know, no matter how things are going, in a moment, you were so intentional about what you were doing and you were so excited about what you were doing and you were so all in, in around what you were doing that it doesn't matter how it actually went. You are just enjoying, enjoying, enjoying, enjoying. I want us to think about time like that. You know, we had so much fun and then we learned a lot of lessons that we won't repeat around how we organized our ski day Sunday. But it still was a great day. It wasn't a waste of time. It was a blast. I had so much fun with my family, with my husband, with my daughters. I am so proud of all of us. I am so grateful for that experience. I mean, if you have heard my story before, you heard that I had drop foot in my right leg as the result of the side effects from chemotherapy. I'm not supposed to be able to ski, you know, the, the poor custom boot fitter, which I frickin love by the way. Shout out to annabelle@powder7 in Golden, Colorado for hooking me up. Not just the first fitting, but then I spent yesterday with her four hours yesterday to get the boots adjusted even more for my next experience on the mountain next weekend. You know, and this woman wasn't afraid to take time with me and this woman wasn't afraid to get it wrong until we got it right to keep trying and to have a great time until we got there. And I really think we did. We'll see how this version of the boots works out on the mountain. But you know, Annabelle researched drop foot. As we were looking at what was happening with my feet and my legs on, on Sunday, just two days ago when I was skiing at Winter Park, I had this, this pain just shooting from the top of my foot, throughout my foot, up my calves and I just decided, you know what? Endurance athlete or not, I'm not going to suffer. I absolutely gave up suffering in 20, 21. Absolutely. And man, has it made a difference in how I experience time and how I spend my time. But Annabelle did research on drop foot and she was just like, I can't even believe you can ski. You know, it's a, it's a nerve damage situation and nerve damage. A lot of times people are told can't heal or will be really difficult to heal. And I get to ride the peloton because I used my time to become strong enough to be able to do that. And I believed I could before I could. And I think we don't want to use our time in a way that maybe won't work out when what we could be doing instead with our time is going. I'm going to use my time, I'm going to expect it to work out and I'm going to get unattached to what happens in the middle and I'm going to stay on track with who I'm being, who I'm being, who I'm being, who I'm being. Instead of being so focused on what to do, what to do, what to do, and then disappointed when these short term moments don't actually feel like they're going the way they should be to make me want to keep going. Right? So like, what if we don't need the evidence before we go for it from a place of who we're being because we just want what we want and we know that the only way to actually get what we want is to be the person it takes to get what we want. Right? So Annabelle, she was a rock star, and I'm so grateful. And thank you, thank you. Thank you, Annabelle. I can't wait to see. I mean, this, this woman custom fit these boots to the point where, like, she found this little piece that we put in between my big toe and my second toe right underneath. That's going to be a pressure point. So all the nerve damage and all of the nerve pain can go into a focal point and it doesn't spread out everywhere and hurt me and become excruciating. I mean, she did her research and we got creative. And what if. What if we all spent our time more that way, you know, And I could have decided that Sunday was a lose because, you know, the ski lesson went bonkers and sideways. I only got to do four runs. We ended up in the car for six hours of the day. As much time as we were at and on the mountain or just under, we were in the car, we were tired, we got back late. Like so many things, I could keep going, but you know, know what I decided instead is that it was a huge win. It was a beautiful day. It was a blast. It is one of those days. And, you know, find those days in your life, like, what's a day that you remember that you are never going to forget because it, it just felt the way you wanted it to feel, right? So I want you to be thinking about what does time mean to you? And I want you to find a day that, that even if it didn't go exactly according to plan, it felt how you wanted it to feel. And what if that is our new experience and metric for our relationship with time? Are we, with the time we have in the moment we are in now, feeling how we want to feel, and what if we always can feel how we want to feel in the moments we're in with the time we have? What if that's an option? What if it doesn't have to be so hard? What if it doesn't have to be that we won't commit to going for it in any given moment or a certain amount of time until and unless we know it's going to work out? I mean, I think we're never going to know if it's going to work out. We're never going to know if it's going to work out. And all of the doing, doing, doing to prove that we're trying, trying, trying, I think keeps us from the outcomes that we're looking for. Actually, I think it makes it take longer. You know, I think if we would relax and if we would commit to enjoying and if we would commit to expecting things to work out and knowing that time is a precious resource that isn't worth being stressed out, burned out, exhausted, overworked, over functioning so that we can prove something, we get a new experience of time. And I think, you know, confidence is important here because you can be confident that you do have enough time and you can also be confident that we don't know how much time we have. So use that and use the pandemic. Use the pandemic to measure how you were living, how you are living, and if you weren't in a place of what should I be doing? How should I be spending my time? What should I be focused on? What would you actually want? What actually is important to you now? And I want to again invite you to keep this simple and make this really simple and pick like one or two or three things max, that are important to you now, you know, and. And let's be honest about that. And let's not be thinking about what's important now through a filter of what makes the most sense. What do I think the right answer is again? Mindset, strategy, doing last, not first, and see how that works out. So what's important to you? What's important to you now? I want you to do some soul searching this week, today, what's important to you now? And I don't want you to make a list of 20, 30, 40, 50, 100 things. I want you to just find 1, 2, or 3. And if you're in a place of, like, I have no freaking clue, Rebecca, what's important to me now? If I'm not coming from the energy of what should I be doing? What is the right answer? What makes the most sense? Or even worse, like, what do I think is. Is the best bet? Because it's the most likely to work out. I'm going to play it safe so I don't embarrass myself or fail or risk getting disappointed or rejected or hurt or heartbroken all over again. Do you see how this isn't very powerful energy? And I think a lot of people, no matter how successful they are, and if you're here, you're already very successful. I'm very clear on that. You just might not be feeling that yet or the way you want to be. So again, I want us looking at time as a resource that is available to us all the time as long as we're still alive and breathing and what if the goal of time is how do we feel in the time that we're in, in the moment that we're in, in the time we have? And not so much results driven or validation or proving something driven. See what I mean? So if you don't know what's important to you now with all of that external validation running through your veins, I want to just invite you to play a game with yourself where you listen for your soul whispering at you just one thing, you know, and it can be generic, it can be a category. It doesn't have to be like a super, super, super, super specific result that you know is important to you, like X amount of money in the bank or a relationship status or whatever it is. Like it could just be family, it could be life purpose, it could be health, it could be wellness, it could be love, it could be, you know, getting your home feeling like your home. You wouldn't believe how many people I hear from that tell me their home doesn't really feel homey. I mean, that in and of itself is an amazing place to start, right? Like your, your sacred space. And what if your home is sacred space? Feeling how you want it to feel. And again, what if, what if that is the metric, feeling how we want to feel in these areas of our life. Today we're specifically talking about time is just a new way potentially of approaching it. Or if you've thought about it, maybe you could turn the volume up on paying more attention today this to how you feel with the time that you have. In the time that you know you're in, in your life now and in the moment, how are you feeling? And I will say that how you're feeling in the moment is 100% based on who you're being with the time you have in that moment. It's never, it's just never about like the external made you feel some kind of way, you already felt that some kind of way. And the external stuck its finger in that emotional wound and dug around like that's it. That's all that happened. They are doing what they're doing. I'm not saying they're not. I'm not saying that there aren't people that are behaving badly or that there aren't situations that are really difficult, really scary, really traumatic, really fucking hard. I get it. But you can be, in the time that you find yourself in a version of yourself that isn't worried about doing, that isn't attached to how this goes, but is committed to being the best of you in that moment, because that's what you have control over. And you can be the best of you in this moment while you have very clear intention and focus around where you want your life to go next, again in one to max three areas at the same time. And let your time be spent from that way of being and see how it goes. See how it goes. And let's not wait to commit to how we're going to spend our time until we know it's going to work out or until we know it's not going to upset someone or multiple someones or until we know it's safe like all this. I'm going to address all three of what I just said deeper because that's why I think people wait to commit to using their time to their advantage. That's why they wait to committing, to using their time to get more alive, to get more free, to get more fulfilled, to get more themselves the way they want to be, the way they wish they could be. We don't want to upset anybody. We don't want it to not go well and we fail and we fall flat on our face. And like Brendan Burchard says, you know, everybody's watching. Brendan says people don't want to start because they don't want to see people. They don't want to see people seeing them starting as small in, in the beginning stages. But if, if we don't start, we don't get anywhere, right? So, you know, what if the people that are upset are already upset or already going to get upset about something? So why not just pursue the life you long for and the life you love, knowing they're either going to get over it, they're going to either be supportive, or they're going to end up going away. And none of that's your fault, and none of that's about you. Your life gets to grow and expand and not everyone is going to stay on the path you're on with your. You the way it's been as you grow and expand. But we don't want to leave people behind. We don't want to blow people out. We don't want anybody upset with us. And I'm just going to suggest that the people that really care about you, they want you to be as fulfilled as possible. They want you to get the most out of your life so they will support you. And don't think just because someone has a human reaction, they're not supporting you either. People get to be human. People get to, you know, be confronted by the way it Was isn't the way it is anymore and it's changing. But give people a chance to grow with you and give yourself a chance to grow into being more honest about how you actually want to utilize this precious resource in your life called your time. You know, and the, the other thing is like you, you stepping into fully using your time, fully being real and honest and authentic about how you spend your time, that's never going to hurt anybody, even if they act like it is. It's just their reaction. They're allowed and you are allowed to raise the bar and have a standard of excellence for yourself around how you spend your time. And I just, I just don't want us doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, exhausting ourselves, exhausting ourselves, exhausting ourselves and wondering what happened, you know, with the last year, the last decade, the last 30 years, whatever it is, unnecessarily. I mean, you can. And that's what a lot of people do. But what if it doesn't have to be that way? What if your time is yours? You get to choose how you spend it and you get to know that you used the time you had while you had it to be more alive versus clocks. Tick in and I'll get to it when I get to it. Or I'm just living so asleep at the wheel and unintentionally that I don't even know what just happened because I was just blowing in the wind. I was just at the effect of what I thought I should be doing and what everybody else around me I thought needed me to be doing. And I wasn't really even paying attention to how I was spending my time. I just would love for you to get to a place where again, you don't need a crisis for you to go, well, how do I actually want to live? What if you can just start from where you are, just sit with that and what if we can look at what worked like I am going to do and Mark and I are going to do as a team about our ski day. What worked about it, what needs some fine tuning, what needs to go all together and then we try again from a place of confidence in we're going for it before we know how it's going to work out. You know, I didn't have any evidence that I'd actually be able to walk on this leg again. I didn't have any evidence that I'd be so strong that I could. You know, in what year was it I've. I've been doing physical therapy holistic practices, cranial sacral therapy, kinesiology, chiropractic, all kinds of things for seven years to get this leg back in 2019, I think it was. I did yoga every day. That year, I was strong enough to start to do yoga every day. Then in 2020, I started working with Lisa Briggs at Whitesboro Fit Body Bootcamp. Shout out to Lisa. It's a great gym in the central New York community, and I think they still have virtual classes, but I did in 2020 every single day with Lisa and most of 2021, every single day with Lisa, doing strength training and starting to build my strength with body weight exercises, weights. And then in mid 2021, I bought a peloton, and now I ride that every day. And the thing is, like, if you would have told me when I, you know, quit chemotherapy and was basically the definition of the walking dead, that in 2021, I'd be skiing with my family. In 2022, I'd be riding the peloton. I'm. I'm standing. I have a standing desk. I can stand for this whole broadcast and not hurt. If you would have told me that that was possible, I wouldn't have believed you. I would have hoped. I would have said, well, I'm committed to being whoever I have to be to arrive at that finish line. Even though it feels scary, it feels silly, it feels impossible, but I'm going to go for it like that. That's been. That's been my attitude in building my family, building my health, building my business, building, building my message, my impact. You know, it's. It's never going to be that you wake up one day and the evidence is there, the stars have aligned. It all work. You know, it's a good idea now. I just. If you're going for something great, I just don't think that's ever how it goes or shakes out or going to happen. At least it hasn't been that way for me. The possibility. I wake up one day and I see the possibility in a moment, in a flash, in the blink of an eye, all of a sudden occurs to me. And then I take that and I run with it, and I go, well, what would happen if I went all in, Chips are all in here, and just decided to be the person to feel how I want to feel, Even in the moments that trip me up, scare me, upset me, until I crossed the finish line. I had a I'm going to live, like, I'm going to live attitude with cancer. I had a I'm going to Live like, I'm going to get my leg back attitude with my leg. I just invite you to have a I'm going to live like I have enough time attitude and see how it goes. Because I think we do. And then we know again that time is limited, that time is precious. My first mentor, Carol Reynolds, used to say, like, life's a timed event. And we would do all of these games and exercises on a ropes course that were timed events. And we didn't know how long we had to do the event. And we'd see at the end of the event who won, who lost, who lived, who died, and learn some lessons from it, you know. But I just don't want us having these lessons needing to be so painful, needing to be so harsh, needing to be so ruthless for us to start to question how we're being and who we're being. And I think. I think that's the only thing to question. I don't think we need to question ourselves. I don't think we need to doubt ourselves. I don't think not being confident is that useful or helpful or great for us. I think what we can be confident about is we're still here. We get to be intentional about our lives, especially about our time. And when we're not, we're going to suffer more like. Like that's it. But we don't need to. We don't need it to be so hard. We don't need it to be so hard. And I don't want our time being spent while we're still here unnecessarily learning hard, painful lessons that didn't need to be so hard and painful. Because, you know, life throws us enough curveballs. And I'm not saying we're not going to have hard moments, but we can rise to the occasion of the moments in a new way that we're being in that moment in time and experience life differently and better and easier. I just know that to be true. And you can argue with me or disagree, but if any of this resonates, I want to hear from you. I want you to tell me what resonates. How does this resonate? What are you seeing for yourself in terms of how you've been spending your time and what's possible for you now? I would love to know. Because your time is precious, and you are precious. And again, there's no wrong way and there's no right way to spend your time, to live into your time. You know, there's just what works. And there are going to be plenty of moments where you go that didn't really work, or I don't want to do that again. But it doesn't need to be an experience of embarrassment or you screwed up. Are you beating yourself up to force your hand at doing something different? You know, and I don't want us going, I have wasted time, or I'm afraid to waste time, because you haven't. One of my favorite quotes is Maya Angelou's when you know better, do better. And I think doing better means being better. I don't think it's actually about the doing at all. I think who you're being, you always get to put under a magnifying glass and the microscope, and there's always parts of how you're being and who you're being in a moment that are excellent and exceptional and working always. There's always good stuff happening. I swear to you. You just haven't been looking for it if you're not seeing it. And then there are some things that we would maybe not want to repeat in terms of what we were doing or how we were experiencing that moment. And I think all that is good news. And I think, you know, when we know better, we can do better. And none of this is meant to be more ammunition that you get to use against yourself. It's all meant to free you up, to give you time back, to give you life back, to give you you back so that you can take your life back. That's the point. And, you know, I think time is precious. I think we have so much more of it than we recognize. I just see people so worried, anxious, depressed. It's all very, very, very, very real. But what if we could be who it takes to start to get some relief? What if we could be more committed to pursuing and chasing and designing the lives we want with the time we have and see how that changes our experience of the darkness that we've been feeling and facing and that's been choking us to death. Because I know. I know it's all real. And I'm not. I'm not being an idealist here. I'm being a realist. That you could raise the bar, that you could step up your game around who you're being and how you're being and how you're spending your time and get a new experience of life. I just. I just believe it and, you know, again, prove me wrong. But there's not a rule book when it comes to your time. And I think we've been. We've been living in a rule book that we didn't even write. And so if we expect this is the way it is, or this is how it has to be, or this is the way it's going to be, and just accept that, I think it kills your vibe. I think it squanders your time. And again, I just don't think it has to be that way. I think you get to design the rulebook for your life around how you spend your time. And, you know, it can be baby steps and simple. I don't want you to overwhelm yourself. I just. I want you to start with thinking about, well, what does time mean to me and how am I spending my time now? And if I was really honest, if there were no obstacles, or if there wasn't the potential of people being upset or, you know, me failing on and falling on my face in front of everybody while I'm trying, or whatever your fears are that are in the way that you're trying to protect yourself from, you know, if there were no obstacles, what is actually important to me and how would I spend my time if I was really honest about what's important to me? And if, as you're answering these questions, you're like, I'd be doing exactly what I'm doing. I'd be living exactly how I'm living. Awesome. Well, what's the next thing for you? But if you're answering these questions and you feel the disconnect, because I think that's ultimately why there's a gap, right? There would be no gap between where we are and where we want to be if we were really honest and if we were really using. Using our time to, you know, live into what's really important to us. There would actually be no gap. Right. Truth bomb. If there's a gap, it's because we're not being who we would need to be to be experiencing what we want to be experiencing. And so it's time to get more honest. And again, the mindset, the strategy, the doing the hows, I think, prevent us from closing this gap because it kind of keeps what we're wanting farther away. And if we can live into the time we have now, like, nothing is wrong. We haven't done anything wrong. There's nothing to prove. We just get to live how we want to live while we're here. Again, my hope is that that offers you some relief. My hope is that this is, like, really good news for you. What if you don't have to do what you don't want to do anymore? What would that Be like, you know, and once you've gotten aligned with who you want to be and how you want to spend your time, you know, there is a lot to do, but it doesn't have to be exhausting. Like the doing for me almost. It just almost feels effortless at this point. I don't think about. I have to figure anything out. What do I have to do? I think about, what's the next step? What's the next step? And there is technically doing as I'm taking these steps, but it doesn't feel like work. It doesn't feel like doing. It doesn't feel like hard, I guess is what I'm saying. It just, again, doesn't have to be so hard. And when you're upset, when you're confronted along the way, which of course is going to happen, you. You don't have to spend your time in those moments the way you're used to spending time either. Like my. Again, back to Carol Reynolds, that first mentor. She said, like, have a good victim cry, Have a good victim meltdown, but give yourself five minutes. Minutes. What if that's possible? You know, what if it doesn't have to take as long as we think it does? What if it doesn't have to take as much time as we think it does? What if we can pivot quickly? I mean, vulnerable share here. I mean, there were so many days where I did Waistboro Fit Body Bootcamp from home, you know, on my computer, live streaming, and I was in a nightgown because I just knew how much time I had and I just was going to get it done. I was going to spend my time being the person that completed that workout. Like, I just. I operate from this possibility that there is enough time and it doesn't need to look a certain way. And I think it gives me a ton of time living like that. So what's it going to be for you? And back to the upside. You know, when you get upset, there's always a reason why. And I think it's always because somewhere along the way, you weren't being who you wanted to be. We can blame the other people. And again, yes, they can, you know, very, very much be actually doing what they're doing. I'm not saying they're not, but. But you don't have to give them all of this power to derail you and to take your. Your life and the time you've got in it away from you. You know, back to my little one. Last week, I picked her up from aftercare at school. And we were on our way to karate and I had heard that she had been sad in the after school program. So I asked her about it and she said, you know, mom, sometimes you just have a bad day and you get to just have a bad day. And today was one of those days. I just had a bad day. Like, this went wrong and that went wrong. And then I just had a bad day. And we talked about it and did say to her, of course you get to have a bad day, honey. Of course. You know, there are going to be moments that don't feel great. But what if just because there's a moment, it doesn't feel great? You don't actually have to have the whole day become a bad day. Like, what if we don't have to have bad day? What if we just have upsets and we move through them and then we keep going about our day the way we want to? And I don't know how much of that resonated with her, but I hope what I'm saying is resonating with you on some level. You can have bad days if you want, or bad years or bad decades or bad experiences in a position at work for as long as you want to. But what if you have the power to go, this is a moment that doesn't have to define me. And this is a moment where historically, I go into a habit of handling it XYZ way. But what if I could try something new this time? What if I could do a different dance step? What if I could set a timer for five minutes, let me feel all the feels, let myself, you know, validate and defend, you know, all of the horseshit, and then timer goes off. Who am I going to be now? You know, if you're living into the time you have the way you want to, what else is there? That is life. That is you living your life. That is you making your difference and modeling that as a possibility for other people. That's you going. Nothing outside of me gets to define how I choose to spend my time. And I always get to choose how I spend my time. And I always get to choose what's the most important to me. And from there I get to look at how I'm going to spend my time. And all of that's available to me always, in all ways. And I choose to believe that's true, that I have enough time. And I am very clear that I have enough time until I don't. And I'll never know when that moment is, you know, And I. I don't want it to be life threatening scares that force your hand and I don't want it to have to be hard and tedious and exhausting this conversation of time. And I just want to invite you to consider that all the life you've lived and all the moments and all of the ways you spend your time and everything that happened and it happened and you have plenty of time left. I coach a gentleman that has stage four cancer and he's in his 70s and he still wants things and he gets to have them. And we're looking at designing the life that he has left however he wants it from the perspective of there's plenty of time, which is different than how he was thinking before. He has gotten more done in the past three months coaching with me than maybe in the last five, 10 years from this perspective. I think we got a lot done already and we can get more done from a place of we have enough time and how are we using our time and are we being honest and are we actually spending our time the way we want to than we ever will by trying to push the envelope? Pressure cooker, you know, do, do, do task, task, task, results, results, results, results, results. You know, our way through our lives. My company inspired Results is about being in spirit. It's about the highest version of you showing up to the party called your life. Moment to moment, regardless of results, you know, and I was for a very long time super results driven. And it's just, it's really just since the healing is possible, mission and movement was born that I'm, I'm less about results and I'm all about how am I experiencing my life and my time. And then, I mean, if you're watching me, the results are kind of off the charts. I mean, and I can't even believe how many results have happened since birthing this healing as possible. Mission and movement. And that's frosting and I'm very grateful and I was super committed to all of it. But I'm telling you, it's been the being that made those results happen. It's been my relationship with time that's making the results happen. Right. We've got a book coming out from a major publishing company in October that I, I wrote. We've got me on the Denver News as a guest part regularly every single month. We've got so many cool things happening. The healing is possible. Women's weekend happened in January of 22 in a pandemic. I've got a new course that I am filming in just two weeks that oh my God, I'm so frickin proud of and so excited to share with all of you. So much has happened, but I've just been really clear about how I want to live and what I want out of my life for me and from that place I get to be of tremendous service to you. I want you to just think about how this applies, you know, when you turn it back around towards yourself, like how much more of service and of value would you be to people from a relaxed state of being excited about your life, excited about how you're living your life and just really honoring the time you have. You know, you are the Oz behind the curtain. You are the choreographer and the director and the main character here of your life. And I have kind of a fun final thought and homework assignment. Lots of questions for you to be reflecting on, journaling about voice texting to yourself around from today's broadcast. But I would love for you to pick a theme song, a main character theme song for your life that just reminds you who you are, what's possible for you and how much time you still have. And you do. And let's not wait to live into our time and let's not only if and when all of the stars align and everything is perfect. Choose to go for it. Let's go for it now. Start from where you are, as cliche as it sounds. And again, pick like one thing, two things, three things max, that you know are super, super, super important to you right now. But let that one north star be your guiding light, be your guidance as. As you just live more and more and more and live into being more and more and more of the you that you want to be. And we do need you healed so you can make your difference in the time that you have, in the time that's available to you. And I'm so excited for you and I'm so proud of you. And music's really important to me. So I'd love to know what your song is. I'd love to know why that song is important to you. But most of all, you know, make it your alarm in the morning when your phone goes off. That song, you know, make it a song that in the moments where you feel shaky on your feet and the upsets are really happening, you've got that song available to snap you into new possibility. You know, you don't need to be snapped out of every anything or everything. You just, you get to live into your time in a new way. And I think that's what closes the gap. And that's what has us living as the most free and powerful version of ourselves and getting getting the most out of our lives. Again. The healing is possible and experience is brought to you by me, your host Rebecca Silence and my team and rebeccasilence.com where there are tons of resources, tons of opportunities to work with me. If you would like to set up a call with me this week to talk about the difference makers, my new just group community where you get individual coaching with me plus group coaching and training plus my whole seven part emotional survival kit curriculum and Healing is Power Possible curriculum to live your life as free and fulfilled as you possibly can. It's a three month program. If you want to talk I won't try to sell you. I just want to talk to you if you're even a little bit interested because this program is so freaking good and what a great way to invest in your life and to use your time if you feel called and we definitely invite you also if you would like to come on the Healing as Possible experience with me and do some live coaching that will help you that's free. That will also help all of our community man reach out. All right and I will be back same time, same place. Tuesdays 10am Mountain with the healing as possible experience. This one has been all about letting go of attachment to how you're spending your time. Letting go of attachment to what you think you need to do so you can get your time back. It's been an honor. Healing is possible. The darkness is real and and so is the light. And I just I love and adore you. Thank you for tuning in. Of all the ways that you could be spending your time, thank you for being here with me today. I'd love to hear what this episode meant to you and what your takeaways are. Reach out. I'm here for you. Love you so much and I will see you very, very soon. Thanks everyone.