Healing IS Possible for the World | Heal Emotionally, Physically, Mentally, and in Relationships

Hey, everybody, it's Rebecca Silence with another edition of the healing is possible hot seat, where it gets hot, it gets sticky, and we just take on healing and what's in the way. Every week, the hot seat is brought to you by my team and rebeccasilence.com where there are resources from free to premium to help you with your healing journey. Definitely. Check out revolution rebeccasilence.com today in the hot seat, we have the incredible Heather Steele, owner of Legacy training International, one of my mentors and biggest influences of my life, friend and colleague as a coach and facilitator of a curriculum that actually helps people heal. We talk about healing as a concept, and then we can actually heal. We have had Heather on the show before, but today we are just taking a deeper dive and a more personal dive into a conversation about healing. Heather, welcome and thank you so very much for being here.

Thank you. I am really excited to be here. I love doing this with you. I think it is so fun for you to ask me questions and I get to answer. Let's go.

So much is happening right in the world with healing emotionally and physically. And some people may not know. I just want to dive right in. You had Covid you for 40 days, and I just want to start with that. What was your experience like 40 days of COVID and what do you want people to know about healing based on that experience that you had?

This is a loaded question. I, you know, I prided myself being in personal development for so long and coming from an environment where our family was focused on health.

We.

I had a mom who was super healthy and a dad who had great genetics. And so I didn't really think that I was at risk for Covid. I also had an amazing seminar right before I got Covid with an amazing team. So it was a really high vibration. And when I got Covid, I knew when I got it immediately I actually know who gave it to me. I actually felt it. I'm super sensitive, and I just thought that I would shake it, and I didn't. I even flew to Santa Cruz at one point because my test came back negative. And I didn't think that I had it it, but intuitively I knew that I did. So, I mean, I just, I had this journey with COVID of like, is it real? Why did I get it? Did I create it? Was I not careful enough? But when it got really dark and really bad, there was a moment where I couldn't breathe at all. Like, I really, really was struggling to breathe, and I was, you know, Being spoken to about going on a ventilator, which brought up a ton of fear. And in that moment, I just kind of went into a deep dive, my life, because I started realizing, you know, whether it's a virus or whether it's a negative relationship or whether it's a moment of fear, there's. There's this precious thing called our life. And we just have, like, just. Just a tiny, tiny bit of it. And I just started going into a deep dive of what was my life about? And whether I died of COVID or not, what was my life about? So my healing journey was actually just taking a deep dive into gratefulness and going into breath. And so for me, you know, I don't know what it's like for everyone, but for me, I decided to make up a Disney story. I really did. I decided that I was underwater. I'd had a nurse tell me that I was having enough air that was, like, through a straw. So I kind of went down there with Nemo, and there was a coral reef, and I went over to the coral reef and I pretended there was a magical straw until the boat with all the rescue scuba divers were going to come down and get me. That magical straw was my lifeline. I just turned that straw into the most important breath ever. I kept thinking, it's enough. This is actually enough. If I was really underwater and I just had this little straw, it was enough. I started to notice the fish and the octopus and the coral that transposed into the cat that was in my room with me and the eyes of the cat. And in a weird way, I just got calm. Now. My logic was saying, while you are now losing oxygen to your brain, so you're making up stuff. And, I mean, I had that part of my brain as well. But for me, getting Covid was just a deep dive into Am I going to suffer and be crazy scared, or am I going to find something inside of myself worth focusing on? And it was breath, and it was the mystery. The mystery of life. I mean, we're all worried about COVID now, and we're all worried about, you know, when our teenagers drive, and we're all worried about so many things, and then, you know, like, you know, I mean, your journey of healing is one of the greatest stories I've ever heard and been a part of. You know, cancer happens when you're pregnant. Like, to who? To you, Rebecca? You know, Covid happens to me. And I was, like, super careful and really strong and healthy. Yeah, it does. So, I don't know, just Appreciation, gratefulness. And I feel so lucky because so many people didn't. Didn't do as well.

Yeah. And you also have a really interesting take on problems. I feel like as access, one of the things I think about all the time when I can't feel or find solution or possibility. I remember you saying, what do I have access to in this moment? And it's so ingrained in me now. And it definitely was something that carried me through during cancer. And yes, your support during that journey was game changing. And you've been a part of my healing journey along the way. That it does at times feel seems surreal. Is this really real? But it. But it was. But I want you to speak to, if you would, your perspective on problems and how they give us access and are there even really problems?

That's good. That's good. You know, I come from a family of actors and kind of theatrical people, dramatic people, a lot of artists. And I wrote a seminar once, and it was about, are you living life as a prophet or you just get moved around like a broom on the stage? Or are you living life as an actor, being told what to do and doing the right role and that inauthentic part of yourself to please everybody else? Or are you the director, somebody who actually is a little more authentic, but also still directing a play that potentially someone else wrote? Or are you the producer, the one who's funding the program? Or are you the writer? And my experience of healing and problems is, you're all of it. And which one do you want to focus on? So when you focus on, gosh, I'm writing this story of COVID 19. Maybe it's a Disney film. I'm writing this story of going through a divorce. Maybe it's the most beautiful divorce in the world, the greatest love story. I'm going through cancer. What's my story there? Maybe you're the writer, maybe you're the producer, maybe you're the prop. And for me, I don't like being the prop. So when that shows up in my life and I feel like I'm a broom on a stage or, you know, something just being placed, I really get into the thought, this is a problem. Me being a prop is a definite problem because it's not fun, I'm not happy. But if I was the producer of this or a director, or even a co director, who would be in my space and what conversations would I be having and how would I think about it differently now? There's no guarantee. Like, I never knew how Covid would Turn out. I don't know how today will turn out, but there's something about. I had a good, really good friend, I was telling you earlier that said, you know, they live how they go out. And, you know, I don't want to go out screaming and suffering and talking about how horrible the world was. I'd rather go out going, oh, my God, I had that moment in Covid with Nemo or I had that moment with Rebecca. Silence when I'm yelling, you know, get up. And I know a lot of the community knows your journey, but I feel like I got to be there with you. I feel like that's one of the most magical moments of my life, is to be with someone who's now doing this amazing program, this amazing platform. And all the times you've shown up, Rebecca, in my seminars, all the times you've come and changed a student's life forever. I don't know. Just to be in that moment with you in cancer and to be with my own moments, whether it was a car accident where I'm running with a baby that happened to me, or whether it was abuse, which has also been something in my story. Just learning that in this moment, I can be a prop or in this moment, I can produce something different versus what?

Like, seeing the problem as a wall you can't get over.

Oh, well, yeah. So, you know, I think people do have problems. You know, when you have a goal or a dream and you have problems, but, you know, when you look at it like a puzzle, it's more like something to solve, and it's more fun and challenging versus that it's happening to you. So, you know, if we were. If we look at the world as. As we're all in our own bumper cars, we would be laughing as we bumped into each other. I always think about that, like, when I love bumper cars, and I just, like, you know, like, I try to bump into everybody.

Like, I just.

That's all I'm doing, is I don't even know where we're going in bumper cars. I just want to bump the artist. But if it's a traffic jam and I need to get to the airport, I'm, like, having fun. So just getting into that mindset, like, what's the difference between the bumper car and me getting to the airport? It's just a game. We're in a game. I don't mean to minimize suffering. I think there is real suffering. But those of us in America, particularly, we have less suffering than some. And those of us that have enough Time in our day to watch this show. We have less suffering than some. And those of us who can talk right now, me, you, we have less suffering than some. So, you know, that's enough. We're enough to solve our problems, to have fun with our problems and to look at life as a bumper car, not as some sort of stopping of our life.

I literally did bumper boats with Mark and girls yesterday and it was hysterical. Seneca, the six year old met another six year old in line. So they were in their own boat and none of us could get them back. They were just shooting everybody with the water and they just had the best time and they met in a moment and they'll never see each other again. And it was this magical moment and we were all bumping around and I really, this is like a big love fest today. But I really can't thank you enough for helping me make cancer a game I could win. I didn't know it could be a game and we made it that. And it was hell and it was awful and it was painful, but it was always, if I was still breathing, I could still win that game. It wasn't more powerful than my ability to commit. Whether it was real or not that I could live through it. I was going to live like I was going to live. And what if we could all do that?

Yeah.

Live like you're gonna live. Live like it's a game.

Yeah. You know, I can't. I think you are the. I feel like it was something you said about beliefs. I can't, I can't remember who said it now. I think it might have been you. But you know, when you have beliefs that take you to fear, you might want to look at them. You know, I have people that have died. I've been, been privileged to be a part of, of a death passage. And some, you know, are really scared. Whether they hang on forever because they're scared or whether they suffer because they're scared. And you know, there's something about what belief has. You hang on past your body suffering. Does that, does that serve anyone? You know, what are the beliefs that we're following? What beliefs are we following politically? What beliefs are we following about healing? And I wanted to just, you know, since we just have a short amount of time, I wanted to talk to you about, you know, in a relationship, how do we heal a relationship?

Let's go here. Yes.

And then world and then the other one is body. So, you know, I really do believe that when you are healed, you can even be with the most obnoxious of people and they can feel to love. Not in a better than not, not in waiting for them to catch up, but just fully looking at their bumper car experience. You know, I mean, people are amazing. And when. When you are seeing everyone in your life as just lovely and that little, you know, like, I have a Wind Riders kids camp and I like kind of looking at people sometimes like I do the kids because they're so cute. And if you have your own triggers, of course you got to work out your own stuff because nobody really makes you miserable. And so, you know, you might need to learn boundaries and you might need to learn communication, and you might not know why you keep setting up the same pattern. Get a good coach, a good one, you know, and you will figure it out, believe me. I mean, we set so much up. But even if you are in a relationship with somebody who won't heal with you, if you just are healed, if you're the producer and you notice that maybe they're a prop or they need a good director or they're an actor, that's just consciousness. They just aren't quite playing the same game as you. But you can actually have healed relationships whether the other person is wanting to heal or not. And then when I think about body, that's a scary one. When you had cancer, it was really interesting coaching you because, you know, Covid cancer, like, who knows, right? But I remember thinking, I really did think about this when I was coaching you. I thought, if she dies, I am not going to be the coach and friend that has her not live all the way to it. And you had that baby inside of you, and you had that darling little girl and your husband and, you know, it was not easy. And so to me, it was like, it would have been better for us yelling and screaming at each other on the phone and talking and that connection. And slowly but surely, you. You did it, man. And you. You did it. I mean, you hired every healer. You did everything you could against all odds. You. Nobody stopped you. Nobody stopped you. And I loved being, you know, with you in that. Not everybody has that. Not everybody has that love for life. And I think it's because they don't have healed relationships. You were already about healing relationships well before you had to take on body. So I am too. I have some stuff that I want to heal with my body, and my body will work with me or not, But I mean, nothing serious, but I mean, I just like to lose weight. I'd like to do this. I'd like to do that with my body, I'm 56, and my body will work with me as much as I work with it. And then I don't know if you want to go here on worldview, but I see the same thing. You know, I had a really great facilitator once say, why are you talking to everybody that already agrees with you? The only real difference you can make is with the enemy.

Yeah, yeah, right.

Like, you know, it's so easy to talk to you. We basically agree on pretty much everything, you know, and probably the community watching this. We all agree that we should heal, we should love, we should. Should give our gifts, we should give our talents. We should be a community. We should care about each other like we all agree. But do you have the healing as possible principles in you with the person who doesn't think that way, with the person who's really angry or the person who's really harmed? Are you a healer in that situation, in a worldview?

And I want to work backwards. I have a few thoughts about everything you just said. I think it's all gold. But, you know, I think in the beginning of my career, I was thinking it was my job to get people to get certain things. And I just want to clarify what you're saying there, because being a space of healing with people wherever they are, in your own possibility is different than trying to get someone somewhere when where they are is perfect on their soul journey. So I just want to make that. That clear.

Okay, so this is a really. This is why I want to talk about the world. So depression, suicide, children getting drugs and alcohol way earlier. The way we are operating as a society is very different now. You know, I'm talking to you through a computer. Our kids talk to everybody through a phone. We talk to everybody through a phone. And honestly, if you look back in nature, we never were the biggest and the strongest survivors ever. But we had one thing. We had each other. We came together as a group and as a tribe and as a community. And we won. We built buildings. We took over the animals, the water. We as community and as a social system, interdependent on each other, actually win. There's something to be said that technology could help us do that, especially if it cleans the oceans. But there's also something to be said that this is the most disconnected time that we've ever been. This is the most disconnected that we've ever been. And in that disconnection, we lose a lot of power, and we lose a lot of power in healing. So, you know, I Feel like this program's super good and more programs like it need to happen. Because right now we are a society that gets along more with the phone than we do with each other. So I just think remembering that we. We're a numbers game. We have to be here with each other, and that's what makes us strong. We're not the strongest animal in the forest, and we may not even be the smartest, especially if we are blowing ourselves out with resources. The biggest resource we have besides our own mind, body, spirit, is each other. So healing is possible when we come together.

Yeah. And you teach in Legacy Training International. That connection is the number one key ingredient to possibility. And then I would stretch that into healing as well. And I think you bring up great points that relationships can heal, even if it's just you healed with you so that you can give all of your love and see this person is healed and whole and the greatness in them no matter what. And I think that is the name of the game. How do you stay connected when it gets dark? How do you stay connected when you want to run? How do you stay connected when it feels like it's the other person, really, that's causing you all the suffering or a situation or a diagnosis, but you can. You can stay connected even when you'd rather not? And I think that brings our lives to a whole new level of healing.

Yeah. So, Rebecca, this is really personal for me because I've had people in my life who struggle with depression and then self medication and depression is so misunderstood. You can't motivate someone through depression. Like you said earlier, as a coach, we don't go in hopefully and try to fix it for them, but that ability to be with someone in their depression while they decide whether or not they're going to go a medical route or a counseling route or seminars, that depression is really part of a mental wellness game that I think gets medicated too fast, fast and gets quick fixed too fast. And so when. When you talk about healing as possible for the person with a mental illness, for a person who's really, really harmed with. You know, you and I were lucky. We healed through seminar work. We didn't. We didn't actually heal online. We didn't actually heal even in coaching sessions. We healed most profoundly. If I could speak for both of us in retreat, in seminars, in community, and I realize you are offering another women's retreat this January, which everyone should go to. I do legacy training for coaches. You guys who want to be a.

Coach, you should do it.

We keep trying to offer as many retreats as possible. Challenging in a pandemic, but it is so important. What does a retreat do or a seminar? It brings people together in group. And so for that depressed person, for that person who's using, I would say if all of you out there that want healing as possible for a loved one or even yourself, get into group. I mean, AA is free. We offer great seminars and incredible retreats. Find a group. We are social beings. We are community. And the separation is the issue. We start thinking we're separate in thought. I think different than you. We think that my body's different than you. I came from a worse background than you are or a better background than you. All of a sudden we're looking at an enemy in every corner and we're the same. There's really not much difference in any of us, even the most brilliant of people. Brendan Burchard, the seminar you and I went to talked about it is like a very small difference in exceptional. So I don't know if that's the direction you wanted to go, but I feel like when we say healing is possible, those of you listening, you're thinking maybe of your own healing, but take it further, take it to relationships, take it to the world. And I will say that without the ability to work in group and love and see love in yourself and other people, no matter what the difference is, healing becomes more painful, more wounded. Yeah.

And I just. I can't agree more. We do heal more in community. And the seminar work for me anyway. I'll speak for myself is where I got to meet and embrace that. I do have a dark side, and that's different than the darkness that I experienced in my life along the way. Starting early in childhood and in group, you really can't run away from as evolved as you are in that moment. And you get leapt into a new level of self responsibility and of really getting to see, are you giving, Are you taking? Are you caring enough? Are you again, for me, like landing it? How much you care or are you misunderstood? Like, life is a seminar. I think another big part of how I got through cancer is I treated it like a seminar. It's easy to be who you want to be when everything's going well and life's great. But then what when everything starts to feel like it's falling apart? Or what if your worst abandonment issues or fears show up in group? Well, I would just encourage everyone. Don't avoid group because you don't want to feel that. Get into group so you can heal through it. Yeah.

You know, you talking like this made me think about some of the people in my life that don't know that they're a producer. They think they're a prop. So if you are lucky enough to get that, you're in the co creative game with other people and you have people in your lives that maybe haven't had that thought or that awakening or haven't had that connection. You can't, you can't make a prop become a producer until the healing does occur. So it takes time. We heal with time. And I know for a fact that some of my clients that have struggled with depression, it's sometimes me just intuitively knowing to get on the phone with them whether they have a session or not. That movie where Dreams May Come with Robin Williams, I love that, you know, where the woman is going down into this darkness and he goes and just sits with her. I think through the pandemic and through this time that we've been in the last couple years and we're going into this new variant and just so many things, it's really easy for all of us that are doing better than some socioeconomically. We have families that are working. Let's not forget that. That's not everybody. That's not everybody. And if they're ever listening to us, they may not even be able to relate to what we're talking. I do think it's important to say, you know, you really were losing your hair and dying of cancer. That's really true. And you were really pregnant with that. And it's hard to convey that when you're so vibrant and lovely and healing as possible and you're so magical now. But I was there and you were really unhealed in that moment. And I really drove off a cliff with a nine month old and ran for miles with a broken leg and arm and bleeding and three years of surgeries late, like that really happened. I mean, so those of us that are saying healing is possible, please don't, don't dismiss that. Maybe we've been through some things and I don't want to talk about those things as if they define me, but I think it's important for people who are really, really struggling to know that, you know, you gotta, you gotta connect with somebody, whether it's your church, whether it's a coach, whether it's emailing myself even, or Rebecca. I mean, if we, if we can work with you, great. If we can't, we will find resources. I mean, we, we are up to this for the rest of our lives. I mean, if you get anything out of being really down, if you get anything out of being down, you get that you can get up. And once you get up, you want to help everyone get up, up. Right. You want to give it away. So, I mean, I know we're saying a lot of words, but we have a world that doesn't know that it needs each other, and we have bodies that we need to be better to, and we need to love unconditionally, and we have people that maybe we think we can't even stand, that if we did the work of our own transformation, we could walk into a room and they could feel a it. Anyway, healing is possible as long as you decide it is. Yeah.

And will you speak while we still have some time here about what you were saying about what we set up? Because I think, man, is that an amazing tool to have under our belt. But I don't want that to get confused with people thinking something's happening and they caused it or it's their fault. You said to me more times than I can even comprehend or count, you didn't cause the cancer. You're not going. Going to heal the cancer. Rebecca, you would say that to me probably every phone call. And there was so much relief that I would just feel pouring through me every time you would say that, because I had so much fear and guilt and shame and, oh, my. Like, how did this happen? How did I get here? What did I do or what didn't I do? So I do want you to speak to what you mean about what we set up, because I think it's really important.

Okay, I'm going to do that. But you just had me remember something. When you got cancer, we also had three other legacy coaches get cancer the same year. And I was sitting in a breast exam. Very young women. Yeah. And I was sitting in a breast exam in the. In the waiting room. And I remember looking on the wall of all these posters and everything of, you know, check, check your breasts, and breast cancer is number one killer. Whatever. And I got that thing. Oh, gosh, I, you know, I hope I don't have it. And I literally heard in my head, who would you have have it? Would you have your friends have it? So I said to myself, I am willing to have whatever. I would rather not, but I am willing. And that's kind of what I did when I had Covid. I am willing to have Covid. I'd rather not. And I remember even going inward about setting it up, up. I Did all that mind game of did I forget to wear a mask? Did I not use enough hand sanitizer? I mean, whatever, right? And I just thought, you know what?

It's here.

We have a virus, and it's more than just Covid. We have a virus of the mind. Covid is another way for everybody to separate the vaxxers, the non vaxxers. You know, politics. It's a consciousness of black and white, light and dark. And so for me, did I set it up, up? I set it up by being human. We have a dark side and we have a light side, and we see the light and dark in each other. But when we decide to make it a war, instead of a willingness to be with it, we have separation. And so I would say, be connected to the dark, be connected to the virus. What do we need to learn from it? Why is it here? What can it teach us? Be connected to cancer, be connected to a divorce, be connected to poverty. And then, you know, have a strong preference not to suffer. But healing is possible when the willingness to be with the unhealed, is possible when the willingness to be with what we don't think serves us is possible. In that willingness, we can start to see solutions and we can make up magical coral reefs and magical Disney fish. If I was going to die, what a way to go. I was in a Disney film, you know, and you, you know, you were talking to me and the people that loved you and your daughters. So, I mean, we're here for a very short time, and healing is possible. When we get that, we're not healed, but we are. But we are healed. So do we set it up? Yeah, we set it up. You're walking around being nasty and judgmental and thinking that, you know, you've got an agenda, you're setting that up. And you know what? The world has a way of coming and slapping you around and saying, whatever.

And I think we set up where we go from here. Are we going to be leading and living into more possibility and more giving and more healing? Or are we going to be using the hard stuff as an opportunity to back off the best of ourselves that we could be in the world and there is no right, there is no wrong. We have all made a million mistakes, but we don't set up the circumstance, but we do set up where we go from here. And healing is always available to all of us being more emotionally, physically in our relationships with our bodies. I cannot say enough about how important it is for people to honor their bodies. I could be eating My body up for having cancer, I could be going, holy shit, this baby got to live. I got to live because of this body being the body that was. Was navigating its way through the cancer, and it's all possible. So we set up where we go from here, and it's a choose your own adventure game. This way.

Well, I like that. May I leave you with maybe three things that aren't actually mine that have got me through healing. Yeah. The first one actually comes from landmark education, Warner Earhart. And it's the concept of no matter what struggle you're in, no matter what's going on, on, who are you going to be? If there was a book being written about you in this moment, who are you going to be? Are you going to be the one about the love and possibility? Are you the one about, you know, giving more than you take, or are you going to be the taker? And it's not right or wrong, just when you wake up to who you're going to be, you know, you got more choices than when you just offer, when you're just reacting. So that, that, that. That work is really instilled in landmark work. And then, you know, Byron, Katie and Eric Plattenberg, great, great teachers also, they talk about, you know, the opposite. Like, why is this great? This is a crisis. I think, you know, what the Richard Bach said, what the caterpillar calls a crisis, the butterfly calls a miracle. So, you know, I love that saying. I think I have it on my Facebook page because I love it so much. It's like, I' you know, maybe you're a butterfly. So I don't want to minimize crisis, but what's good about it? What did you set up? What didn't you set up? And then finally, this is a game I play. And I don't know if it's real or not, but I think it is. If everyone in your life came in to this life with you to help you play out your greatest gift, then how is that one person in front of you that's driving you nuts, Teaching you patience, love, kindness, a way to think outside the box. If you see everybody as like a guardian angel in front of you, you listen more. And when you listen, they feel heard. And when they feel heard, you're connected. And in that connection, healing is possible.

Thank you for always growing with me and just loving me through all the moments. Heather, it's so much of you I'm so proud of. All that we've created together, all that you're doing, and all of the Healing and growth that our relationship has had over the years is a miracle.

We're going to do a women's workshop on that one.

I love it.

Right? Seriously. I mean, women need to learn how to love and support each other through difficult things. And you and I have been through, you know, teacher, student, client, coach, friends, your kids, your marriage, my marriage, my kid. Honestly, just. And money and, you know, whether we're good enough. Competition, dark, light. I mean, it's been just. It's gold. It's gold. It's got to be written. I'm not even kidding. I know you're doing your retreat, but we got to write. How do you really support another woman, especially in leadership? Because women leaders are so, so needed, and it is not easy. I had a transgender client who, you know, verified my gosh, just because I became a woman, you know, am I now stupid? And I don't know anything. I mean, this was, like a brilliant person who's now a woman. And I'm not saying that. That everybody has that experience. And I used to go like this. No, women don't have any discrimination. Because I'm a woman. I couldn't be with it because I wanted to go to the child top, but statistically, it's a little bit harder. Climb still. And so women coming together is another healing as possible that we really, really want to stand for.

Let's do it. Heather, how do people get a hold of you? Thank you for today.

Oh, thank you for asking. I always forget the best way to get a hold of me is heathersteel.com if you just email me. And then the second best way is you can text me or call me at 303-941-9693, but I prefer email because then I can get it in my calendar and get back to you.

I like to write writer, so she'll. She'll write you back some good. Thank you for tuning in today. The healing is possible. Hot seat again. Please check out Rebecca Silence.com like and subscribe to the Rebecca Silence YouTube channel. And just stay tuned for more healing and we are better together. So thank you for being part of this healing as possible family. Thanks again, Heather, and we will see you all soon.

Okay, thank you.