Healing IS Possible LIVE Hot Seat Breakthrough Coaching! Owning Your Worth

Is about owning your worth and getting what you want in the hot seat. We take 30 minutes with a brave volunteer and it gets hot and it gets sticky and the goal is to create movement through stuck energy, emotion, beliefs. And with that being said, I want to just dive right in and welcome our incredible guest, Lakeish Corbett, who just had a birthday. She began a new decade and she is here ready to start start this new decade out strong. Lakeisha, welcome to the hot seat. I'm so honored to have you.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

Yeah, tell us why you're here and what you want to receive out of this experience.

Yeah, I feel like I've been like seeing your post for a while in this hot seat and I'm like, oh, this is so cool, I want to get in on this. And then I set it up for us to do it and it was like going to be right after my birthday and I was like so excited about my birthday and all this stuff. And then my birthday came and I have just been a puddle of emotions and I know that it's around self worth issues. So I'm here because I'm ready to just like clear up some of this trapped energy so that I can enjoy my 30s.

Tell me, thank you for that. What it is that you're wanting to move through? What in an idea ideal world, what would life feel like at the end of our time together today?

It would feel like me being comfortable and more confident. I feel, I feel like in this self love journey I went from being someone who just didn't speak her mind and I was afraid of being abandoned and rejected. And then I feel like I went like the complete opposite where now I'm just like, and this is what you did and I'm like all in your face. And I feel like I want to find a nice medium and knowing that also I'm not being a pushover but I'm also still being loving and caring to the people that are in my life.

So what does being loving and caring to you look like?

It looks like allowing people to have their own opinions and their own ideas about how things should go without me taking it personal, without me feeling like it's an attack on me and my wants and my desires.

Can you tell me more about this experience of an attack on you around your wants and desires?

Yeah. So I feel like for a really long time growing up I felt like if someone had in a different opinion from me, it meant that you didn't like Me, and then that something was wrong with me, and then that I was unworthy. So I feel like, what is happening more now I'm more aware of those triggers that I have, but I still feel like I still take things personally when someone doesn't want to do what I want to do, or they think that, you know, like, their ideas are, like, better or something. I'm always just like, now I must defend myself because you don't like what I just said, and now I must, like, come back at you.

And is that where the transformation has already happened in your life? Going from that experience of almost pushover to maybe feeling, like, more pushy than you want, and now you're trying to find more the genuine and authentic voice?

Yeah.

What are you feeling now? What are you feeling now?

As I say, it's like I realize after the moment, like after things go too far, that maybe I didn't need to be so abrasive and so aggressive about the situation and that I can just, like, relax and remembering what it was like on the other side when someone, like, diminished my feelings and my ideas. And, like, I just want to know that I can still, like, stand in integrity with what I desire without feeling like I'm belittling someone else or that they're gonna, like, abandon me.

So. So what is the breakthrough that, you know, you're ready to have?

The breakthrough is, I think, more emotional intelligence.

Tell me more. Okay.

I think it's understanding different ways of expressing myself. I feel like growing up, I was a very shy and timid kid, so that was why a lot of my boundaries got over pushed. And it was met with someone who was louder, someone who was really aggressive, someone who, like, just belittled me. And I feel like my response to creating boundaries and owning my worth has now been to, like, raise my voice or, like, keep talking, keep talking. And, like, never letting the situation die down. And the breakthrough looks like me being able to articulate myself in a way that is true to how I actually feel without undermining someone else.

Okay, so what is. I almost see it as two separate pieces that we need to unpack and then bring back together at the end of the session. So we have a new experience with your emotions as well as a new experience with intelligence that we could marry today. Does that feel aligned with where your heart and soul is right now? Okay, so let's start with the emotions. So you've said you've been a puddle. What does that mean? What is the emotion? If you could bottom line it and get Clear on it. That's trying desperately to come out.

I think the emotion is. I think I just want to be accepted. And I feel like the. The overall emotion is acceptance, and then underneath that is my desire just to feel seen and heard, even though I have a difference of opinion.

Okay, so let me ask you it this way. So I see acceptance as an experience that your soul is longing for, and then there's an emotion that needs to be released underneath that. And the way I define emotion, and you don't have to agree, but just consider this for a second. Emotion is what we're born with. And you just had a birthday. So when we're born, we don't question our emotions. We just have them. And there are only five. Anger, fear, grief, or sadness, joy, and excitement. Acceptance is something we learn that we can have or not, but it's different than an emotion that we're born with. Is this resonating?

Yeah.

So what would be the emotion that's stuck under that experience of acceptance that you're ready to have within yourself regardless of the outside world? Anger. What is it?

Anger.

Awesome. And look at your face right now. I don't know if you are seeing you, but anger. And, you know, as women, yesterday was international Women's Day. Anger can be confusing and threatening, but it can also be rocket fuel that we use to our advantage without taking it out on anyone. So what has your experience? You already shared a little bit with us, but I'd love to hear more. What is your experience with anger been so far? It sounds like you've seen people taking their anger out on each other, getting aggressive, demeaning, diminishing other souls. Anything else? What's your experience with anger been, like, so far?

I feel like it's kind of just been normal in my house for people to just go from 0 to 100 and be really angry over the simplest things. So I feel like my understanding and what I eventually grew up to mirror was that same thing that was like, oh, if I'm gonna be, like, strong in my boundaries, then that means that I need to do it in this angerly way. And, yeah, keep going. And I feel like if I, like, expressed myself growing up with my mom or, like, my sisters or something like that, it was met with, like, combat instead of understanding and just, like a casual dialogue. And it was always like this, I'm in charge, I'm the boss kind of mentality. And what I say goes. So I feel like I'm angry now because I don't want to be that I Don't want to mirror that. But I haven't actually figured out how not to mirror that.

So.

It's still so hard.

Yeah. So it's almost like anger has been a dominating experience that either someone is having over you or you're having over them. And there's not been a way for you to connect to an experience of anger that's healthy and authentic, but not you at the effect of or someone else at the effect of you. Tell me if that's landing. You're freezing a little bit.

It's landing. I can hear you.

Okay. What if you've been rejecting your own anger, Lakeisha?

I have.

What if? That's where we start with acceptance. Accepting that you're a woman who has a right to be angry. What if. And everyone watching, I want you to be considering your relationship with anger and in the possibility of reinventing your experience with anger. So what if that's our work today? Is lakisha reinventing her experience with anger? Tell me how that lands with you.

Yeah. I feel like if someone tells me, like, I'm angry or something like that, I'm like, no, I'm not. Like, I'm always happy. I'm always cheery. And I, like, deny the fact that I do get angry and that things bother me because I want to just be like this happy, bubbly person all the time because I don't want to accept that that part of me also exists.

And what would happen? How would your life change if you would accept that you have anger just like every other human?

I guess logically, my mind understands that it's just like every other emotion and that it isn't permanent. It's just something that's going to pass. But I feel like, realistically, I'm like, oh, that makes me like an angry woman. And I don't like it.

So where. If anger was trapped in your body, is it stuck? If you have had anger that you haven't accepted, what if it's trapped in your body?

In my diaphragm.

Does that feel real?

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Would you be willing to close your eyes and do a little trust? Fall into reinventing anger with me?

Yeah.

Thank you for your courage. Want you to breathe into your diaphragm. Your diaphragm is your power and creative source. And I've seen and experienced you, lakeisha, as a leader and a healer that has a message to the world. Does that feel true to you?

Yes.

What do you want for people? Why are you risking being a leader and keep breathing into your Diaphragm and keeping your eyes closed. What's happening now?

There's like a clenching that's happening.

Does it have a shape?

Yeah, it's like a tight ball and it's like, pulsating.

Okay. Ask it what it wants you to know.

It wants me to know that anger is a safe emotion for me to express.

Take that in. What's that like to receive?

Scary.

Tell me more. What's scary?

The idea that something that used to bring me sadness, other people is also a part of me.

What's happening to the ball now?

It's still pulsating, but it isn't as heavy anymore. Okay.

Keep breathing into it. Are you willing to consider that there's a difference between anger and violence?

Yes.

Anger is a healthy, natural emotion. Are you around any babies or have you been around any babies?

Yes.

Are they hurting anyone when they're angry because they're hungry or tired or having a basic human need that hasn't been met yet?

No.

What are you feeling now?

Understanding.

Can you say more about that, please? What are you understanding?

Understanding that I am allowed to be angry and that there's a difference, like you said, between anger and violence and rage.

Yeah.

Anger is a healthy emotion that is something that everyone experiences and that I'm not doing myself any good by denying it.

Violence is avoidance to dealing with our emotions and our anger. It's a distraction. It's a diversion. It's not the emotion. It's a coping skill that's unhealthy that we saw and learned and either avoid or repeat. Anger is reasonable, and it's a message that something's off that's doesn't hurt anyone. And if we're not angry with the state of the way that humans are treating other humans in this day and age, we're asleep. Are you a leader, lakeisha?

Yes.

How do you know that?

It's just what I do, how I show up.

What does that mean?

It means that I understand that I have a message and something to share and to help in the world. And as a result of that, I lead.

What's happening to the ball in your diaphragm now?

It's like a dime now. It's tiny.

And what does it have to say to you now? Is it shrinking? What does it still want you to hear or understand?

That I can express my anger and still be met with love.

Who's the one responsible for expressing your anger and still meeting you with love?

Myself.

Is there anything else that your body is holding on to in your diaphragm?

That I can also be angry with other people and still have love for them as well.

What's that like? Say it again. You just said it like a question that's so important. Everyone watching. What are you getting? Put it in the chat. Cheer her on. This woman is amazing. Feel this.

That I can be angry with someone for something that they did or did not do for me. And it doesn't mean that I don't love them anymore just because they hurt me or they cause me pain.

Okay. Can I ask you a difficult question?

Yeah.

I'm putting you on the spot. Is that okay?

That's okay.

Okay. Is anyone powerful enough now that you're an adult and a goddess in your life purpose work to hurt you or to diminish your truth?

No.

How do you know that?

Because the people who used to have that power have already gone against everything that is normal to them. So, yeah. I've already broken all the rules and did exactly what I wanted to do. And it was met with a lot of resistance and anger. And I didn't care. It didn't stop me. I still did exactly what I wanted.

Okay. Feel that. Tell me what you're feeling.

But I think I just haven't released the past pain.

Yeah.

Because I truly no longer identify with that experience. But I'm still holding onto it in my body.

Yeah. And our bodies. There's a book called the Body Keeps the Score. I don't know if you. Yes, me too. And sometimes it takes our body longer to catch up with our brilliant mind. We had emotional intelligence. That was the breakthrough to more self love. Owning your worth and getting what you want emotionally. You can take on not welcoming anger like you want it or like it or love it, but just understanding when it's there. There's a good reason why. And then you can have more intelligence around what's happening. Another word for intelligence just might be awareness. It's just about awareness. And then you get to choose who you're going to be now. Because you are no longer at the mercy of authority that can dim or diminish your light or your message to humanity. You're the authority. So see, when we get confronted, I just see that as a temp check. I just see that as an opportunity to get more committed, not less. Tell me how this is ending with you.

I love the idea that it's a temperature check. I love that I feel like I quit my job. I moved out of the country. I live my life in a way that many deem as irresponsible. And I feel like when I have conversations about the choices and that I make, I'm like, that just lets me know that I made the right decision to continue to follow my dreams and create life on my own accord. So when you said the temperature check thing, it was like, yeah. Every time someone is like, what are you doing? This is so wild and outlandish. I'm like, no, let's go deeper. Like, let's see even further. Like, where I can allow myself to go and expand and experience.

Is there anything left in your diaphragm?

I think myself just wants a hug.

Okay, hold on tight. Honoring your soul and your spirit and your purpose. And what if the way you're living, lakeisha, is wild and outlandish and exactly right for you right now? What if you don't have to argue that it isn't wild and outlandish. It is, and it's wonderful and it's your right. Tell me how that resonates.

It's my right. It's my life. And the only person that has to be comfortable and accepting of that is me.

And anger is real, and it can be expressed in a safe way. And you can meet yourself with love, and you can meet others with love. And when you're angry, what if it's not them? What if it's just a sign that something's off and that more of your leadership and voice is needed? Nobody has to get hurt. There's a reason why it's showing up.

Nobody has to hurt, including you.

Berating yourself or trying to diminish the anger that's real. There's more here. But just to plant some seeds of possibility that you can have a new experience with anger that allows for more love and more life and more of your purpose to shine out into the world. How does that resonate?

I love it.

Tell me what's landing. And if there's anything that isn't, let me know.

I feel like I see anger differently now. And they're like flashes of experiences where I'm like, in that moment, it wasn't anger, you know, it was violence. So I am safe to be angry and that it's okay and that there's nothing wrong with me for being angry and that I get to express myself exactly how I feel and know that my intention and my purpose isn't to hurt anyone.

Yes.

And that's okay. Yes.

And you are one of the anyones. What is something that you will commit to that you can do to now integrate this new understanding around anger? What's a process that you'll put yourself on or something that you can do to take on your anger in a new, loving way.

I feel like before I express myself, just to stop and make sure that I'm grounded and that I'm not speaking from a place of reaction and trigger, but more from a place of feeling safe and knowing that I get to meet those needs of safety and understanding within myself. So that when I am expressing myself, when I am expressing my anger, that it's. It just is what it is, and it's just an experience.

I have two ideas. Can I run them by you?

I love you.

Live by the ocean, right?

Mm.

Is that correct?

Yes.

Do you swim in the ocean?

Not often.

Do you enjoy swimming in the ocean?

Yes.

Are you able to, at some point in the next 24 hours, go to the ocean and swim?

Yes.

What about on your next swim? Gently and lovingly, saying out loud over and over again while you're in the water, it's safe to be angry. I meet my anger with love from here on out. How does that feel?

I love that. Will you be crazy that you say that? Because where I am on the beach, some days, like, the waves are really intense, and I find myself, like, I'm in the water and I'm like, oh. Even though it's, like, intense and it's, like, hitting me, I'm like, oh, I still love this. I still love the beach. I still love the water myself.

Metaphor.

Yeah.

For the anger.

It's definitely going to do that.

Okay. Will you let us know how that goes for you?

Yeah, definitely.

Now, I. I'm a recovering I have to be happy addict or else type woman here, you know? And I'm not positive. People say all the time, oh, you're so positive. No, I'm not. I just find possibility, and at least in my experience, it's exhausting to try to have to be happy and good and bright and light, and that's the way I should be. Because we have so many flavors in so many versions of ourselves to uncover and unearth and connect to. So my second idea, just as a challenge to you after your swim, I would invite you to just write, what is your message to humanity from the space of being willing to accept all of you, including the intense parts, including the part of you that gets angry when right action needs to be stood for and just see what comes out.

Oh, yeah. I don't know what will come out. Yeah, that's a good one. Okay. I love journaling, so it's perfect.

You're a writer, I watch. Right. And you are a magnetic healer and leader, in my opinion. People are drawn to you, and what's going to happen if you become fully expressed is going to be more attracting the people that you can serve.

Definitely.

I would love to see what you write if you'd be willing to share it with me and if you'd be willing to share with the community about your experience. I know it would benefit so many people.

Yeah, I'll share it.

Okay. Tell me what's happening in your body now.

I feel like I'm just more relaxed and I don't have to. It's weird because I feel like as a coach and a healer, I understand that there are facades and, like, there are a myriad of emotions and things that people go through, but I don't always feel like it's okay for me to have them and that as a healer, I'm like, oh, like, I have to be happy. I have to, like, hold space for people and, like, do all these things. And now I'm just like, no, like, I don't always have to be happy. And even when I'm not always happy. And if that emotion is anger or grief, that's totally fine. And I'm totally still a healer and a leader and a boss.

Yes. And it's the not resisting those darker emotions that has you more authentic and free faster.

Mm, definitely.

Thanks for your courage today. Did you get what you needed?

Definitely. Thank you so much. This is amazing.

It is an honor. Happy birthday. The world doesn't know about you yet. They are about to come in.

Definitely.

What is your final takeaway or final thoughts for us and our community.

That it is safe to just be who we are and whatever that is in that moment, just honor it and accept it and show it love.

Thank you, Lakeisha. I honor you. If you want to join me in the hot seat, comment below. Private message me. Your healing work can change the lives of so many, but most importantly, your own. I will see you again next week for another hot seat. Thanks, everyone.