Honoring Yourself as an Introvert.

Mix 102.5. The best mix from the 90s to now. Big Papa in the afternoon. Time for a Mental Wellness Wednesday. Life coach Rebecca. Silence. Tougher together. A breakthrough podcast. RebeccaSilence.com Rebecca, good afternoon. How are you?

Well, hello and happy. Mental Wellness Wednesday. Can we believe it's March?

Incredible, right?

Q3, baby. All right, we're almost there.

Today, I want to talk about introverts.

Okay.

All right. I want to talk about people that may not have been introverts, but because of the last two years of pandemic, have kind of become introverts and ways to kind of get out of being an introvert, if you will. If that's something that you want to change about yourself.

Well, I love that you gave that disclaimer. Right. And I'm making a joke. It's. It's Q3 of Q1, meaning we're in month three of the first quarter of the year. And if we're not at this point living the way we want to be living this year, with the pandemic in my belief system giving us permission more than ever to live how we want to live, what are we doing? Right? Because seriously, I've said it a million times, but use the pandemic as an excuse to just drop what you don't want anymore. But introverts, I want to talk about this. And here's the secret. I am the introvert. Introvert ever. A lot of people wouldn't guess that about me, right? You've known me forever. Like, you've known me since high school where it was quite obvious that I was an introvert. Right? But a lot of people don't believe that about me.

No, I'm. I legit am an introvert with an extrovert's job.

Well, and I think the thing about that is introverts can be really good at performing and delivering because we're performing to an audience. We're not in the audience. It's when we're in the group. It's when we're in the audience, that energy gets strained. So a really simple way to not judge yourself for being an introvert is just to understand that all that means is we need to be alone to recharge our batteries. And it doesn't mean we don't care about people, like people, or do well with people. It's just that peopling can drain us. And that doesn't mean the people are bad or doing it to us. It just means too much peopling can drain the batteries.

And that Also doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you if peopling drained your battery, right?

I'll never forget, literally three weeks after you and I started Confession Tuesday on Kiss fm, I had this teenage guy that had just started college and was super depressed, social anxiety, introvert. And he wanted to change that about himself. So I don't think we can change the parts of us that need that downtime to recharge, that alone time to recharge. But I do think we can stop judging the moments where we're in an introverted place. And what I mean by that is stop making it a bad thing about you. Something wrong with you or something that you need to be different, different about yourself. And I honestly think we all have introverted seasons. We all have extroverted seasons. Introverted moments. Extroverted moments. And it's when we are denying our truth that we suffer. And that truth could just be. I am not actually a yes on going out tonight or I am not actually a yes on, you know, this event that is going to have so many people and yes, it is still a pandemic. So I kid you not, use that as an excuse. You know, I know that the dust is settling. We're going back to quote unquote, as normal as possible. But now more than ever, be honest about who you want to be around, what you want to be around, and how you want to spend your time. I think more than anything, that's what today's show needs to be about. And if you're an introvert, awesome. You know, figure out your ways that work for you to recharge. For me, it's getting on my peloton, taking a bath. Like my days are bookend with those two things I really have in the morning, time alone, where I'm moving, I'm moving my energy, I'm preparing to be with a lot of people's energy. And then at the end of the night, I get in a bathtub, light a bunch of candles and let it all go. What works for you? It took me 40 years to figure out that that's all I needed. 40 years. Don't, you know, let it take that long for you in trial and error, you know, what is it that lights your soul on fire? Last night I was cooking dinner with a glass of wine. I have more candles lit around my house. You know, it's unbelievable, but I love that it settles me, it grounds me into me and it has me feeling really peaceful and alive. More than, more than seeking peace, I want to Feel alive. And for you, I want you listening to feel alive. But you have to figure out what that means for you. What is it?

That's. And that's the thing figuring out what it is for you individually. So now that we talked about that a little bit, let's take talking about being introverted to a next step. Because if you are an introvert, trying to find love is and can be very, very difficult. Because it can be a challenge putting yourself out there when you're an introvert and you don't feel comfortable doing that in any way, shape or form. However, how are you supposed to meet anybody if you don't do anything?

Okay, so it's difficult if you believe it's going to be difficult.

Okay.

Also, tell ourselves the story that being an introvert makes you more aware, more likely to be paying attention sooner to what energizes you and what drains you. And that includes people. Trick. Okay. Now, I haven't been single since, you know, the, the whole swipe what? Right, swipe left. Like, I. I don't even understand it. However, when, you know, I'm coaching clients left and right, literally all over the world, that swipe right, swipe left. I want to give secrets. Okay, Number one, you can feel a person.

Always swipe right. Right. Always swipe right.

No, no, no, that's not what I'm saying. All right. How connected are you and I? Thousands of miles apart.

Oh, no, extremely.

Yeah, right. Like ridiculous. Right? And we will feel each other. We'll check in. Feeling you. What's up? Right, so when you're looking at a picture, if, if it's a dating app or whatever, you can literally feel energy. And I want you to think about everything you can be this simple. It's a yes or no. So as you're scrolling. Yes. No, don't question yourself. As you're living your life. Yes. No, don't question yourself. If you're telling yourself a story that because of this quality in me, dating is going to be hard or money is going to be hard or career is going to be hard or whatever it is, why, you're only going to create more evidence to prove that. Right? So when it comes to love, I don't care who you are. Introvert, extrovert. There are so many millions and millions and millions and probably billions of people that tell themselves a story that because of this quality in me, my weight, my trauma, my whatever it is, I'm not going to be able to find love easily. So I want you to tell yourself right now, I Just need to stop barking up the wrong tree. I need to stop arguing when something or someone is a no. I need to let that be a no and not need to have a happy ending with that person to prove my worth. Right? Like find the people that love and adore and cherish and honor you and have that circle of support be who you lean on and stay connected to in the moments of insecurity while you know you're worthy of love. And until and unless you know you're worthy of love, introverted or not, and are telling yourself that story, you're going to have all this fog, all this evidence, all these walls blocking you from love. But you got to look in the mirror tonight and you got to go, okay, what am I doing that I don't want to be doing? Who am I hanging out with that I don't want to be hanging out with? And from there, I want you to get really honest about. My only problem is I do what I don't want to do and hang out with people I don't want to hang out with. If I would stop doing that, I would get to figure out what I want. Instead, if I would stop doing that, I would be radiating a whole new energy of aliveness. That is what attracts your next great love. Until you got that cab light turned on, people aren't going to know you're available. And if your energy is dim and if you're looking for that love to fill you up and have you feeling alive and expressed, that is toxic before you even started. And do not think you're not enough. And do not think you're too much. I got a husband that I hear multiple times a week. How does Mark keep up with you, Rebecca? He knows who he married. He is not confused, right, about who he married and what I'm up to in the world. And Never once in 11 years has even like, whoa, you need to slow down. He's always like, what are you going to do next? Okay, you did that. What's next? You know, And I had never had that before the relationship before Mark, the man said to me, I feel like my face is dragging through the mud behind you, and I can't keep up.

Wow.

Not. Not vibing, right? Because, like, I don't want to be slowed down and I don't want to be told in any way that the way I'm living my life is too much. And people will. As you fully express yourself and start to get really honest about how you want to live, have opinions, have reactions, have criticisms, compare themselves get threatened. All that's going to happen. Believe me, that doesn't need to be in any way important enough to derail. You stay more committed to being fully alive than anything else. And if you're an introvert, you still get to be fully alive. You still get to be loved, you still get to honor what takes care of you. And that's really what this is about. And until and unless you are honoring what takes care of you and knowing that you are the source of your happiness, you are the source of what it is that you want to be feeling, you're not going to be that great of a partner anyway. So focus on that. Turn the cab light on and go. Let love in.

It is a mental wellness. Wednesday life coach Rebecca Silence, host of Tougher Together, a breakthrough podcast. Details rebeccasilence.com Great stuff as always. We'll talk to you next week.

Bye everybody.