How Can Embracing Self-Worth Transform Your Financial Journey? With Rebeccah Silence

You're listening to Cash and Sass. I'm Lisa Marie, your go-to gal for all things money. As the Sassy Wealth Queen and the brains behind the Sassy Wealth Coach, I'm here to take you on a thrilling ride from the financial chaos to sassy and sexy money.

Welcome back, my sassy friend, to another episode of Cash and Sass. My name is Lisa Marie. I am the Sassy Wealth Queen, and I am the brains behind this podcast and Transcendent Wealth Company. And with me today, I have Rebeccah Silence. Oh my goodness, Rebeccah Silence. See, I should remember the name, right? Um, Rebeccah Silence is a powerhouse in the world of personal transformation, redefining what it means to have a truly happy, healthy family. As an award-winning author, coach, and media personality, she's not just changing lives, she's elevating them to the new heights of love and joy. Her mission is crystal clear: to ensure every child grows up with healed, joyful parents, and that every couple discovers a love that's not excuse me, that's not just sustainable but blissfully transformative. Rebeccah Silence's unparalleled expertise spans 16 years of helping people heal from generational trauma, high-functioning unhappiness, and love trauma. She understands that deep-rooted issues often hold people back from living their fullest lives, and she's dedicated her career to breaking these cycles. Through her work, she turns the dream of a harmonious, love-filled home into an accessible everyday reality. I can't thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being here and being a guest. We were talking about some of your journey before we started, and we are honestly, we're going to dive in because y'all know that this, this is what this is about. It's about conversations about money, anything and everything to do with money. Nothing is off the table. And when we were talking, one of the things that that I was reading was that, you know, one of your biggest money lessons is you said that money comes with a price and that you learned that holding the value of your containers no matter what is key. So can you kind of, first, can you tell us a little bit about you and your journey? And then can you tell me what you meant by what I just said?

Yeah. Okay. Well, thank you for having me. It's an absolute honor to be here. Thank you to all of you beautiful listeners for caring about getting as wealthy and as sassy as you can in this one precious life. And you know, what I mean by wealth is this ability to tap into what you're worth and what you deserve and letting yourself have that. Now, that's not necessarily about dollars and cents, but I will say I am all about make as much money as you can. But I really think there's a direct correlation between owning and holding your value and the value of your work and the money coming in. So for me, what that means— and I'm an incest survivor that grew up in domestic violence, ended up in my own domestic violence marriage. I've been through a lot. I beat cancer with a 5% chance to live. And one of the things that I believe is we don't need breakdown to break through. So I want everybody to really hear me say it doesn't need to get to crisis level for you to go, let me unsubscribe from devaluing myself, right? Because we're either valuing ourselves or we're devaluing ourselves, like, in every moment, every choice, every communication, right? So for me, I'm a trained therapist, and I didn't learn business, okay? I have been helping people heal. We're going to have to update that bio because it's almost 25 years, not just a little over 16. Since 2002, I've been helping people heal. Since 2008, I've been a full-fledged lifestyle entrepreneur. It just took until cancer for me to go, my business, my businesses should actually be serving and providing the lifestyle I want, not I'm working to die. I'm serving at my own expense. And again, cancer was a wake-up call for me. But owning the value of my containers means to me really owning. People do one session with me, 90 minutes. It's 3 years worth of therapy, at least, if not more. I have been able to close the gap as a trained therapist and as a coach and as an emotional healing and relationship expert between how long it has to take for us to heal. And I get a lot of controversial flak because why are you telling people they can heal that fast? Because they can. Because healing is freedom. And The pain and the breakdown starts in a moment and can undo in a moment as well. Right? So I was giving people results and still in a business model that was an expensive therapy hourly rate. And that wasn't actually valuing the transformation that people were getting or having my clients even value, because I started as a coach in a community they had never heard of a life coach before. I got on a top 40 radio station and I brought the house down. And they're playing my radio show on school buses. I had a 6-month waitlist before I got cancer, pretty regularly selling out every retreat I ever had. So that community I love, I'm still there, I'm still on the radio, but they didn't really have anything to compare me to, right? So owning the value of the results you're getting people. And for me, I spend a minimum of $150,000 a year on my own personal growth. That's a lot. And I have a lot of training and I'm giving you value and I'm making it effortless, effective, efficient, and fast and sustained.

Right.

So why not put the price tag accordingly? Now, I'll also say I offer free all over the place resources. I have a book, I have, you know, $599 courses, $47 courses, and then I have the high ticket personalized access to me services. So I think there's a way to own your value and also deliver at a price point that's accessible to anyone. So that's what I mean.

Yeah. I mean, basically what you're saying is, is it's in another way and, and hopefully the list, your listener, my listeners are getting it, is that we need to be aligned with our values and our goals. And if we're undervaluing ourselves, then 9 out of 10 times it's going to show in the prices of our services, right? So we need to really, you know, and again, you can have, I have a high value service. That's my Profit Queen Partnership. Okay, that's my one-on-one. That is how That is a high-value service, and yes, there is an investment in it. And then I also have other services that are lower ticket that aren't that high investment. So again, we're, we're still able to be accessible to, um, our ideal clients who may not be to the point to where they can make that type of investment. This is the reason why I have my podcast. This is the reason why I have my blog. It's the reason why I have the free offers I have. Excuse me. It's the reason why I have these lower tickets. It's the reason why I have the Money Mindset Start Guide. It's because I know, because I've been there, I know what it's like not to have money. I know what it's like to be on food stamps. I know what it's like to file bankruptcy and do all those things. Been there, done that. Could write several books on it. Actually been told, asked why I haven't, and I laughed about it. And it's because we have to make sure we're valuing ourselves and that we're valuing the work that we're doing, right? And, you know, part of our money journey is if we aren't valuing that, then there's a money story, there's something somewhere there. And a lot of times that could be done with— dealt— could be because of money trauma. It could be because of history with money stories going back 7 generations. It's been pretty—

mm-hmm.

It could be, it could be right, right.

What we've seen, absolutely, I think contributes. And I'll just say I've gone bankrupt too. And I've been to the place where I wouldn't even open the bills because it was debilitating. Like, I didn't even know what to do. I got out of the first marriage I was in, and everything was in my name, and my ex-husband took credit cards out in my name and maxed them out. I didn't even know about, and I really had to start over. And I, at the time, had all of this modeling, particularly from women in my family, for anybody that can relate to this, that weren't financially able to take care of themselves. I had never seen a woman in my family able to financially provide for herself. Ever. And I have a big family. So it was even more terrifying because I only knew women can't support themselves. And now I'm a single mom with 100% custody and going bankrupt. And what am I gonna do? So I think we can reinvent ourselves in every area of life, especially money. But it does start with holding ourselves more capable than we even believe we are, I think, and owning The value of the life we deserve means— and this is another point around generational trauma cycles breaking— all that means is you're modeling a new possibility for you and everyone in your family that no one has seen before. It doesn't mean you have to, like, heal them all. It's just you now healed, get to model new possibility. And at least in my family, it's been extraordinary to be able to trailblaze as a woman what is possible. But man, what a journey.

Yeah, I mean, I mean, you know, I'm the first one to tell you, I tell everybody, and y'all have heard me say this again, it just, all it takes is a decision, you know. You know, I talk about how I made the decision that I wasn't going to be a statistic like the society said I was with drugs and alcohol. Just because my father did drugs, I wasn't going to be that way, even though everyone kept saying I would be. Um, so when you come from a home, or, you know, my mom was a single mom, she was broke all the time, right? But she was doing the best she could. So when you come from that mentality of not knowing and not having the information, okay, you can still make that same decision that you make on other things, like I'm talking about, like the drugs or alcohol, anything else. You can make the decision that it stops with you. You can make the decision, okay, This, this is where we're going to, we're going to go. And for 7 generations ahead of me, we're going to have a wealth mentality, not a scarce, scarcity mentality. And that's not putting our previous generations down. They didn't know any better. They were taught the same things. We're just making a decision. This is where it stops. This is where we go, okay, we're taking control, you know, cause it's my mission to support as many women entrepreneurs to be able to stay on their own two feet, whether they need you or not. And what I mean by that is to be wealthy, aligned with their values and their goals and their mission and their desires. And that's where that fractional— me being a fractional CFO comes in hand is because I'm able to see the things and help you get the big picture and help you get there. Whereas a lot of times when we're in the thick of it, um, we just don't see what's possible. One of the things that you, uh, mentioned And I really, really wanted to talk about it. Um, one, you're the first woman in your family to own your own business. Um, be a breadwinner. And you were bankrupt, single mom, running a company for 16 years. And then that company, you kept going even with a cancer diagnosis and a 5% chance. And I think it's important for my listeners to understand life happens. We have no control over those curveballs, those, those lemons, those things that are thrown our way. We don't, we don't have any control over it. And the fact that you still have a successful business or businesses And you reinvented, because that's one of the things you said to me, is I reinvented my company to fund my lifestyle, which really truly speaks to me because I'm about it being aligned. It needs to be aligned with our goals and our values, our desires. I've said it constantly, and I'll say, keep saying it, there's a difference between being rich and wealthy. Rich, you got loads of money, you're still broke, and you're miserable. Because you're spending it faster than you can get it, or you're hoarding it, whatever. But you're miserable because you're not living the life you really want to live, or you're spending it faster than you're getting it. And you're rich because you just say, oh, I'll just go make more money. Being wealthy is being wealthy in all the areas of our lives, which is where those 5 wealth codes that I created came from. And that's the spiritual, energetic, physical— excuse me, spiritual, energetic, mental, physical, and financial. And when we're wealthy in all of those areas, we're able to do so much more. And so I want you to speak on that because I think in some ways you and I are aligned in that thinking, just from the small conversation we had before we started the podcast. Can you kind of go into that part of your journey?

Yeah, I mean, I look at it like life doesn't happen to me. Life doesn't happen for me. Life's just happening, right? And what I have control over is what I want to be able to access. And this is the work I do with my clients day in and day out. I've had over 1,000 people come through my practice, and there's not one client that we haven't had to work on this. Like, in the moments that feel out of control, scary, and where you feel powerless, what do you have control over? So being in my dream come true second marriage, my business being a dream come true, I'm reaching hundreds of thousands of people a week. I'm booked out 6 months. I really thought I had beat my past. Then I get diagnosed with cancer and a client, actually plastic surgeon and his wife, said, hey, Rebeccah, You saved our family. You saved our marriage. That thing on your arm, that's not looking so good. Will you come into the clinic at 7:00 AM tomorrow morning and let us remove it? And I did. And I knew nothing about cancer. I don't have family history of cancer. I don't tan. Could I be any more pale? Like, it was the most bizarre, crazy thing. So I had to go into, all right, this isn't happening to me. Who am I going to be in the face of this, right? Because I had already done so much trauma healing work. So it wasn't like cancer reactivated childhood trauma. It was an opportunity to be who the hell I said I was and to really reprioritize. Right. And I love what you're saying about decision. I say the term decide to decide. Right. So I'm going to decide to decide. And all I need is one empowered decision at a time. And that empowered decision piece is everything because our decisions are empowered or they're disempowered. They're bringing us more alive or they're helping us just die a slow spiritual death. So I was just very stubborn and deciding, all right, the healed me has to be in charge of the mission called my life here. I'm going to make a decision to live. And I am very clear I might not make it, that this is way bigger than me, but I'm gonna live like I'm gonna live, and I'm gonna live like my business is gonna survive this too. I'm gonna survive this and my business is going to survive this. I don't know how, I don't know where, but I know I'm an amazing commitment queen, and my commitment is going to be regardless of circumstances Regardless of what I don't have control over, I'm gonna live like I'm gonna live, and every choice better feed my life. So all I could do— I have the results come back, I have a 5% chance to live. They get the baby out as soon as possible. And then 22 surgeries later, 4 months of chemo later that I ultimately quit, I get to still be here, and so does my business. It was the ultimate surrender. And whatever you're going through in your life, I want you to know you surrendering what you don't have control over isn't gonna threaten you. It'll keep you able to focus on what you do have control over, your intentions, your actions, embodying your core values, which actually, if they really are your core values, you can live out from a cancer bed or a jail cell or whatever, because it's not your values aren't determined by anything external. It's who you're being. It's the truth of who you are. It's not about what you've learned, right? So I'm all about freedom. I'm all about growth. I'm all about family and community. I'm all about joy and fun. I got to do my best to embody all that while I was sick. And then I'm the emotional healing queen. And if you want to know more about what I teach, with the practice of emotional healing that I've created. All the steps are in the Emotional Survival Kit course I created, or my book Coming Back to Life: A Roadmap to Heal from Pain to Create the Life You Want. You can visit rebeccahsilence.com to check it out. But what I'll share here is I focused on my commitment and intentions and aligned actions, and I stayed emotionally clear. What I mean by that is if I had to scream, I did. If I had to cry, I did. If I had a moment where something was funny. I let myself laugh, right? I want joy and excitement to be the rule we all live by. And I want us to know how to stay emotionally clear and regulated so we can connect to our spirits and divine guidance. And for me, Cancer gave me the gift of a whole new relationship with me and what I call God. And my life has become a co-creation with God ever since. But if I'm not emotionally clear and regulated, I can't hear my own voice. And in a situation like cancer, everybody has an opinion. And for a lot of us with our businesses, everybody has an opinion and the buck stops here. We get it. But I want you able to hear your own voice. And that means emotionally you're clear enough to access it as well as divine guidance and divine love and divine intelligence. But that's the Reader's Digest version of how I did it. But I had to let the part of me that wanted to survive this, because we all have a survival self and we all have a healed self, take a timeout in the corner so that the healed me could hear me and divine guidance and just take it one step, one empowered decision at a time. And I would never, for example, suggest anybody should quit chemo. For me, that was the right decision. I don't have your answers. You do. And we can get really still again without a crisis to force our hand to hear our own guidance. And I think there's nothing more powerful in terms of skills to master, to learn, than the practice of feeling. So you can do this. Yeah.

I mean, it— here's the thing. It's like your emotional illness, your mental illness, being one in yourself is, is part of the steps of um, having a good relationship with your money, right? Because money doesn't have to be feast or famine. You— money doesn't— money's not hard. Money is energy. It's what we do with it. And so the fact that not only were you emotional and, and divine with yourself, but you also had to be in some way, shape, or form strategically navigating the money, because, oh, there are things that there, there's just no way. And I want my listeners to hear this part too. Um, so I would love for you to give examples because yes, you have to be in the emotional. I will be the first to say they're hand in hand. They go hand in hand. You cannot have one without the other. I will repeat that till the day I die. That's the first part. And in order for her to be able to do those things, She had to know what the hell was going on with her money, period, end of the day. There's period, exclamation point, however you want to put it. She had to know what was going on with money. If she didn't before, she needed to then so she could strategically navigate it. And the reason why I know this is just because of the things that I've shared with my story, many of my stories. And one of them is last year when shit hit the fan personally and professionally, my business was, y'all, I've talked about it. Phoenix came in and she burnt everything to the damn ground because we needed a new garden to be planted. Okay. I made a decision. My business was going to not only survive it, but come back and thrive. Did I know how?

No.

Did I know what was all going to happen in the process? No. I still made that decision. There are other people who were in business who'd made the decision I'm not doing this anymore. I'm closing my doors. And they closed their doors again. It's their decision. They decided. That's the key. Okay. I decided it wasn't— that's not what I was doing. So I had to become even more strategic with the revenue coming in and what I was paying out to me and to my business expenses. So that I can navigate all of that and then get back to where we are. We're now starting to thrive again. Okay. So can you tell us a little bit about that? Because one, cancer, scary as it is, okay. If you're working a regular job, cancer scary.

When you're owning your own business and you're the breadwinner and you're the product, right? Like my business, I'm the product.

You are the product because you like—

there was no buck. There were no courses. There was nothing, right?

You're like, I'm a fractional CFO. I am the sir. I am the product. So being able to still navigate that and you have, and you're also having to navigate the strategic of money because you, you still need to have a house, you still need to pay your light bill, you still need to run the business so you can have those things. And now you have medical bills on top of it. So can you, can you talk to us about how you managed it? Because I want, I want my listeners to understand that y'all, for the love of God, a money roadmap is not restrictive. It helps you get through the shitstorms when they hit, but it also helps you get to your destinations of where you want to be. I don't think I could say that any other way. And I'm hoping from how she is going to share her story, that you're going to see that one, she's proof anything's possible.

Hello. You are.

I mean, you're one of the examples. You are one of the examples. And so I would love for you to share maybe some of the money stories that popped up during that time. Oh, I had to navigate. And then the strategies.

Yeah. I've never been asked this and I'm so honored and excited. To just share, and I'm just going to be raw and real and messy.

That's the way we want it. That's the way we want it.

All right, so, you know, I went from making more money than I ever had, traveling when I wanted, anything I wanted, more money in the bank than my inner child's nervous system or brain or identity could even understand, to— and never worrying about it. Like, I wasn't worried about the sessions in my calendar being filled. I would look at it like, I don't know who it's gonna be, but it's gonna fill. Same thing with my retreats. Like, I had years and years and years under my belt where I wasn't worrying about the money because it was so consistent and predictable. And then everything had to shut down because I really am the product. So if I'm not there, I only worked a couple months that year of 2015. When I was in the thick of fighting for my life. And I remember we had $66,000 of revenue that year. And my medical bills, interestingly and ironically, were $66,000 after insurance. Now, that didn't include that I had hired a different holistic healer to work on me in my bed 7 days a week. And we were spending $2,000 to $2,500 a month just on my holistic healers. And my husband would say, How the hell do you even know what's working? And I'd say, I don't give a shit what's working. Something's working because I'm still here. But that was wild because the math wasn't math in that year, right? We barely made it. My income covered the medical expenses. My husband's working himself to the bone to try to make up for I'm not. And I was a breadwinner at that point in the family. So to go from breadwinner to fighting for my life to basically not even breaking even, because now I'm in the red because I am hellbent on all of these holistic healers, right? Not to mention I'm still responsible for my brick and mortar office that I had at the time and all those bills and expenses that went there. I had to know with every fiber of my being that I was worth investing in myself, even if it didn't make sense on paper, to stay alive. And part of the surrender for me was I had this community that I had become a pillar of, and they were still playing my radio show every single week, best of. Then I had a team that wanted the next women's retreat to happen as soon as possible, filling a retreat while I was still really sick so that the second I quit chemo and had a few months under my belt to recover from all of the initial side effects of chemo— it took years, but the initial few months after chemo, I could get my head clear. And then I show up and we have a sold-out women's retreat with 35 women, and my team does everything so I can rest as much as possible. I mean, The commitment. Again, I can't emphasize commitment, commitment, commitment. And let me just interject here what I teach in terms of the 4 stages of commitment. It starts in fresh love. Sounds great, sounds fun.

Boom.

Immediately panic is going to strike and disillusionment is going to strike because what the hell was I thinking is the next step in commitment. And we think something's getting worse. You're getting more foundationally superproofed and sound. Then we go into power and control. Then we get to reinvent. So when I'm talking about reinvention, I'm talking about moving from fresh love through disillusionment, through power and control, into reinvention, right? And the whole time it feels like shit is hitting the fan and falling apart and getting worse, and you just got to stay in the game and one next decision at a time. But it looked like the money was a freaking train wreck. But in my heart of hearts, staying alive and knowing I was worth investing in and knowing it was going to come back in spades. That was scary. And it was especially scary for my husband with the traditional MBA who's always been like, how on earth do you do business? It makes no sense to me. It's so witchy. It's so woo woo. I don't get it. But he's like, keep doing what you're doing because, right? And then the year 2016, we went— it was literally, I kid you not, like, we didn't skip a beat. We went right back, except I felt like shit the whole year. But I was still my best, and I was still even being in recovery physically and mentally and emotionally and spiritually and all of it. That year in 2016, I was more aligned than ever, so it felt better even though I was sick. Like, I still felt really physically debilitated. But it was a better year of business than it had ever been financially and for my experience of business, cuz it was all on my terms. And I went from, all right, a business that's trying to fit in with the world to a business and a life that fit in with me. And if you don't like it, I don't got time for your shit. Like, that's how I felt about it, quite frankly. And that's something nobody's gonna tell you. Like, the reinvention means what used to be the success metric, it's got to change if it created stress, if it created chaos. So my new success metrics are, am I aligned with my soul? Is it giving me energy? Is it bringing me joy? Like, and does it fit in with me? That's very different than how much money did I make? How many people want my services and did I sell to? How much did I work in a way that I was glorifying? Because I couldn't believe what I was doing compared to most people in my industry. And then I almost died. So I did have to know the numbers and I did have to lean on support to help me rebuild. And I did have to risk investing where on paper it looked like a crazy move.

Yeah. And that's the thing is, is I took big, huge risks last year. For the first time, my business took on debt. Your business probably took on debt too. Guess what? Multi-billionaires get debt all the time. They leverage it. That's how they become billionaires, by the way. They don't want to tell you that, but it's true. My business took on debt. I used a bit— I got a business line of credit to have just in case after COVID happened. And I used that business line of credit last year, and that is what carried my business. And here's the thing. Was that crazy? Absolutely. Was I looking at both the personal and the budgets each time to see how it was going to navigate and how we were going to do this? And did I turn some things down because of it? Yes, because again, I was navigating to get me to here. She was navigating, I'm going to live, I'm going to get through here to get back to my business. So they had to navigate all those things. Were there some crazy decisions made in the process? Yeah, us entrepreneurs don't always make the most sane decisions, and we— that's why we're entrepreneurs, right? The key though, you can't do any of it without knowing your numbers. You can't do any of it without knowing your money. Yes, she has a husband who was working, and she just said that he was, he was working to the bone, which is probably keeping the health insurance, by the way, which was helping cover the things and then help cover the rest of the— help cover the medical bills. And then her business was basically taking care of the holistic and making sure bills were paid. And on paper, it made absolutely no sense. And they still made it through the year. And I can attest to that because on paper—

well, and then the next 3 years, right?

Last year, it made absolutely no sense. I still made a profit, by the way. I made a profit. And I still— on paper it makes absolutely no sense, but that's because we navigate, we trust. You gotta trust and you have to lean into the help and you be strategic and navigate. That is when you really have to come down to, does this help me? Does this support me in my values and my goals and my desires? Does this put me where I want to be, where I desire to be? And if the answer is no, do I really want to do it? And if the answer is no, don't do it. And if it's yes, then do it. Which is the reason why my business took a twist and elevated the way it did. It's the reason why the business name changed. It's the reason why Profit Queen Partnership became Profit Queen Partnership from what it was named before. It's the reason why the ideal client changed, because none of this stuff was aligned anymore. I just didn't want to— I didn't want to hear the small signs or see the small signs. So the universe and God had to throw a big huge sign my way to make me realize, oh, we're not aligned anymore. I need to make some changes. And navigating that kind of thing, how did you How did you remind yourself that the money stories were just that, just money stories? Because I think that's really important because I tell people every new level is going to bring a new devil. And we all will.

It's true.

And it's, I mean, it's true. No one can prove, no one has been able to prove me wrong yet. I've had, uh, over 50 episodes so far and I pretty much say it on almost every single episode and no one has been able to prove me wrong yet. And when we have that new level, or we going through life, especially if we come from a broken home, or especially if we come from not having money, that voice, that person, your— it's called your nervous system, by the way, but we call it that voice, that thing in our head who all of a sudden is saying You know what, maybe you just need to stop and just stay right where you're at and don't try to go for anything else. Maybe you're doing too much or you're crazy. Nope, you don't need to do anything else. You need to just go back to corporate or you need to do this or you're no good with money or whatever. Any of the stories that can come up because we have all had them. When you were going through something that I have— I could— I can only imagine what— trying to think of how I want to ask this. Some of the money stories that would pop up in your head, one, what were they? And two, how did you navigate them? How did you— what are some— what are some tools that you used because I have tools in my tool belt.

Okay, I got you.

I have movement, I have lighting candles, I have journaling, I got some tools. What are some tools that you use to keep that money mindset right so that you could focus on your health?

Yeah, so I think there's a couple things. As, as you were talking, I was thinking about the importance of being willing to bet on ourselves, right? And I think You know, I don't know if it's more money, another devil, but what I do know is, you know, more money, more next level identity up level required, right? So that's how I think about it. In the few years after that first really terrifying year, they were even more important along the lines of what you're asking me. So I'll speak to that too, because now I've One of the scariest moments on my cancer journey was the moment I realized, shit, I'm actually going to live. I was living like I was going to live.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I laugh, but no, it's all right.

I mean, seriously, I'm sassy too. We can bring it.

But seriously, because I guarantee you my listeners went, wait, what? Because I know where you're going with this. Why? Because how often do we get asked, are you really afraid of failing? Or are you afraid of succeeding? Well, exactly. Why were you— why all of a sudden was the most scariest moment in your life, oh shit, I am going to live?

Two reasons. I was physically debilitated. I completely lost the use of my right leg. I had what's called drop foot. Chemo attacked my spine, my whole leg, all the nerves shut down. My foot lost its arch, my toes were pointed like a ballerina. And they told me in physical therapy I was like a kid with cerebral palsy and it wasn't going to heal. And I was in more physical pain than I can even put into words. So now I was going to have to rebuild. And they were like, you're just going to go on disability for the rest of your life. We don't even know how you made it. And I was going to be, you know, over my dead body. And I don't have a dead body. Like, I'm going to physically recover. I've got to now rebuild the business. But the other reason that moment was so scary is because I knew there was no going back to how it was. And I didn't know what that meant then. I knew I really didn't want to go back to certain tolerations, certain relationships, certain— because you really get a dose of reality, right, when your life is on the line like that and you see who shows up and you see who doesn't. And some of it's a surprise in both directions. So, oh my God, I'm actually gonna live, meant now there's a whole new Everest, a whole new fight. I just fought for life. But now I gotta fight to build it back up. And identity-wise, I had a lot of growing I was gonna have to do because I now knew I got to live. And ever since My Life Is a Divine Assignment, all I want to do is serve. So I better get my ass right in a book. I better start creating courses. I have all this in me. And if cancer comes back, I walk around every day still with a brain tumor. It's benign, but it's there. And the knowing that I could have stage 4 cancer come back any second, any second. So at first, I was in this very— not fear-based, but like high-stakes energy of like, I have so much, right? So I ended up investing hundreds of thousands of dollars to scale the business, and I graduated myself from solopreneur to CEO. And for years, it like such a bad idea. Such a bad idea. Didn't matter. I got a major publishing deal and an advance. Like, I was spending all this time creating and building and marketing and hiring a lot of the wrong people.

You were gonna live and you knew that if there was a chance it could come back, then you were going out with a bang.

I knew I had to have something to give people. Right? Because I had learned too much. But the identity piece, I think, was the hardest part because that voice in my head that I heard every day growing up, who do you think you are? You're a worthless piece of shit, was there. Okay. And then what are some of the other voices that were in my head? The who do you think you are? You're a worthless piece of shit was big. And then I had to be like, well, whose voice is that? That isn't mine. And with any of your money stories, really be thinking about whose voice is it? And with any negative coping, who modeled that to you? Who are you being when you're overwhelmed? Who are you being when you're anxious? Who are you being when you're depressed? And I would be lying if I didn't tell you I wanted to die as much as I wanted to live every single day. You know, the metaphor that carried me through, Lisa Marie, was if anyone's seen The NeverEnding Story, There's a scene— this saved my life, I kid you not— the Swamps of Sadness scene, right? The hero isn't gonna let the sadness win and breaks through the quicksand, and the horse doesn't make it. The sadness gets the horse. Oh, I just— every day during my fight, and then for the few years after, I'm like, don't you dare let the sadness win. Your survival self that thinks you can't. Come on. If you can already survive everything you've survived, you can do something else.

You can do something else.

Yeah. I tell people, I knew there had to be a way for God to use my pain, and I wanted to still be here and serving and well. And I really let it be one step at a time. And the other hack I have for everybody, and I work with my clients on this too, because they triple their income, they triple their businesses every single day just by what I'm about to teach you. There's 3 things I say to myself in the moments where it's like, who do you think you are? I'll be like, well, I don't have to do shit. So if I'm going to, I'm going to be all in. I don't have to do anything. If I'm going to, I'm going to bet on myself and I'm going to be all in. And I got to release and not think this is just all about me and on my shoulders, like that character in Encanto holding up the weight of the world. I don't have to. So if I'm going to, I'm gonna go all in and I have to let divine intelligence and God in the mix because this is bigger than me. And when I do that, I get delighted and surprised and I want us betting on ourselves and I want us delighted and surprised at the rewards we get back for actualizing our courage.

Mm-hmm.

Right. And you know, the other thing I think is really hard is like, Does it get to get this good? Like, this is my dream come true life, right? Like, I put on jewelry and lipstick and I get to share my heart and hope and possibility and how the freak to get there with all of you every single day. I'm paid extraordinarily well by my high-ticket VIP clients to get access to their hearts and their dreams and help them close the gap between where they are and where they want to be. I am loved so deeply, not just by my husband and my family, but really by the world. Like, nobody talks about the journey on an identity level to let yourself trust you enough to receive that good stuff. And I always say we're not handling the trauma because we have all this trauma. We're handling it because there's so much joy and love available, and it's supposed to be good and magically delicious, as I like to call it. Right?

I love it. Love it.

And it's It's scary. I mean, even the first night I spent with my second husband, I wanted to crawl out of my skin because this doesn't feel safe, healthy, healed, delicious, doesn't feel safe because I don't know I can survive it. Right. So there was all that for me, Lisa Marie.

Yeah, yeah, very much so. We could go on forever. And our time is almost up. So you have a free a free offer for my listeners.

I have a couple gifts.

Will you please let them know what that is? And these will be in the show notes, so just make sure you go there to, um, get the information. Yes.

So I have two gifts for you, one for each of my businesses. My rebeccahsilence.com website, on the homepage, you can access my free and delicious Three Must-Know Secrets to Heal and Save Your Family Masterclass. It is the three must-know secrets to heal and save your relationship with money, to heal and save your business, to heal and save you from being a victim to leadership, to heal and save your family. Just fill in the blanks, right? It's there for you. An hour of your time. I promise it will give you so much goodness. Grab a journal, grab a pen, and sit down and enjoy. That's at rebeccahsilence.com, right on the homepage. The 3 Must-Know Secrets to Heal and Save Your Family. My The Unsilent Woman company. Okay, so if you go to theunsilentwoman.com, I've got another free gift for you. The Ultimate Guide to Breaking the Silence, because a lot of changing your relationship with money and beyond involves communication, communication with yourself, communication with others, communication with clients, boundaries, right? So I created The Ultimate Guide to Breaking the Silence that you can access at theunsilentwoman.com, and it's 10 empowered one-liners to start any hard conversation. And I give you, here's how it applies personally, here's how it applies professionally, all in this document, beautiful PDF for free. So both of those free gifts are absolutely worth your time. I also can't recommend enough Get Yourself Coming Back to Life, my book. It's won awards around self-love and self-worth that obviously have everything to do with money, and it is a real guide and a real roadmap. For You, available anywhere books are sold or on either of my websites.

Awesome, awesome. I'm going to be jumping on the free gifts, so I hope my listeners will be too. Um, this was an awesome, awesome, awesome conversation. And listeners, I hope what you get from this is that we may not be able to control what life hands to us or what life— when and how life happens. It's But what we can control and what we can control is how we decide to react to it, how we— what we decide to do.

And that's who we're being. And I just like that. Like, I'm always going to say, yes, it's that word.

So everything and who we decide to be, because again, the decisions we make, who we decide to be, how we decide to move forward, how we decide to handle whatever it may be and who we decide to be in that and after is what's going to— that's what's going to get you to the next point. And that's also dealing with your money. That's who are you going to be? Are you going to be a methodical CEO? Are you going to be the strategic person who knows what's going on there with their money, making strategic decisions? And, you know, yes. Does that mean sometimes they're going to be bold decisions? Absolutely. But you're still making strategic decisions and being a— or you're going to be someone who doesn't know what the hell is going on with their money. Again, it's who are you being? And I just— I want you to, if anything, just take that away and know that there are things that you can navigate through and ask the same questions. Who am I being in this moment and how do I want to be? When you're doing that. And of course, until next time, remember, stay sassy. Bye!

Bye everyone.

Thanks for joining us this week on Cash and Sass. Check us out on social media and on our website at www.thesassywealthcoach.com where you can download my free Money Story Start Guide. The website again is www.thesassywealthcoach.com. Rebeccahsilence.com. And as always, subscribe to the show to catch every new episode and leave us a review so we can continue to bring you fresh content. And remember, yes, it is possible to have sassy and sexy money.

See you next week.