How to Become Your Best Through the Magic of Creativity and Opportunities

Is possible experience, where today we're going to talk about creativity and magic and opportunity. I am your guide, Rebecca Silence, and the host of the Healing Is Possible experience. And the journey that this show is taking us on is a journey of hope and healing. And I have not met one human that isn't, deep down wanting some soul sort of way to get to a place of more life and hope and healing. Now, there are plenty of skeptics. There are plenty of people that think it's not worth it or it's not possible or that, you know, good enough is good enough, but you're not that if you're here with me. And my point is, I'm not saying that there's a better than here. I'm saying that it's our right to, with creativity and through hope and a commitment to life and healing, model possibility for others. And especially now, we have so many people trying to sort out their lives and their emotional pain and their purpose and trying desperately to find their way and trying to find their way in a way that doesn't do harm or have a negative impact on the people that they care about. And so today's show, I will give you some real nuggets and some real tools on not only how to reconnect to hope and healing, but how to connect to creativity and opportunity so that you can finally have more of the experience that you have been longing to have in your life. I just returned home from the Abundant Magic Weekend with Rachel Cargill and Elizabeth Gilbert. And man, was it a dream come true to share space with so many women, hundreds of women and people. There were, you know, so many just people at this event. That reminded me of what it means to step into creative leadership. And, you know, the Abundant Magic Weekend was about connecting to your personal creativity. But the biggest message that I got was that we have a responsibility to creatively lead as our best in possibility in our most authentic, bravest way for the world. I really think we do all have a responsibility, and there was so much goodness. I had not been introduced to Rachel Cargill prior to the opportunity to sign up for and then attend this weekend. And I was blown away to the point where I almost have no words, but I'll try. I have been a fan of Elizabeth Gilbert for decades. I've loved watching her work progress into more of a humanitarian and philanthropic perspective. And I have just been in awe of her courage of living in a way that's true to herself so that she can be her most creative and her highest leader possible. And then in this weekend, I was introduced to Rachel Cargill. And this woman is 33 years old. This woman is doing unlearning for black children, where she is basically for free, providing programs after school for kids to learn the other side of what's in the textbooks. She's got a program where she provides free black therapy to anyone of any income. She is now creating the River House in Jamaica, where the point is rest and relaxation. And she's creating pathways as an activist, an educator and world leader to make life easier for the black community. And she is, as a young black woman, so brave and courageous to be modeling, living a life that works for her while she gives back. And, you know, I've never met another person as in love with possibility as maybe I've seen myself before. And then she put me to shame. Her love of life and possibility, I was so humbled. I mean, she really sees the beauty and the gifts. And I loved that not only is she shining her light and living in her gifts and standing for life and for people, you know, but she's also not pretending, like, there isn't a lot to grieve about the way the world works. And she's not pretending that she is an outrage around injustices and discrimination. And she reminded us all at this weekend that, yes, yes, there is, you know, atrocious war happening and Ukraine does not deserve what's happening. But how often and how long for centuries for history have these injustices also been happening in Africa? And there's not global recognition or, you know, a movement to go and help these African countries like there is in Ukraine. Right. Like, there's just so much that needs to be talked about and needs to be addressed and needs to be really prioritized that isn't still in 2022. So I left this weekend with a new responsibility as a woman and as a leader to be in the face of standing for right action. And we do have to do that creatively. And I recorded a radio show this morning in New York about, you know, I was basically asked my position and my opinions on this slap heard around the world. And, you know, I just. I really believe that there's a way that we can use our voices and not be participating in violence. There's a way that we can look at our relationship with violence and creatively reinvent it. You know, no one that's violent wasn't perpetrated against first. And that doesn't give us an excuse to play out the cycles and the pain and the traumas that we've experienced in a way that negatively impacts other people. But what I do want us to first and foremost today begin to look at getting creative around is I want us to get creative around our relationship with how violent we can be with ourselves. Right, because we wouldn't be violent or available for violence or having violence even in the consciousness if we had it under control within ourselves. So I want you to look at what's your relationship with violence and how can you creatively face and move through and conquer that so you can come into a new experience? I think that, you know, there's. There's no right way or wrong way to live, and there's no room for us being harmful towards other humans, and there's no room for us being violent and harmful with ourselves, but especially not modeling this for our children and for our communities and for our workplaces and our families and. And in. In the world. And there's not one of us that doesn't have the power to make a better difference. And I've done a lot to serve. I've. I've made my life about love and leadership and healing and service. And I love people. And I left abundant magic and realized, oh, I haven't. There's so much more. There's so much more to give and do and say. And I really feel like I haven't even gotten started yet. And. And I'm grateful for that. And I just loved the opportunity to be in a sea with hundreds of gorgeous souls that care about life and magic and creativity and want life to be a more beautiful experience for not just ourselves, but for humanity. It was an amazing, amazing weekend, and I just want to share a couple of big breakthroughs that I had for myself this weekend. And then I just want to break down creativity, opportunity, and magic for us today. And I do believe that even in the face of war, even in the face of pandemic, even in the face of violence and discrimination and injustice, that is still very much alive and well in our lives in 2022 across the world. There is a way that we can all raise the bar on our leadership and on our ability to be part of making a difference that connects us back to ourselves and each other in the most beautiful possible way. So my biggest breakthrough that I had this weekend, and again, thank you so much to Rachel and Elizabeth Gilbert for taking the time to create a live event that I'll never forget ever in my life. But the biggest breakthrough I had was around this word, enchantment. And it's a word I haven't really thought about or considered or sat with maybe ever before. And I love this word enchantment. And I would love for you to take a moment and just consider what enchantment means to you. I love words, but what I know is that they mean different things to different people. So as I share about my experience of enchantment, which I do think is part of the medicine that heals and has us more and more and more our best, so that we can be more and more and more in leadership, so that we can make more and more and more of a positive and loving difference in the world. But this word enchantment was a word that I didn't even know how much resistance I had around. Talk about fear, talk about love, talk about possibility, magic, creativity, opportunity. That feels so good. Well, enchantment and this idea of enchantment had me spinning a little bit. And I won't give away all of what we did with this concept at the weekend, but what I will tell you is that I was struck gut punched with the realization that enchantment, for me, was not safe, was not a good thing. And I put together this was all very, very unconscious. And the work with me is about bringing what's unconscious, what's in your blind zone that you're still participating in, to light back to life in your awareness so you can navigate through it in a new way. And I know, just like everyone, I can't coach myself, nor do I want to. I have an army of coaches and mentors and guides around me all the time. But I know I can't see what I can't see either. Which is why I participate in seminars and weekly coaching and read as much as I can get my hands on anyways. I couldn't believe, once it became as clear as it did to me how much I have thought that this idea of enchantment comes at a cost, has guaranteed collateral damage associated with it. Basically, what I'm saying is I have thought that if I allow myself to fully be enchanted by life or to fully be my most enchanting self, that harm will come. I had no idea I even believed that. And then I saw it so crystal clear. And what I left with was this ability to separate it out, to un collapse to enchantments one thing, violence, harm, that's another. And with the traumas that I've experienced, I used to think it was my physical body that was the problem. Well, then, apparently now I've graduated into a world where enchantment was the problem. But what a double bind to Be so in love with life and so enchanted by life and so enchanted with people and so caring about connecting and being my best for any life in front of me and also seeing the best in. In every life in front of me and committing to speaking to the greatness in every life in front of me. But I didn't know that even with that commitment, I was still gearing up for the aftershock of the harm that would come because I let myself go there. I didn't even know this was a thing. And the reason I'm sharing with you is because I want you to think about whether it's enchantment or something else, what's in the way of you fully believing in, first of all, your deservingness to love your life, to get the most out of your life and to experience the best life has to offer you flaws and all mistakes and all traumas and all what's in the way of you thinking I am part of the collective, therefore I am just as sacred and significant as anyone else, therefore I deserve all the good stuff too, for you in the way of that, because that is squashing your creativity like a bug. And it doesn't have to be that way. So what's in the way of you allowing yourself to love life and experience and expect to get the best that life has to offer? For me, this. This was it. It was enchantment. I would let myself have it. Almost like I'm going to eat cupcake. And no, you know, maybe that's not so good for me. Almost like the years where I so, so, so wanted to serve, that I worked myself to the bone and I got sick. It's like I've had this relationship with. I'm going to let myself have it and I'll let myself have it in spite of whatever collateral damage comes with it. And if that's been my experience, I'm sure that I'm not the only one that's had this experience in different ways. So I'm just wanting to invite you to give yourself permission to break up with the idea that what has you feeling the most alive so you can be the most responsible leader in your life, not just for you, but for others. What's in the way of you, you knowing fully, like spiritually, all the way on a soul level, that there's actually no cost to that. That's my point. There's. There's actually zero cost to you turning the volume all the way up on you at your best. And there's also no cost to stepping into full responsibility over yourself and your life. I think one of the most interesting things about this slap heard around the world is we're going to get to see what responsibility people take. And that's not a punishment, it's a gift to get to look at how we show up and the impact of that and the ripple of that and what worked and what didn't and then responsibly course correct from there. It's a gift. It's a gift to be in full ownership and full responsibility over ourselves and our lives. Because no one, no one, Chris Rock did not make Will Smith upset. That upset was already in Will Smith. Those emotions, that trauma that whatever it was Chris Rock helped bring out. I'm not saying the joke was tasteful or acceptable. I'm just saying whatever came out of Will Smith, that was already in him. So now he has a responsibility to look at it and, and what I love and respect about as much as I've seen, and I'm actually currently reading Will right now and reading how he's been in a lifelong mission to heal through the part of him that has identified as a coward. I have so much compassion. And then what I know is it's never another person that caused my behavior or another person that caused your behavior, or a situation that causes our choices and our behaviors. What's in us, if it is dark, if it is toxic, if it is unhealed, actually needs to come out so we can be free of it and on the other side of it, that's what I know for sure. And we have a responsibility to look at our internal world and navigate it and choose accordingly, knowing it's not them that needs to be different. It's not life that needs to be different. It's me that needs to rise to the occasion of healing through the emotional dissonance going on in me. The emotional pain, the trauma, whatever it is, I absolutely know beyond a shadow of a doubt it can heal. And I want it to for all of us. And at the same time that we're taking on our healing and responsibility over our own lives, which again, never hurts anyone or costs us anything. It only gives us our lives back, which then gives other people permission to take their lives back their way. Right? Not in our agenda for them, but in their way. Right? We get to live our way, others get to live their way. And it doesn't mean when you turn the volume all the way up on your enchantment or whatever it is for you that reminds you of how precious life is, how beautiful Life is how sacred life is. Even though there's a whole lot of fucking horseshit going on in the world, there's still beauty, there's still magic. There's still an opportunity to be creative. And I'm not. I'm not having separate conversations. I'm having a conversation about both being realities at the same time, because they are. And we can still be our best and in love with life. As we are grieving the injustices and as we are grieving the way people are with each other and to each other, that's unacceptable and harmful. It's all happening at the same time. And so what I took away around Enchantment is a new commitment to embracing how enchanting life is, how enchanting I am, how enchanting, you know, and how Enchantment is never not with me. But will I dance? Will I flirt with? Will I fantasize about Enchantment and allow Enchantment to be with me in all of the moments so that I can be an even better version of myself and even more responsible leader. And from there, I just see only good. Now, not everybody will vibe with that. Not everybody will agree. I'm not saying when you turn the volume all the way up on you, all the way up, let's stop just gradually giving ourselves permission to be more of who we really are. Let's just go for it so we can see what's real. Another really beautiful part of the conversation this weekend at Abundant Magic was about the truth. And I've been doing a lot of work on this for myself already, but it really helped. Ker Chunk. What I've been trying to reconcile within myself around the truth, what I've been learning through life and with my coach, has been that the truth always deserves to be seen, heard, validated, recognized, and we can get to a point where our truth doesn't threaten us anymore and where other people's truths no longer threaten us. And one of the things that Elizabeth Gilbert was sharing was how somewhere along the line, someone had said to her, I forget who she said it was. The. Well, I think it was Rayya. Her. Her partner, her last partner. Which, if you don't know that story, it's a beautiful story. But I think it was Raya that would say to Elizabeth, the truth has legs, so we might as well just start with it. Let's not dance around the truth. Let's not, you know, go into drama, and then we get to the truth. How about we just start with it? Because we're going to end up There anyway. And the truth is the only thing that has legs. So let's just start with the truth. And I thought, man, that was so beautiful. And I think. I think we get afraid of our truth. I think we get afraid of being with other people's truths, Particularly their truth is about us, because of whatever we fear that would make, you know, our worth, our relationship with ourselves. You know, their opinion about us doesn't have to actually dictate any of our internal relationship with our worth and our value and knowing who we are. But so often people are putting other people's opinions, other people's behaviors and actions towards them as a way to stay insecure and less than who they really are. And I'm just here saying, what if it doesn't have to be that way? And what if us. Turning the volume up on Enchantment, turning the volume up on our response, responsibility to be our best for people, turning the volume up on our truth, turning the volume up on our willingness to sit in and be with other people's truths. I think these things are so important because if not, then you're just walking around as a lesser version of you, and that's confusing for you and for other people. And I've done that for decades, tentatively wanting to kind of navigate what is acceptable, what's not acceptable, what. What parts of me do I think people are ready for? What parts of me do I think I'm ready for? What parts of me do I think the world isn't ready for, that I'm not ready for? Well, recently I have just said, you know what? Fuck all that. I'm just gonna really go for it. And today's show is about creatively stepping into the opportunity to fully be who you are, because that, to me, is magic. You being willing to risk it, knowing other people will have their opinions, maybe they'll go away, maybe they'll criticize you, but you don't ever have to lose you. And I didn't even realize that my resistance to Enchantment had me guarded in a way that wouldn't really let me fully receive. What I love to do is the second I'm aware, I let myself step into a new reality. And I have ever since this experience of getting the gift of being able to look in a mirror and see what my relationship with Enchantment was so that I could define a new relationship with Enchantment. I've taken it and run with it, and I've had miracle upon miracle ever since, you know, and the truth isn't always Easy. The example for me that I absolutely, literally know saved my life was the decision to quit chemotherapy. If you don't know my story, seven years ago, I was pregnant, diagnosed with cancer, and underwent a year's worth of 12 surgeries and treatments. And I did four months of chemo that by the end of the four months, had basically taken my body away from me. I had nerve damage so severe that I couldn't walk. I was told it would never heal again, and I. I very much knew that. My truth was that I needed to quit the chemotherapy, but the statistics contradicted what I knew was right for me and best for me. The faces of my loved ones, the literal, I guess the way I would say, literally appeared as though my doctors and medical team were outraged. But their reactions, you know, were real, and they were very literally telling me, this is a very bad decision. There are no other treatments. You are quitting. The only treatment we have for you, we want you on this for a year. We don't know if the cancer is still in your blood, if it is that stage four cancer that's really dangerous. I had melanoma. At the time, seven years ago, the science and the treatment and the research was not where it is today. And it was a very difficult but honest choice. And I had a coach at the time and an army of support around me, helping me access my truth and standing behind me and taking the risk of going for it with my truth. And I very much believe that if I had not followed my truth in that moment, I likely would be dead today. I was dying, and it wasn't from the cancer. It was from the treatment. I wasn't just physically dying. I was spiritually dying, emotionally dying, mentally breaking down, fighting the voices in my head every single day that said, you should just let yourself die. It'd be easier. But my bigger truth was that I was committed to living like I was going to live. I was committed to believing that I could beat it and. And then the rest would be up to God. And I was committed to honoring my truth, no matter how crazy it seems to anybody else, so that I could live with knowing I did as long as I had the gift of life and more opportunities to have a day and keep going. I followed my truth, and here I am. And I think what. What often happens is we wait for a crisis, and then we'll flirt with our truth or flirt with enchantment, whatever that is for you. But what if we don't need a crisis? What if we don't need life to get harder and more painful and then we'll address it. I had a coffee date yesterday with a gorgeous, gorgeous woman who was talking about, I don't know if I'm quite ready to open up the Pandora's Box in my marriage, because if and when I do, I don't know if we can come back from that. And what I said to her is, well, whatever is in that box is running the show already, so we might as well open it up, unpack it. I do two day couples intensives with people and we, in two days we go deep, reinvent, get clear, have next steps. And you know, I just, I don't want us afraid of our Pandora's Box. They don't want us afraid to face our own truth. I don't want us afraid to get creative around what's real for us. That's the biggest opportunity you have right now, is to get creative about what's real for you. What are your gifts, what are your talents, what are your truths that you could unapologetically turn the volume up on so that you know you did, it's never going to hurt anybody. And even in the face of so much darkness, even in the face of so much trauma that the world is going through, that you've been through as an individual, that you're going through now, we can get creative and we can connect to our magic and we can embrace the opportunity that we've all got to fully live. So where are you doing this? That's what I want you to consider, that the doing this that I'm not going to, I'm not ready yet, or it would hurt too much, or it would cost too much to go there. Where are you doing this in your life? Is it in a marriage? Is it in relationships with family members? Is it in your health and wellness? Is it with your money? Is it in your, you know, closets, metaphorically and literally, that you don't want to open because you don't want to deal with it? What is it for you? I'm asking you to be fearless and to know that you're creative enough and you're magic enough to face, move through and conquer what seemingly might feel impossible or not worth it or might come at a cost. And I'm here to support you, reach out. You don't have to do it alone. And if it's not me, have a coach, a mentor, a therapist, an accountability partner. But what are we waiting for? It's time to live. And I just, I'm so grateful for the gift of enchantment being a tool in my toolkit that I can embrace and love on and remember. It's always with me when I feel the darkest, when I feel the most hopeless, when I feel the most in pain. Enchantment is there and it can remind me who I am now and who we've been. It's not who we are now. And I never thought of myself as a creative and I did share some pieces of writing throughout the weekend with the entire group with partners along the weekend. And I was asked multiple times, are you an author? And it was such an interesting question because I've never considered myself to be an artist. I've never considered myself to be an author until recently. Until the last couple of years. And the Coming Back to Life book pre sale did launch last week. I do have a book coming out with a major publisher this October. I am an author and why not embrace that? Creativity looks different for all of us. All of us have creativity muscles that we can connect to and tap into, and I think those muscles allow us to process the seemingly impossible. So what's your creative method that makes your soul sing in the face of life in all of its seasons? For me, it is speaking and writing words. I love words. I love connecting to words and I love being careful with my words. And I love when a new word, enchantment, changes my life forever. What's your creative outlet? What's yours? It can be simple. It just has to be yours and then it is always there for you. And I think the more creative we are willing to be, the more opportunity we're willing to take, especially around our ability to lead and be creative and responsible for ourselves and our ripple. The more we experience life as magic. And we all have magic in us, but we all also have the capacity to experience the magic of life and the miracles of life on any given day, in any given moment, no matter how mundane. I had the most magical travel home and my flights were delayed hours and I was up for over 24 hours and I was tired and I was tapped and I was so in love with the magic of people and life and I talked to so many people and I made some beautiful new friends shout out to my new pastor friend in Kansas City and you know, just know that life is beautiful if you decide it is and you are a part of that beauty and you are equipped to be creative and embrace the opportunity of getting the most out of your life. And that's how you get magic. I can't thank Elizabeth Gilbert and Rachel Cargill enough for the gorgeous weekend that they provided for their brave leadership, for their courage, for their stand for right action. And thank you to all the new friends I made this weekend. And just know that we don't have to wait for the opportunity to get creative. We don't have to wait for the opportunity to fall in love with life. We just get to choose right here, right now. And then the magic begins. The magic in you, the magic around you, it's there all the time. And we can't get it wrong. And we will make mistakes and we will have moments that we don't want to repeat. But we don't have to have regrets and we don't have to be shame based about our best being enough. We can just keep getting more creative, connecting to more opportunity and connecting to more magic. And that is my wish for you. That this week, this day, you experience yourself in a new, creative way. You experience life in a new creative way. You experience opportunity in a new, more magical way. That's my wish for you. I'm Rebecca. Silence. This is the healing is possible experience. I am here to support you, to coach you, to guide you. Whether it just be through this platform and my shows in the book or one on one, reach out and know that healing is possible for you, for me and for all of us. I love you. See you.