How to Discover Your True Self: The Hope and Healing Journey Behind Coming Back to Life.

How long has it been since you felt like you knew yourself and loved yourself and trusted yourself? My thought is it's been long enough. Okay, we're going. Okay. Three, two, one. We're going. Welcome to the Healing Is Possible experience. I'm your host, Rebecca Silence, and we are live every single Tuesday at 10am Mountain. And the purpose of this show is to take you on a journey of hope and healing that allows you to access possibilities that are right here available, hidden in plain sight that will open up so much for you. Today is a really special episode and a really special day for me and for our healing is possible community and family. And if you're new to the community and the family, or if you're just meeting me for the first time, welcome. We're so glad you're here. And today's show will invite you to order and read and embrace the content in this book that I wrote that was published today. Today is publishing day. Coming Back to Life is here and available any place that you order books or buy books. And my greatest wish is that you get this into your hands and into your heart. I will be reading some excerpts today from the book. And also, you know, today's episode is very much about authenticity and living our truth. And what I want us all to consider is that when we know ourselves and trust ourselves, we just can't be stopped or threatened ever again. As the soul, we are at a spirit level. The highest versions of who we are, they're not derailable, they're not squashable, and they're certainly not stoppable. And we're living in a time in history where there is so much literal threat happening. There is so much going on politically, there is so much going on that continues to degrade and dishonor humanity. And it's not okay, and it's not acceptable. And we've all got the capacity and capability to become the best of who we are, to help alleviate the epidemic of being less than who we are, which has a negative ripple across the board and can actually do more harm than we even know or realized. Trauma and pain are passed on generationally and on so many levels. We know this, but we don't know what to do about it or what to do with it. And we also have a crisis going on across the globe that has people resigned to their past, which continues to give the past power and which continues to have the past bleeding into right here, right now, and into the future that we're designing. And it doesn't have to be that way. I genuinely went from several suicidal seasons so deeply did I want to die so many times because the pain felt too great, the shame felt too severe. The future seemed insurmountable based on all of the heaviness that I was carrying emotionally. In this book is how I got out of wanting to die and trauma running my life and the past, ruining my present and future. This is everything I've got for you. It's very vulnerable for me to. To recognize that today is publishing day and that this isn't a dream that's out of reach or something I'm waiting for anymore. It happened. It's here. My sweet husband Mark left me a card and flowers and balloons and so did my seven year old Seneca. And the card that Mark gave me was so simple, yet so profound. It was talking about, you know, the journey between the dream to the reality. You know, there's no waiting for this to come to fruition anymore. It's here, it's born. And again in today's show, I want to talk about authenticity and I want to talk about how critical it is to have a vision for where you want your lives to go. If all we're focusing on is how to move beyond the past to the best of our ability, while the past is still, still influencing the present and the future, we're stuck in a very disempowering cycle. If we look at our power and ability to create beyond any circumstance that's happening or has happened. There's so much freedom there and there's so much life there. But often we're just in survival, on autopilot, going through the motions, just trying to get beyond the. The stress, the suffering, the depression, the anxiety, the pain that we forget or completely are disconnected from all the possibilities available to us. And there's always possibility. But when fear and shame and disempowerment because of the past and circumstances strikes, it can be really real and that we have no access to possibilities so we don't even believe that it exists. For so long I thought that maybe I got cancer because I was so wanting to die. So many times I thought maybe my wish to die got answered and it was my fault that I had a very aggressive melanoma diagnosis and only a 5 to 10% chance to live. I had had so many traumas that when cancer came, I was blindsided and not surprised at the same time. And just like so many of the previous traumas that I had faced and survived, I felt like on some level, even though I knew better, that it was still My fault and what cancer did is it gave me so many beautiful lessons that you will read on every page of this book. One of the biggest lessons being I have decided, for me anyway, that I don't think life happens to us. And I also don't believe it happens for us. I believe life just happens. And what happens was going to happen. It's not my fault. It's not a train I can slow down or stop or redirect. Life is just happening. And then what I make it mean and who I decide to be, not what I decide to do, who I decide to be. That is the game that keeps us free and empowered and the best of ourselves. And I am so grateful to live with an approach to life where I see life as neutral and gentle and offering me more and more access to me and to the possibilities that are available to me in any and all moments. If we need life to be how we need it to be, for us to be okay, if we need our partners to show up how we need them to, our children, our co workers, our bodies, whatever it is, if we need life to show up just right so that we don't feel threatened and so that we feel okay, we're a victim to circumstance, and it doesn't have to be that way. And generational pain patterns can absolutely heal so that they don't continue to get passed on to our children and to our loved ones children and to our friends and family and colleagues and people that we come into contact with. We are every single moment of our lives modeling the possibility that we're in. And when we're modeling defeat and when we're modeling hopelessness and when we're modeling being a lesser version of ourselves than we know we're capable of being, our soul dies a little more at a time in each of those moments. As microscopic, as short as they are, they matter. And there is a way to create a roadmap for yourself that takes you out of survival mode for good. I wake up every single day a trauma survivor. Sexual abuse, domestic violence, marriage, bankrupt single mom with eating disorders and addictive behaviors. Cancer survivor. After being diagnosed with cancer while I was pregnant and so much more, I wake up every day free of the shackles that each one of those traumas and each one of the unmentioned traumas had had a chokehold on me for long enough, held me hostage for long enough. I wake up free. I wake up happy. Because I'm not afraid of my past. I'm not afraid of my emotions. I'm not afraid of my life getting found out. I'm not afraid of being exposed like I was for so many years. There was a time where if any one of my traumas had been made public, I would have wanted to die and I would have thought about killing myself. And I did. And then I've done work to become the person that took my power back and that chose life and chose to use each trauma to my advantage. Because what I believe is that trauma doesn't have to mean less of a life. The trauma conversations and trauma processing, they don't have to re traumatize us or leave us feeling less than. Our trauma stories do not define us. And our trauma stories do not have to hold us hostage in our own one precious life. And our trauma stories don't have to threaten our future or possibility ever again. But most of all, our trauma stories don't have to disempower us. They can become the source of us being able to access our greatest strength. And the traumas happened not because we deserved it, and most certainly not because anything that happened is our fault they happened. And we get to decide whether or not we're going to survive our way through our lives in spite of them, or whether or not we're going to live fully, using our trauma stories as access to more life and more possibility and more courage and more inner strength and most of all, more authenticity. I believe the most relaxed we are, and the more relaxed we are, the more powerful we are. And when we resist our past, when we resist our stories, when we resist acknowledging the severity and the depths of our trauma stories, we limit our ability to fully experience life. And I look at every moment and everything that has happened as an opportunity to get more alive and more free. And this book is here to help you get more alive and more free, no matter what it is that you have faced. I am telling you, if I can survive the traumas that I have survived, the horror, the terror that was my childhood, the abuse that I have endured, the self inflicted abuse that I continued to live into because it is just what I thought I deserved and so much more. If I can survive it, I promise you can too. And again, it is not about comparing or contrasting our trauma stories. It is about acknowledging that this happened and that doesn't have to define or shape or ruin my future. And so many of us are continuing to live in survival mode. And I am here to tell you it's unnecessary and it's not helping you or anybody else to encourage your own survival mode living. What is helpful is to Decide that regardless of where you've been and what you've been through, it is your time to live now, not later. Now. I want to offer to you that regardless of what you've been through, you're more powerful, you're stronger, and your ability to create and reinvent yourself in your experience of life, it's always available to you. There's never a moment that you don't have access to the highest, best, wisest version of you. It's just we've disconnected from that version of ourselves and that part of ourselves in order to survive in so many cases. And we can't live and survive at the same time. We've got to choose. And I don't care what it is that you've been through. You've got what it takes to outwit, outsmart, outlast, and move beyond it. And I celebrate the power that is you, that is so much bigger than any circumstance or any one moment that you have lived so far. I want you to consider that the best of your life is ready and waiting for you and that it gets to get better and better and better and more joyful and more free, no matter what. If I can do it, so can you. I promise. And my book is here to guide you home. Home to you. So that you know yourself again, so that you trust yourself again, so that you belong to yourself again. And so that you can really and truly live and get the most out of your gorgeous, precious, most beautiful life. And I know that there are moments that have hurt, and I know that there are so many of you that continue to hurt and are still hurting and are questioning and doubting yourselves and afraid to hope. But please, please don't be afraid to hope. If you are afraid to hope, and you won't hope, you get to be right about how limited your life will be. All I want is for you to take the risk to get this book and to let me offer you a path back to belonging in your body and in your life and in your families and in your communities and in the world. Again, you don't have to know how to get beyond the pain. You just have to decide that you're unwilling not to get beyond the pain. If you're someone who's unwilling to not get beyond the pain, this book is here for you. Take it in. Do yourself the favor of reading it cover to cover. Do yourself the favor of doing the exercises at the end of every chapter. The way the book is outlined is each chapter is hugged by my personal story. The stories at the beginning and the end of each chapter help you see how patterns develop and continue and can be disguised so well that we wouldn't even know a pattern is repeating or playing out. And our patterns repeat until there's a healing. Until the lesson no longer needs to be learned because it got learned. And from there, the same patterns on paper, on the surface can repeat. But it doesn't have to feel like a pattern or inflict hurt or pain or suffering anymore. What I mean by that is once your pattern is healed, it won't even occur to you that you're in a pattern anymore. It will just be life being life and you will able to be neutral about it again. And that is the goal. To learn how to get from this disempowered, wounded place into neutral. And from neutral you can access your power and you can live and you can lead anything. And that is what I want for you. I want for you to know how to live fully. Leading as the best of you, anytime, any place, in any and all moments. I promise you it is possible. I wake up every day happy and free. And I attribute that to my willingness to feel all of my emotions, to embrace life exactly how it is and to remember who I am, the strength in me, and to tap into my courage, Knowing my vision for where I am headed and letting that guide me versus letting fear and the past showing up in the right here, right now. Winning. I get to win, not my past. You get to win, not your past. And for the first time, I'd love to read to you some of my books. What do I want? This question is simple and yet it's everything. Only you can decide where you are headed. You always have control over that question and you have the answer in you. You can and are capable of withstanding any storm that comes your way. What life storm have you not survived? As you read these pages exactly, you've only survived all of them. When you're certain of where you are headed and listening to how you want to feel and what you want, then all you have to do is keep putting one foot in front of the other until you cross the finish line. Just make sure that your feet are still moving towards your dreams and you are on your way. It's not another person or system or situation that's in your way. The pain or anything else that's your problem. It's you being uncertain of where you're headed. When we know who we are, where we're headed, and why we become unstoppable. It's time to cut through the pain. Part of cutting through is asking these three questions. Who am I? Where am I headed? And why? From there we can begin getting out of life on autopilot and reacting and letting go of life as we think it's supposed to be. What so many of us do is focus on our pain as the problem. As cliche as it is, when we focus on what we don't want, we have no access to what we do want. Start paying attention to how much you are focusing on what you don't want want. How many hours a day? When you catch it, ask yourself what you want instead. I get it. You might not know. So many of us has buried our internal guidance system down as deeply as we could. How easily we forget that we are the solution to everything in our lives. We forget that we in fact do know the way back to ourselves. On a soul level, how are you doing so far? Are you more awake, more conscious and more joyful at the possibility yet even a smidge freedom is Taking the lead in what takes care of and honors you. Other people's limitations and fear do not have to determine your fate and neither does your pain. What I mean is, don't restrict your possibilities based on other people's fear, limitations or obstacles or or your own suffering. Get out of the conversation with yourself about what you think you can and can't have because of where you are now. Living in a world of I can't leads to emotional, mental, spiritual and physical hell. Your body has been through enough. You have been through enough. Breathe that in and say out loud, I have been through enough. It's not about your past, you, your story, or your struggle. It is about letting go of anything that isn't you that you are allowing to shape the experience you are having of your life. Abuse, weight, cancer, disease, your finances, your relationship, status. They are all real and they are all metaphors for where we are unhealed and what we carry around every minute of our days. We see through filters of fear. Be the person who sets yourself free and see the you are under the pain. It's time to let that person out. You have the key to unlock your soul. Only you and you can do it. No matter what situation you find yourself in right now. I am not unworthy and neither are you. It's only because there once was a moment where you decided the world couldn't handle you that you stopped shining bright. It wasn't the world you couldn't handle, the world's reaction to you or your fear about how the World would react if you were honest. That's what happened. And that only happened because you were young. I remember playing basketball with my father, who was my favorite parent when I was four. I was asking all kinds of questions. I wanted to know, I wanted to learn, I wanted to understand. I have no idea what I was even asking about. I just remember shooting the basketball and him saying to me, rebecca, why do you ask so many questions? And then walking away. I was gut punched. I didn't understand. What I didn't know then is that he was probably hungover in his bad mood. It wasn't about me, but at four I took in self doubt and I drank it down like it was a spirit spoonful of medicine. What I digested about myself in that moment was the belief that I asked too many questions and that made people go away. I made my inquisitive nature a bad thing about myself when in fact it is one of my proudest assets. Are you starting to see how easy it is to stop ourselves from fully being seen, heard and loved for who we are authentically? One moment, that is. It is when you got hurt. The event happened and you made up a story, a meaning about you and that hurt. And then you got stuck there. One moment in time. Your heart broke. One moment at a time. What was it? What was your first heartbreak? How old were you? What happened? When did you decide about you and what was possible for you? Take some time to journal this. I know it might feel like a lot. You can go here. Just please promise yourself that you aren't going to go off the deep end as you go here. And no self medicating or feeding your inner victim as you go here. The goal is healing. The goal is to come out the other side. The goal is to not let the dark win. As you begin to get real about your heartbreak and the light starts to shine in from within. I am not sorry your heart got broken. I'm not saying this to be mean. I'm saying this because I'm proud of you. I want you to see that the world needs you living as you you're adapting down instead of up. It's 100% on you. The world can't force you to not show up for your own life. I know it hurt and it probably still hurts. But will you please stop taking your hurt out on your body and your life and on those you love and on the world? You living with a broken heart means that you loved. You went for it. You were willing to risk losing something or someone you loved. That loss. It is just the end of a moment of your life. It is not the end of of your life. There will always be another end of the line. But it doesn't mean your life is over unless you decide that it does. There will also be a new beginning for you with every end. Yes, for you. The beginning can feel like magic. The ends aren't the end of the magic. They make way for new, more miracles and rebirth. We have all had our hearts break. Then we forgot to make room for the new. For more in rebirth. Oops. You carry the weight of your broken heart and the weight of you not putting yourself out there again. And it's killing your soul and your spirit. It's time to put yourself out there again. The more you live, the more of a guarantee that you will experience more beginnings and more endings. And living through both over and over again, it brings more life in all of its messy and gorgeous splendor. Your soul would really love for you to risk keeping your heart open. And your life depends on it. No one ever felt light and free with a closed down protected heart. That's heavy and sad and it's lonely to feel it out. Feel it out. Feel it and you will heal and love again. Say it out loud right now. It's safe to feel. I can feel to heal. My experience is one of my heart. Being in my hands, held out to the lives and world in front of me is an offering. Every time I want to protect my heart, I know it's time to give even more of my heart to whoever or whatever I am facing. What you may already know or possibly didn't realize is that you are carrying weight. That is emotional. It's safe to let it out. You already survived. Now you're an adult and you get to choose. No more waiting. No more denying. No more sacrificing your body, mind and soul. The cost is too much. It's too heavy. You can be free. But you've got to be willing to face your pain to release it. You are not too messed up to be who you are. On a soul level. I hope you're feeling me and hearing these words in your heart. The time we have is the time we have. Life isn't about the moments we want. It's about the moments we have. Are you going to keep spending your life disrespecting your life? We don't know how much time we're given. But we do have the body and life that we're given. Starting now. What will you do with it? What will you put it through now that you are back in charge of it. For some of us in our younger or more asleep years, we didn't have or feel like we had control over our bodies or our lives. But we do. We certainly do. It can be scary to face leading ourselves in our one body out of the darkness we may be feeling or living in. I have been there. Patterns repeat until they heal. The car ride took me buckled up and buckled in on many more iterations of heartbreak until I decided to get out of that car and later off of the floor. The floor. It feels as if the walls are closing in as I'm face down on the bathroom floor. Close. Crying. It's an ugly, primal cry and I don't even care that my mouth is on the tile. I've forgotten everything except that it's time to go and I can no longer pretend this is the life I want. It's a dark time and I'm in love again. I think he is too. But this life isn't safe. There's alcohol, violence and so many lies. The biggest lie is with me though. Day after day I wear a brave face and try to pretend like I have the perfect life. My mind tells me that my body's rocking, my kid is perfect, my husband is hot and funny and making a success of himself. It's all a lie. We are miserable and Lord, are there skeletons in the closet. I try to keep the skeletons at bay while I become a skeleton myself. I'm a shell of me. I'm a liar. I'm eating my truth, my circumstances. And now it's so bad and so loud that I take my child and leave. I never thought I would get divorced, but that's what's happening. I can't tell whose decision the divorce is at first, but it doesn't matter. I'm leveled. The stone floor in my house soaks up an ocean of tears. I'm so thin and for days I can't get off the floor. I just keep crying, crying. The tears won't stop. But I'm waking up to the cost of fake. I'm so thin and at the same time I'm the heaviest I've ever been. My friends shock me when I tell them about the divorce and they are not at all surprised. They want to help me move out as soon as possible and orchestrate the whole thing. I will never forget this time being moved out of my house by my friends. I was all unpacked, set up and moved into my new apartment in less than four hours. I was so embarrassed telling my friends the truth, but they are supportive and grateful that I am leaving. I can't believe it. I had thought that I had everyone fooled. I was happy. Life was perfect. No, I was playing house and I was fake. The gratitude I have for the women in my life holding me up and who held me up. It's immeasurable. The wake up call of me not being nearly as great of an actress as I thought I was hits me hard and also frees a part of my soul. It's not so bad to get found out. It doesn't make the pain of having to heal through the heartbreak and start over any easier. But at least I don't have to pretend anymore. 40 people moved me out of my house into that apartment. I've only been loved more every time I get honest about who I am and what I'm going through and where I've come from and where I want to take my life regardless. Sure, people fall away. People leave. Is my path no longer aligns with theirs, but that no longer threatens me. I want what's real. I want what's true. I want what's authentic. And from that commitment, the rest just gets to be the truth that I navigate without ever losing sight of my vision. Thank you so much for being here. Please order the book. Please enjoy it. Please leave us a review. Please tag me in your posts as you share about what you're learning and receiving from the message and from coming back to life. I can't thank you all enough for seeing and honoring and supporting my work and my message and my personal journey. And I want you to know how severely I am cheering you on. You are so significant and you are so sacred and you are so special and you deserve to be free of your past and truly living your best, most healed, most inspired life. And that is all I want for you. And that is all I want for all of us. Healing is truly possible and not just in general. It is possible for you, it is possible for me. It is possible for all of us. And and not everyone is going to want to commit to the journey of self discovery and self healing. But you. You committing to your healing, it impacts every life you'll ever touch in the most gorgeous and beautiful ways. And it's enough. You're enough. And the past doesn't have to mean less of a life. The past and your emotions can give you access to you and to all of the magic and beauty and gorgeousness that life has to offer you. I love you so much. Thank you for being here on the healing as possible experience with me today. This show is brought to you by my gorgeous team and rebeccasilence.com and the book Coming Back to Life. You can go to rebeccasilence.com and order your copy right now. You can go to any place that sells books and order your copy now. And just know as you read, my heart is with you. I see you. I see you in your greatness. I see all of the beauty and miracles that are waiting for you. I see you as free as you let your walls come down and your heart open. And I see the heartbreaks no longer having to be something you protect yourself from because you know who you are on such a deep and authentic level that you know where your life is headed. Even in the face of what you've been through or might be going through right now. You're stronger. You're gorgeous. I love you so much. What I'll leave you with is is at the end of the book there are pages of resources available to you to take your healing journey even deeper. It's time. You deserve to be free. The darkness is real and so is the light. But nothing is more powerful than you. I love you so much. I'm Rebecca. Silence. I'll be seeing you soon. Sa.