How to Heal from Heartbreak on Valentine’s Day

So let's talk about Valentine's Day a little bit.

I'd love to. So Valentine's Day, what if it just becomes a day to check in with yourself around how well you're loving yourself now? Some of you might be rolling your eyes like, okay, Rebecca, self love. I get it. It's always the answer. But what I want us to consider is if you're single right now, that doesn't mean you're going to be single on Valentine's Day. The shift of of opening your heart versus protecting your heart takes one second. And once you open your heart, love can find you really fast.

Mix photo 2.5 the best mix from the 90s to now. It's Big Papa in the afternoon. Time for our Mental Wellness Wednesday life Coach Rebecca Silence. RebeccaSilence.com of course, her novel Coming Back to Life is available wherever it's. It's definitely not a novel. It's definitely a book that will absolutely help you in so many different ways. Talk about the book real quick.

Oh, sure. Coming Back to life is a roadmap to connect to the truth of who you are. It's really a path to loving and trusting yourself again, regardless of whatever it is that you've been through. So many of us still have past heartbreak bleeding into life today, and we don't even know it. Or if we do, we just accept it. Like, that has to be how it is, and it doesn't. I am a living, breathing example of someone who has healed through heartbreak and trauma to the point where the past really is the past. And from a clear place. I design my life how I want and I live how I want. And the point of the book is for anybody that wants that for themselves to have access to how to get there.

So one of the words that you said multiple times during that is heartbreak. And I bring that up because Valentine's Day is upon us. So there's two ways of looking at it. It seems like it seems like you're either with somebody ooey, gooey, lovey dovey, or it's, I hate Valentine's Day. It's a Hallmark day. It just puts a magnifying glass on the fact that I'm single. It really is. It feels like it's. Or the other. So let's talk about Valentine's Day a little bit.

I'd love to. So Valentine's Day, what if it just becomes a day to check in with yourself around how well you're loving yourself now? Some of you might be rolling your eyes like, okay, Rebecca, Self love. I get it. It's always the answer. But what I want us to consider is if you're single right now, that doesn't mean you're going to be single on Valentine's Day. The shift of opening your heart versus protecting your heart takes one second. And once you open your heart, love can find you really fast. So let's not define, you know, yourself and your self worth based on your relationship status right now. And even if you are single on Valentine's Day, it doesn't mean you're not lovable, and it doesn't mean that this day represents how unlovable you are heart. It's an opportunity to congratulate yourself, first of all, for not being in a relationship that you settled for. Anybody that's single, I guarantee you could be with somebody that you settled for that would happily be with you that you don't want to be with. So let's celebrate that, right? And let's know that exactly what you're looking for is ready for you. And now is the time. Between now and Valentine's Day, we still have two weeks. You could be journaling, for example, about what you're looking for and what maybe has been missing in past relationships you can now ask for on paper. Like, what are the top 25 qualities you've been waiting for, you've been looking for that maybe you've never had in your relationships before that were missing? And no, this is the most important piece when it comes to heartbreak. The more you expect love to mean heartbreak, the more you're going to prove that, right? So whether you're single or. I was just speaking with a client earlier this morning already about she's not single and her relationship feels very fragile and she's heartbroken and she's messaging me heartbroken. If your relationship isn't what you want, if you're single and that's not what you want, let's not be in a place where you accept that this is all I get. Let's decide that you are meant to experience love in a healed way, and almost nobody has. We experienced love through our heartbreak as kids, and then we expect to just keep experiencing love and inevitably we'll be heartbroken again and again. And I'm here to say the more you love yourself is cliche as it sounds. The more you heal through your past wounds with other people, the more you no longer fight with the ghosts of your past re. Experience the past heartbreak over and over again like heart, like Groundhog Day. And the more you get to know Your worth. Own your worth and love yourself as you make room for what you long for and what you deserve. And you deserve a healthy, healed relationship that doesn't hurt. But you can't have that unless you've healed through your past heartbreak and unless you fall madly and deeply and genuinely in love with you.

Rebecca, what do you. What do you have to say? Everybody knows someone that is very venomous about Valentine's Day. They're, they're like, there, there's. There's bitterness, like, there's, there's anger. Like they're seeing red because of, not because of all the hearts of Valentine, but, but like a genuine, like, almost like hatred to Valentine's Day. Everybody has someone in their life that is like that. How do you approach someone like that?

Well, let's just get real for a second. Those people that are so aggressively against Valentine's Day, they probably love love more than almost anyone. We don't get that passionate in that dark direction unless we care a lot. So let's just have more and more compassion. I love the game of like Care Bear staring my love and light into people, right? They don't even have to know that I'm doing that. But they care a lot. They love love a lot. And they're ag. Passively defending against the love to protect themselves. And then it's not your job to wake them up or to try to change their position, but you can have compassion, recognizing they wouldn't be upset that deeply that much unless they really love love on some level and desire it a lot. And then if you're the one who's like, vehemently against Valentine's Day, give yourself permission to love love. Give yourself permission to write a new chapter around love for your own life story and let yourself make this year 2023 be the year where you forgive yourself for protecting yourself from love and let yourself slowly open your heart to receive love the way you are meant to receive it. Unhealed people that broke your heart do not represent love. And what's possible for you, you deciding what you want love to feel like, what you want your love story to be for your life that you have control over, no matter how other people showed up in the past. And again, I get to say this because I was treated horrendously as a child on many levels. And I don't say that as like a badge of honor. I say that to say I've been there. I've been divorced in a domestic violence marriage that I had to get out of with a 2 year old and my God, I loved this man that I was married to. But I had to love myself and what was possible for me more than thinking. This was all there was for me in order to have the marriage I have now, the life story and the love story I have now. So if I can do it, any of us can.

All right, so real quick, if you were a Care Bear, what would the symbol be on your tummy?

Well, it's. I'm level up there. The hearts.

So what would the picture be?

I'm pink with hearts on my stomach and I'm shining all of my pink light out to all of you always.

What would you be?

Which Care bear are you?

If I was a Care Bear, it would be a bottle of vodka and a couple music notes. That would be it.

And what's the name? What's your Care Bear name? Getting jiggy with it there.

Oh, God. You did not just say getting jiggy with it. It was a mental wellness Wednesday life coach Rebecca Silence Coming back to Life is available wherever books are sold. Check out rebecc. Rebecca silence dot com. Always a pleasure, Rebecca. We'll talk to you next week.

Love you all.