Life coach Rebeccah Silence explains how to stop bringing work stress home: be your authentic self everywhere, accept that worry doesn't change outcomes, and know which responsibilities are actually yours. She's hosting a retreat in Santa Fe June 3-5, the first time in 15 years it's open to all genders.
Mix 102.5. The best mix from the 90s to now. Big pop in the afternoon. It is a mental wellness. Wednesday Life coach Rebecca Silence, host of Tougher Together, a breakthrough podcast, author of Coming Back to Life, coming out in October, of course. RebeccaSilence.com Rebecca, how are you?
I am so well. Happy Spring, almost Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day week to all of the. The nurturing moms and people that really just take care of us.
So one of the things that you are known for are like these getaways and these retreats and whatnot. And you have one of these coming up, right?
I do, I do. And it's a great gift for a mom you love. So for the first time in 15 years, our next retreat, which is June 3rd, 4th and 5th in Santa Fe, New Mexico, is open to all people, people, all genders. It's only been for women until now. And we just decided with pandemic and so many people really needing reprieve and to actually be taken care of after giving so much, we're just opening the doors to the first 20 people that are ready and willing. So we are selling out, but we do have spots left. And it is not just for the ladies. It's for anybody that is ready to just get nurtured and taken care of and to do some healing in a way where it has them so clear and on fire that they are ready to create their next season of their lives. It is rocket fuel. These three days with me are rocket fuel.
And for the first time. And because I've, I've said I've wanted to do a retreat for. And it's always, it's always been, you know, you know, the girl. Girl club.
Yeah.
The fact that guys can go is, is amazing. And if someone wants details, where do they go? And they just have to get, they have to get the ticket to come with you and then just get themselves to Denver. Correct.
So this one is in Santa Fe, New Mexico. So we're in New Mexico at this time. So we're, we're, you know, I like to change it up. So this is in Mexico and. Or New Mexico, Sorry. And we've got a huge house that actually sleeps 45, but we're making it just really intimate with 20 participants. So what you do is you go to rebeccasilence.com you click on retreats in the menu and then you can either message us if you have questions or just sign up and get your ticket. And then it's all inclusive. So all you Literally have to do is get there and the housing and the food and everything is taken care of.
And if you want details, again, Rebecca silence.com more with Rebecca coming up here. Mixed with a 2.5. The best mix from the 90s to now. Mix with a 2.5 big pop in the afternoon. Mental Wellness Wednesday Life coach Rebecca Silence. And what I want to talk about this week is being able to separate work and home. A lot of people, especially if you have a very stressful job, it's really hard to take the work hat off and concentrate on just being present at home. Can we talk about ways that people can leave work at work?
Yeah. And I think it's really real that people do get preoccupied once they're home with their families, with the to do list or whatever stress they don't feel has been resolved from work. I am a big, big advocate for not compartmentalizing. So let's talk about this two ways. So number one, I do want us to consider that step one to being able to leave work at work is being brave enough to be the version of you that you are everywhere you go. What I mean by that is if there's a part of you at work that has a game face on or that is a version of you that you feel like has to be like on point and that's stressful, it can make it really hard when you get home to have to decompress from that and then become the version of you that you want to be at home. So a way to actually leave work at work in a sense, meaning leave stress at work is to more and more and more just be the you you are, the you you want to be. Both places. Then just know two things. One, that pile that to do, list all that stress. You're not changing it by worrying or being anxious or by focusing on all of the things that you didn't do while you're at home. Like, nothing is actually going to change. A great tip when it comes to worry in general is just know the worrying about the thing doesn't help the thing. Like it doesn't.
Right?
Like it. It only makes you feel like crap and nobody needs that or deserves that. We have enough on our plate already, so. Yeah, go ahead.
No, I was just going to say what about the people that, um. Like law enforcement or corrections officers or even someone like you who deals with a lot of mental things in other people's situations and being able to separate that from when you get home? That's. I mean. Cause that's another thing Too totally.
So, again, like, you just becoming a version of yourself that you love, that you're proud of, that you trust, that you respect. That's very, very important. And then you've got to know your best is enough. And, you know, I appreciate that you mentioned me, because I am. I am basically not responsible for marriages and families, right, because it's up to the client. But I do basically have people putting their hearts in my hands every day on the hour. And then, you know, it's a very delicate place to be, to care so much and then to know that someone's in crisis or something is happening that is stressful for people you care about and there's nothing you can do. So the thing is, you've got to know your best is enough and you've got to get clear about what is yours and what is theirs, right? So, for example, I see people all the time that I work with over functioning for their bosses because they want approval or they want validation or they see how stressed their boss is. If it's the boss's job, let it be the boss's job. You do yours. If the boss is giving you 999 priorities and you don't know which end is up, a great tip I have is to ask, like, what are the top three priorities? As more to do comes at you, have the priorities changed? This is what I believe the top priorities are. Are they different now? You know, so the point is, you've got to know yourself and let your best be enough. You've got to communicate about where you need support. And then all people that are in a job where they feel the weight of other people's pain on their shoulders, please hire a coach or a therapist or get a mentor to process all that with. Because the thing is, it's actually easier to be distracted after work and to be preoccupied and to have that as a habit than it is to be able to be still and let what isn't your responsibility simmer while you enjoy your life. My whole practice, a big piece of the retreats that I do, we have the next one coming in June, is I want people's quality of life to be relaxed and I want people enjoying their lives because we don't know how much time we have, right? Things can change on a dime. We both have friends that we lost that were really, really young, unexpectedly. I mean, you just don't know. So let's enjoy and live our lives and know that that part of us that has the habit of being stressed and distracted and worried that doesn't have to be who we are, how we live it is just what we're used to. So know that. And then if there is real stress at work, get support, talk to your boss, talk to hr, Get a plan to make your experience of work enjoyable. When you're home, it can be enjoyable. Mark and I were having coffee this morning and we were just laughing at about how much fun we have. Mark was like, you know, we were talking about our feelings and this trip we're going to have and some cool adventures that we have on the horizon. And Mark's like, I don't think a lot of people sit around at 7:30 in the morning and talk about their feelings. But I'm proud of us, you know, and we do that. Like that's our life, you know, and we really enjoy it. And I want that for all of you.
It is a mental wellness Wednesday. Life coach Rebecca. Silence. For all the details on the podcast on the upcoming book on the retreat, you can go to rebeccasilence. Com. Rebecca, always a pleasure. We'll talk to you next week.
