How to Make the Most of Your Family Summer Vacation

So, yeah, it is the dog days of summer. And part of this is trying not to compare yourself to other families that you see on social media who are doing a bunch of things with their kids, but at the same time wanting to do things with your children and having that work family balance where you don't want to work too much and feel like you're neglecting your kids, but at the same time you don't want to get fired either. So let's talk about finding that balance and trying to do as much with your kids as you can and want to this summer.

Well, and I think not only should we not compare ourselves to other families, but let's not compare ourselves to what we think vacation should look like. So many people are just go, go, go, go, go. And that's why they say we need a vacation from the vacation when they get home. It's okay for everybody on the trip to have downtime, to have individual time, to have rest. And you get to go into the trip thinking about and deciding what would set me up to win here and what would set us all up to win here and be willing to roll with the punches because the most important thing is quality time.

Mix 102.5, the best mix from the 90s to now. It's Big Papa in the afternoon. Dive for another ment Wellness Wednesday with life coach Rebecca Silence. The book coming out soon. Coming back to life. You can pre order it right now, wherever you get your books. Tougher Together Breakthrough podcast and the emotional survival kit available@rebeccasilence.com Rebecca. Hi, how are you?

Well, hello everyone. We are in the thick of summer and I love it.

This is so funny. We've been doing this for so long and you have no idea what I'm going to ask about, what we're going.

To talk about off the cuff every time.

And you literally were like, hey, it's the, it's the dog days of summer. We're in the middle of summer and I was going to talk about doing as much as you can with your kids this summer. So, yeah, it is the dog days of summer. And part of this is trying not to compare yourself to other families that you see on social media who are doing a bunch of things with their kids, but at the same time wanting to do things with your children and having that work family balance where you don't want to work too much and feel like you're neglecting your kids, but at the same time you don't want to get fired either. So let's talk about Finding that balance and trying to do as much with your kids as you can and want to this summer.

I love that. So, yes, I had no idea this is what we were going to talk about, but I think it's perfect. And also, so let's not forget about, you don't have to bankroll beyond your means because you think it should look a certain way either. Like, there's a way to set your summer up well for you and your family. I love that you said, be very careful not to compare yourself to other families, to other friends that you have and whatever they're doing. And I think it always starts with just as the parent in the scenario. One of the things when I'm working with couples and families that I think is really important to mention here is often the parents don't prioritize them themselves or the relationship above the kids. I just want to invite everybody while we're talking about setting your summer up well, to really think about prioritizing you and what sets you up to win and what sets you up, you and your partner, if you have one up to win, before you're thinking about what do we need to do for the kids to be good parents to the kids? If you're not taken care of, then no matter how much you care about the kids, you're stressed, you're drained. That energy gets in the way of the enjoyment that everybody deserves. So I just want to remind everyone or challenge everyone to think about prioritizing you even when you're thinking about your family.

So, Rebecca, when you say, as a parent, set yourself up before you go and plan with your children, just give a couple examples of what that could look like.

Yeah. So have you even thought about what's your availability? What's your budget? What are the types of things that you want to do versus the types of things that you don't want to do. You know, it's not necessarily that movie on Netflix. Yes. Day with the kids where they get to decide and then you got to find a way to scramble and make it work, you know, by the way.

That'S a great, that's a great movie by the way.

So, so much fun last week with Seneca the seven year old. So you coming to the table with your kids already knowing what you're available for in terms of time and money and resources and ideas has a much more productive conversation when you come to the kids and you're like, okay, what do you want to do? Here's the availability. Here's what we're looking at in Terms of quasi budget, what ideas do you have? Here are the ideas I have. And I just think everybody winning is so important. There were so many years where I was a single mom and I wanted to, you know, over function because I felt like my kid got a bad hand. It's just her and I. She had had a hard time early on and was dealing with me having a hard time early on in her life. So I would not necessarily make choices that made sense long term because I wanted her to be happy. The kids are going to be happy when everybody's set up. Well, stress just isn't an issue.

So let me ask you this. When you come to the table and say, okay, here's. Let's talk about our summer, would it be a good idea to have options? You know, we could do this, we could do this, we could do this. Or do you have other things in mind beyond this? Like, is that a good way to kind of set it up?

So what I think is key is coming to the table, knowing some ideas that you already have that you know would work. And then you can ask your kids, okay, what other ideas do you have that we can see if we can make work? Give them to me. And then I think a great way to start this conversation is have a family dinner and let your kids know. I've been thinking about we have a month left or two months left based on where you are in the country. Right. But because in Colorado, the kids go back to school mid August, where I am. So depending on how much time you have left in the summer, we have a month, two months left in the summer. Let's talk about how it's going and what we want to do with the rest of it. It's going to go fast. Let's figure.

So. So after you have that conversation with your kids and you have an idea of what you're going to do and not want to do, and you have a game plan, I would like to talk about the parent themselves because the parent wants to give a great summer. They want to, you know, have a good experience. There's only X amount of weekends in a summer break and, you know, what can we do? And all that stuff. How do you take care as a parent? How do you take care of yourself where you don't burn the candle at both ends and on Labor Day when the kids go back to school, you literally are just a tattered, frazzled shell of what you normally are. Because I know that there are people listening right now that are doing that as we speak.

Well, And I think not only should we not compare ourselves to other families, but let's not compare ourselves to what we think vacation should look like. So many people are just go, go, go, go, go. And that's why they say we need a vacation from the vacation when they get home. It's OK for everybody on the trip to have downtime, to have individual time, to have rest. And you get to go into the trip thinking about and deciding what would set me up to win here and what would set us all up to win here and be willing to roll with the punches. Because the most important thing is, is quality time, is seeing each other, hearing each other, being with each other, understanding each other and caring about each person's experience.

Rebecca, explain what rolling with the punches means when it comes to this situation.

I think about a trip my family took to Disney. It was New Year's of 2020, right before the pandemic and we were thinking of spring break. And last minute we changed it to January 1st. Go to Disney. It poured the last couple of days like torrential. That's an example of rolling with the punches. My daughter left her pass back in the room and we're already, you know, on the tram all the way, 45 minutes away from where we were staying. Like, how do you navigate all this? These people in the family are very pro roller coasters. These people in the family, not so much. How do you divide and conquer? How do you not force each other to be who you're not? How do you not force yourself to be who you're not? On vacation, you decide. So it's OK to roll with life, how it's happening and still know you can have fun. I remember my honeymoon with Mark. We're about to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary and the honeymoon we took. All these flights were delayed. We had a great time. It's okay. You're together, Enjoy. So know it's important. You're not trying to win some award here. Best vacation planner ever. You're trying to enjoy your family. And we do still have time this summer. And I hope you take this segment and make a choice to do something really fun and cool with your family with some new ideas about how it doesn't have to be stressful and it can be quality.

It's funny, what you just said reminds me of something that I say to brides and grooms when I'm getting ready to DJ their wedding. And one of the things I end the conversation with when you wake up that day, you can't plan anymore. You have to kind of roll with the punches. Things are going to happen. Some things will happen and you won't even know that they happened until after the fact, if you even find out at all. Some things you will. You just have to make the best of it and, you know, have a great day because you just, you can't plan anymore. Just be in the moment and enjoy what it is. And there's a lot of that truth in that when you go, you know, vacation or whatever you do with your family, well.

And I just want everyone to know you don't have to be resentful or have any regrets. And you won't be resentful if you're not spending more than you actually have, if you're not focusing on what everybody else wants instead of you, and if you plan in a way that sets everybody up and then know there's certain things you can't control and you just experience each other no matter what it is that's happening.

It's a mental wellness Wednesday. Life coach Rebecca Silence. The emotional survival kit is available right now@rebeccasilence.com Rebecca, always a pleasure. And we'll talk to you next week.

Enjoy your summer. Bye, everyone.