How To Navigate Birthdays As We Get Older

Live and local with big pop in the morning mixed with a 2.5. It's a mental wellness Wednesday. Life coach Rebecca Silence. RebeccaSilence.com Good morning. How are you?

Good morning, everyone. So grateful to be here. Let's make some magic happen.

Okay, so my birthday is coming up. I know on Sunday they have a parade for me. It's incredible. I'm not, I'm not gloating at all. But I do know that birthdays can become very, very stressful for people. The looking at the reality of getting older, you know, whether you're hitting the dirty 30 or the oh, Lordy, Lordy, they're turning 40. Birthdays can make people very, very anxious. So let's talk about ways to approach the birthday in a positive as opposed to a negative.

Okay.

The right way to kind of frame it with you.

Yeah.

Very stressful.

Yeah. I think this is such a good conversation and it's rare that you and I, after all these years together, have a conversation we haven't had before. And this is one of them. We haven't talked about this in, you know, almost a decade and a half of doing radio together, but birthdays are significant.

I'm feeling old, Rebecca. Starting to feel old now. Get off my lawn.

If you all have haven't heard our episode about insecurity where Gary talks about getting older. Definitely, definitely tune in and watch that. But let's get serious about birthday. So I don't ever like positive, negative paradigms. I think, you know, that can actually be discouraging and, or fake unnecessarily. But what I look at is, is our energy moving us forward or is it holding us back? And we're either on our birthday beating ourselves up or celebrating ourselves. It's that simple. And so if you're beating yourself up, let's really look at. There's no benefit to that and it's going to age you faster. And how can we actually look forward to birthdays and more importantly, celebrate the year we just had as we look forward to the year to come? So if you haven't done this exercise yet, I love to assign this hundred home runs exercise to my clients where I literally ask them to make a list of 100 accomplishments in their life. The goal isn't I want you accomplishment based, but it is to celebrate who you are and what you've created. So whether it's your birthday or not on your birthday or even just today on your own birthday, we'll pull in Alice in Wonderland. My make a list of 100 accomplishments in your lifetime. And it can be as significant, as simple as your brain wants it to be. But I want you to understand it's all a big deal. Everything you've ever done, you know, paying your first mortgage payment, moving into your first apartment, having that kid all of a sudden, getting their first job, their first car, their driver's permit. But what have you created and. And what have you accomplished? And just make a list so that on your off days, on your hard.

Days, Rebecca, I got. I got Grandma be calling.

Oh, Grandma B, we love you.

Yeah, Grandma be calling in during the middle of mental wellness Wednesday. So let's, let's. Let's see. I.

Good morning.

Hi. I'm talking. I'm literally in the middle of doing a segment with Rebecca. Silence.

And.

And she. Well, she can hear you.

Hi.

So she wants a list of 100 things that I've accomplished over my, you know, throughout my life. Do you. Can you name like, like, three things that I've done that over my lifetime just to start me off?

You did the, the sports. Were you long country long where you walk, where you ran long distance.

Oh, cross country when I was in high school. Right, yeah.

Yes, country when you're in high school. Oh, you won the. The soapbox derby for boy scouts on your own when you race that little car, remember?

Yep, yep. Matchbox derby. Yep, yep, yep.

You accomplished wrecking two new cars.

Okay, we. We could stop. We could stop at car accidents. Mom, I'll. I'll call you later. Okay? Love you. Bye.

Oh, Grandma, that was amazing.

Continue this conversation online@mix100025.com all right, so starting the list, 100 things and how big or how small are we talking?

Like, I love Grandma B's perspective. Right? Everything from the cross country running to the Matchbox Car derby to surviving your first two car accidents and getting behind the wheel again after that and going for it again. It doesn't matter how big, how small your brain wants to make it. It's all significant. So what I love to say is just let your soul talk. Don't think about it. Just write. And if you need to ask some people. Okay. What are some things you've seen me accomplish? Just like we just did with Grandma B. Great. But I want you to have the list of 100 accomplishments. And I want you to understand that on your birthday, it is a fresh start. It is an opportunity to reset, to reinvent yourselves. I love my mentor, Brendon Burchard says all the time, nobody knows who you are. Be whoever you want to be. Start over. You think all these people know you a certain way and that you have to be a certain way because of how you're known. Reinvent yourself. And I think birthdays are a great opportunity to go, okay, what do I want to create this year? Who do I want to be this year? What's important to me and most important thing I can say to everybody in this segment is will you please let yourself be celebrated? It's one of the hardest things for many of us that are just givers, givers, givers to receive, being loved and celebrated. But please, on your next birthday, let yourself be celebrated. Let yourself receive the love back that you've given.

When you say let yourself, you know, be loved, let yourself receive it. What, what does that mean?

First of all, don't be one of those people that won't tell anybody it's your birthday. Tell everybody it's your birthday. Okay, start there. Because what I'm not saying is set yourself up for more rejection, more abandonment. Put yourself out there and hope people are going to celebrate you, and they don't. That's not what we're talking about. Say it's my birthday. It's really important to me to celebrate this year. Share with me the number one memory you have with me. You could just do that on social media and let yourself be celebrated that way. I have a friend that just texted me before the segment. She is, you know, in the second half of her 40s, and we're having a major high tea party and we got to get hats, we got to get dressed up, and she didn't care. She booked it. She picked the guest list, she picked the location. She's not waiting on anybody to do it for. She's celebrating herself and she's picking the people she wants with her. And she is expecting to be celebrated for an entire day. And I'm here for it. And I love that leadership and that example. So. So let yourself be celebrated. Put it out there that it's your birthday. Put it out there what you want and let yourself enjoy it and let yourself receive it. No more on your birthday. Oh, I don't need anything. I'm good. Your friendship is the gift. Let yourself be celebrated. Enjoy it. How many birthdays do we have left? We have no idea. But you have this one, and you've come a long way and I want you to make that list of a hundred accomplishments. Most of you won't do it, but the ones of you that that will, it's going to change your life. You are deserving of celebration, and you've done so much. Let yourself have a happy freaking birthday.

Okay? So I'm I'm a little lazy, so I'm going to have social media help me create. Create my list. So, yeah, I'm. That's definitely going to happen. It's a mental wellness Wednesday Life coach Rebecca Silence online. Rebecca Silence dot com. Thank you so much. And we'll talk to you next week.

And at the parade. Tell everybody it's your birthday and let them cheer. I miss doing the St. Patrick's Day parade with you. I will be there. My heart is with you. Happy birthday. You are such a gift, Gary Spears, to all of us. I love you.

Love you, too. Thank you.