How to Navigate Holiday Blues:

Foreign 2.5. We're live. We're local. It is a Mental Wellness Wednesday with the unsilent women life Coach, Rebecca Silence. RebeccaSilence.com Rebecca, good morning. How are you?

Happy Mental Wellness Wednesday, everyone. I am very well and excited. Let's go.

So we are this close to the holidays. We're getting close to Thanksgiving, and we know as once we hit Thanksgiving, it's Black Friday, and then it is full on into Christmas and New Year's. And as great as it is to spend time with people and our loved ones and whatnot, a lot of times depression and loneliness creep in for people that you know are suffering or you know, I don't want to say suffering, but people that may not feel lonely or depressed may start to during days like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Let's talk about that and how to handle that if you start to feel that way.

Yeah, it's really real that seasonal depression is a thing and that the holiday season can squeeze us emotionally in ways that hurts and feels suffocating and terrible. Right. And there are ways to combat and get ahead of the holidays. Being more unhelpful than helpful in this time of year. Being darker than it needs to be. Right. It's dark enough. It gets dark early. But we don't have to go through this season feeling heavy and dark and dissatisfied and upset. But you're human. So the first thing I want to say is, please be gentle with yourself. Yourself and meet yourself where you are. Trying to pretend like I should be positive and I should be more grateful when you really are gutted isn't useful. Right. So meet yourself where you are. I'm feeling real quick.

I'm gonna. I'll. I'll let you go on, but I just want you to circle back. You've said it a few times, but I. I just want to. When you say be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself.

Yeah. It means see yourself as innocent. See yourself as worth giving your best to, even when you're not wanting anything to do with who you are and how you feel in a moment. Right. You not getting close to you on your worst day isn't doing you any favors. Getting closer to you giving yourself. Chelsea Jackson Roberts on the Peloton app where I do yoga, tells me every day I do yoga with her self. Love hugs, babe. Right. And this is cliche and so freaking healing. Right. You telling yourself, be more positive. Not healing. You telling yourself, I have so much to be grateful for. I should just be more grateful. Not helpful. When you're really going through it this time of year. But you saying I'm worth loving even on my worst day, really helpful.

No, it absolutely is.

Right. I deserve to give myself the best of me, whatever that looks like. Right. Because. Because you won't be able to receive from other people more love than you give you. You won't. You'll attract people that don't love themselves when you're committed to not loving you, and then you wonder why those people don't love you.

Well, it's. It's profound and it's so profoundly simple.

Simple and not easy at all. But your ability to receive love is directly correlated to how much love you give you, especially on your worst day. So what I know is on your worst day, you're still magnificent and you're still worth loving. And I want you to give you that gift. Right. And then a few just practical strategies from here, because meeting yourself where you are is everything to start. And then I have a few more practical strategies for you.

And then. And, and so, you know, meeting yourself where you are, be gentle with yourself. That's. That's step one. What else does the unsilent woman Rebecca Silence recommend as we go into the holidays? To not necessarily go down the dark hole of depression and loneliness. The full segment is available online right now@mixorder25.com on a mental wellness Wednesday, more of Rebecca, also available on rebecca silence.com. so, Rebecca, now that. Now we'll. We'll go on here.

Yeah.

So meet yourself where you are, self love. And then what's next?

Okay, so number, number, number one, between now and the end of the year, be more intentional than you've ever been. So what I mean by that is really be strategic about where you're putting your time and your energy and your attention. Being intentional means everywhere you show up, everything you're doing, there's a point behind it that you consciously decided to participate in, right? So being intentional is like, all right, I am willing to do Thanksgiving at my house. Everybody can come here or not, but I'm going to be at my house this Thanksgiving. Or these are the three places I want to be in this particular order. But you designing with intention, where you're going to be, when and how you're going to do every single day between now and the end of the year. I can't emphasize enough how important that is. The second piece of intention is everywhere you end up. What's your intention for yourself? I want to experience peace, joy, fun, you know, passion. Where are you going and what's the intention you want for yourself, how do you want to experience it? What's your intention? For everybody there, these are things that are, again, so simple, but we don't think about. So if I'm going to have, which I am, Thanksgiving with my husband, my youngest, my best friend and her husband, I'm thinking about, all right, What I want for Marcus, what I want for my friend Jamie is what I want for Senica is. What I want for me is. And that just gives me a way to be on top of who I'm being if I want Mark to experience peace and he doesn't have to do all the work and he gets to be supported, too. Now, my actions either are in support of my intention for him or not. So be intentional and then make sure you're focused on these holidays, fitting in with you on your terms. And what I mean by that is you don't have to do anything out of obligation. So drop obligation. Drop it like it's hot. Play yourself some Snoop Dogg and drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot. Any obligation, any should, any toleration it can be. I don't do xyz. I'm not going to be around this person's drinking, and I'm not going to apologize for it. I'm not going to defend it. I'm not going to justify it. I'm just a no to that. Right. No obligation. And let other people be uncomfortable, not you uncomfortable, because you're doing things out of fear and obligation and because you're supposed to. So that is huge.

So that's great stuff. And the one thing that I want to shine a light on is, what if you don't have somewhere to go?

Yeah.

If you. What if you are a widow? What if you are divorced and the kids are with the other spouse and you're, you know, your parents are not around anymore, they've moved, and you just don't have that.

Yeah.

What's a good way to get through that kind of situation? Because that can be really, really dark.

Well, it can. And so this is. This is my last tip. Make sure you're around the people that make you feel loved and seen and supported. And if you think you don't have any, I'm going to challenge that. I'm going to challenge that all day long. Because in most cases, it's not that you don't have people, it's that you don't want anybody to see you this vulnerable. So let me just say that one more time. In most cases. It's not that you don't have people. It's you don't want them to see you this vulnerable. You're feeling shaky at best. You're not feeling your best, and you don't want anybody witnessing that is more likely the case. So who's even one person that if you reached out to them vulnerably and let them know, I don't want to be alone this Thanksgiving, you could call and say that, too, right? You can put a post on Facebook. You know, you can reach out to one person, three people. But reach out, find at least one person. My best friend is coming to Thanksgiving this year because I really wanted to enjoy Thanksgiving and our older two aren't going to be home this year for Thanksgiving, and I'm kind of sad about that. And so I wanted one of my best friends with us, and that's what we're doing. But I let her know this is a vulnerable Thanksgiving. This looks different this year. It would mean a lot to me if you'd come. I risked it. Right? So we don't want to be seen as vulnerable and we don't want to risk being disappointed or someone not showing up, but you showing up vulnerably and asking to not be alone and finding at least one person to call. You can do that or you can volunteer. Find a place to volunteer and go and serve. There is so much beauty in serving, in moments where we don't feel like we have it in us.

No, you're absolutely right. It's a mental wellness. Wednesday Life Coach the Unsilent Woman Rebecca silence available online rebeccasilence.com Rebecca, thank you so much. We'll talk to you next week.

Love you all. Enjoy this time of year. Enjoy. You're allowed.