How to Overcome Financial Struggles and End Dependency on Others

People, for whatever reason, end up in a bad spot financially because of that. They're dependent on family or others, but the family is a toxic thing for that person. But you feel like you can't distance yourself because you are. You feel stuck because you can't. You feel like you can't distance yourself because you need them.

Here's what I want to empower everyone. Listening to know you have the power and ability to make a decision that you will not be financially down and out in 2023. This can be a season that ends just like every other season has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Your season of financial despair. It can be over. And here's the part that might sound contradictory or counterintuitive. You're going to have to decide it's over before it's actually over. Foreign.

Mixer 2.5. The best mix from the 90s to now. It's Big Papa in the afternoon. It's a Mental Wellness Wednesday. Life coach Rebecca Silence. Let's see here. Coming Back to life is the book. You can get it now. It's an amazing stocking stuffer. And of course, rebeccasilence.com for all of your Rebecca Silence needs. And Rebecca, how are you?

Well, happy, happy. Mental Wellness Wednesday, everyone. I'm so glad to be here.

All right, so you. And we never talk about what we're going to talk about, like, anytime.

I have no idea for what is it, like 12 years? I have no idea what we're going to talk about.

No, we, like, we, we talk about, like our own personal stuff, like before, before and after. But you never know what the topic is going to be.

I don't.

So what I'd like to talk about today is people, for whatever reason, end up in a bad spot financially. Okay. And then they're, because of that, they're dependent on family or others to help them, whether it's financially, whether it's places to live, whether it's daycare, whatever that is. But the family is a toxic thing for that person. But you feel like you can't distance yourself because you are. You feel stuck because you can't. You feel like you can't distance yourself because you need them, you know, in, in that time. Can we talk about ways to kind of get through a situation like that? Because I know there are people that are out there that, that, that are.

Well, and this, this one really gets me because I was someone in a position where I thought I couldn't find financially, ever depend on myself. I left a domestic balance marriage with a two Year old, working three jobs, knowing I was going to be going bankrupt, which I did not believing in my own innate ability to provide for this child without child support that I never got 18 years later. Right. So this is a topic that I can relate to. But let's, let's break it up. First and foremost, let's talk about what it's like to be down and out financially. Then let's talk about the guilt, the shame, the emotions that come along with being dependent on other family members or friends financially. And then let's just talk about dependency and how toxic and gross that is. Okay, so the first part. What is it like to be down and out financially? Here's what I want to empower everyone. Listening to know you have the power and ability to make a decision that you will not be financially down and out in 2023. This can be a season that ends just like every other season has a beginning, a middle and an end. Your season of financial despair, it can be over. And here's the part that might sound contradictory or counterintuitive. You're going to have to decide it's over before it's actually over. People don't want to decide. They don't want to trust. They don't want to believe that the shift is possible until and unless there's some magical act, evidence of a guarantee and that guarantee is never coming. I had to go from.

Can you say that again? Can you say that because.

Yes, I can.

You blew right past it. But that's huge.

Thank you. I will say it again because it is huge. Your ability to commit to what you really want, starting with financial, you know, abundance or just, even just a shift. It won't happen once there's a guarantee. You have to decide your financial despair is over before you have any evidence that it makes any sense to commit to. This can change for me. Until you say this will change for me. This can change for me. I'm unwilling for this not to change for me. It won't change and there is no guarantee coming. So I've been there. It made no sense. There was no hope in sight. Couldn't even open up the stacks upon stacks of bills for, for months and months and months. I had to decide. I'm. I'm unwilling to keep living like this. This has to get better. I have to get better until my finances get better. It's not. Life needs to change and then my finances change. I decide it changes and that's the beginning from there. You know, there's a big difference between Rescue, energy and support. So if you have family members that are helping you out financially, ask for for the help in terms of support with really great agreements around paying the money back or how much is a gift and how much is a loan. But don't think that just because family members are helping financially, that means that it's dependency and it's toxic. You can get the help if you need it and not have it be a dependency relationship. So you know, number one, decide finances have to get better. I have to get better with my finances. Number two, get support to help get you out of the hole, to help you start seeing light at the end of the tunnel again. And don't think that makes you dependent. Don't think that's toxic or negative. Just don't let it be you thinking you can't do it yourself so you're taking the money. That's when it becomes dependency. And that's when it becomes toxic and unhealthy. Now dependency, we do this so often. We depend on people for validation, for approval, for money, for, for our self worth to think it's good enough. We also get dependent on people reinforcing all of the things that we believe about ourselves that we think are terrible, right? But dependency in general, it's so dangerous. I've had clients wanting to be dependent on me as their coach. And I'm saying, hold on, I don't know the way. I don't have your answers. I'm here to be a space to help you find your answers. If you want me to be the glue that keeps you together, if you want me to be the one that solves your life, that, that's dependency. That's not what I'm doing with my clients. Right. So dependency just means you don't believe in yourself enough yet. When you're wanting other people to help you, to fix you, to fill the holes inside of you that are just there because you don't believe in yourself yet. I want you to remember you're more powerful than anything you've ever survived. You're more powerful than any season that will end. There is a new beginning insight. You never will feel fulfilled or free if you're dependent on other people to tell you how to live and what to do. I have clients that hear one of their parents voices, if not both of their parents voices answering every question they've ever had in their 50s, 6070s. I see this with clients. You're no longer needing to be dependent on anybody's voice except for yours. And I want you to leave any fear of listening to and following your own guidance in 2022 as we start a new year. And if you need help with this order, coming back to life right now, it's a roadmap to your own answers into your inner badassery so that you can overcome and survive. But way more than that, start living and thriving beyond whatever you're facing, especially financial distress, obviously.

Go get the book. Coming back to life. Wherever you get your books. Can you give us the, like, one first step for people?

Yeah.

Okay, so like the dependency and whatnot.

Yeah. So here's a great, great, great first step. Take a dry erase marker and write on your mirrors all over the house or at least one, I am everything I need because you are. And the more you know that, the healthier the relationships you'll attract. The more money you'll attract, the more fulfilled your life will be, the more free you. I am everything I need. Start with that. That's the first step.

There it is. It is Mental Wellness Wednesday. It's life coach Rebecca. Silence. Hit up rebeccasilence.com a plethora of information. Also, what is the, what's the Facebook group that you guys are in? Because that's pretty awesome.

Thank you so much. It is fully free and it's a private group and it's called the Healing is possible Facebook group. So if you just look up healing is possible all caps, you're going to find a community of, like, mind leaders and difference makers and people that want to be as healed as possible, even if they don't know how.

And of course, the book coming back to Life is available now. And Rebecca, this is the last one for the year. So happy holidays to you and the family. Thank you for all that you do, not only for me personally, but for everybody listening. So thank you so much.

Thank you. Happy holidays. Take care of each other and a new season is just a decision away.

And buy Rebecca's book.

Thank you.