How to Weather The Storm | It's A Life Thing - Lia Valencia Key & Rebeccah Silence

It's a life thing. I'm Rebecca Silence, creator of healing is possible, here with my co host, the gorgeous Leah Valencia Key. We are rocking both of us magic Leah Valencia Key jewelry for this episode without planning it.

I love it. Without plan. Yes.

I love it. We are here to talk about weathering the storm.

Love it. Love it.

Leah, what's it mean?

I love that we thought of that. You know, like what, what do we need to hear today? And it really is. Life is beautiful. It's a life thing, Right? When we talk about it's a life thing, we talk about these ebb and flows of what life truly is. And it is beautiful. It is magical. It's these wonderful moments. But no matter who you are, no matter how, also in your life is storms come.

Yeah.

And we really just need to understand, like, what does it look like to weather the storm? So for me, weathering the storm means rooting. You always hear that word for me. That's one of my. That's my second collection. Rooting yourself so deep into who you are, what you stand for and what you want to be in the world, what you want your life's legacy. Not in this know me famous legacy, but when, when there's just a name of you, what do you want people to say about you? Right? Deciding that now and rooting deep into that. So when these storms come, which they are, whatever the challenge is, you have something that's so planted into your foundation that you can go back to, okay, the storm may be pushing me to do something negative or to be out of character or do something unethical. Right. The storm may be moving me to depression, but I've called myself and I've rooted myself into deciding to choose life. I've rooted myself into honesty. I've rooted myself into loyalty. I've rooted myself into joy above all, even in the most, hardest, most challenging things. And it sounds so superficial, right? Like, oh, this is words. But honestly, when you've decided to be that and now pressure comes against that, now you have something to grab onto.

Yeah.

Right. Because when you're in a storm and you're blowing around and you can blow away and break, it's because you have no foundation. You have nothing to grab onto. So you let the storm take you and you let the storm break you, but you can let the storm bend you, but you're holding on to joy no matter what. In the midst of depression, what does holding on to joy look like? I love actionable things. Well, when your mind takes over, like it truly Can I know. And all these negative thoughts, not from anyone else, but from you, start creeping in and starts to bring you into this very horrible, morbid place. You can call out joy because that's what you believe in. And then once you call out joy, then you say, okay, but what does joy look like in action? Even while the storm is happening, even while your mind is playing all these tricks on you? Have you ever had two talks in your brain? Maybe it's me. Maybe.

We can all source from fear, or we can all source into possibility and what I mean, and it can.

Happen at the same time.

Right? Because both those angels are on your shoulder constantly. My first coach, Carol Reynolds, Leah, she used to say, like, you can actually turn down the volume.

Absolutely.

Don't want to follow. And turn up the volume on the thoughts you do want to follow. But what you're saying, I'm hearing is root in who you are and who you want to be and where your life's going, but also into your core values.

Yes, but. But root in it now when there's no storm.

Yes.

Right. And even if you are in a storm because someone today is like, why am I in a storm right now? Is it too late? Never too late. Never too late to root. Have you ever seen a gardener? They go out in the rain and garden those seeds, they go out and storm in the winter. It's never too late to root. Now you have acknowledgement of what do I need to do? So now get planting. It's never too late to plant who you are going to be and what you are going to live in abundance throughout the rest of your life, no matter what's going on around you. So then now that that happens, like for me, I was just in this recently. This way when you're entrepreneur, this jewelry, any industry that you decide to do, there's obstacles and the obstacles hit you back to back. This goes wrong, that goes wrong. And you, you know, it's my baby. So when I'm presented to the world, if it doesn't go that way, then I'm breaking. I'm breaking in spirit. And so I'm feeling my spirit, humanness break. But then I hear a word of. You decided to persevere. That's what, that's what your ring said. You named it that for perseverance. So then where are you right now? You're breaking, Leah. Okay, so what does perseverance look like? That means turn on. Turn on a message that inspires you and allow that word to pour into your spirit, to fill that Perseverance tank back up, put on a piece of jewelry that says be rooted. And that you can look at the creator and like, if she's making it through the storm, then she's human. I'm human. I can make it through the storm. And arm yourself. So once you're rooted in these words, now start to arm yourself with things that help you fill that root bucket back up.

Well, and it's so much more than words. It's your actual values. And. And aligning with those values are the solution to how you weather that storm. Right? And then I think, too, yeah, you can get taken by the storm, or you can learn how to become the eye of the storm. You can welcome the storm. I don't know anybody who's growing that isn't going to get faced with a storm. If you're just in the calm waters, no, you should worry. It's like time to grow. It's time to.

Exactly.

And I like to play this game with myself where when the storm hits, I'm like, oh, the breaking, for me, anyway, is the breaking of my ego. It's the breaking of my limited thinking. It's the breaking of my fear. It's like, I want the storm. I want the breaking because I want to break down the walls and the barriers to who it takes to get where I'm going. And then I don't think there's any storm stronger than you, whoever's watching, right? So far, there hasn't been a storm. Cancer, childhood abuse, a domestic violence, marriage. Stronger than me. There's not been a storm. Poverty, homelessness, Right. For you. Stronger than you, Leah.

Make it up.

Like, in the middle of it. Oh, my goodness.

We.

What if the storm is stronger than me? Never, never, never, never.

Unless you allow it to be.

Right.

It's your choice. And yes, these things are real. Yes, to admit.

But listen, if you're an adult, it is a choice.

It really is a choice. You cannot choose the storm. I will honestly agree to that. You cannot choose and plan your storms, but you can choose how you respond, handle, grow, and develop and move or not move through it, after it, before it, beyond it. It's all on you. And sometimes it's even okay to get quiet in the storm. Like sometimes the storm is blowing and blaring so much because you need to quiet your mind and to analyze. How are the winds blowing? Which way is the wind blowing? Oh, okay. Adversity is that way. So if adversity is that way, then my mind is quiet so I can understand which direction Do I go opposite of adversity? Sometimes we let our mind get so loud with the storm that that's what takes us to. So I encourage you right now to. If you're in a storm or when a storm does come, if you're already rooted, if you're already armed up, then when the storm comes in and you don't have an answer, then quiet yourself and listen to the storm. Look at the storm. The storm can overtake you, or you can actually become an observer of it to understand what's truly happening and what message and what learning and where you can actually be blessed and bless through.

That storm and decide who you're going to be. And I agree with you, Leah. Nobody causes their storm. But what if you did ask for whatever's in the way of where you want your life to go up so that you. So that you can get to the point where you are being who you need to be to get where you wanted to go, Have a bigger game, have a big dream. And then just when the storm shows up. No. Oh, this is the part where I'm about to get my butt kicked so I can get to the point I said I wanted to get to.

Yes. Do you know. Do you know how many storms I prayed for and didn't even know it?

I just got chills. Totally. Me too.

Praying, oh, God, please, please, oh, show up. I mean, I prayed around the world for Valencia Key jewelry to be birthed. I literally went around the world and found holy places, every place I landed and took myself to pray that I could bring tangible, wearable pieces to the world so that when hearts wear it, it unlocks their greatness, it inspires their love, it inspires their bravery. It shows them that through my life's journey that all things are possible. And so I prayed for that. So now God said yes. And so I'm in it. But then there's challenges with it. And so like you said, allow that storm to come and sometime it is for you. It's not against you or always, always, always. And even if it was against you, you can find a way to make it for you. Some things just didn't start for you. I get it.

Become your way into the storm, to get through the storm. And it isn't your fault. I don't think it's, you know, a punishment or even necessarily for you. It's an opportunity for you to be.

Yeah.

Gonna be. To get where you want to get. And if there were no barriers, you'd already have crossed the finish line. You wanted to cross. Right. Your Believe it bracelet.

Every day I was looking at that. I love it so much.

Right? Every day I wear this because I'm like, okay, I don't know how I'm gonna get there, but believe it. And no, like, what if we could all just normalize that the storms are an opportunity to become more of who we are and. And our commitment game. I think storms happen. And it's easy to want to just throw in the towel, but it's in that storm where your commitment game needs to be even stronger.

It is. And your passion and your heart, and it proves it keeps showing you who you are. My mother always told me I was innately a quitter, to be honest. Innately. Like, I don't like it. No, not for me. I'm out. And my mother continuously before she left this earth, you're not going to quit. Quitting is not an option. You're going to complete something and decide maybe that's not for you and move on to something else. But you're not going to quit. So this beautiful thing and even you're not going to quit life. So I tell someone right now, you're not going to quit life if it was an option in your head. Because sometimes it comes up, let's be real. I'm gonna be the spirit and the word to tell you you're not. Sometimes you need someone to tell you that it sometimes is not even in here where you need it. And that's why I love my jewelry. Like, it's this tangible thing that tells you it's a visual symbol. You're not giving up because there's greatness on the other side. So I'm telling whoever is listening today who may be in a storm or you may not know when a storm's coming. And when you feel that spirit of quitting, you feel that spirit of giving up. You feel that spirit to let that storm win. You won't win. You won't let that storm win. You won't give up. Because when you believe it to be true, when you believe that you won't give up, you're going to do some actions to not give up. That's the power of believing.

I love that. And it literally is as simple as, at least for me, like burning the option, going to love it. As long as you're flirting with. It might work out, it might not. You're in trouble. Speak to how this applies to relationships also, because especially in 2021, I'm doing so many couples intensives with people. Two days with me to help them rebirth, reinvent whether they stay together or not, their relationship. And I think a lot of people, when there's a storm in a relationship, they get scared that maybe the relationship can't make it. But the storms in the relationships will bring you closer together if you let them.

Yes.

Well, we get scared that something bad is happening. And what if when a storm happens, nothing bad's happening? It's just more of an opportunity to. To step up, to love more, to live.

Well, that's what I love about you, Rebecca. I love. You are then the human form. That's why I love your coaching. Right. You're the human form. Because sometimes we need. I call earth angels and I call you one of my earth angels. You need a human earth angel to show up and help you clear out some things in your mind. Clear out some options in your mind. Plant some new roots. Help you plant some new roots for yourself. Because they see the roots and the capability of what is possible. And so they help you plant it and you help water it and you help it grow. And there's a beauty. And once you've decided, once you have these visual things when you're alone, but then grab your community, grab your circle, grab a coach like Rebecca. And because that's how you get through the storm. I think the last thing for me is you don't get through a storm alone.

Oh, yeah. And with every storm, we're both wearing our it's possible earrings.

Yeah.

There's possibility. And easy to make up is that, oh, there's a storm. There is no hope. But you dare let yourself get sucked into hopelessness just because there's a storm.

Yeah. And if you're feeling hopeless and you're feeling there's no possibility and you can't physically get yourself there, get yourself to a coach.

Right.

You know, you are awesome. Coach. Get yourself to someone that can pour in the possibility for you. Because. Cause all you need is a seed planted and maybe you need them to water it a couple times, then you can grow it yourself. And that is how you weather a storm.

Yeah. And what if you took on each storm as an opportunity to accept the challenge or let it kick your butt. It's like a wave in the ocean. Right. It can eat or it can be a glorious experience of flow.

I have this Hawaii story. I can't swim side personal information. If anyone wanted to know about me one day I will. We'll hone that and claim that for me. Someone. And I'm in Hawaii and oh, my God, everyone The water in Hawaii, that's everything you hear about. And they talk about the waves. Now I don't think about the waves part of it, right? So I armor up with a life jacket. So I'm not afraid of water if I have a life jacket on. So I put a life jacket on and I'm like, it's this beautiful coral reef area. I'm like, I gotta see the coral reefs. I'm not missing out because I can't swim. So I go down and I'm going to see the coral reefs. And I'm supposed to stay close to stand level because I can't swim. However, no one told me that water takes you. I don't care if you do have a life jacket on or moves. So I'm looking at, oh my God, I'm seeing the glory of God and the beautiful colors. And then waves start to come in. And when you talk about catch a wave in Hawaii, I've never seen a wave. They just start coming and taking over me and coming and taking over me. And literally I couldn't breathe anymore. And in my snorkel, because I had a snorkel, was getting foiled up and. And I was in the midst literally of a wave storm. And I literally at some moment was like, I can't swim. I don't even have water rescue skills. I don't know if I'm going to make it. Thought one, thought two said, oh, you're going to make it. You keep paddling, you keep strategizing, you keep moving. You know, land has to be that way. You keep kicking, you keep trying ways, getting your head up whenever you can, getting that snow girl putting it back down. And you keep fighting Leah. Right? And I am telling myself this through all of these things and I'm getting smashed. And by the time I look up, I am able to stand. And that's what life is like. Yeah. You may think it's almost over, but if you keep pushing and you keep trying and you keep shaking that snorkel out, and whenever you can get your head a little bit of water, you breathe a little and then you get that snorkel back on and you keep going. And as that thing keeps hitting you, you keep trying something different. Try is the key. And people don't like the word try. Like, don't try, do. No, sometimes you just gotta try because you don't even know when. Because try is an action word. Yeah, try with that. It's a movement word. You know, doing is action, but sometimes trying is. You don't know if this is going to work. That's the key that I want to say about getting through these storms. How do you get through try not try and brain think of try try in an action of doing something that you have no clue that might work. I don't know if me emptying this snorkel is going to make me to my next breath but I'm sure going to try. I don't know if I get my head above water and will the storm come in and get in my mood but I'm sure gonna try. And every actionable try leads to some sort of movement. Well.

And I just want to give them also this word yet. Right. Because we don't know when the storm will end. But what if we all can take in right now? Every storm does end eventually.

Yes.

Haven't figured out that action that's effective yet. Just remember yet again hearing you talk about I can't swim and I'm hearing yet swimming. I used to be a distant swimmer, Leah. Little known fact about me, I'm a swimmer from. I'm the strongest swimmer ever. Let's see.

This is what I love about our. I love our interaction because you just have these two opposite life experiences. Experiences but with the same mindset of growth. Right. That is beautiful. Totally our connection. So that means anyone who's listening, maybe you can't swim yet. Maybe you can swim long distance. Right. But you have a mindset of doing. You have a mindset of succeeding. You have a mindset of never giving up. You have a mindset and that's where we all win. That's where the playing field gets equal. Yes. In the mindset how do you level the playing field? Your mind.

And it starts with the gas in the tank being possibility.

Yes.

Ability. That I'm eventually going to figure out the right action. There's a possibility that I'm just not there yet. But I will be. And every storm, if you are unwilling to stop moving and if you know you're just not there yet and that there will be a moment where like Leah's story, you can stand up, your feet suddenly have ground beneath you and roots that are solid, that moment is coming. As long as you just won't quit, just don't quit. I like to say you can't skip the struggle it takes to grow.

No.

And it's worth it.

It's worth it. This message is not just for the people listening. It's for me. I love when I share my heart because I'm not. I'm not talking to the choir. I'm not talking to the audience. I am pouring into my spirit. Every time I pour out these messages for any heart that's willing to receive it, the beauty for me is then it pours back into me to strengthen my foundation. Any strong, even stronger. So I think, like, I thank everyone for listening because I pray that you, you are stronger today. But I am stronger today just being able to encourage you and inspire you. And as I encourage you, I encourage myself. And let's do it together. That's what I love. That's what Balencia Q Jury is about. It's a community. We can't do it alone. Do it together, and together we will get to our greatness. Is a fact.

Absolutely. And then each storm, at least for me, is okay. I'm in the storm because I'm in unchartered waters or I wouldn't experience it as a storm. Think about storms you've already overcome, that they come back and they don't feel like a storm anymore.

Exactly.

You know how to navigate that experience. And then once you're in now, eventually, as long as you stay committed, you're going to know how to navigate and it won't feel like a storm anymore. And then. My husband likes to joke, right? There's always another storm because we're still alive and we're growing.

There's always uncharted waters. I love what you're saying. Like, there's always uncharted waters. There's always growth. There's always life.

Right?

Even if it's a water that you didn't want to be in, that's life.

You're still here. And I love all these water metaphors today.

Me too.

But keep going. Keep swimming. You are there. Maybe it just doesn't feel like it yet, but you have everything you need.

Have it all. And through it all, I ask you to smile. I know it sounds crazy. I do. And through it all, I ask you to. I don't care how bad. I find some joy. Find it, look for it. Seek it out. Because that's. That's the last way to win. You know, you're fighting. You're fighting your way through. Even trying to get successful, you're fighting. But why you don't, you know, you can fight your way through, but look up and smile, you know? And that's living. Fighting all the time to beat the storm and push through. And that's a beautiful perseverance. But you gotta live. And living is enjoying and joy and finding it.

I needed to hear that today. That's such a great reminder for me. It's easy to understand that. But to be enough and courageous enough to implement, I can still lighten up and smile even in a storm. What a gift.

Gear.

What a gift if people can really take in. We always have the ability to keep moving. We always have the ability to remember we're not there yet. But doesn't mean we're not going to end up where we want to go. And then to remember, you can smile, you can lighten up, live in a storm and live more.

You don't know when your last days are. You don't. My mother passed super early. And you know you can choose, you can do. Choose to do this life a couple ways and many different ways, but I pray that you choose to find some way to truly live in it and truly embrace it and truly find joyful moments even when there are hard times. And I promise you that it'll lighten the load up. When I'm, you know, I laugh a little like, oh my God. Then I look up, someone calls me or texts me. I'm not so consumed that I don't break away. Because I know once I break away, I start to live. And then once I can live, then I can do so live a little.

Yes. And don't let the storms define you. Let the storms give you access to more life. So good. It's life thing.

Leah.

Leah Valenzi. A key. I'm Rebecca. Silence, creator of healing is possible. We're here today talking about weather in the storm and sending you so much love, Leah. I just love and adore you.

I adore you more.

We'll be back with more of it's a life thing. You're stronger than the storms.

Yeah, you are.