Letting Go of Self-Imposed Pressure: Unlock the Key to a Stress-Free Life

If self inflicted and self imposed pressure has been suffocating the life out of you for far too long. If you're ready for life to stop feeling so heavy and lighter, and if you're ready for more life, you don't want to miss a beat of this episode. We're going. Okay. Three, two, one. Foreign I'm Rebecca Silence author, media personality and emotional healing and relationship coach. Just so excited and grateful and honored that you're here with us for the healing is possible experience today. This is a show that is designed to help you come back to life, get to a place where you feel fully alive and where your life is yours. And, and while healing isn't promised, it's possible. Today's episode is so important. And please do share the content with anyone you feel would benefit. And as always, subscribe to our channel so you can get the latest and greatest content in real time at your fingertips. All right, so let's dive in. What I'm going to share with you today are the three root causes of self inflicted pressure and then what to do about it. And then stay till the end where I'll share my favorite practice for releasing this self imposed pressure that's just unnecessary and no longer has to be part of our day to day or even just weekly lives. So what is it that causes this self inflicted pressure? What I think is so important to point out first and foremost is self inflicted pressure. It's not your fault and it's no one else's fault. It's a survival tactic. Okay, so here's what I mean by that. We learned to be hard on ourselves and we learned to push ourselves so that we could survive traumas, stress, heartbreak, emotional pain in whatever form it was showing up in. This became a way of coping. And we don't have to continue coping this way because as adults we are the leaders of our lives, especially when we powerfully choose that. But just know the first major root cause of self inflicted pressure is survival. We almost don't know how to survive without it. So what I want to invite you to do is close, close your eyes, take a deep breath in through your nose, out through your mouth, and realize the self inflicted pressure never actually kept you alive. It just gave you a sense of control at a time and in a situation where you felt like you had no power or control, this is huge. The second big root issue and underlying cause of self inflicted pressure is trying to be who you think you should be as opposed to who you really are. This is a big conversation. I have several Videos about it. In my book Coming Back to Life, I literally guide you on how to choose who you want to be, how to become who you really are, how to connect to who you really are. But for today's purposes, I just want to point out how painful it is to reinforce how much we don't believe we are acceptable enough, okay, just as we are. I used to be so achievement driven, like so achievement driven. Results, achievement results, achievement, accomplishments. That's what I would strive for, to try to fill the emptiness. The parts in me that just didn't believe I was enough or worthy or deserving just as I was. So I was trying to create someone I wasn't. I was believing who I was, wasn't okay, just as I was. Talk about hell on earth. So we've got this opportunity right now, together, in this moment, to not only recognize but to powerfully choose that it isn't about doing more or achieving more or accomplishing more, or rushing ourselves into more. It's about resting and relaxing, which I'll talk more about here shortly. Into the certainty that I am enough, right here, right now, with all of the results I currently have. You don't need to do more, create more, be more. To let yourself realize who you are. That's it. Being who you are, that's a solution. That's a cure to the self inflicted pressure that just again, no longer has to be a rule you live by or something you tolerate or worse, a way that you cope. Finally, the third major root cause of self inflicted pressure that I want to point out today is we think we have something to prove. Self inflicted pressure. It's about trying to prove ourselves. But what I want to ask you, and this is a real question, think about it or write it down. If you've got a paper and a pen handy. Who are you trying to prove yourself to exactly? Or whose approval do you feel like you think you need to just let yourself be enough as you are in this moment. Maybe it's one of your parents, maybe it's a sibling, maybe it's a grandparent, maybe it's a, you know, teacher that you had or a former mentor. But who in the hell do you think can give you the approval to finally give you permission to relax into you, to take that pressure off your shoulders? This is a theme that I'm seeing in my private practice with clients. There's the character in the movie Encanto that just is so afraid to put the weight down because she thinks everything will crumble if she does. And man can I relate to that character and to the song Surface Pressure and what's so beautiful. I love that title. Right? Surface Pressure because it's an. It's an illusion. The pressure, the need to carry it, the belief that you can't survive without it, that you're not okay without it, and that you have something to prove. This is on the surface, and I want to take us deeper today, deeper into what's possible for you. When I first heard someone say to me, your worth is just you being in the room. It's not about what you do. It's about you just being here, I thought that was a whole bunch of horseshit. I thought, no, I've got to do enough so that I somehow create this. I'm irreplaceable, I'm needed experience for myself and everyone around me. And I have never been more anxious and depressed than I was in the seasons where I had to keep doing, doing, doing, pushing, pushing, pushing, being someone I wasn't. In the name of trying to prove myself and in the name of trying to gain approval from other people. Who's yours? Who's yours? Whose approval do you feel like would finally give you the right to put down the weight, to take off the pressure? That's my big question for you now. What do we replace all of this with instead of survival? It's time to live. So what I want us to replace pressure with, when it comes to the part of us that doesn't know how to survive without it or doesn't trust that we know that we could survive without it again, the pressure that you put yourself through is not the gas in the tank that created the achievements and the accomplishments. They're separate. You just put yourself through unnecessary stress and hell while you were the person that was able to achieve and accomplish this is so big. And I know some of you are just realizing, oh, my goodness, I thought that pressure was the way to my goals, was the path to get me across the finish line. And I hope what you're seeing is, no, they're two separate things. They don't actually go together like peanut butter and jelly. And you accomplished because of who you are. And the pressure, that was just an ingredient that you threw in the recipe that didn't need to be there. Ok, so what do we replace this with? We recognize that pressure is actually draining our life force. And so what we do instead is we recognize that authenticity, our truth, that's what will have us no longer proving ourselves, surviving and under all of this pressure, but just experiencing life in the moments that we find ourselves in. And that's what I think it's all about experiencing me in the moment I'm in so that from there I can make my next correct right choice for me. And I say this over and over again on repeat, but I don't think I can say it or emphasize it enough. There's not a right or a wrong way to live. There's not a right or a wrong way to heal. There's not a right or a wrong choice. There's just what's best for you. So instead of survival, my goal is to empower you to let your authentic truth guide you to your right next correct choice for you. It does not matter if it's good enough or acceptable enough to anybody else. When it is right for you, you know it. And so if there's judgment, if there's feedback, if someone questions you, that's just their prerogative, their perspective, their opinion. It doesn't mean you weren't right. Every time you're authentic and brave enough to make your next right choice. Not only do you model that possibility for every life around you, but you can know that there's no way you would ever have any regrets because you followed your path. Your yes, the second big thing we've talked about here is trying to be who you're not. So we already talked about authenticity and following your yes, and listening to your own inner guidance and finding your truth. And if you don't think you have the ability to access inner guidance or inner guidance at all, definitely get coming back to life and or take my free Trigger Trauma Release masterclass@rebeccasilence.com so you can start to clear out some of the emotional clutter so that you can make room so that you can hear your yes. But what I want to share here is that you can literally just decide who you are. Now, I know that sounds maybe ridiculously simple. Not necessarily easy, but simple. But I promise you, we don't just wake up one day and know who we are. We don't just suddenly find ourselves on a mountaintop. No, what we do is we realize when we're living out of alignment with ourselves and when we're putting pressure on ourselves, we are living out of alignment with ourselves. So when we've noticed that, we can just decide who we are now in this season, and for me, the pro tip has been what's the like, where am I going? What's my vision and how do I want life to feel? And who would I have to be to create that vision? Of how I want life to feel. And sure, if what motivates you is a result, an outcome, an accomplishment, or an achievement, who would you need to be to pursue that? But more than anything today, what I hope this episode offers you is the opportunity to let how you feel and how you want to experience life be your ultimate guide. I want you so solid within yourself that you know who you are and let the world meet that version of you. And I'm just going to share from there. My accomplishments have just skyrocketed, but I'm not pursuing the accomplishments to find a way to take my life back or to feel more alive or to feel okay in my own skin. I am feeling how I want to feel, being who I choose to be. And from there, I can produce and create so much more from an effortless place. Now I am 42 years old. This has not been easy. It took a cancer diagnosis and a 5% chance to live for me to recognize. Hold on a second. On to number three. I have nothing to prove. I have everything to give. And so the third thing that I want to invite you to take on as we let go of the pressure of trying to prove ourselves to someone, is I want you to be able to look into the mirror at least once a day. Mirror work is one of the greatest free tools. If you can't look in your own eyes, in the mirror, and have love and compassion and genuine pride in who you are and who you've become, knowing what you've been through and what you've done with that and who you are now and where you're taking your life, this is a practice that you can practice until finally you can see in your own eyes not just who you are, but you. Seeing you and being proud of who you are, that's the goal we're looking for. I want you to take all of that pressure that's been the result of you trying to prove yourself. And I want you to to let yourself be proud if you're here. You are one of the rare people in this world that cares about being your best, that cares about self growth, self development, and you personally mastering your own Life. There's about 1% of the world's population that does more than just consume information. And only about 5% of the adults around the globe care about even just consuming personal growth. But only 1% of the 5% live it. Take steps to implement and to integrate. And I want you congruent, I want you aligned. I want you to let yourself put the weight and the pressure Down. Finally. I promise. You've been through enough. No more survival. No more trying to be someone you're not. No more trying to prove yourself. Let yourself connect to authenticity. Let yourself follow your right, correct path as you decide who you are now and who you want to be. And let yourself know, as you look in the mirror, that it is not only okay, but essential that you get proud of who you are and who you've become and where your life is going. I am so proud of you. I am so honored you're sharing this time and space with me and with the healing as possible family and community. And what I want to offer here, last but certainly not least, is a practice that I use to take the pressure off. I'd love to invite you to close your eyes with me again. Just keep taking in deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth. And as you breathe, please know this practice is not about faking it until you make it. This practice is about letting go of the pressure and letting in your own light. What I want to invite you to do is connect to your heart. And I want you to imagine a beam of light, doesn't matter how big or how small, shining out your heart chakra into the world. And now I want you to imagine that light expanding even fuller and farther until you get to the point where it's almost like a Care Bear stare. You've got this light pouring out of you, and I want you to let it fill you from the inside out as you radiate it out into the world. And I want you to imagine this light filling your entire being from head to toe. I want you to imagine this light warming up and comforting the parts of you that didn't know, that didn't trust, how okay you are as you are. And now I want you to let the light shine out the top of your crown chakra. And I want you to let it go all the way down your legs, into your feet and out your feet. Let this light shine. And I want you to now imagine the light beaming out of you 360 degrees. And I want you to know that this light, it can't get bright enough. And this light, it has never been a problem. And this light, it will never go out as long as you're still breathing. And you always have the ability to connect back to your breath and to connect back to your light and to let this light open you back up. This is actually how you're the safest. And when you're the safest, when you're connected to Your light and unapologetically shining. And anyone that wants to tell you something's wrong with your light or anyone that tries to tell you to dim it down or dumb it down, you can just blow them a kiss and let them watch you walk away. Because there is nothing wrong with your light. There is nothing wrong with you. There has never been anything wrong with you. And while you may feel broken or have felt like you were broken, you've never been broken. Your heart's been broken. And that heartbreak doesn't mean you have something to make up for. That heartbreak doesn't mean you've got to live in spite of for another second. That heartbreak is what has you here with me today, connected to your light again. So this meditation and this practice, this is the way out of panic attacks. This is the way out of depression. This is the way back to you. Belonging to you again as you proudly take up your right to take up space in this lifetime. You are so beautiful. I see you. I can feel your light. I have chills. I'm honored that you are here with me and I want to invite you right now to take all this weight, all this self inflicted pressure into your own hands. These precious hands that give so much and care so much. And I want you to drop it. Take a deep breath again. Not easy. But it is this simple. And it is possible to live the rest of your life without believing. You need pressure to somehow motivate you. It's never been the case. Your light is so much more powerful. It's such a better choice when you're trying to figure out what gas to put in the tank and to motivate yourself from the inside out. How about connecting to your light? How about when you don't know what to do or what to say, connect to your light and ask it to shine in such a way that you inevitably see the answer. You're so beautiful. Thank you for being here. This is the healing is possible experience. The darkness is real, but so is the light. The light in you. I'm Rebecca. Silence. What an honor. Visit rebeccasilence.com where you can access my amazing course, the Emotional Survival Kit, where you can access my book Coming Back to Life. And again, where you can access the free trigger trauma release method that can have you releasing more pressure and healing through more heartbreak than you can even imagine. I will see you soon. I love you so much.