Rebeccah Silence shares her latest cancer check-up results: three liver tumors found in August 2020 are benign and growing slowly. After a grueling seven-hour testing day, she reflects on finding strength through gratitude for her husband Mark and the small miracles that sustain her through fear.
Questions this video answers
August 2020
Seven hours
They are benign (not dangerous), though they grew slightly
A new Peloton; 12 classes in a week
Your healing is possible message today about miracles. I can't emphasize enough how hidden in plain sight miracles are 100% of the time. And then when I'm talking about miracle, I'm talking about the moment it all starts to make sense to you. The moment that it's not scary anymore. The moment you see possibility when there wasn't any previously. Those are the moments of miracles. And those of you that have been supporting me and with me over the years in general, but especially related to my cancer journey, I'm talking to you with the deepest, deepest gratitude today, starting with Mark, my husband. I mean we, man, have we been through hell. But all of you that have loved me, that have seen me well even when I wasn't, all of you that have stood by me and stood for health in general, but also my health, I just, I can't thank you enough. And I've talked publicly about last summer, August of 2020, there were three tumors found in my liver. And I've had several follow up tests. And this last Friday was the last seven hour day of tests and appointments and getting poked and prodded and looked at naked with a black light magnifying glass, trying to see if there were any icky, scary spots that might need to get cut out or come off. And we did a longer MRI to look at my liver on Friday. And I just wanted to talk about what do I do? Like how do I navigate? And what I'll tell you is it's a mess. I was crying with Mark the night before. I was crying the day of, but all of it wasn't, they weren't all tears of pain or frustration. They were also tears of literally genuine gratitude of where I am today. There's also fear every time I have to get into basically a coffin and get basically into a position of putting my life in other people's hands and seeing what technology tells me is going on with me. I guess what's more important to me than anything today is to just talk about looking for the miracles. And that above all else is what carries me through. I know I had a really great friend, Nikki Touser, tell me years ago on my way into a scan. All that's going to happen, Rebecca, is you're going to get information. And so I know that. And then I'm looking for information not just about what is showing up in my body or not, but also what is available to me in terms of miracles. And you know, the night before the scans, Mark and I got so connected so profoundly on a deep, intimate, emotional level. And I just was so happy. I have the life and the marriage and the family and business and just gorgeousness that I get to experience every day in my life. That for so long was a dream come true. And it's here, and I'm. Well, I bought a new peloton last week, and I've done 12 classes in a week on that bad boy, and I've crushed it. And, you know, I just have so much life that I'm so grateful to be living. And it's a miracle to be here when I was told I wouldn't walk again. To be here when I was told, prepare your well, because the odds aren't good. And to be this well, and then it does throw a freaking curve ball when there's tumors in your liver when you thought you were well. And stage four cancer is possible at any second. And, you know, what do I do? I feel how I need to feel. I feel what's real. I stay connected and I stay hopeful. And you can't be hopeless and hopeful at the same time. And hope isn't like I'm trying to be idealistic or naive or not deal with the real shit. I deal with the real shit, but I stay hopeful for the miracle. And I think that's the only way I found them. And I experienced miracles with every staff member at the cancer hospital. The seven hours I was there, we ran into someone that we know that's going through cancer, that was alone, that we were able to connect to and support that day. And then she wasn't alone. And we were in it together. Laughed a lot, I cried a lot. I went to conveyor belt sushi with Mark after when I got the all clear, and I am all clear. And then there are still tumors in my liver. Like, they are not gone. They actually grew a little bit, but they are benign, they are not dangerous. And I meet with a liver specialist soon to just talk about next steps and what are we going to do, but the miracle of my life, the miracle of all the lives that I get to come in contact with and support, the miracle of my family, the miracle of my body and how hard it works for me, even when I want it to be farther than it is all the time. I do still have some work to do to get through the part of me that doesn't want to be patient or appreciating exactly where I am, because that is real, too. But, you know, the process I put myself on that I want to share with all of you today is I just. I pray for the miracle. Show me the miracle that I can't see yet. Show me the miracle. Allow me to experience the miracle. Allow me to get into the place of being with the miracle in life as it is right now. That is what I go to bed with at night. When it is hard, that is what I wake up with. When it is hard, that is what I do. When I am appreciative. That is what I do when I am coaching my clients. Let's find and access and follow the miracle together. And my message for all of you today is when you are hopeful that a miracle exists right here, right now, hidden in plain sight, only then can you find it and live it and experience it. And that is what I want for all of you. And I am grateful for the miracle of health. And the breakthrough that I got this last weekend is just again, on an even deeper level, being reminded of the miracles that exist around me all the time. And I wanted to share with you that miracles exist for you. No matter how hard it is, how painful it is, or how scary it is for you right now, the miracles are right here. And just commit to finding them, seeing them and experiencing them, and you will. I love you so much. Healing is possible. And I'll see you soon.
