Make a 'Reset' in the New Year with Rebeccah Silence

So we are still in the start of the new year and I wanna check in with you. How are you doing? Really, I mean that question. A lot of people are feeling like, mm, they need a reset. Whatever, you know, they want to admit it or not, they really need it. So love and emotional healing coach Rebeccah Silence, one of my favorite guests ever, is back on the Coco Couch to help us navigate a reset. I need you. I desperately need her. "We are at the start of a new chapter." How does someone know, Rebeccah, if they indeed need a reset?

Yeah, well, first of all, why would we wait until we need it?

Yeah, that's true.

If you just want one, that's enough, okay?

You don't wanna wait until you need. Yeah, right, that's true.

Yes, but what will indicate it's time for a reset is you're not having fun anymore. I want us enjoying our lives. And I'm the coach that says, you do not need a breakdown to break through. You don't need to fear threatening what you've built or worry about can people handle it when something needs to change for you. It's your life. Say yes to getting the most out of your life right now.

I really, can I just say that you don't need to break down to get a big breakthrough.

You do not.

Yeah, and you don't wanna go that far.

No.

That's so smart, I love that about you. Fear is a common emotion, very hard to conquer. When it comes to wanting to make a change in your life, how do you suggest we even like approach this emotion?

Yeah, well, the fear is real, but you know what is really close on the emotional scale to fear is excitement. So let's take our fear and look at how do we get excited about how life is going to be different this year. For so many of you beautiful viewers, it's Groundhog Day.

Yeah, it is.

It's the same thing. We go through the motions.

We wake up with dread.

We're focusing on achievement, we're focusing on taking care take care of all these people and all of the to-do list. But instead, what would it be like to find just one thing that you want to create for yourself this year that you're excited about?

Yeah, I used to do stand-up and I'd be so scared behind the scenes.

Yeah.

And someone said turn that into like excitement because they're really closely related.

They are really close.

It's so interesting.

And then don't be afraid to get close to the fear. Breathe it in, breathe it out, and focus on You can handle this. The fear isn't more powerful than you. You are always so much more powerful than the fear.

Than the fear, wow, I love that. So break it down a little bit. Where does this stupid, stupid fear come from? Like, why is it there?

Okay, the fear is there because you want more than you've ever seen anyone in your family create. That's the real answer. So when you're trying to break through and create possibility, that you don't know exists yet because no one in your family has done it yet. That can bring up so much. And you're not arrogant and you're not narcissistic and you're not conceited to want more than what you've seen. But you are gonna have to be brave. You're not trying to be better than anyone, but you're blazing a trail and there's no footprints in the snow for you to track from, and that can be scary. I was the first woman in my family to start her own business.

Wow.

And to be able to support the family financially on her own. Wow. It is terrifying. If you want better love than you've ever seen, better health than you've ever seen, better money than you've ever seen, if you have a business idea and no one in your family has had their own business, it can be scary to go—

Yeah, overwhelming.

I'm raising my hand, I'm saying yes, and I'm gonna do this. Yeah. But if you can see it, you have it inside of you to create it, whatever it is for you.

That's so good to hear. So help us out, how do we start the reset? What are the beginning steps?

Well, you have to make a decision. Okay. You have to decide to decide that this moment in time is a catalyst for your growth instead of this moment in time is holding you back from the life you want. So many know what they don't want, but they don't know what they do want. So a reset can look like a deep breath. A reset can look like hiring a coach, unmatched support to help you stay accountable to yourself for who you said you'd be this year. A reset isn't about doing more, Tori. It's about being more of who you really are and getting the most out of your one precious life.

Yeah, which I, I mean, I think we all would want that. I think we all would like that. So this might be hard for people to hear, but who really holds the answers to the changes you were going to make? And I have a feeling I know what you're gonna say.

Yeah, so my private clients, my clients in my membership community, the Own Your Voice Society, those that come to my retreats, those that read my book, they've all raised their hand and said yes to reinventing themselves. And we're talking about a reset, but I wanna use the word reinvention.

Mm.

Because we're gonna take what's working already and build off of it. I don't want you lighting a match and burning your life down.

Yeah.

Right? Shutting down your business, cheating on your spouse, or filing for divorce just because you need a reset. No, let's reinvent building off the best of you and focusing on a year of joyful fulfillment versus what I call high-functioning unhappiness.

Yeah.

It's all on you, but the good news is you're the only one that can change your life.

I was gonna say, is it me?

And with support, you can make those changes happen faster than than you can believe. It doesn't have to take a lot of time to heal or to grow or to transform. It takes a decision and it takes you being willing to be responsible for creating a life that feels good to you.

So that's my lead-up question here is to that. What if you are in a depressive place, which I know a lot of people are, right? And you feel like you don't have the motivation to even raise your hand to say, I wanna make a decision. You're sleeping all day, you can't eat, what do you think?

Well, I think when we're not motivated like that, we're just not feeling like life is bad enough yet to force our hand, which is the wrong way to look at growth. Again, we don't need a breakdown to break through. And here's the thing, when your foot falls asleep and starts to wake up, it hurts, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Well, when your life has fallen asleep and it starts to wake up, it hurts. But only temporarily.

I know.

So you're just afraid to say yes, and it's a freeze response.

Yes, yes.

And nothing is wrong with you. It's not that you're not motivated. It's that right now, the thought of making any changes feels insurmountable.

Absolutely.

So let's use empowerment instead of you disempowering yourself to go, listen, if right now I'm not happy, that's not good enough for me.

No.

I get to be happy, right? My clients say yes to a life that's theirs, and you get to say yes to a life that's yours. Just because.

I know, just because. I'll always say yes to you, Rebeccah. You're amazing.

I've got you.

Amazing. So you can continue the conversation and connect with Rebeccah by following her on social media. Her handle is @rebeccahsilence, or find her online at theunsilentwoman.com. Now while you're there, check out her book. Again, it's on my nightstand, Coming Back to Life. I so appreciate you.