Overthinking and How to Control Your Thoughts to Get the Best Outcomes

Overthinking. That's so good because people literally can be their own worst enemy if they, you know, there's one thing about thinking about something, but then there's overthinking and overthinking and overthinking and figuring themselves out of whatever the situation or thing is.

It's so easy to just naturally go into what I call a survival mode, focusing on the worst case scenarios, trying to protect yourself instead of looking at what is possible here, what is available to me here, and what's the most compelling, what's the most inspiring, what's the best case outcome available here?

Mix photo 2.5 the best mix from the 90s to now. Big Papa in the afternoon Mental Wellness Wednesday coach Rebecca Silence, author of the book Coming Back to Life, available wherever books are sold and of course, all of your Rebecca Silence needs available@rebeccasilence.com Rebecca, how are you?

Well, hello. Can we believe that we're almost finished with January already?

Crazy, right?

2023. It's moving right along.

And earlier this week, it was the most depressing day of the year. Did you know that?

I did not. Is it the. Which day was it educated?

The way, the way they, the way they work it out. It's the third Monday of January every single year.

Yeah, very interesting.

So the fact is we got through it. That means it's all gravy from here.

Well, it can be, right? It can be. Because we can use that darkness as fuel and momentum, as cliche as that sounds.

So what I would like to talk about today is something that a lot of people deal with and a lot of people do on a regular basis, and sometimes they realize it and sometimes they don't. Overthinking, that's so good, because people literally can be their own worst enemy if they, you know, there's one thing about thinking about something, but then there's overthinking and overthinking and overthinking and thinking themselves out of whatever the situation or thing is.

Absolutely. Well. And Dean Graziosi, one of my mentors and teachers, he teaches about. In every moment, we have two choices. We can take our thoughts in the direction of the worst case scenario or in the direction of the most compelling future in any given moment. But usually what happens, especially if we're uncomfortable or maybe you've taken on a resolution that feels very vulnerable and scary and you don't know if it's going to work out, there are no guarantees. It's so easy to just naturally go into what I call a Survival mode, focusing on the worst case scenarios, trying to protect yourself instead of looking at what is possible here, what is available to me here, and what's the most compelling, what's the most inspiring, what's the best case outcome available here. And our thoughts are what take us in either one of those directions. And it's interesting because so often, you know, our thoughts, they're not our responsibility and they're not our fault. And I think that's really important because for everyone to take a minute and just sit with, what if your thoughts aren't actually your fault or even your responsibility? What if they're just thoughts because you're human? And sometimes our thoughts are based on energy we're tapping into that isn't even ours. If you're empathic, if you're highly sensitive, your thoughts can somehow be related sometimes to what you're feeling that isn't even your truth. And sometimes they're just there and they're random and they're wild. And I am no stranger to crazy thoughts, to wild thoughts, to my thoughts trying to convince me that I'm off track, that I'm wrong, that I'm bad, that I don't know what the hell I'm doing right. And it's just a skill to actually know that you have the power to choose which thoughts you follow. And my first mentor, Carol Reynolds, taught me that I could turn the volume down when I on any thoughts that weren't surveyed. So a great life hack when it comes to thoughts is, number one, are you focusing your thoughts in the direction intentionally of the best case scenario. And that's not toxic positivity, that's your right to turn a fear based thought into a possibility based thought. How you do that is you go, okay, what's the best case scenario available here? I'm not going to focus on what could go wrong or the worst case scenario. Not because I'm trying to pretend those fears aren't there, but because it's not helpful and it's not useful. And then the second hack is you can literally turn the volume down on any thought that doesn't serve you. You can go, here's a thought, I notice it, it's not a fact and I have no use for it. So I'm going to turn down the volume and then get back to focusing on what you want. What is the best case scenario? What is the most compelling future?

That's all well and good, but at the same time, a lot of people get literally wrapped up in their own heads where they can't take that step back to see it from that point of view because they're in the middle. They're in the middle of the hurricane. Number one, how is there a way to help someone recognize when they're overthinking or when they're in that, you know, in, in that, that circle, that vicious cycle? And, and, and if so, what's a good way to help people take a step back so they can, you know, implement what we just talked about?

I love it. So, first of all, I don't think there's any escaping being in the middle of a hurricane when you're in the middle of a hurricane, especially when it's your thoughts. So let's decide that the goal isn't to not feel caught up in a storm. The goal is to remain the eye of the storm, to be so grounded in and rooted in who you are and what you want that the storm can't disrupt your momentum. Now, what I mean by that is you can take a notebook on one side of the page, write all the fears, rational, irrational, conscious, unconscious. Let's just give it a voice, and automatically you've taken your power back. What are your biggest fears while you're standing in the middle of this storm? Write them down on the other side of the page. What's the outcome you want? And here's how to approach that. Because so often we're trying to change the external. We're trying to change people, their behaviors, their choices, what's in the bank account, the number on the scale. And we're thinking until all that changes, we're not okay. So let's remember we're okay. And let's get focused on so what would take care of me in this moment? On the other side of the page, we. Where you've written your fear. Here's the fear. So, for example, I'm afraid my spouse isn't going to get a job and they've been unemployed for six months. And I feel pressure carrying the financial responsibility for the family. Okay, that's real. So we just wrote it down. That already gave you some power back because you were honest with yourself. And then what takes care of me to make sure that I have a budget, to make sure that I know the bills are going to be paid, to remember that I, I am in a position where I can pay the bills and to focus on this moment isn't forever. This is just right now. Let's not be nearsighted and think that my spouse is never going to get a job again. We have 15 years of evidence that my spouse works too, and I don't have to carry the financial burden alone. So remember who I am, take pride in I am right now able to provide and know this moment won't last forever. So that's an example.

Talk about what what is available@rebeccasilence.com that could help with this?

Sure. So no matter what you're facing, there is real fear. And fear presents very often as thoughts. So if you're having thoughts that feel bigger than you, that feel like too much to navigate, and you don't know how to move forward because these thoughts are just starting to feel like they're taking you up, go to rebeccasilence.com and take the free Trig Trigger Trauma Release Masterclass where I teach you how to diffuse the fear and connect to the power in you and just know nothing outside of you, nothing is more powerful than you are. And then you can also take the Emotional Survival Kit course. It's do it yourself. In less than three hours, I give you everything I've learned to master your emotions, to heal through your heartbreak, and to create an inspired vision for your life. And you can take that alone, or you can take it with your partner or with your children. And then you can also order Coming Back to Life Anywhere books are sold. My recently published book that is my memoir and guide and roadmap to help you heal through the heartbreak that may prevent you from feeling and experiencing life fully.

Everything that Rebecca just talked about available@rebeccasilence.com it's a mental Wellness Wednesday. Life Coach Rebecca Silence. Always a pleasure. Thank you so much. We'll talk to you next week.

Don't let your thoughts take you out. Love you guys. See you soon.