Radio/YouTube interview between host Gary and life coach Rebeccah Silence about the experience of being overwhelmed, especially during busy end-of-year seasons. Core claim: overwhelm is a learned coping mechanism passed down from caregivers and can be unlearned; the opposite of overwhelm is self-love expressed via boundary-setting and prioritizing one’s needs. Practical guidance given includes reframing tasks as empowered choices, saying no or yes-on-your-terms, expecting pushback from others, and using concrete, family-based examples to illustrate applying boundaries.
It is a Mental Wellness Wednesday mix with 2.5 Big Papa in the morning and life coach Rebecca Silence. RebeccaSilence.com Good morning. How are you this week?
Well, hi. I love you. Happy Mental Wellness Wednesday. And I'm great. I'm sending love to your voice.
I need. My voice needs all the help it can get. And that was before I lost it. So this week I want to talk about the feeling of being overwhelmed. You know, it, you know, we're in the middle of, you know, fall sports and winter sports are kicking up and there's drama and there's, you have to go to birthday parties and this, that and school and practices. And it's very easy to get overwhelmed as a parent, especially if you have multiple kids doing multiple different activities and whatnot. Can we talk about the feeling of being overwhelmed and how you can help that, whether it's with a schedule or just in life?
Absolutely. So it's also end of year and people put extra pressure on themselves. Right? Like I said in January I was going to be in the healthiest shape of my life or I said I was going to save X amount of dollars or I said I was going to finish this book or write this book or whatever it is. So there's all the parenting chaos, juggling the kids and all of the activities, but there's also the self inflicted pressure we put on ourselves this time of year. Looking back, and I don't know about any of you, I feel so old saying this, but I'm like, what happened in 2024? Where did it go? I feel like we slowed down in 2020 and 2021 and in 2022 and then in 2023 we came back, but we gave ourselves permission to like gradually ease into the water. And then 2024, we're ready to go again. But it's so easy to get caught up in the grind and not in what honors me, respects me, takes care of me. And now it's almost November and where the year go and where did I go and how do I take care of me. So just to normalize that piece too, now I'm going to throw something at you that nobody else is going to tell you about. Overwhelm.
Okay, go ahead.
When you're overwhelmed, you're being the person you learned overwhelm from. So consider you weren't born knowing how to be overwhelmed. You weren't born knowing overwhelm was the thing you trusted yourself. You knew, I'm hungry, I'm tired, I want to play with this toy. I Got this emotion. We learned overwhelm. So the first question I have for everybody is, when you are overwhelmed, who are you being? Wow. You.
Wow. You just blew people's minds.
Uh huh. When I'm overwhelmed, I'm being my mother. Love you, mom. But it was all always correct to run around with a chicken with your head cut off in my house. That's what my mother was doing. Like, it was always justified, it was always correct. And it was always rush, rush, rush, rush, rush, rush, rush. And it's too much, and it's too much, and it's too much. And guess what? She learned that too. So my work is about breaking cycles that don't serve us. So consider overwhelm as a cycle that doesn't serve you, that you inherited. And, and you could be the first in your family to break the cycle, to stop the madness, because this isn't you. It's how you learned to cope.
Wow.
Overwhelm is coping. And we learned it's correct.
And we learned it from someone and you. And if you want to know how to change how you react to overwhelm, all you have to do is go to our website, mix1025.com we're going to finish that conversation online right now. Mental Wellness Wednesday with life Coach Rebecca. Silence. RebeccaSilence.com On a mental Wellness Wednesday. All right, go ahead.
Okay, so here are the other things to know about Overwhelm. Now that I've dropped your jaw to the floor and blown your mind. So underneath the overwhelm is what you really need and what you really want. So we're overwhelmed. We learned it. We're being somebody we're not. It's how we're coping with stress, but it also keeps us from avoiding what we really need and want because so often we don't know. So overwhelm is a sign that you're doing what you think you should do and what you're supposed to do so that hopefully someday it's your turn to get your needs met is the other piece of it. But I'm just going to say someday is not coming. It's never easy, it's never convenient to prioritize. Getting your needs met when you're focused on is everybody else okay? Because everybody else is always going to need something from you, want something from you. Right? It's like whack a mole. It's like, okay, I took care of this kid, now I took care of that kid now I took care of my spouse, now I took care of my team, now I Took care of my neighbor, now I took care of my sister, now I took care of my mom. It's like whack a mole, whack a mole, whack mole. So it will never be convenient and it will never be a good time. I was just working with a client this morning who has taken her power back, taken her voice back. And her kid is like, what have you done with my mother? I don't like this. And her partner in business. I don't like all of a sudden that now you're giving me a hard time about this, that, and the next thing, and this is how we've been for years. And so just know the opposite of overwhelm is self love, meaning you prioritize getting your needs met. And everybody in your life that you've trained that you'll jump anytime they say jump is going to be pissed and is going to push back and is going to want you to show up for them, not for you. Because you're supposed to give to them, not to you, Right? Do we hear the dysfunction? Do we hear the grossness? Right. So there's a new sheriff in town. There's a new CEO of your life after you listen to this segment with Gary and I today, you say who you say when you say how much. And here's the last part that I really think will help you. Either what you're doing is something you really want to do or it isn't. It's that simple. So if the running around to please people isn't pleasing you, does it have to get done? And if so, get behind it. Make it an empowered choice, not I'm a victim that has to do this. If it isn't important and you're just trying to prevent a tantrum from one of your kids, let them have the tantrum and you can say no. And it can also be no today, Friday, I have a window. So it doesn't have to be all or nothing. But you've got to get behind this sets me up to win, or you're just going to have that overwhelm consume you and swallow you whole. You deserve to be set up to win. And either it can be a no and people can get over it, or it can be a yes in a way that's set up for you. But start with, how do I feel about this? What do I want here? What's the point of me agreeing to this carpool, this party? Our daughter, that's nine, just wanted us to throw a Halloween party for her friends and we're going to do a Christmas party for her friends. We're not going to do a Halloween party last minute as much as she would love to. Last night my husband took her to the grocery store. She came back with all this sugar cookie stuff at 8 o' clock at night and I was like house got clean today. I don't want to trash the house today. I will make cookies with you Wednesday. These are little examples but she was bummed both times but then excited because I'm not saying no. I'm saying yes but on my terms. So the cure to overwhelm is saying yes to you on your terms.
Stop the whack. A mole and that's that. You've made so much sense today. It's it's a mental wellness Wednesday Life coach Rebecca Silence. So much content is available on her website rebeccasilence.com you can also follow her on all the social platforms. Rebecca, thank you so much. We'll talk to you next week.
