Own Your Worth.

And self doubt and owning your worth. I'm Rebecca Silence, creator of Healing Is possible with your Monday Healing message to own your worth. And what does that mean, man? Can it be difficult, especially in times of challenge and upset and when it just feels like the carpet got pulled out from under you? Have you been there? I certainly have when it feels like nothing is going my way. And how can I own my worth when there's so much doubt? Have you been there? So let's first talk about rejection. Because I feel very strongly that there's a lot you can do about experiencing rejection. And that's what I want you to consider. That rejection is an experience that you're having. It's not really happening to you. Just consider that for a second, right? Even if people are insulting you or literally saying the words you know, you're fired or I don't want a relationship with you or any form of language that you are hearing as rejection, even if it's real that they're actually rejecting you, they're actually saying no to you on some level, you don't have to experience it as a personal rejection that just reinforces your low self worth issues. Now that's easier said than done. But what we do have control over is whether or not we're rejecting our own worth. And then other people are going to do what they're going to do and consider that their treatment of you, their language, their actions, this is just what they do, period. It's not just with you. Think about what I'm saying because it's really important. Other people and their rejection of you is a reflection of their self worth, themselves, they, their journey, their values and how they are in relationship. It is never just with you, but we take it so personally. And I want to tell you a story about a time where I really got bombarded with this lesson of self worth and self doubt and rejection and how to navigate it all at the same time. So I had literally taken, taken my little girl as a single mother and I had moved across the country to Las Vegas, Nevada. I was in a relationship that I really hoped was going to result in my next marriage, a life partnership and my happily ever after. And it fell apart. And a big piece of why I think it fell apart that was on me is because of my low self worth and my neediness and my insecurity and my need for this person to want me and to not reject me. I was so afraid of rejection. And that insecurity, A isn't that attractive and B, wasn't helping Relationship that already didn't have a very solid foundation. So long story short, that relationship didn't work out. And man, was I leveled and feeling rejected. I wanted it to work. I was trying to find a way to make it work and it just wasn't going to. And that experience of rejection was so deep and so painful and I had so much doubt that I would ever get that happily ever after or have anybody actually want to love me. And you know, I want you to think about a time where you have felt that way, where it just felt hopeless and like maybe that dream or what you really wanted just wasn't going to be possible for you. That is how I was feeling. And it was so easy to feed those fears and insecurities and my self worth was so low. I had moved across the country, I had this little girl I was going to be. So starting over again with very limited financial means. And I was alone and I didn't want to be and this person didn't want me. Oh my gosh, it was brutal. So how I handled it, one of the ways. I had several ways of handling this bottom in my life, One of them that weren't that healthy. But one of the things I did was I ended up wanting to casually date somebody else right away. Like, let's have this new person, this new relationship be the source of my happiness and reassure me and have me feel wanted. Right? And the opposite of self doubt is owning your worth. And so at this time, I was not doing that. I wasn't saying, okay, I need to reevaluate my state and I need to figure out how I can no longer reject myself and how I can respect myself and the life that I want to live and the family that I want to provide for myself and my daughter. I didn't do any of that. I just tried to find, you know, this next person to fill the void. So long story short, again, the Reader's digest version of this story is I try to dive into the deep end of the pool right away. I try to fill this insecurity in me with this other person. And I wanted a casual relationship and I wanted it to move fast physically. And this person took me to dinner. I'll never forget this. We were at a P. F Chang's in Las Vegas, Nevada. My whole world is over. I just got rejected by someone. Now I am with this person and I am saying, let's just be together, but let's keep it casual. And. And he looks at me and he says, I didn't earn the Cake? Why are you offering to give me the cake for free? I didn't earn it. And I remember almost falling out of my chair. I didn't know what to think. Should I be feeling grateful that this person is maybe trying to respect me? Should I feel rejected all over again? It almost was like I couldn't hear the words. I couldn't compute it. Wait, I'm just trying to offer myself up here so I don't have to feel alone and insecure. And you're saying, no, you didn't earn that yet. It ended up being a life changing moment for me and I'm so grateful because I wasn't gonna make him earn anything. I was just gonna not feel the pain. And he was supposed to help, but that wasn't actually going to heal this wound that I so very desperately needed to heal and was ready to heal whether I believed that or not. So I didn't end up dating this person and we became friends and I got a really rude awakening in self respect and in looking at how I was presenting myself in a way that just promoted all of my biggest fears. And I got a crash course on how to wake up and pay a lot more attention. And not to mention, I wasn't respecting this other person either. I was disrespecting myself, but I was also disrespecting him. And what a great lesson. So owning your worth doesn't have to be arrogant. It's not about like better than it's just about. Is the way you're living, is the way you're speaking, Are your actions honoring you and the life you're wanting to live? And if not, not the end of the world, but why not? And what if right now, this moment, you can start owning your worth and you can pay attention to the cost of rejecting yourself and you can start to basically let the world be in your experience of the world. Be an experience where you're valuing you. The world can't do it for you, but you can create an experience of the world and in your life where you're valuing you. And the more you risk putting yourself out there, the more you you are, the more criticism is going to come your way. I'm not going to be like, yeah, own your worth and you'll never be rejected again. Own your worth and you'll never doubt again. No, you put yourself out there, you're going to experience more rejection, you're going to experience more doubt, which is fine. Just don't let it win. And respect yourself. Make them earn the cake. Don't just give yourself away for free. That is your Monday healing message. So honored and excited to be here. Tuesday, April 6 Join me in the hot seat. You don't want to miss it. Heather Steele is coming in to talk about her incredible world renowned Legacy Training International Life Coach certification program that trains integrative holistic coaching. We will talk about what that means tomorrow. I am a product of that program. I've been a teacher and facilitator for that program for a decade and I give it my highest recommendation. So we'll be talking about Legacy Training International and whether you want to be a coach or not, learn about a different way to grow. 10am Tomorrow, April 6 see you in the hot seat. Bye everyone.