Picking Up The Pieces After A Storm

Live and local, it is mixed with a 2.5 big papa in the Morning and a Mental Wellness Wednesday Life coach Rebecca Silence Online rebeccasilence.com Rebecca, good morning. How are you? How is everything in your world right now?

Hi, everybody. I'm so excited to be here, and everything is really, really good. I've been healing for a couple months from a surgery that's preventative from my oncology team. I'm a cancer survivor, for those of you that don't know. So it's been an interesting summer, you know, healing and meeting myself where I am. And I'm feeling great and pretty much cleared now. So it is a win. And I think it's so important to have this show for moments when these unexpected setbacks or even expected setbacks are in the mix. It's really hard to kind of stay in the game. But I, I know how to do that. I teach my clients how to do that. And I'm thrilled to be here. Feeling really good today.

Yeah. Well, I'm glad that things are on the upside, obviously. And what's. What you talked about kind of relates to what I want to talk about this week. And obviously the tornado in Rome over the last couple weeks ago devastating so many families, so many homes. And one of the hardest parts is it's something that you cannot control. You know, a lot of times it's just whatever's going to happen is going to happen. You have no control over a natural disaster. You have no control over when the power gets turned back on. You have. It's. You're in a situation where nine times out of 10, you have control and can take care of things, but in a situation like this, you have no control, and that makes an emergency that much worse. Is that fair to say?

Oh, my God, Yes. And my heart has just been with all of you and the community. And there, there are so many of you that were directly impacted by the storm, but there's really no one in the community that wasn't impacted. And I always say I am so proud to be from central New York. I don't know, a community. And I have been, you know, someone who's lived in multiple states, in multiple cities. I don't know, a community that rallies more to be there for each other than central New York. And I get chills right now. But I just want to acknowledge that even those of you that feel like, well, I wasn't that hit, so I shouldn't feel impacted because my friend's house got demolished, I'm fine. You were impacted Too. And you care so much. And that care and that desire to be careful with each other, that is something we have control over. And then break it down for me, Gary. Where do we want to go with this? Because I have so much I could say.

Well, I. What I'd like to talk about is just how do you deal with. Let's. Let's break it. Let's make it super duper general. Okay. How do you deal with a situation where all you want is to be able to control it, but there's no way of controlling it and making the best out of the situation that you cannot control personally?

Yeah. So here is a definition of certainty so that you can have certainty in the uncertain moments that I think is about to blow your mind. Okay. Because what we want when we feel out of control and when we know there's nothing I can do to control this outcome, to control manipulating what's going on around me so that it's something I'm comfortable with, what we're really desiring in those moments is certainty. I just saw Leila Hermosi talking about on Instagram. We overthink because we're trying to find certainty. So here's how you find certainty, no matter what. And then I want to talk about. Oh, here's what you absolutely have control over.

All right, Before. Before you give us. Before you give us that. If you would like to donate to the cleanup and rebuild of Rome, Mohawk Valley. Let's see here. United Way mv.org Tornado United Way mv.org Tornado and you can hear the rest of this conversation with Rebecca Silence on a Mental Wellness Wednesday online right now@mix125.com okay.

Okay. So here's how we find certainty. You commit to. And this is simple and super duper general, but really powerful. I'm going to be my best, and I'm going to make the best of the moment in front of me. If, you know, you chose to be your best and you made the best of the situation, you just sent out a ripple of energy that is like medicine for everybody around you. But also, you can know you did that most people. Yeah, go ahead.

No, I was just. I was just about to say you're reminding me of that old SNL skit where the guy looks in the mirror and you're. You're. You're wise enough, you're strong enough, and gosh darn it, people like you. Like, it's. It's. Oh, it's. It's. You're like, what's coming out of your Mouth's kind of got that feel to it. Obviously they over dramatic, they over dramatize it for, for comedic value. It's a lot of what you're talking about, right?

Well, what I'm saying is you are so resilient, you are not giving yourself nearly enough credit for how capable and resilient and innocent you are. And we do not let our best be enough, enough of the time. So I'm just saying this changed my life personally and I know it's changed the lives of countless clients of mine. To go, wait a minute. I can be certain that I won and I showed up just by committing to. I'm going to be my best and I'm going to make the best of the moment I'm in. And this is not about being positive or about positive affirmations. It's a choice and it's a possibility to go what is my highest and best right now? Some days your highest and best is going to be eating popcorn and a bag of M and Ms. And watching a movie and crying. Some days your best is letting yourself sleep until two in the afternoon. Some days your best is donating to the United Way to support the efforts of the community reconstructing after the tornado. Some days your best is answering a phone call and being there for a friend when you don't feel like you have to time whatever it is creating something for your community, your clients, your team. But your best is enough and you can access your best and let it be enough. And then in the moment, what's possible here? Not how can I change what's happening, but what in the face of exactly what's happening is possible here? How do I make the best of it, right? I read so many books while I couldn't work out, while I couldn't, you know, spend hours out of my week and days the way I typically do, I had all this extra time. So what am I going to do? I. I let myself make the best of a very non preferential situation. And I haven't been in as much debilitating pain as I've been in for the last two months since my original cancer diagnosis while I was pregnant and the original surgeries and the original chemo and the aftermath and side effects of chemo. I was that debilitated just this last two months and it sent me reeling. Because circumstance can fool you into believing this is never going to end. This pain, this darkness, this setback. This is going to be the rest of my life. No, it isn't. You're heartbroken. Going through a divorce, this isn't going to last forever. Your kid has a diagnosis that is sending you reeling and you're terrified this isn't going to last forever. Whatever it is, this, you know, aftermath of the storm. I live in Boulder, Colorado. We had a fire four years ago. I believe it was four years ago, maybe it was three. It was within five miles in my house and over a thousand homes got devastated just like that by a wildfire. And it is just now getting rebuilt. All these million plus dollar homes wiped out. It has taken almost four years for it to be rebuilt. But the point is it's going to be rebuilt. And you making the best of the moment and choosing to be your best, you always have control over. You always have control over checking in. Am I being my best or am I letting myself spiral out because the circumstances justify it? And it is so freaking easy to let yourself spiral out, spin out, you know, it is so easy. My husband, we were at dinner recently at one of our favorite restaurants. My mom was in town with her boyfriend. We were at dinner and this older man with dementia grabbed Mark's shoulders. And Mark does martial arts and is someone who could level anybody. And he said, rebecca, it just took everything I had to not just knock this guy out. And he's like, I didn't want to, I just, my natural instinct was to take him out. And this older man's wife is horrified. And nobody saw it. No, nobody saw it. So the point is we have opportunity to spin out and spiral out. And when we access that best part of our, we're not going to let ourselves go there. So I'm taking a lot of time on this point because I think it's everything when your kid is behaving badly, when your spouse is pissing you off, when your co workers are just making you nuts and they're on your last nerve or you have a bad client, what would your highest self do and how are you going to make the best of the moment? What's possible here? And again, it's not about being positive. The second thing we always have control over. I'm going to give you two more things quickly. Is choosing how we want to feel we can control plugging into our spiritual gps. I want to feel joy, I want to feel excitement, I want to feel peace, I want to feel calm, I want to feel relaxed. If we're plugging into our spiritual GPS how we don't want to feel and trying to change the scenery around us so we can feel better, we're missing the Mark. And that is never going to go anywhere but a dead end. So how do you want to feel and that and who do you have to be to feel that way? And how are you going to be your best and make the best of the moment you're in and always finding a way to be of service when you're in your crap and it just feels so dark and like there's no point. Being of service is everything and you will never be able to measure the impact you're having. Really, I don't think there's a way to measure the impact, Gary, that you and I have had with all of our radio shows over the years. There's no way to measure it it. But we show up and we serve. And you know what? If nothing else happened in a week, I did Mental Wellness Wednesday with all of you and for all of you. But you know what? The real truth is I do it for me. I serve because I want to be a person of service. And it feels so good. And it's okay to acknowledge that you get to receive so much when you're of service. So you can always be your best. You can always make the best, you can always control how you want to feel and then you can always be of service.

Life coach Rebecca Silence Online rebeccasilence.com Go check it out. There's tons of free content to help you with. No matter what's going on in your world, it is a Mental Wellness Wednesday. Rebecca, always a pleasure. We'll talk to you next week.

Love you all. And sign up for my free masterclass@rebeccasilence.com the three must know secrets to heal and save your family. That is a great next step. If this segment today impacted you, go right to rebeccasilence.com.