Rebeccah Silence Episode S01 EPS 261

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Hello there, Brad Walsh here, your host of the Empowerography Podcast. Today my guest is Rebeccah Silence. She is an emotional healing coach. How you doing today, Rebeccah?

Hi Brad, I'm so excited to be here and on this platform with you.

Thank you so much for taking the time to be here today and share a bit about your personal story and journey. I appreciate you taking the time and I appreciate you.

Thank you, I'm excited.

Well, let's jump right in then. So Rebeccah, you're an expert in human behavior. You're an emotional healing coach, a speaker, and an international media personality. How on earth do you prioritize and find the time to wear all these hats?

I don't know. That's the honest answer, Brad. I think commitment is amazing, and I really see it as a skill. I think often we wait for lightning to strike or all of the ducks to be in a row for us to kind of pursue the idea that we can have it all. And I'm also a cancer survivor. Which, you know, and I just really think cancer gave me this experience of, as long as I'm still alive, I have enough time. And I also, I'm an emotional healing coach, but my mastery and my specialty is in facilitating emotional breakthrough. So what that means, if we're stuck, if we're in resistance at all to the possibilities that we're wanting, then there's dissonance and it makes it harder and it makes it take more time when we are in breakthrough, meaning emotionally clear. It doesn't mean that everything feels good or is going well, or that we're not struggling at all. But breakthrough just means there's nothing in the way of your commitment. So in my experience, staying in breakthrough means I can get so much done, it almost is superhuman. And I'm not trying to be arrogant or pat myself on the back. I'm just saying, you know, think about how much time do we spend in emotional drama, which keeps us from being productive. I knock things out of the park because I'm efficient, because I'm in breakthrough. So I would say that's how I get it done. And then I prioritize by basically just starting with where I have the least resistance. I don't start with what's hardest. I start with like the most achievable wins because I'm in the highest vibration about it and I'm in the most flow when I think about it. So I've always got a laundry list of projects going.

On.

And I just go, well, which one feels the best? And which one am I the most convinced I can knock out with ease and flow and have it be effortless? That's how I do it.

Excellent. Well, that's, that's quite the method. I mean, it all ties back to mindset when it's all said and done, right? There's a shift in mindset.

But I think it's deeper than that. So many coaches are teaching mindset and strategy, and I think that's great. But what I'm talking about, I can be in the mindset of be clear, be in breakthrough, and not be in breakthrough. I can want to be there, but it doesn't mean I'm there. It's an emotional clarity that you need mindset first to arrive at, right? But it really is a trust fall and a surrendering into feeling your way through the emotions that you think are going to kill you, that you think aren't worth taking the time to process and feel and move through. That's so much bigger than mindset, Brad.

True. Very true. Now, Rebeccah, you started out your career as a music therapy intern in Fort Logan Psychiatric Hospital in Denver. How did you decide to get into that world? What inspired you to do that kind of work?

Yeah. You know, I feel like I've had so many lives in one lifetime and the biggest, most pivotal moments, they didn't happen to me, but it was just so obvious. That that was the next right step, even though it didn't make any sense. I knew I wanted to do music therapy because I was a singer and I wanted to help people, and I didn't know what to say to help, but I knew music was a non-threatening medium and a space that supported people in healing and connection. And I've always somehow known connection is the cure to everything. And music therapy was just a great place to start. So I went from doing my undergrad in Upstate New New York to arriving in Denver, Colorado. And I'd never been to Colorado before. I literally arrived with my car and my bags on the psychiatric hospital grounds, and I moved into the intern house, which was a halfway house around the 300-acre facility. So it was wild, and I just felt called. And I know that's not a very good answer, but I guess that's the best answer I have.

Well, that's the truthful answer.

Yeah. And then when I was at the hospital and working with people from age 5 to literally age 100 in the geriatric unit, I was appalled to see how quickly people were diagnosed, medicated, and not really given coping skills or strategies to process their emotional pain. And so at 21, I just decided I'm gonna become an expert in human behavior, or do my best to get there in this lifetime. So that was the beginning.

Wow, that's incredible. I mean, as they say, things happen for us, not to us, right?

So, well, I think they just happen, and then what are we gonna do with it? Yeah, you know, I don't know.

We still have a choice, right?

We always have a choice. But like, cancer didn't happen to me. My childhood didn't happen to me or for me. I don't think it just happened, and then What are we gonna do with it? What are we gonna do with the calling? What are we gonna do with the emotion? What are we gonna do with our gifts?

That's an interesting way of looking at it for sure. How long did you work in that world before deciding to leave that part of it behind?

Meaning the music therapy?

Yeah.

Mm-hmm. So what it was first was a 6-month internship at the hospital, and then I was immediately hired as an activity director in a drug and alcohol adult psychiatric facility. And I did a lot of music therapy there and then helped their activity program And then I was recruited to a nursing home where I also put together a program and did music therapy. And then I became a school counselor after that. I got my master's, I had my first daughter and got my master's right after she was born. And in schools, I didn't do as much music therapy, but it's always actually stayed with me on some level. The hardest cases, I will just go back to music. And then I do retreats and music is like an event, even in my couples and family intensives where a couple or a family hires me for 2 days to just be with them, I use music to connect. So I really haven't gotten away from it at all, actually. It's just evolved.

That's amazing. How do you use music to help in couples when you're working with the couples? How does that play into it?

Well, I'll tell you a secret. So when things are getting really hard and tense and maybe seemingly impossible, I'll ask them to not talk. Look at each other in the eyes. It's called a be with exercise. And this is something I learned from my mentor, Heather Steele. And we just stopped talking. And I'll just intuitively find the right music to open up their hearts and have them get more intimate and connect without words. Or if we've done a big emotional breakthrough in a retreat or in an intensive, then, you know, I'll play a song to help integrate at the end of it while they're processing their emotions.

Interesting. Okay. Now you're the founder and CEO of Inspired Results, LLC. Can you tell us a bit about the company, when it was founded, and what Inspired Results is all about?

Yeah. So about, I guess, 7 years after that first music therapy internship at the psych hospital, I was getting a little bit suffocated to death working in schools. I loved it. I had become a school counseling coordinator and I had moved to Las Vegas and I was starting a private coaching practice I was part-time and still working in schools, but I was itchy and hungry and ready for the next level. And Inspired Results was created basically to take my skillset and my practice and my impact to the next level. And the reason I called it Inspired Results was because I see the word inspired meaning in spirit. It's being connected to that highest version of ourselves. And then the results, just like I don't think anything's happening to us. The results really, I don't think, are our business or up to us. I think the mission of my company is for me and to teach people how to stay inspired and the highest version of me regardless of results. I love it.

I love the name. Amazing. Now, you have said that your mission is to serve and help people around the world to heal. Did this mission or journey begin through your own personal struggles?

Absolutely. I grew up in a pretty dark, toxic, addictive household, and it was scary, and there was a lot of trauma. Not all the time, but enough where it rocked my world a lot. And I just had hope, even as a kid, that it could be better. And I wanted that. And I don't blame my parents. I think they did the best they could with the tools they had. And I love my family of origin so very much, but I wanted to prove that families could be healed and healthy and everyone in the family could be fully expressed and seen and heard and valued and validated and have autonomy and independence and all of that, even as a little girl, was my dream. And then, you know, my life has been a really interesting perfect storm of traumas and crises in between gorgeous moments that I feel like really equipped me to do what I do today. There's honestly, Brad, not much I'm scared of. I take pretty heavy, dark traumatic cases that the people that come to me think they've tried everything before, and I can help a couple in 2 days. The last couple's intensive, the husband left saying, I've spent $75,000 on therapy, and day 1 was more than I've ever gotten in therapy.

Wow, that's incredible. That's a huge feather in your cap and a testament to the work that you do.

Amazing. It's amazing work. And I just, I facilitate the dark. My tagline is the darkness is real, but so is the light. And until and unless we embrace both within ourselves, within those around us, within our families, we're going to suffer a lot.

Wow, that is amazing. So what is it that lights you up or excites you or inspires you the most about the work that you do?

Well, my clients tell me all the time that they feel like I help them come back to life. And there's a moment in every coaching session and in every seminar that I do, whether it's a, a retreat with dozens of women or a retreat with a couple or a family, there's always a moment where I see them begin to meet that most inspired version of themselves and where I see them meet other people as the most inspired version of themselves versus looking at other people through their own filter of pain. This, you know, last week I did two back-to-back couples intensives and it's just fresh in my mind because it's so recent. But again, both of these couples didn't think they'd make it. And I watched them meet who they married as the adult and best version of that person when they'd spent decades crucifying that person because that person represents so much pain in them that wasn't healed yet.

That's got to be an incredible feeling for you to witness that firsthand right there.

It's amazing. I almost feel guilty, like, wow, like I get to watch this. It's so profoundly vulnerable and intimate and gorgeous. But watching people meet themselves and meet each other is is just what gets me up in the morning. And there's nothing that isn't healable. I don't care what the traumas are, it, it's healable. Versus just thinking I can intellectually understand it's over and then do my best to manage my life with this in my rearview mirror, but it's never really gone. It can really get to the point where emotionally you're clear. It doesn't hurt anymore. My definition of healing and my mission is that healing is possible. It just means that it doesn't hurt anymore. And I just know that these impossible cases, there can be emotional healing. That doesn't mean that we can cure cancer or take away symptoms or circumstances or abuse, but we can get to the point where we can use it to our advantage and it doesn't hurt anymore. And that is what motivates me.

Phenomenal. So how hard or easy is it for you to put these practices into or put these methods into practice with your own relationships?

You know, that's an amazing question. It, it's an intentionality, consistent practice that I've integrated a lot. I wouldn't say it's hard or easy. I almost am unwilling not to. I've had so many mentors and teachers that I adore that taught me well that don't exactly live what they teach. And I don't think any of us can do it perfectly, myself included.

Right.

But I just, I just really want to walk the walk. So if you were following me around with a camera, I think you'd see I'm pretty much living this Healing is Possible movement and curriculum. And what it really is, I think, is the difference between living in possibility or living in fear and letting the fear take you over, like fight, flight, And, you know, it's not 100% of the time that I'm in possibility, but I catch it quick and I move through it quick. So I, I live this way and I absolutely believed it saved my life when I had stage 3 cancer and like a very small percent chance of survival after having my second baby.

And so I read that you decided to quit chemotherapy, speaking of your cancer, in 2015. What was the catalyst for that decision? I mean, you also say that you believe that decision saved your your life. Can you speak to us a little bit about that?

Yeah, this is a really delicate topic, right? Because I'm not saying that people should quit chemo, right? I have to be really clear.

Of course, of course.

Basically, the Reader's Digest version of the story is that in 2014, I was 33, just turning 34, and I got pregnant with my second baby. I wasn't expecting that pregnancy. That's the first thing I'll say. I had a booming business. My practice took off. I had gotten on the top party radio station in our community. And I was coaching the community every week on the radio, and my practice had a 6-month waitlist, and my retreats were selling out for women. And I had this amazing second marriage, and just everything I thought I had worked for and wanted had come to life and was happening. And when I got pregnant, I was like, oh my goodness, this is very exciting, but how am I gonna keep going with the business and have another baby? Like, I thought that was my biggest problem, right? And then I was coaching a plastic surgeon and his wife, and they said to me— I was 7 months pregnant— "Hey, that mole on your arm, you should come in tomorrow at 7 AM and let us take it off." And I did, and I knew something was up. And I had asked my primary care physician about this dark mole a couple years earlier on my arm, and he would not— he refused to refer me to a dermatologist. And so I guess The fact that I had already known something was screwy with this mole and I didn't fight harder or advocate harder for myself with that primary doctor a couple of years before, right, to then being blindsided with the fact that I was pregnant and it was malignant melanoma. And then it was a 95% chance after they did the first surgery where they cut from my shoulder to my elbow down to the bone, took all the skin around the top of my arm. I was still pregnant and they said, okay, you have clean margins, so it looks like, you have a 95% chance that this is stage 1 melanoma. They took the baby out at 38 weeks pregnant, C-section, so they could stage me. And 3 weeks after the baby was born, I got staged. They tested my lymph nodes and there was cancer in my lymph nodes. So holy shit, I had all of this, you know, boot camp of becoming my own advocate that I never asked for. And and it was stage 3 cancer. And they had to— basically, I had 12 surgeries in 2015, and I had one surgery after another, and I didn't have time to recover. And I was being told all the time, you know, my odds weren't good, plan your will. Only option was this chemo, and it was an immunotherapy chemo that half the country wouldn't prescribe because the side effects were so severe, right? So what ended up happening was after, you know, the first 6 months of that year of my baby being born, and I couldn't really hold her because I had so many surgeries and I was so sick, to then having made the difficult decision and tough decision to pursue the chemo. I was dying fast. My reaction to the chemo was terrifying. The right side of my body, all the nerves in my right leg were starting to die, and I got what's called drop foot. Okay. So I lost the arch in my right foot. My right toes basically were pointed like a ballerina, and it all locked. And a physical therapist told me, you're like a kid with cerebral palsy. This is never going to heal. And I just, I went, it's that calling again happened where I just knew they wanted me on this chemo for a year. And I knew if I do any more, I had done 4 and a half months. And I knew if I do this anymore, the whole rest of my body's going to die. And I also was having such severe suicidal ideation. And then I found out later that the chemo had a side effect of suicidal ideation. It was all I could do to fight every day. And I kept thinking about that movie, The NeverEnding Story. And there's a scene in The NeverEnding Story, the Swamps of Sadness, where the hero and his horse have to go through quicksand. And the only way to survive the quicksand is to not let the sadness consume you. And the horse ends up dying and the hero lives. And I just, I was not going to be that horse. And I was not going to be willing to entertain the possibility that I was going to die. And the whole time I was sick, regardless of the decision about chemo, I really had a live like you're gonna live philosophy against all odds. I wasn't gonna identify as sick and I wasn't gonna identify as dying. And I just decided that, you know, if I pursue this medication any farther, I think it's gonna kill me. And then I really did start coming back to life pretty quick. I had tons of physical pain from the side effects from the chemo, But I got clear after going through kind of like a weird withdrawal. The other thing, Brad, that I should say about this time in my life, I had an army of holistic practitioners. Every day I had a different one coming and working on me in my bed. I threw the kitchen sink at cancer. And the day after I quit chemo, my body basically went into shock because not only did I quit chemo, I quit all the other, you know, anxiety and sleeping pills, right, and medications that they had me on all at the same time.

Yeah.

So my body kind of went into shock. And I had an acupuncturist come and do a liver detox on my ears the next morning. And it was like this bizarre, oh my gosh, like back to life clarity moment, even though I still had so much physical pain and the doctors are mad at me. My friends and family were terrified. My poor husband, I can't even imagine what it was like for him, but I just knew like this is the next right step in my healthcare journey. And I think what's scary when it comes to healing and wellness is it's very statistic-based, and we're not statistics. No, you know, and so I just think we all have an internal guidance system and we should all follow it. And then I definitely had been doing my homework and research as well. I was taking all kinds of information in, but then I followed my own internal guidance system. And again, I'm not saying anyone else should quit chemo, that was just the right call for me.

Yeah, so what did the doctor say about your decision to quit chemo and, and Quit all the other shit.

That I made the wrong decision and that my drop foot would probably never heal. But the goal of the chemo was to make sure that the potential of cancer cells in my blood that we couldn't see was taken care of. So the scary thing about cancer, right, is often you don't know until it's too late.

Yeah.

And the thing about my whole experience, Brad, I didn't have any symptoms. I wasn't sick. I was the picture of freaking health. I was running a booming business, and I was healthy.

Yeah.

So where I got sick was from the chemo. I wasn't sick. I had cancer cells in my body, but I had no symptoms. And then, you know, I was so ignorant about cancer. I didn't understand, especially with skin cancer, that you can't just cut it out and it's gone. I didn't know that there were cells that permeate your body beneath the surface. So they were trying to protect me, and they were looking at statistics, but I had to have a hard conversation with the doctors, to my husband's horror, I'm sure, where I just said, either you're going to support me in this Decision, or I'm going to fire you and go to another hospital.

And so have you gone back to them and said, hey, look at me?

We worked it out. We worked out. So this was 5 years ago. We worked it out. I stayed at that hospital until I moved to Colorado a few years ago. But I just said, you guys, like, this isn't negotiable. I already did it. I'm done.

Yeah. Now, you've also said that you believe that cancer was an opportunity to meet and really get to know yourself while focusing on what you did have control over. Can you speak to that mindset and thought process a little bit and how you managed to drive at that. I mean, a lot of people would have just kind of took the chemo and said, that's it, okay, I'm going to take this and then let the situation take its course, right?

Yeah. I mean, I went through a spiritual crisis when I was sick. I questioned everything. I went from just arrogantly thinking, you know, I had healed my childhood and now I got the rewards of that and life was going to be smooth sailing from here, you know. And I, I think it's really important to say we don't cause our crises. Disease, whether it's a diagnosis or anything else. And we don't heal them either. What we do have the power to do is get to a point where we don't need the situations to be different. And it's not a punishment when something hard happens. The world goes through cancer. The world goes through different types of abuse and trauma. And look what we're going through right now with a pandemic and racial injustice and just horrifying realities, right, that the world is undergoing and facing. And, and we got to decide, you know, are we going to roll over and play dead? Are we going to lead? And yeah, so for me, I had thought I had it figured out. You know, I really did. It's so naive and ignorant. But it's, it's true. Before I was sick, I thought, I know what it takes to be happy and live and to beat the odds and to beat the past. And I didn't expect I was going to go through anything worse, because I had already gotten through so much of my childhood, domestic violence, marriage, all all kinds of just horror. And I thought I was done. We're not done when we're alive. We still have possibilities of, you know, getting blindsided and going through hard times. And I just think we can use it to our advantage. And what happened with cancer is I let myself be appalled with myself, with my ignorance, with the situation. I let myself question everything. And I'm so glad I did because I don't think I know anything at this point in my life. I don't think I have anything figured out except I have the ability to face, move through, and conquer my emotions and to be really intentional about what I'm doing with my life all the time. That's all I know I have control over. And I had done before cancer well over 100 seminars as a participant. I had facilitated dozens and dozens of seminars. I had gone through an amazing life coach. Certification and facilitation certification through an amazing school called Legacy Training International with my friend and mentor Heather Steele. And, you know, I think I was really prepared for cancer, and it was just time to put all the work I'd done into place. And I just decided that cancer was going to be the seminar where I got to meet myself, because I think it's easy to be the version of ourselves we want to be when everything's going easy and well, for sure. And I just decided, you know what, who are you going to be now, Rebeccah? Because this is your ultimate nightmare. Now is when you get to show up, use the tools, be the version of you that you want to be. And what else, what else better than cancer to meet myself and rise to the occasion of being who I say I am? And I had a best friend that said to me, her name's Holly, and she's amazing. And she had said to me, You know, babe, I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I guess the universe just thought you could handle it.

Incredible.

I was like, all right, you know, game on, let's go.

Such an incredible inspiration, Rebeccah. Wow. So in all of this, in with the cancer and your, your childhood and, and everything you've been through, how would you say that these experiences have helped shape the Rebeccah you are today, both personally and professionally?

I mean, they're everything. There's not much to be scared of today, Brad. I've survived the things, you know, knock on wood, that I didn't think I could survive. And I know if I can do that, other people can do that too. And I know whatever it is that's coming my way, there's going to be dark and there is going to be light. And I'm not at war with that. I'm willing. I'm willing for realities to be what they are and for me to rise to the occasion of leading through it. And I I really want to teach that to the world. Like, how do you take what happened, take your deepest, darkest pain, and use it to your advantage? How do you get to the point where you heal the hurt even though what happened was so awful? How do you heal what seems impossible? You commit to possibility and you commit to life. And you, you know, Pema Chödrön has an amazing quote: only when when we're willing to subject ourselves to annihilation over and over again, can that within us which is indestructible be found. That's what I do. That's what I want other people to learn how to do. I have a very much bring it on approach to my life. Bring it, because it's already there anyway. Bring it.

I love it.

And then let me see where I am, a leveled puddle on the floor, wreck, nightmare, find my weak spots, show them to me, bring it, you know, that only gives me more life. And I, I really do think we can be in breakthrough even when it doesn't feel good. And I just want to enjoy every last second, you know, and I haven't beat all this. I've got a benign brain tumor in my head. I have 3 benign tumors in my liver right now. I'm under a microscope all the time, and I'm just willing while I'm still here and healthy to keep going. I work out every day. I did a barre class this morning before I talked to you. I, you know, I just do my best to be my best. And I want to give as much as I can to people into the world. And I want to get the most out of my life.

Amazing. What resilience and what an incredible attitude, turning pain into purpose and just giving that back to help others. You are a true inspiration, Rebeccah Silence. Amazing. Amazing.

Thank you, Brad.

So out of all this, you were also inspired to create the 5-step Healing Is Possible process. Can you tell us a bit about the 5-step process?

Yeah, I think before cancer, I was a really great coach and I was using other people's work and curriculums and giving it my own spin. And then what I did to survive cancer emotionally, I realized after the fact, is a curriculum that the world And so what I did during cancer started with courage. The first step in the Healing Is Possible process is courage, and it's the courage to be your own source of encouragement.

Mm-hmm.

And it's the courage to face and move through and conquer fear. And then from there, it's about taking on wellness. And I really think wellness is a personalized practice and process. The thing about the work with me is that it's super not cookie cutter. It's really catered to the people in front of us. So I want people to learn how to create and design their wellness for them, and it starts with looking at how is your life set up to support the opposite of wellness.

Okay. You've also said that your purpose is to spare people from letting hopelessness win and teaching them to, even in the most impossible moments and circumstances, to access possibility. Why is this so personally important to you?

Well, so the third step in the five-step healing process is inspiration. It's— and it's learning how to access that most inspired, highest version of you. And then from there, it's about faith. And I'm just giving you the quick reader's digest version. I have courses, and I mean, it's so much deeper than mindset, but I'll just give you the seeds. And I think it all ties in. So the fourth step is faith, and it's about faith that life can only get better as long as you're committed to you only getting better. And then the fifth step is power. And I just think we don't know how powerful we are, and we get afraid our power. And it's possible to be powerful in the most powerless situations. So my mission is about teaching people how to have the courage to have their lives well for them and to be inspired, and to have faith and to be powerful, no matter what's going on, because I know they can. And I really look at my whole life as opportunity to give me the credibility that I needed beyond my credentials that of, you know, having the background that I have as a nationally board-certified music therapist and a master's in counseling and the coaching certifications. I've got this life experience that gives me an opportunity to basically pull whatever sword I need outta my back to help whoever's in front of me. I can say I've got clients that have had children die. It's unbelievable. Right. But I have these swords in my back that I can pull out and go, yeah, you think you can't survive this. My story isn't yours, but if I survived this, if I got up, if I literally got up when they told me I'd never walk again, and I can ride my Peloton and I can hike the mountains here in Colorado and I can move and I can do what I'm doing, you can get where you're going.

I love it. Incredible. What— again, what an incredible inspiration you are, Rebeccah. To date, what would you say is your biggest high or your greatest win?

That's a really tough question. There are so many. Really all of my clients and them living their lives and legacies the way that they always dreamed they could is tied with being the mom and having the family that I always dreamed of. I couldn't do this work for me in the beginning. You know, I was drinking too much. I was bulimic. I was just not well, even with a master's in counseling. And I had this little girl and I got out of a violent marriage and was a single mom. And I just remember looking at her one day and thinking, she was 3, I gotta do better for her. And she, my oldest, she's been my motivation from the beginning. And, and I'm so proud of this family that we have. My oldest is almost 17 and self-expressed and a rebel and a badass and amazing. And, you know, my youngest, she won't even really ever understand what we went through with me being sick, right? You know, and I think that's okay. And we, we just have this gorgeous life, my husband and my daughters and I. And even in the hardest moments, it's so beautiful. And I guess that is the ultimate win of my life. But then getting the gift and blessing of watching my clients thrive is incredible as well.

Yeah, there's no feeling like knowing that the work you're doing has an impact and helps other human beings, for sure.

I couldn't agree more.

What do you think your unique skill set or superpower is that's helped you become successful?

I don't make anyone or anything wrong. It is what it is. It's not wrong. And because I'm coming from that energy of it's not wrong with a really open heart, I can be incredibly intimate with people and kind of help melt the ice around their hearts. And people feel more alive and more intimate and more seen and heard and connected, often even in their first session with me, than they've ever felt in their lives. And then they get to go take that version of themselves that they get to be in coaching out there into the world.

Love it. Speaking of success, how do you define the word success? What does that word mean to you?

I was just asking a client this the other day because they were like, Rebeccah, I'm not successful. I'm like, well, what does it mean to be successful?

Well, now it's your turn.

I've never been asked this. So my definition of success is freedom, like being free in whatever circumstance I'm in.

Okay. What makes you feel inspired or like your best self?

Giving and receiving as much love in life as I can.

What would you say is one of the best pieces of advice you've ever received?

Well, back to my mentor Heather Steele, I'm gonna give you two.

Okay.

So after I had quit chemo and was really starting to realize I was going to live after being told so much I might not, I hit this depression and this immense devastation realizing my life was never going to go back to the way it was before cancer because there was this part of me that just wanted things to go back. I think all of us going through a global pandemic together, we can all relate in our own way to wishing things could go back at times. But my coach said to me, Rebeccah, what if it's not ever about you fitting into the life you had or the life you wish you had ever again? What if from here on out, it's about designing your life in a way that fits in with you? Hmm.

Okay.

That was amazing coaching. And I've done that ever since. And now that's what I do with my clients. The other great advice I got was from my very first mentor, Carol Reynolds. Worlds. And she just said to me very simply, you got to burn the option of failure. As long as you have the option of it might work out and it might not, you're in purgatory. And she would put her two arms out in front of her and she would drop one arm and she would say, you have to burn the option of failure. And I took that and I ran with it. And man, did it come in handy when I got sick.

No doubt. I love that. Great advice. Very, very wise women. Rebeccah Silence, what would you say is one of the most important things you've learned in your life? And what was your life like before learning it? And what was your life like after learning it?

I love this question, Brad. I think the most important thing I've learned is your best is enough and just keep going. And there's nothing to be so ashamed about or embarrassed by or convinced you can't get beyond. It's all healable and your best is enough. Just stay in the game. Call it your life.

What do you feel most grateful for in your life?

My life?

Yeah.

I don't think I healed cancer. I think I get to still be here. I think I stayed emotionally healthy and that gave me a better fighting chance. But I know people do all the right things and they still die of cancer, and I didn't, and I'm still here.

Amazing. How would you like to be remembered?

I want to be remembered for giving people hope and for giving people the tools it takes to move through the darkness into the light. And I want people to really love their lives, and I want to help as many millions of people, billions of people, as I can get there.

I love it, and I'm sure you will. Rebeccah Silence, what would you say is one of your biggest failures, or let's, let's use the word life lessons or teachable moments, and what did you learn from it?

Yeah, I mean, this is hard to pick one, but I'm gonna pick this one. I I think, you know, early on in my coaching and facilitation, I really wanted everybody to win, and I created a dependency on me, and I created a fear-based approach to winning.

Okay.

Where I put a lot of pressure on myself. So then I would do that with my clients, my support teams, you know, and I thought, if people don't get this work, and this is before I had cancer mostly, but I really thought then they might die. Because if I didn't figure out how to access the light and the dark as a I thought I would die. And then I just had this fear-based pressure cooker approach that works for a lot of people. But then, you know, it, it's not actually my vibe. So it was a mistake to be playing God a little bit and putting so much pressure on the right way that I thought people should heal and grow early in my career, because there is no right way. It is completely individual, right? And that's how I coach No, but to be honest with you, yeah, there was a fear-based arrogance, I guess, that I had in my practice early on. This just doesn't work. So I'm glad to have outgrown that today.

Was there a lightbulb moment for you where you realized that and decided, okay, now it's time to change? Like, was there one specific catalyst?

There actually was. I had an amazing team of women and I've had multiple teams of women helping me build my retreats. And the last round I had moved to Colorado, which made it harder because before we were so intimate and connected as we would put these retreats together. And I was teaching enrollment and I was teaching, you know, the importance of being your word, being impeccable with your word. So I just decided to hands off, all love, take the pressure off of trying to convince people to be their word and meet their goals. And we basically had a mutiny, you know, like, the pressure cooker approach didn't work. And then I took the pressure off and just stood by while people were going to do what they were going to do and experience the natural consequences. And it was the right thing to do, but it was hard. I mean, people are amazing, and we should always be seeing and speaking to the greatness in them, in my opinion, and holding them capable. And I, you know, I took off the training wheels, and I was like, let's see what everybody does, including me. And I wasn't perfect, but it was a pivotal moment in my career to go, listen, people are fully capable and right no matter they decide to, you know, to do. They're right for them. Their way is great. Let people just be where they're at, be who they are. And it was a relief to me almost too, because I was always trying to keep everybody enrolled in their goals and their mission and their impeccability with their word. And that's not my job. My job is just to spread the message that when you do that, life is better. And I also don't know the right way. You know, I just know a way for me that works. And so the people that want that too, great. Hey, hang out with me.

Yeah, it reminds me of the saying, whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.

Totally. And there is no right way. Yeah, everybody's way is gorgeous for them, and we're all on our own soul journey. We are.

Yeah, for sure. Rebeccah Silence, what does the word empowerment mean to you?

It means to be embodied in your own personal power, connected to that internal guidance system that will never steer you wrong.

Love that definition. Okay, we're gonna jump into a little rapid-fire section here, so the next group of questions just be one, 2-3 word answer type thing, okay?

Yeah.

How would you describe yourself in one word?

Alive.

If you're writing your autobiography, what would the title be?

Coming Back to Life.

Money or fame?

Money, because it means impact.

Early bird or night owl?

These days I'm more of an early bird, but I've been both.

If you were stranded on a desert island and could only have one item, what would it be?

A journal and them.

What's the first thing you think when I say the word future?

Possibility.

If you could teach the world one thing, what would it be?

Love.

If you had a theme song that played every time you walked into a room, what song would that be?

Oh my goodness, what would it be? There's a song, I'm Here, from The Color Purple.

Okay. What's one thing you want but cannot buy with money?

To impact the the world.

If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change?

I would change that survival mode— survival mode is the rule most people live by— to freedom mode.

Okay. The last book or podcast I listened to or read was—

there's a podcast called The Infinite Game, and these guys are talking about Simon Sinek's work, and it's incredible.

Entrepreneur life is amazing. And that concludes our rapid-fire section. Now back to our regularly scheduled program. Rebeccah Silence, who in your life has had the biggest impact on you and why?

I mean, that's really hard. There's so many, but I think my family of origin, my parents and my sister, because I learned love and heartbreak and healing and connection and how to survive in that childhood with them.

Okay, what would you say is one of your favorite quotes?

Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better. It's Jim Rohn.

I love that. Can you tell me about a moment when a person's kindness made a difference in your life?

Yes, the first thing that comes to mind. So when I was really sick, a lot of people were basically trying to support me, I think, the way they would want to have been supported. And it was really surprising. People that really didn't show up that I expected to, people that did that maybe I didn't expect to. But I did— I've been on the radio with— his name is Big Papa Gary Spears. He's also been a huge influence in my life, but we've been on the radio together for a decade. And this one day I was so sick, I was about to go to another chemo infusion appointment, and he just asked me, what can I do? What do you need? And I said, I want a playlist because I just— I'm in bed and I can't move.

Yeah.

And I went to chemo that day and I came home and I had flowers, and he had a little sign that said, smell me, and he had a brand new iPod iPad fully loaded for me, and it said play me, and Fight Song was the first song, Rachel Platten. And I hadn't heard Fight Song yet, it just came out. And I will never forget that moment. That's maybe the nicest thing anybody ever did for me, that iPad and that fight song, those flowers. Oh my God, Brad, I could cry just thinking about it.

That's amazing. Well, you know, they say that we learn and we find out who our true friends and family are when we are at our lowest moments, right? Because then you see who shows up. Yeah, you learn a lot, that's for sure.

Well, you do. And then getting out of attachment, like, that's a whole seminar in and of itself, getting out of attachment to the way you think things should be or people should be.

Yeah.

And it's not personal. Everybody's on their perfect journey. And really, I believe that. And sometimes that means that vibrationally, you know, you're not going to be aligned with people that you're hanging on to. I play a game with myself, Brad, where I really, I don't drop people. I don't care who it is. I've got an open heart and I'm willing to reinvent and renegotiate as long as it's healthy with anybody. And then I've had a lot of people go away and then a lot of times they come back later, but you know, it is what it is. And then who are you gonna be?

Yeah, exactly. What would you say are the top 3 skills needed to be a successful entrepreneur?

Or, well, the first thing is commitment. Like, you've got to have that. There is no option of failure. Energy, I think, because there's a million opportunities every single week to want to throw in the towel, at least in my experience. It goes from like, holy shit, I can't believe how well this is going, to oh my God, it's all falling apart, like so fast.

Yeah.

You know, and I've been doing this now for about 15 years, full-time for about 13 years. And it's a dance. So I think you gotta know how to stay committed and then you really gotta be about service, like not about you, like the money part. That was a hard question, money or fame, because I honestly don't really care about money. I care about the impact.

Yes.

And then I look at the money and the revenue as a measurement of impact. Right.

Mm-hmm.

And, and if you're about you and you getting paid and you getting validated and you getting all of the kudos that you're needing to feel good about yourself, and I've been there, you know, especially in the early years, more about me than about the service, it just isn't gonna work. So you've gotta be about service. So you gotta be in it no matter what. And then you've gotta be about serving the people. Yeah. And everybody's worth it. Not picking and choosing who you're gonna give your best to, but giving your best all the time. I have free to premium services. I give as much of me no matter what. And then I think Honestly, you've got to be willing to take the hard feedback, to look at where you're not landing it, to look at where you're out of alignment with the mission and do the inner work to face the music and just get better and better and better. And I think part of taking that feedback too is really making sure you have your own unique niche, your own spin on whatever you're doing. Be a sheep following someone else's model as an entrepreneur. Create your own.

That's it right there. Carve out your own little niche. Be authentically you. No one else is you in this world, so why not give you— yes, why not give you to the people?

Yes, and have fun. That's right, should be fun.

Life is short. We don't know how long we have, so have as much fun as you possibly can, but have an impact. Do good in the world.

Yeah.

Rebeccah, if you could sit down and have a 1-hour conversation with anyone in the world, alive or dead, who would it be and why?

At this point, I think I want to sit down with Brendon Burchard. He's one of my teachers. I got to do a High Performance Mastermind with him in 2019, and I would just love to have a lunch with him and just talk about scaling.

What is the most recent investment you've made in yourself?

Well, I hired a whole team in 2021. I've been a one-woman show for a long time, but I have a virtual assistant. I have an amazing business manager that's been around for a while, but then I added a branding service and company to the mix and a business coach. And Inspired Results and Healing Is Possible has its own army of support.

Amazing.

It's a scary investment, but it's exciting.

I'm sure it is. Rebeccah Silence, what is your personal motto?

Live like you're gonna live.

If you could go back and give your younger self one piece of advice, advice, what would that piece of advice be?

You are not crazy. You see what everybody else can't see. It's okay. Hang in there. Keep going. Go spread your mission like wildfire.

Love it. Lastly, Rebeccah Silence, if you were to deliver your last 30-second speech to the world, what would that last 30 seconds sound like?

You have everything you need to feel how you want to feel and to live how you want to live, and nothing's wrong with you. And nothing's been wrong with your life. And all of the pain, all of the darkness, it's real. But so is the light. And don't be afraid of the light. We're so used to suffering. And we're so used to survival mode. But it suffocates us to death. You can live beyond all of what you think will kill you if you take it on, if you'll just take it on.

Beautifully said. Rebeccah Silence, thank you so much for taking the time to be here today and share your personal story and journey. I have thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. You are such an incredibly beautiful human being and such an inspiration. I appreciate you, Brad.

I'm so honored to know you, and this has been a blast. Thank you for having me, and thank you for what you do for women and for using your power and your platform to serve.

This is my pleasure and my honor. So thank you and welcome to the Empowerography community. I'm so honored to have you here as a member.

Me too. Hi everyone.

Once again, my name is Brad Walsh, host of your Empowerography podcast. Today My guest has been Rebeccah Silence. She is an emotional healing coach. Thank you so much, Rebeccah. I hope you have an amazing rest of the day.

Bye everyone.

Thank you very much for listening to this podcast. If you haven't yet, please be sure to subscribe, rate, review, and share with all your friends. You can find me at visiophoria.ca and follow me on Instagram @empowerography_podcast and on Facebook at Empowerography. Please join me next time for another inspirational story from yet another amazing woman.