Reclaiming Your Worth: Ending Toxic Cycles in Relationships

Have you ever found yourself caught up in trying to prove yourself and your worth in your relationships? Have you felt emotional distress because of toxic dynamics in relationships that lead to punishment and reward cycles and that dance of punishment and reward and you feel punished, you feel rewarded, you punish, you reward. If these toxic dynamics are no longer of interest, if you're ready to break through and move beyond proving yourself, punishment and reward in relationships. Oh my goodness. Do we have a chalk full jam packed episode of the Healing is Possible experience ready to go for you today? Okay, we're going. Okay, three, two, one. We're going. Grab a pen and some paper. You're absolutely going to want to take notes today. I am Rebecca Silence, media personality, author and emotional healing and relationship Coach with over 15 years coaching couples and families and man, do I see it on repeat over and over again. The cost to our self worth, to our self esteem, to our vibration when we're engaging in punishment, reward proving in our relationships. It just doesn't have to be this way. Welcome to the Healing as Possible experience. This is a show where we take you on a journey of, of healing through anything in the way of full self expression, fulfillment on a soul level. And you absolutely living and loving and leading your way. I say it all the time, there's not a right or a wrong way to live, lead, heal, be in relationship, but there is what's right for you. And man, just trying to prove yourself get in the way of being able to access what's right for you, man? Does believing in punishment and reward as a way to measure how valued and how loved you are get in the way of you just getting to be you and you being able to access your truth and live it out Even if, and it will be the case that not everyone will understand or agree or approve or reward your, your courage and your strength because you're deciding you're unwilling to not have your life be yours, they're not going to get it. Life's not always going to feel like it's understanding and validating and approving of your aligned authentic pursuit of life, but it's worth it anyway. And man, on a personal level, countless clients over the years have I worked with on this very topic. And it's, it's a cycle of and we're going to break it down and we're going to break you through and we're going to give you some other options. But it starts with the proving ourselves in an effort to believe we're worth getting our needs met. And from there it turns into Punishment when we don't think we've proved ourselves enough. And once we think we've proved ourselves enough and we no longer need to be punished, now we get rewarded. It's so limiting, it is so toxic and it is so dehumanizing. And we do it to ourselves. We really do. When we're no longer willing to put ourselves through this just roller coaster ride from hell. Relationships get better. We feel better, we know ourselves better and we trust ourselves better and life more. Okay, so we all do it in different ways. And when I tell you I am not a relationship expert because all of my relationships have gone perfectly or I know how to do relationship perfectly, I am a relationship expert after so much certification and training and undergraduate and graduate work. But more than that, I've had to trial and error my way through being fully me and letting the trips fall. Not everybody agrees with me, not everybody respects me, not everybody believes in what I believe in or even believes in me the way I wish they would. I've had to navigate so much being misunderstood, being abused, being neglected, being codependent, af giving myself away, selling my soul in the name of love, betraying myself in the name of love, refuse thing to do those things after training people, in some cases for multiple decades that I would, right, I wasn't going anywhere. I would be who you needed me to be in the name of love. I would betray myself so that I wasn't abandoned or rejected again. And people, I don't think it's always conscious, but we train people to expect that we will fall into patterns and do relationship dance with them the way we always have. And then one day we wake up and say no more. I have no use for this. This isn't good enough for me. It's costing me my health, it's costing me my energy. It's costing me my experience of life and my quality of life that I want to have. And then they don't know what to do because we've trained them for so long what to expect from us. I've been through it all and it hasn't always been pretty and it has been messy. And I am here to to say to you today, let's be brave enough to no longer be willing to prove ourselves in the name of love, which is such disrespect that we're doing me with me, you with you. That's unnecessary. Punishing ourselves, begging for reward, punishing others, rewarding others, wanting them to prove themselves to us. It doesn't actually feel good and it doesn't actually result in fulfillment in our relationships when we play all this out. And of course, it goes back to what society has taught us, what was modeled growing up in our households, we believed that if we proved ourselves enough, if we could take enough punishment, then there would be a reward. It's messy, it's gross, it's unfulfilling, and it has us disconnected from ourselves. And we think because this is how love was given and these were the conditions for love, that that's just what it is. That is our fate when it comes to love and relationships. And no, no, no, no, no. It can get so much better than this. So here are some secrets that I've learned throughout my own personal journey and the lessons and tried and true, proven pieces of clarity that my clients over the years have taken and run with so that they can have the relationship of their dreams, their way with no proving punishment or reward acceptable in the mix and ever again. So let's get to it. This is, by the way, if you're new to me, if you're new to our YouTube channel, the third in a series of of four videos on getting your needs met in relationships. Getting your needs met is so important. We've put a whole series together. You don't need to have watched the first episode, understanding how to effectively get your needs met, or the second episode, understanding how to stop neglecting yourself in relationships to enjoy today's but do know we have a whole series. You can go to the Rebecca Silence YouTube channel. Please hit subscribe. Please click that bell so that you can get our latest and greatest freshest content delivered to you right away. Like the video. Please comment on what what your biggest takeaways are and be sure to share with a friend that you know could benefit from this series and even just today's episode. It's so important. We can't avoid relationship. If Pandemic taught us nothing, it's that we are hardwired for connection. We are needy of relationship and connection and being seen and heard and valued in relationship. And that's okay. And it doesn't have to come with such high stakes or at a cost. It can be aligned and we can be authentic and we can attract the vibrational match relationship standards and energy that we want and that we crave and that we deserve now. Not just accepting crumbs or what we've always known or the pain that has come with relationship. We don't have to take on relationship, accepting the good, good with the bad. No, it gets to just be authentic and aligned. Authentic and aligned. And if it isn't, it can be. Thank you Next. That is okay. That is healthy. Every relationship you've ever had doesn't need to last the rest of your life. What we don't want is to take these toxic patterns with us. What we don't want is to say thank you next. But I haven't done my inner work to heal my patterns. Patterns of proving punishment, reward, being part of what goes along with relationships. So now I take all that with me, play it out again. Fighting with ghosts again. Different person, same pain patterns, different person, same toxic dynamics. So here we go. We're going to take on proving punishment, reward and what we can do instead. So proving ourselves, where does that come from? How do we even know we're doing it? How do we know? Especially if we are a high performing leader and people in our teams, in our client community. So there's two sides to all of this, right? There's my experience of feeling the need to prove, feeling punished, craving and needing and experiencing reward. But there's also other people doing that with me. If I'm available for these toxic relationship patterns and dynamics, that means other people do it with me and I do it with them. It's not one or the other. So this training today, which is another reason why I'm suggesting you might want to take notes, have that paper and pen ready, is because I want to give you a masterclass on human behavior so that you'll see it in other people with you and you'll see it in you with other people. Right? I always say the darkness is real, so is the light. There are both sides of these coins that we're going to unpack today. So with proving why do we do it? How do we know we're trying to prove ourselves and how do we know when people are trying to prove themselves to us? And what do we do about it? Okay, so the proving game. We on some level, even though we're born knowing how to trust ourselves and we do, even though we're born knowing how to trust our feelings and our emotions and we do, at some point we learn, wait a minute. There's only so much of us being fully who we are, trusting ourselves, that's accepted in our family system. And I've never met anyone. This isn't true. For maybe your emotion of grief was valued and validated and comfortable for your parents, but your healthy naturally occurring emotion of anger wasn't. Maybe you were one to fall into freeze when you felt like your family couldn't handle your, your Truth. Maybe you fell into fight, maybe you fell into flight, right? And we prove ourselves as a way to cope. The good news about this is it's a symptom, it's not the problem. And it's so normal that we just prove ourselves, prove ourselves, prove ourselves and think it's love. But we're wondering why it feels so empty. We're wondering why we feel so zapped energetically. We're wondering why even though I'm with a person, I still feel so lonely. Right? It's because I learned somewhere along the line I've got to prove myself so that I don't have to feel these emotions and my truth that I don't think the people that love me can handle. Proving is a coping mechanism. Proving is a self symptom. Proving is a security blanket because what's underneath that is my truth, your truth, and a fear that we won't be loved or accepted or rewarded, right? For being fully authentic and aligned. And so every one of us in some way, shape or form has attempted to prove ourselves in our relationships. And every one of us has the ability to break through. Now, what is it for you? Write this down. What's the number one thing that takes your brain into I'm not safe, I need to prove myself. That is how I'm going to protect and nourish and nurture me in this relationship. Now, what is it for you? Are you trying to prove yourself with money sexually, at work in the name of trying to get a promotion with your clients, with your team, with your kids, with, you know, a parent or a sibling or a long term, very close friend in your inner circle? Who is it with and what is it that you're trying to prove? We're not knowing we're worthy of our truth when we're trying to prove and we're trying to justify and make up for and, you know, hedge our bets so that we have more of a likely, you know, ending up rewarded, loved, connected, not losing any one experience. So let's make this even simpler. I had a client who was so rejected by her daughter that she would try to prove that her daughter should pay attention, should care about nurturing this relationship. But in her efforts to give more while she was being treated badly, she just lost herself more and more and more and more and more and undermined herself and disrespected herself in such a way with her daughter that her daughter just did more and more and more of this. And the cycle continued. I had another client who, with her spouse, she would Very similarly, try to do more for her spouse, give more to her spouse. Every time she felt neglected, every time she felt like her needs weren't important to her partner, she'd give more. But it was this weird proving energy it wasn't giving because this is who I am and this is what I do. And I need to be able to sleep at night knowing I showed up as my best and at my best. Do you hear the difference in the energy? The proving is so low. Vibration. The proving keeps us in such limited possibility. We want transformation and expansion. Expansion and the highest vibration. Especially when it comes to getting our needs met in our relationships. Because we deserve it and not because we've done enough or proved enough. Because it's our birthright to be seen, heard, valued, loved, understood, appreciated, respected. It's our birthright. But because all of that wasn't happening growing up in the way we would have wanted, we keep experiencing our relationships as adults as falling short, just like we felt like our ability to get our needs met in our childhood fell short. And the thing about it is, you can try to analyze all day long the why, but I'm going to suggest that's not worth our time right now. What's worth our time is just understanding. Proving yourself always results in less. Not more. Less love, less connection, less of a vibration, less energy. It costs way too much for us to keep this up. So with that being said, when you want to prove yourself, know that you have just fallen into the trap of trying to overcome the part of you that is just expecting. Me being all of me, me being real about what I want, what I need and how I feel. I've got to make it worth it for someone to care. I've got to prove myself. No longer has to be the story, the narrative, what you're telling yourself in a moment of feeling confronted and feeling like your needs are not important in relationship. Instead, we got to be the one to give ourselves that validation, that approval, that sense of certainty that says, wait a minute, I know who I am, I know what I want, I know how I feel, I know what I need, and I'm not sorry about it. It's not unreasonable. And ask yourself, wait a minute, I notice I want to prove myself right now. What am I? Wanting, feeling, needing. And is it unreasonable? In almost every case that I have had with clients over the years, what they want, what they need and how they feel, it's reasonable. They don't just want something unreasonable because they're trying to get someone to jump through hoops and prove that, you know, they love them enough. No, it's. I don't expect me actually being authentic is going to work out well. So I try to prove myself. I try to earn the reward of love. But the proving energy, it's so mean. It's mean to me and it's mean to the people I'm in relationship with because it's not honest, it's manipulative, it builds a wall. It's me withholding me from me. Me withholding me from you. And that really makes relating very difficult. Communing my soul with your soul is essentially out of the question when you're in this proving energy. Now, the second part of this is it was modeled to you. This is a way of coping and comforting and managing the fear that you won't be loved and accepted as who you are, all of you. But you also learned it not because of how you survived your childhood and adapted to your childhood, but because you had a primary caregiver that was trying to prove themselves to. It was normalized in your childhood. This prove yourself in the name of love. This is conditional love cycle breaking that we're taking on today. Now you'll be able to pay better attention to the people around you trying to make sure you're okay with them and them trying to prove themselves to you more than ever before after this training. And if you notice that it's not your job, it's not your business to get them to not prove themselves, but you can just understand it and go, hey, whatever it is, we can handle it together. You don't need to rescue the people that you care about, but you can be the support that says, hey, with me, let's just have the cards on the table face up. You don't need to set me up. You don't need to be in any type of hesitation or fear about telling me the truth about where you're at and what you need and want and how you're feeling. I'm here for it. So you're not saying you don't have to prove yourself to me, but you are saying, I'm someone who wants the cards on the table, face up. I'm someone who wants to understand you better. And even if it feels difficult, I want to listen to understand and to connect. And there's nothing you could say or do that's off the table here. Because I want to know the truth. That's the only way we're going to be able to get through this. We're going to be able to connect and you start by doing this with you. And from there you're able to lead in your relationships differently in a healthier way where you're not trying to make it better for them, you're not trying to rescue them, you're modeling honesty, authenticity, full self expression, and you're inviting other people to do the same when it comes to relationship with you. Now is this simple? No. Is there a lot here? Absolutely. But my goal is for you to see how gross proving yourself is. And when you're proving yourself, you attract other people trying to prove themselves. And then there's two people in the relationship that are both in the inauthentic, that are both afraid of being rejected, neglected, abandoned, and there's no relating is two healed adults when all that fear is in the mix and when the proving energy is in the mix. So whatever it is that you're needing, that you're wanting, that you're feeling your relationships, the only shot they have at healing and growing and expanding and transforming is you being brave enough to no longer prove that you are worth being heard, no longer being willing to prove that you're worth being seen, related to, respected, understood. You've got to give that to yourself. And then other people, they're human, they're going to have their reaction. I'm not suggesting it's always going to go well or be smooth sailing, but there will be people that it goes well with. Pay attention to who those people are. And then from there there will be people, and then it might be a little turbulent or a lot turbulent. It might be people that are human and have a human reaction because they're used to you a certain way and now you're changing the game. But they're willing, they're not going anywhere. They're human, having a moment, working through their own experience. We might need to take breaks. Here's a great, great one liner for if you're bravely, all of a sudden no longer willing to prove yourself, and so you're just honest and real and authentic and aligned and they have their reaction and it's not the one you wanted, you can say, I'm willing to press pause on this. I'm willing to take as many breaks as we need to. I understand this isn't easy, I understand this is delicate. I understand I'm asking for a next level. I'm behaving differently than you're used to. And I get that's not easy or comfortable right now. So we can take as many breaks as we need to and revisit this conversation as many times as we need to. But thank you, thank you, thank you for hearing me. Thank you, thank you, thank you for loving me. Thank you, thank you, thank you for wanting to get through this together and we can take our time. Hear the power in you being so certain about who you are and your worth and your truth that you're unwilling to prove yourself. Do you hear the power in this? The right relationships will evolve and transform with you. The ones that you've outgrown. You can at the very least give them a chance to grow with you. And if they choose out, it has nothing to do with your worth, it has nothing to do with your value. It has nothing to do with any fear that you authentic means other people can't handle your truth. None of it's true. We want to raise the vibration and expand the possibility of deeper, more emotionally intimate and connected relationships for you. If you're in my audience, you want that. You want to be as healed as possible so you can be as healthy as possible, so you can make the biggest difference difference possible in your lifetime. And how do we do any of that when we're dumbing it down, dimming our light because we're afraid other people won't be able to handle it? We can't serve at the highest levels, live at the highest levels, experience all the best that life has to offer when we're proving. So hopefully at this point in today's show you're starting to see proving yourself. It doesn't do anything good for any relationship you've ever had, especially the one with yourself, with God, the universe, whatever your beliefs about a higher power are, doesn't help you there either. Okay, so proving. Thank you. Next punishment. We parent ourselves the way we were parented. If we're punishing ourselves, self deprecating, beating ourselves up, using our own truth and our own desires as ammunition against ourselves. If we're doing that, here's very, very likely what's going on. Without meaning to, we're parenting ourselves the way we were parented. Which parent was the harsher parent? Which parent are you being when you're punishing yourself and when you're experiencing life and love and other people in your relationships punishing you? Who are you being? Because I guarantee you, you're experiencing these people as a ghost from your past and you're just not realizing that you've been fighting with ghosts. Here's what I mean. People are innocent. People are doing their best based on their level of awareness. Most of us have heard that before in Some way, shape or form. But what's going on in relationship is the closer we get, the closer our unhealed inner children are. So now I project onto you people and dynamics and energies that hurt me that I still haven't healed through. So if I just go, thank you, next, move, bitch, get out the way, I'm going to go on to another relationship. And I didn't heal all that. Now it just feels like Groundhog Day again, right? So my inner child meets your inner child. You help me see where I have more healing to do. But instead of me taking it on, I have more healing to do. Here I'm triggered. I have more healing to do. I go, you're the problem. I'm being punished again. I punish myself more for not being worthy, for not being more lovable, more who I would need to be for you to love me. I just want you to see all the different layers that this can take. So when it comes to you feeling punished in relationships, when it comes to you punishing you for having needs, for having desires, for having wants, for being human, for having feelings and emotions, I could go on and on and on, write it down. Who are you being? Who are you parenting yourself in the way that you were parented? Who are you following? When you're available for punishment, when you're experiencing punishment, and when you're self punishing, who are you being? Okay, next. There are three different layers, okay? To how we can be and who we can be in relationships. All right, psychology 101. We're either in a child dynamic with another child, in a parent dynamic, parenting the other person like they're a child, or we're the child and the other person is parenting energy towards us like we're a child or it's an adult, adult relationship. So we have child, parent, adult options. And when we are feeling like we need to prove ourselves or being punished or even in the reward game that we're going to get to here in a moment, it's either child child, like sibling rivalry or parent child, where we're the parent actually degrading the other person, shaming, in some cases the other person without meaning to. That's what we're experiencing them doing to us. So nothing is happening to you. You have an opportunity to embrace the energies, the patterns, the dynamics that don't work, that don't feel good, that aren't what you want and elevate. Okay? Okay. So life doesn't need to be better or different for you to be okay. You just can hit the unsubscribe button anytime you want, when you notice proving energy is coming at you or when you're trying to prove yourself to another person. And the other reason, back to proving just for a moment, that it's so important to be able to see when proving energy is coming at you is because when people are trying to prove themselves to you, they're putting you on a pedestal. Guess what will happen? You're gonna fall, right? It's not actually. I found someone that loves me so well, that gets me, that finally respects me. When they've got you up on this pedestal and they're trying to prove yourself, themselves to you, okay, you're going to fall. So don't put other people on a pedestal. Don't give them the power to make or break you in terms of getting your needs met. And don't let yourself not see it when someone's doing that with you because again, it's all going to crash and burn. It just is. The proving punishment reward dance always leads to some sort of crash and burn and more heartbreak and more you being re traumatized and just gathering more evidence that, see, this is what happens to me in relationship. I'll take the bad with the good because I love love. I want relationship. But here we go again. We don't want that for you anymore. Okay, so where do you and how do you punish yourself when you have a need, a want, a desire. And what would life be like if you just accepted and embraced and stood behind? I have every right to my needs, to my wants, to my desires, to my feelings, to my emotions, to my humanity in every relationship I I choose to participate in. So it is going to be you becoming unwilling to punish yourself for any reason that is key. That is first from there, when you are no longer willing you with you to punish yourself for any reason, to beat yourself up for any reason, you can start practicing with other people, just standing in and standing behind yourself and your truth, giving them the opportunity to grow with you, to work with you from a place of love and neutrality. We're not going to punish them for not being who we need them to be. We're not going to punish ourselves for not being who we thought we needed to be to earn their love. Punishment no longer has to be an ingredient in your relationship recipes. It can be gone. Same with proving now. Reward. We don't get reward without punishment. It's a punishment reward dance. And so many marriages are built on punishment reward. So many relationships, parents and their children are built on punishment reward. So many families have punishment and reward built in as a foundational component. And it's just so normal in our society across the globe. Punishment and reward go together like peanut butter and jelly when it comes to love, family, relationships. So the reward dances. If you're behaving well, if you're enough, if you're giving me what I need and want from you, I'll give you what you want. If you've sold out enough so that I'm pleased, here's your reward. Do we see how dysfunctional and dark and terrible this is? We train people. When you do what I want, when you're who I want, I'll reward you. And we train ourselves. When I've done enough, when I've been enough, when I've achieved enough, when I've showed up correctly in your eyes, you're going to reward me. So it stops being about me, following my own aligned authentic truth and more about who do I need to be for you and who do you need to be for me? And we wonder why most relationships end. It isn't just that most marriages end in divorce, most relationships end and I run for the freaking hills when I see at this point in my life somebody would need me to be who they need me to be for them to give me the best of themselves. And I absolutely am unwilling to sell my soul to betray myself in the name of love ever again so that relationships won't end. And I give people that opportunity to grow with me all the time. I won't take abuse, but I will be willing to reinvent if people are willing to reinvent and grow with me. And the closest people to me, I have a best friend of about two decades. I've had the most incredible second marriage. First one, oh my God, did that one go down in a blaze of bullshit. But the second marriage I am so proud of. I am so, so, so proud. I have so many long term relationships, even with clients that have been working with me for over a decade at this point. And there are plenty of people that are no longer in my life and not because they're bad people and not because I put up a wall or push them away. Because we got to the place where the paths that we were on were now misaligned. At one point there was alignment there, then it got misaligned. But what I'm not willing to do is resist when it's obvious that there's misalignment. I lean in, I dive in head first. Open heart, open heart, open heart, open heart, open heart. The practice of emotional Healing the methodology that I've developed, that I teach that transforms people's success in every area of their life. It's about keeping your heart open so you can connect to your truth. Punishment and reward disconnects you from your truth because you're more in avoidance and seeking external love, approval, validation than you are caring about and connecting to your own truth. Same with proving. So run for the hills. When you see people rewarding you and trying to get you to be who they need you to be for them to give you the best of them, run for the hills. And just don't, don't buy what they're selling. Don't feed that wolf. You know, of the two wolves, there's the one that is fed by your fear and low self worth and your past and your pain and then there's the wolf. That's just the truth of who you are, that the more you're staying aligned, authentic, paying attention to and connecting to your truth, the more it thrives. That's where we want your relationships, right? Thriving because you're fully authentic and fully aligned and fully. You people know who you are, they know what they're dealing with. You are not rejecting the truth of who you are. You're standing more in the truth of who you are and giving yourself more self love, more respect, more compassion, not less. In moments when it feels like other people are neglecting or not understanding or not honoring or not giving you what you need, that's when we pour more self love on. That's when we reparent ourselves as that adult, not the parents we have. And this isn't let's knock and blame the parents we had. That's not what this is about. This discussion is about transcending the proving punishment reward cycle. And I am just telling you I could not wait to do this episode today because the punishment proving reward cycle, we've all been through it, we've all on some level accepted it personally, professionally. It doesn't have to be that way. So now what's on the other side? Okay. On the other side of the punishment proving reward dance is very simply you in relationship able to experience independence and authenticity and the relationship. This is what we're going to get into in our final episode in this series around getting your needs met. How do you have independence and the relationship? So many people think it's one or the other. I can either be independent and a free bird or I can have relationship. And I am telling you, the happiest relationships I've ever seen. The happiest humans and people I've ever had the honor and privilege to work with. They have both. Okay, so when you're no longer proving punishing, rewarding, you get independence and healthy relationship. Not independence or more of the types of relationship experiences you've always known and you've always had. If there is one takeaway that you bring with you into your day and into this week and comment, message me, let me know. Write it down. What is it? What's your biggest takeaway? And this is an episode you might want to watch more than once. This is an episode again, to share with any friend, anyone you care about that you know would benefit. This is a great episode to rewatch with a partner, with a spouse, with your child. No more proving punishment and reward, independence and relationship. It's waiting for you. And you are so worthy. And the world, I promise, can handle your truth as long as you can. It's when you can't handle your truth that you attract more and more evidence that your truth is too much or not enough or wrong or bad or something to be ashamed of. No, you can handle your truth and so can the world. And the more you stand in it, the more you attract evidence that life and the world and other people can handle your truth. And for anyone that can't, blow them and kiss, thank you. Next. Thanks, but no thanks. Give them the opportunity to grow with you. But if they're just insisting you need to be who you need to be in their eyes, thank you. I don't do that type of very low vibration codependent dance with anyone anymore. I've come too far. I've grown too much. My life is too precious and sacred. I am too precious and sacred. Write it down. Say it out loud. I am too sacred to put myself through the proving punishment, reward dance. I am so sacred that I will give myself independence and relationship and permission to be fully aligned and fully authentic. Because only from that place do my relationships have a shot at thriving, have a shot at being healthy and functional and sustainable. I'm so proud of you. I am so grateful that you hung with me this long today. This series means everything to me. You having healthy, thriving relationships, it means everything to me. You getting beyond survival and living your life your way, it means everything to me. The darkness is real and so is the light. You couldn't be more worthy. You couldn't be more loved. You couldn't be more divinely deserving and unshakably whole. And it's just about getting back to that place of remembering that of owning that of standing in that. Go to rebeccasilence.com take the free trigger trauma release method. Simmer with all of the goodness that you've received today and we will see you soon. I love you so much. My heart is wide open. I hope yours is too and I will see you soon.