Releasing Emotional Baggage: How to Practice Emotional Healing and Move Forward

We all carry emotional wounds, whether we want to admit that or not. And those emotional wounds, they're not actually because of our emotions. Okay, we're going. Okay. Three, two, one, go foreign. Welcome to the healing is possible experience. I am your host, Rebecca Silence, author, media personality and emotional healing and relationship coach. Here to take you on a journey of spiritual wellness. Here to take you back to a place where you belong to yourself again, where you love and trust yourself again. And on this episode, we are talking emotional baggage. What is it? What do we do about it? And what's life like on the other side of carrying emotional baggage? Stick around until the end where I will share a process with you that has changed thousands of my clients lives and more lives than I will probably ever even know. This is a big topic. No one is is immune to the weight of emotional baggage. And we all have what it takes to release and to get free. And I'm going to show you how today. If you are loving this show and the message that I share that healing is possible regardless of circumstances, please be sure to subscribe to the YouTube channel and share this episode with anyone you believe would benefit from the content. So without further ado, let's dive into what is emotional baggage. So I think there's a misconception that emotional baggage is because of our emotions. And the truth of the matter is emotional baggage is any place where our emotions got stuck and where we had resistance to feeling through our very human, real and genuine emotions. The baggage is the result of stuck emotions. It's not the result of our emotions. And this is so important because so often we think that dealing with our emotions, it's going to make things worse. I think the two biggest objections that I hear when it comes to my work, the practice of emotional healing and my brand are number one, it's too good to be true. You can't really, Rebecca, heal a marriage, heal a relationship, heal a family in a two day intensive. You can't really change the traumas and the trajectory that people's lives are on as quickly as you claim to. Well, anyone that's worked with me will testify they absolutely can heal really fast. Life can change and does change really fast. Once we understand the practice of emotional healing and a two day intensive or even a one time coaching intensive or just taking my emotional survival kit course, it does change lives forever, permanently, in the best possible way. And the other objection is, well, if I deal with my emotions, life gets worse, not better. If we look at what's inside of Pandora's box, that absolutely means we've got high stakes. There's going to be a cost, there's going to be collateral damage, and things get worse before they get better or they just get worse. So why would I want to lose the momentum I've got? Why would I want to risk hurting what I've created and losing what I've created? And the truth is, anything that falls away in the face of looking at our emotional baggage, what I'm going to suggest is it needed to go. It goes away when it's not meant for you and you can't make go away what's actually meant for you. Course in Miracles talks about this. I look at this lesson, I swear it saved my life as a cancer survivor with only a 5% shot at making it. This idea that nothing real can be threatened and nothing unreal exists. And I want to take it further. Nothing real is threatening. Just take that in for a moment. Nothing real is threatening. Nothing real can harm you. Only illusions, only what we are attached to believing is real that isn't actually real. It's the disconnection from the truth, starting with our own, that creates a threat and poses a threat and emotional baggage. It's the ultimate result of us living in an illusion and in a perceived threat that our emotions are the problem, that our emotions would create loss, that our emotions could damage relationships, that our emotions could hurt our reputation. I could go on and on and on, but what I want above all else for you to consider for yourself is that our emotions are very real and we are emotional creatures. And I think that's one of the things that makes our humanity magnificent. It's not a problem, it's not a threat. That we're emotional when we know how to use our emotions to our advantage, and we all have the power and the capacity to do that. It's just no one's really teaching us how. So emotional baggage is the weight of the unprocessed, unexpressed emotions that you carry that got stuck along the way, that need to be released, moved through. What I like to say is based. Move through, conquered and celebrated. That's the issue. That's the goal. So I'll tell you a story. So I had a client that I was just working with actually this morning that was up against a fear that not only is she too much, but that her getting her needs met somehow pose a problem. All of this fear, this very real fear got trapped because she doesn't want to ask for help. She doesn't want to be too needy. She doesn't want to be too much. So instead of risking asking for what she needs, committing to getting her needs met, committing to being someone who no matter what her needs are met unapologetically, she's committed to, she won't not get her needs met. Instead of that, she's just buried her truth, buried her desires, buried her certainty and clarity about what she needs. But more than that, a lot of stuck fear has been buried and there's been a huge resistance to purging because in essence, what she found was this emotional clutter that was actually presenting as real clutter in her space and her environment, in her life, even in her body, physically, there was comfort in the clutter and there was even more fear at the idea of the spaciousness that if she let herself had, which is something she wants and needs, it would do more harm than good. And the truth of the matter is the only real issue was she was keeping herself in a box and it was time to let herself out. But she wasn't trusting if she let herself out of the box, who she'd be, how she'd be, that there would be no loss, that only good would come. But what if, when we let ourselves just very gently and neutrally look at our emotional baggage for what it is, what if from that place we get free and from there we get clear? And from there we don't need to get too far ahead of ourselves? One of the biggest things that I teach and walk and guide you through in the emotional survival Kit course that you can get right here, right now, three hours to change your life forever. You can get it@rebeccasilence.com but one of the tools, I use a flashlight because I want people to see their next right, correct step for them. And one of the biggest things that I am teaching is I am teaching people how to be their own lifeline. I am teaching people how to connect to their own answers. I was just interviewed and asked about psychedelics in healing and personal growth practices. And I just said very honestly, I don't think there's a right or a wrong way to live. I don't think there's a right or a wrong way to heal. I don't think we can get it wrong. And so what's right for someone, no one can take that away from them. No one can threaten it. But also if we are thinking something's right for us because we think it's going to be the magic bullet or our savior or our salvation, no, you're it. You're the hero. I loved Lady Gaga's performance at the Oscars this year stripped down raw, real vulnerable. And she really talked about, what if we can be our own hero? And what if we are the hero we've been waiting for, Even if we feel broken inside and it's not our emotions or emotional baggage that broke us or is breaking us or is the the problem, It's a sign. When we recognize there's emotional baggage, there's emotional clutter. I'm in a box, I can't get out. The walls are caving in. I can't live like this anymore. These are all indicators that it's time to get honest about what emotionally we're resisting. Because your emotions, they're never baggage, they're never the problem. They're the guidance that will get you close to and clear about what your next right step for you is that you just can't get wrong. If your intention is to do no harm, if your intention is goodness and healing and pure, what's true for you, it just can't ever hurt anyone. It's when we're running from our emotional baggage and the weight of and the cost of being all clogged up emotionally, that's what creates harm. Okay, so what do we do then about emotional baggage? Once we recognize we are carrying emotional baggage which keeps us, in essence, clogged up and funky and disconnected from our own truth, which disconnects us from those we love and from life and miracles and possibility, what do we do about that? You can also go to rebeccasilence.com to take my free Trigger Trauma Release Method masterclass and have me walk you through it. But aside from that, what can you do? Number one, decide to commit to your emotions like your life depends on it. Here's what I mean by that. When you commit to your emotions, you make space for them. When you welcome your emotions, you make space for you. When you welcome your own truth, that's life. And what I want is for you to recognize that when a trigger happens, which is just a sign that you're carrying emotional baggage, I want you to ask yourself, okay, underneath my possible stuck fear, underneath my perceptions about reality, my fears of loss, my fears of being too much, not enough, whatever it is, underneath the emotional baggage, there's something I really care about. So what I want before we go into the emotional baggage, I want us to reconnect to our desire. What are you wanting? What is it that you hope for? What is it that you care about underneath the emotional baggage? And you can meditate on that. You can journal about that. You can voice memo yourself about that. You can go on zoom and do a video you with you just processing. What is it that I want? Emotional baggage. It's not the problem. It's access to something you care about to something you want, to something you desire. And desire means you're alive and focusing on your desire and deciding I will get my needs met. I will create the outcomes that I long for, hope for, care about. When you're there, you're alive. And when you're in resistance and denying your desires and your truth, you're killing off your own spirit, your own capacity to experience life in this moment. But not only that, your own capacity to experience the best of what life has to offer you is diminished. So emotional baggage means you care. What is it that you want desire, care about? Find that next. All we need is to get out your flashlight, your inner light. It just needs to shine on. What's one next step you can take in the direction towards your own truth? So in the case of the client that I was just sharing about, her next step is simple. Clean out the office. Get the clutter out of the office space. Create room. Break up with this idea that the walls caving in somehow creates momentum or motivation because that's never been true. Make space to create. That's our next step. Cleaning out the office. What's your next step going to be? I'd love to know. Comment. Message me, email me. But at the very least, get honest with yourself and come up with a next step for you. So we've already looked at what is emotional baggage. Now we're looking at what do you do with it. You acknowledge it. Then you look for what is it that you want and desire and care about underneath it. And from there, what's your next step? Easy? No. This simple? Hell yes. All right. What now could life look like on the other side of carrying all of this emotional baggage? I'm going to read to you a section from Coming Back to Life, the book I wrote, published in October by hci. It's a roadmap to healing from pain to create the life you want. But I wanted to choose a passage for you today that is going to just paint a picture of life on the other side. There's so much goodness in this book. People are loving it. Lives are changing. There are journal exercises at the end of each chapter to help you take your personalized experience and work even deeper. But let me just share with you. I'm reading from page 131. The section is the World doesn't know about you, yet you're alive. Why not step into and own your greatness? Greatness is a big word to me. Living into our greatness is the essence of fully living or all in living. There's no benefit, as far as I can tell, in holding our greatness back from the world. In my experience of working with hundreds of thousands of people in different capacities, I know that they are all coming for one thing. That thing is to connect to who they really are and then to become the person that's brave enough to stand in the power of being their authentic self. We can permanently break up with the part of ourselves that believes it's right to cower. For so long I couldn't put into words the essence of how it felt to go in and out of being fully me. If I cower, then I can't hear and then I can't think and then I'm not safe and then I just want to hide and put myself under the covers and hold on until I it ends. I can see how this coping skill and comfort measure kept me undermining myself and what I stand for. Can you see this for you as well? So many times I froze or ran or resisted instead of bravely and powerfully leading. Those moments have collateral damage. I'm sorry to anyone. I've never negatively impacted when all I knew how to do was freeze, run or resist. I can't change those moments, but I can and have learned from them. When we know better, we have a responsibility to do better and our best at the time was enough. And now let's move forward. Let's be all of ourselves so that we can be more careful with people. We can't be a loose cannon and expect to be respected or of any type of real service. Cancer had me officially break up with cowering and with being at war with myself and my life. Will you join me? I am great and so are you. I don't know why it's so painful to stand in that, but I do know it's true for all of us. It's more selfish for us to play small and scared as we run away from our power than it's ever been to be our full on best greatness. To me it means commitment to being all in with ourselves. Only from that place can we truly commit to people. And if you are thinking this doesn't apply to you, if you suffer at all, you're not owning your power yet. Suffering comes from fear, which means that fear has taken over your brain. When fear takes over. We're powerless. Note that powerlessness can look like aggression. It doesn't always look passive or submissive. What is your favorite way to be powerless? Do you prefer to freeze? Fight? Run? Anything else? Situations, circumstances, people and external factors can be slippery and subtle. But just know they are never ever more powerful than you are. Every morning I wake up clear as the cloudless sky that there is nothing more powerful in my life than my body, mind and soul. Nothing can take me out while I'm still here. Nothing can take you out while you're still here. I'm asking you to break up with the part of you that's been clinging to survival mode for so long. You do not need approval, reassurance or permission. Thank you to all of the teachers in my life that have supported me in getting brave and strong enough to withstand the fear based storms of me being fully authentic. Those two words, they're small and yet they mean everything. Services my life purpose. Leading impossibility is my life purpose. That's all I want to do. I love being alive and I love people. It's so much fun. Even in the most dark and difficult moments. I want to see and find my weak spots. I encourage you to try this on too. We do not have to make up for being here on the planet. I want us to be who we really are. I know the only solution is to be all of ourselves with an open heart, caring about each other. Many live in the dark rather than the light. It's suffocating to keep ourselves small and far away from all of what life has to offer us. Childhood demons, traumas, heartbreaks. They're the only real walls we've ever found ourselves up against. And every wall is the past on repeat, disguised as something new. I'll stop there. Emotional baggage prevents us from connecting to our most authentic selves. Emotional baggage keeps us safe and small and in the dark and reliving our past traumas, wounds and heartbreaks. And it just doesn't have to be that way. Emotional baggage. It doesn't have to be so heavy. And it's literally as simple as just letting go. Connecting to the truth of our emotions and finding the next brave right step for us. Here's what I'll leave you with today. My promise that this practice of being honest with yourself about where you are carrying emotional baggage in this moment, being willing to look at it and unpack it and if you need support, just reach out. I'm here. There's so many ways that we can work together. And finally visualizing first, before you have evidence, life on the other side of carrying the weight of your emotional baggage, what would it look like? What would it be like? What would it taste like? So now let's do a little visualization here. I want you to close your eyes if you feel comfortable, or just sit with me and begin to imagine. What would life on the other side of emotionally carrying so much heaviness and baggage feel like? What would it feel like? Maybe it would feel lighter. Maybe life would be brighter. Maybe there would be more joy, fun, adventure. What would it feel like? Just imagine. Next, how would you be living without the weight of the emotional baggage that you carry? What choices would you make? What would you keep? What would you need to let go of? What would you be making room for? And finally, who would you be? Ask yourself, without the weight of emotional baggage, I am someone who and just let your soul answer, what would life feel like? What would you choose? Who would you be without emotional baggage? And just know that life, it's available to you right now, even if external circumstances don't change yet. And I just want to leave you with you being this person, making these choices, feeling this way. You have everything you need to have that be your life. You don't need to be dreaming about or fantasizing about your dream come true life. You need to be living that life. And you can. And I believe in you. I'm cheering you on. I'm so excited for you. And just above all else, let go of any belief that emotions are the problem or could make things worse. They're the answer. You're the answer. And you getting connected to your emotions and your truth, that is what will always set you free. The darkness might be real, but so is the light. I'm here for you again. Subscribe to our YouTube channel Share this episode with someone you believe could benefit and know healing is possible for you, for me, for all of us. And you're so loved. I love you so much. Thank you for joining us and I will see you again soon.