Stress-Free Family Vacations: Engaging Your Kids Away from Screens

Live and local. It's Big Papa in the morning mix with a 2.5. It's a mental wellness Wednesday. Life coach Rebecca Silence. RebeccaSilence.com Rebecca, good morning. How are you?

Hi, everyone. Let's make some magic happen.

So, Rebecca, this week here in upstate New York is the week that all the kids are off from school. Okay. Which always brings its own kind of obstacles and what's the word I want to use? Not necessarily obstacles, but challenges. It creates its own kind of challenges. So let's talk to the parents of that are not on vacation. Vacation. They're like, they're staying local. But what are some tips to help keep the kids off their screen 247 and to keep them and to keep, and to keep them engaged and busy and just not just, you know, hiding in their bedroom all week.

Yeah, definitely. And this is, you know, whether we're on vacation or not, how do we engage with our kids? But for sure, I've got this going on here in Boulder, Colorado, in my own house. My nine year old was off Friday and Monday. It's not even spring break. We just had spring break. Now it's a random long weekend and my 9 year old is crying about how so many of her friends are going on trips and so many of her friends get to stay home with their parents that aren't working. And she has to go to this after care program and hang out at a camp she doesn't want to be at. I'm just saying in real time. I'm literally dealing with this. And I think what's super, super fun and important is to give everyone something to look forward to. That's my number one tip. So with my daughter, we're going to have a special dinner tonight. Her godmother's coming and you don't have to love that this is the day. But I am going to structure it in such a way where she has someplace to go, not just on screens, not just kind of running amok with the neighborhood kids. And then there's something to look forward to tonight. So I think that something to look forward to is awesome. Like, I get this is an ideal also including your kids in the conversation about how the week is structured and schedul this. I don't care if your kid is 4 or 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, this is a miss that parents don't even think about. And it's innocent. But God, is it a game changer when you include your kid in the upcoming week. Here's what's coming, what's important to you that you would want to look forward to. With all of what we've got going on that is massive to include your kids in the conversation. My kid's off today not wanting to be at a camp. Her father's about to fly out to New York actually to do some work for the whole week. So it's just the girls around here this week. My daughter isn't confused about what's going on and what we have to look forward to and the what you have to look forward to piece. It doesn't have to cost anything. It can be that you're binge watching the Voice with your child or who knows, making a nice dinner. It doesn't have to cost anything. Playing rummy, just sitting down and lighting a candle. And what's the most exciting thing going on in your life right now? What are you struggling with and how can I help? Like take these opportunities to connect to your child, to include them in conversation and to get to know them better and to let them get to know you. Here's what I'm excited about, here's what I'm struggling with, here's what I'm looking forward to. Talk to your kids while you're on vacation. And most important point here, Gary and everybody listening, please don't you dare try to be the parent you think you should be this week in order to prove you're doing it. Quote, end quote, right. There is no right. There is nothing to prove and you don't need to be any better, different more than you are. Your best is enough and you being aligned and authentic and modeling. We do what we do around here in my house, we work, we have quality family time. But I'm not apologizing for anything and I'm not ever trying to make up for anything I did with my 19 year old as the single mom, I was the guilty mom. There's not a dad in the picture. So let me try to live beyond my means, prove I'm a good mom, make up for some lack that didn't even exist. We don't have to do that.

No, not at all.

You're the sun, moon and stars as the parent.

No, absolutely. So what we're going to do is we're going to break here if you want to hear the the rest of this conversation and head on over to mix125.com or tune into our video stream YouTube.com cn@cny mix c n Y M I X and we'll continue the conversation right there. So as as we're Going on the two things that I really took away. It's not about the money, but it is about the time.

Yeah. And the time in a way where you're including your child in how we're spending that time. Right. It's not a dictatorship. And I've seen it a lot where the parent is just bossed around by the kid and the time is spent based on the kid wants this, the kid wants that. You know, like the bad children and Willy Wonka that doesn't work.

You know, and literally and literally to like dropping everything because the kid changes their mind in like, oh, well, okay. Throw the, the entire plan out the door because they changed their mind in two seconds.

Or how many times are you taking your kids to a nice dinner and they're in a bad mood and now you're resenting spending the money. You didn't even want to do this in the first place. The step is don't agree to the dinner if it doesn't feel good to you. And this is parenting hack that I swear will change your life. The first one we talked about is including your kid in the conversation. But the second one is don't do anything that you're not going to enjoy. When it's family movie night, we'll go through. All right, this option, this option, this option. I'll literally say, I don't want to watch that. I always offer a different solution. Whether we're talking about a movie or a meal or just how we're spending our time. Be solution forward. But don't agree to things because you think it'll make you a better parent that you don't actually want to do. You know, and we live in Boulder where there's trails and we can just get outside and look at the mountains and in central New York. It's beautiful. I get it's gray a lot, but it's beautiful. It's a beautiful place to live. And there are so many places to just get outside, walk around. But you going, it's okay that everyone wins, including me as the parent. And starting with me as the parent is a brand new precedent that can change your family. You knowing what you want and only agreeing to what you want, listening to what your kids want and creating a win for everyone is possible and it doesn't have to cost a dime. And yes, they want your presence. You are the sun, moon and the stars. Let me say that again. You are your kids whole world. Even when they're bratty, complaining, nagging, disrespectful, not appreciative. You are their whole world and you are their safest space to be sideways with if they need to be. And that doesn't mean you should take crap. But don't measure how important you are or how well you're doing as a parent based on your kids mood. Measure it against are you proud of how you're showing up as a parent. And that can include saying no as, as you're.

As you were going through that and one of the things that popped in my head is we're talking about having the kid kids be part of the planning and part of the ideas and, and coming up with, okay, everyone agrees to this. One of the things if for the parents is you got to keep your word, you got to follow through. You know, obviously, obviously emergencies come up and that's, that's one thing. But you know, you got to keep your word with the kids.

Oh, I am so grateful. I just got chills that you brought this up because we definitely want to keep our word as parents. We want our kids secure that they can trust that we are who we say we are and that we're going to do what we say. And I'm not saying in an emergency situation you can't renegotiate or communicate. Okay, plans changed. But again, if that happens, communicate on the front end, not after there's a broken agreement. And in all relationships, agreements make or break the relationship, meaning you keeping your word, you doing what you said you would do or not makes or breaks a relationship. And especially with your kids, you want to train them to expect people to come through and you want them to come through. So model it. And that means being super careful and conscious about what you're agreeing to because you just placating your kids. Oh yeah, sure, we'll do this, we'll do this. And then you didn't mean it. And then you don't follow through. Now you're disappointing, now you're breaking their heart. Now they're trained not to trust you. Nobody needs that in your household. So be careful about what you agree to because if you agree to it, back it up. I love that you brought this up, Gary. It is so important to be your word with your kids.

It is a mental wellness Wednesday with life coach Rebecca Silence. Hit her up online. Rebeccasilence.com there's all kinds of content, all kinds of free things that you can do to help yourself. And good, good luck on vacation parents.

Absolutely. And I, Rebecca silence.com you can get access to my brand new free masterclass. The three must know secrets to heal and save your family. It is worth the hour. It's essentially a short film and it will give you so much to add to this convers. Thank you for caring about being a great parent and I'll see you soon.