Surprising Places and Ways to Find Everything You Need - Meditation, Healing & More!

Welcome to the Healing Is Possible Hot Seat. I am creator of Healing is Possible. Rebecca Silence. Every week we dive into healing and how do we heal and what's in the way of our healing and what steps can we take now to progress on our healing journey at this time in history? The Hot Seat is brought to you by rebeccasilence.com and my amazing team. Visit rebeccasilens.com for everything from a free quiz to help you figure out your next step to healing to premium services. Today on the Healing Is Possible Hot Seat. I am so honored and grateful to be interviewing and speaking with the fabulous Teresa V. Theresa is really important in my life as my personal accountability partner and just godsend support. But she is a healing master in an angelic channel. And today we are, we are just going to talk stereotypes and we are going to talk resistance and how do you get through it? And so much more. Teresa, welcome to the Hot Seat. Thank you so very much for being here today.

Thank you so much for inviting me. I am thrilled to be here with you.

It is a blast. Let's just dive in. You and I were talking privately and then had the inspiration for today's conversation. Let's have you just take it away.

Yeah. Well, it's really interesting because so many of us here in this community and who find ourselves in need of healing are caretakers for other people. And when we have to spend that time on doing the care for ourselves, on doing the things that we need to do to heal, there's all of this guilt and all these other emotions that come up around it that tell us we should be using that time to work with others, to help others instead of using it on ourselves. And so we need to climb these mountains in order to get to that place where we can just do the workout, drink the green drink, do whatever it is. That's, that's our thing, like meditate, Forget it. I've heard every excuse in the book for not meditating, but, but it's so true. And this is part of our, part of our DNA, I guess, but also part of our upbringing, you know, part of our indoctrination about how we're supposed to be others focused on. And so it seems very counterintuitive to us when we have to focus on ourselves for the purposes of getting ourselves stronger and healing from the inside.

Well, and it's so cliche, but it's so true. And I do agree with you. I think we do have in this healing, in this healing as possible, family, a community of caretakers. And then we're not really taught to take care of ourselves or if, if we are, are taking care of ourselves, how often are we perceiving others as thinking we're selfish or being told that we're selfish or that it's wrong or bad? I think this is a really, really important conversation, especially in this community. And I want to just touch on quickly meditation, because you, you mentioned that word. And I know for me, for so many years I was like, I don't have time for meditation. What is meditation? What, why, like, why I'm just going to sit here and do what? How is that going to accomplish anything? And over the years, man, is meditation almost like a way that I live moment to moment? Like, this state of being present is what my opinion, in my experience of meditation is. And there's no right way to do it. But let's just talk like step one to stepping outside of the boxes that we put ourselves in, stepping into taking care of ourselves more so we can actually be better caretakers is meditation.

That's a big one. You know, there may be a couple of steps before you get to meditation.

Tell us.

Well, because meditation involves an aspect of fearlessness. It's fearlessness to sit and let the thoughts that you try to shut up inside of you. The things that you don't want to look at inside come up. And that's the biggest barrier that I've seen to people meditating is they don't know what. What's in there. And they're afraid. They're afraid to touch on it. Another big one that I've seen in various communities is, is, oh, it's against my religion, but if you look at any religion, there's something like meditation there. So I know for Catholicism, we've called it contemplation. And, and so that's all it is. So I think the first step is to realizing that there's nothing in there that's as scary as what you think you're going to find inside of yourself. That's the biggest thing that prevents people from actually sitting or from getting quiet in the first place. So we don't have to sit to meditate. We can go take a walk. But how many people take a walk with the earbuds? How many people constantly have to have some sort of noise or stimulation as opposed to getting quiet within? And this is the first step is knowing that it's okay to get quiet. Nothing in there that's as scary as what you think is in there.

Yeah. And as you're talking, I just think about 15 years of clients that are afraid to take the next step and the next leap into whatever their next dream is. And I do think we do get scared to address, oh my gosh, what's going to come up. And if I had a dollar for every time I've heard, if I start crying, I'm not going to stop. And. Right. And I don't know if I can do it. So I don't want to start the process when it comes to our dreams. So I really love what you're saying about there really isn't going to be anything as scary as the version that you're making up about what you might endure or encounter if you take that next level, whether it's towards meditation or whether it's towards self care or whether it's towards your next dream.

Absolutely, absolutely. You know, and it's. Meditation has a wrap where it's just. Oh, it's just for those spiritual people who, you know, want to attain enlightenment. And I'm just, I'm a CEO and I go to work every day and, you know, it has no place in my life. I have seen CEOs change the way they lead, change the decisions they're making, change their productivity levels and the productivity levels of everyone around them by just spending five minutes in meditation every day. And it's amazing because it taps you in to your inner wisdom. It taps you into that inner source that already knows. And that doesn't mean that you're disavowing any outside. So if you believe in a God that's outside of you, it doesn't mean that you're turning your back on that being. It means that you're listening to your intuition first. You're listening to your intuition and then taking it to the divine and saying, hey, you know, how can, how can I use this? Show me the way. And I think that disconnection has been what's held a lot of us back, you know, the fear. And it's unbelievable. And I just feel like that's the thing for all healing, for all healing. We're afraid to go within. We're afraid to look at what's there, what caused the dis. Ease in our body in the first place. And you're a powerful example of that, where you could have just said, I don't want to go into any of this. I'm afraid that it's going to be this tidal wave that's going to, to wash me away. And it wasn't easy, right? It's not sometimes. Well, it's Very rarely easy. There's stuff in there that you're going to have to work through, but you don't have to do it all at once. It unfolds as it's ready to be healed.

I couldn't agree more. And for those of you that don't know me or my story, I'm a cancer survivor. I was pregnant at 34 with cancer. I have some other traumas that created this Rebecca silence version of myself that does what I do today with healing as possible. And I do have personal experience and agree, as do you, Theresa, have personal experience when we say it's not as scary as you think. But I will say that there were years, it was so bizarre. I almost never talk about this. I probably haven't ever talked about this publicly. There were years I was suicidal in my undergrad and during, especially the sophomore, junior year of my undergrad as a music therapy major with a psych minor, where I would just start crying. And it would literally be five hours, five hours at a clip. You know, the poor boyfriend I had at the time, like, he would just be looking at me, like, not knowing what to do. I literally would start crying and I couldn't stop. And what I want to say about that is, if you're afraid to kind of go there, first of all, how can we caretake if we're running on fumes and our battery isn't fully charged? Right. And sometimes, too, it's easy to use caretaking as a diversion from being with our inner issues and our inner selves also. Right. So let's just talk about that. But what I do want to say from my own personal experiences, it's like the dam burst open, the floodgates burst open. It's not going to last forever. So when we're saying it's not as scary as you think, it doesn't mean it's still not scary. It's just you're stronger, you're more powerful, and you're equipped. I love what you just said, Teresa, about, like, the healing. When it's ready, the issues, the dis ease, it bubbles up so it can be released. And it doesn't mean you're ready. It means it's ready and then you've got what it takes. You do, you absolutely do, whether you believe that or not.

Yeah. It's like we go inside and we expect that there's a huge lion in there. And when we actually get in there, it's a kitten. Right. That's what we need. We need the love and the care that you would give a kitten. And it's not. We expect to have to tame the lion. It's a completely different experience. And, you know, I've seen it in my own life. I've seen it with so many clients. And I just love what you just said about the caretaking becomes the excuse. And it does. It's not always conscious. It's a lot of times subconscious or unconscious. Because we have been taught taking care of others is the way to be a good person. You have to put others before yourself. That's actually a thing that we hear in our lives a lot. Put others before yourself. And what we learn, we've heard it in so many ways that it's become trite. You know, fill yourself up before you can fill up other people. And we hear it and it just becomes a saying. But when we work with the angels, that when we work with angelic healing, the angels actually will not work through us if we don't allow ourselves to be filled up with their energy first. They call it spiritual selfishness. And they fill us with the energy first and then with whatever comes through. After that, we can assist other people to move their blockages. So that's actually, you know, it's. It's spiritual law. You need to fill yourself up. And in this world at this time, it is so important if you want to show up for other people that you need to have your self care be as on point as it can be at any point in the day.

Yeah. And whatever that version is for you, I don't think self care is cookie cutter, but I do start and end every single day in gratefulness and in silence every single day. It makes such a difference. And can you just speak a little bit more to how are the angels filling us up and how can we fill ourselves up so.

Well, like you said, filling yourself up is. Is very. It's an individual thing. So what brings me joy and makes me happy may not do the same for you, but joy is the biggest way to fill ourselves up. So even if we're in a place where we're depressed and can't access joy, what can we do that we enjoy doing? Can we sit down and compose a piece of music? Listen to some music that will move those emotions through us. Can we draw a picture? Like, what is it that would bring us closer? There's like the emotional scale bring us out of depression and into maybe anger, because anger is. Depression becomes depression when it's internalized. So. So like, how can we get ourselves closer? And. And I think it's a very bio. Individual thing. But it is important every day for us to check in with our bodies and ask our bodies, how can I best support you? What is it that you need today? Because so many times we think of spiritual, mental, emotional, but we don't actually ask our physical body what it needs, you know, and. And that's where we get the full package. What do we need today? And you may need to see your therapist. You may need to go for a massage, you may need to eat three apples, whatever it is, you know, And. And the angels, this is a particular form of healing energy that comes through. So like, kind of like a Reiki or something like that. But the angels will send the energy through us. It's universal energy. And they will say, you know, we can't send it through. We won't allow it to be sent through if you are not resonating at that frequency, at that lightness. So regardless of what's going on, we could be having the worst day, right? I could be having the worst day of my entire life. And I walk into a healing session and I say, okay, angels, we're going to work with this client, and I can run that energy through and be fully present with the client and be in that vibration. And then the client leaves and it's. I'm right back to where I started. And that's how we all show up as caretakers, right? You're feeling sad, you're feeling depressed, but you need to put on that face for your kid to go to school. So instead of putting on the face asking, what is it that will actually allow me to get to the point of being able to show up for them instead of pretending I'm at that authentically? Yeah. What will actually let me do that?

Right? Because the game face, the mask, the going through the motions, it does create more toxicity and more disease, and it's unnecessary. You know, the world. The world can handle us in our darkness, and we can move through dark quicker than we can even imagine. That's what I'm hearing as you're speaking. Teresa and I love how aligned our teachings are. The way I teach what I think you just said in a different way is just follow inspiration, right? Like, inspiration is in my world, when you're inspired, you're connected to the highest version of you in spirit, in your spirit. And we can be connected to that highest version of ourselves in cancer, in a bad day, in a dark spot. And these emotions that come up and need to be released so that we're not depressing them down. They're not going to kill us. And it's never a good time, right? Like, if you're waiting for a good time to feel through what you've buried for decades, good luck. Right? Like, there's not going to be a good time, and it won't last forever. And yes, have a great coach or therapist or mentor and support accountability partners like I have with Teresa there for you, with you, connected to you as you go through this. But know that what we do always have access to is following inspiration, you know, And a great assignment is to make a list of 25 inspiration hacks that really, genuinely do inspire you, no matter what. So if it's seeing flowers on your kitchen island when you come down the stairs in the morning, if it's taking a bath or reading a book or lighting some candles or watching, you know, Netflix and chilling, who cares? What is it? What are your personal inspiration hacks? I surround myself with inspiration hacks in this little office. I have client artwork all around me.

Me.

I have crystals. I have literally a magic wand one of my best friends bought me that sits right here on my desk. Like, what are your inspiration hacks? Do you even know? Have you even thought about it? Because you can always start there.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And I. I love what you're saying, because when. When we're talking about, where are we okay, regardless of what's going on in the world, we can be okay. And we can be okay in this present moment. So when we're not okay, we're either in the past or the future.

Oh, that's so important, Teresa.

Yes. Yeah. So. So in this moment, regardless of what's happening in my life, someone could have just died. I could have just gotten a diagnosis that I didn't necessarily want. If I come back to here and now in this present moment, that's where I am. Okay? I have everything I need. Get your head back to where your feet are. Get yourself out of that spin, because that's actually what meditation is. All the times we sit or we focus on the technique or whatever. All meditation is at the end of the day is being present in this moment, having 100% of your energy there with you doing what it is you're doing. So I'm not writing an article and talking on the phone and watching TV at the same time. I'm doing one thing with my full presence. That's when I'm in meditation, and that's the goal at the end of the day is to be able to do that meditation on its Own means single pointed focus. So if we are only focused on the diagnosis we've been given, guess what? We're meditating on it, we're creating more of it. If we're only focused on the fear that we have about this situation, we're meditating on that and we're giving it power. So what we need to do is focus on and meditate on what it is we want to cultivate in our lives. So even in this moment, if I'm scared, if I'm upset, if I come back here, love, peace. See, that's it. You just breathe and you be with the breath and you take yourself back here and that's where you're okay. And I love that you brought that point up because that's. Yeah, that's actually a huge key to the self care. We get ourselves out of what we should be doing and we focus on what is it that I need.

Yeah. And there's so much I want to say in response to just what you just said. My first mentor, Carol Reynolds, she used to say, right here, right now, you're safe. Right? So find your word. Okay? Safe. I just had a client in a couples intensive that wasn't feeling safe when his wife was would hit any type of upset. And he was totally safe. Nothing was happening. She was just having an emotion and he didn't know how to be with it. And in his childhood he wasn't safe around a maternal figure, physically not safe, but with his wife he was. But he couldn't get that. And it is really important as these darker emotions start to come up, the darker side of ourselves starts to say, hey, I'm here too. Right? Because how are we really fully expressed until we can embrace and enjoy both our dark and our light and use it all for good, right? And right here, right now, we're safe. So if there's a moment where you're feeling that, okay, try on right here, right now I'm safe. And if you're in a moment where you're not, get yourself safe, call the police, get some help, get the hell out of there. And then I have Eric Plattenberg. You're on season two of the Tougher Together Breakthrough podcast. Teresa, she, she kicks off season two. She's episode one. You should check it out if you haven't already. Amazing. And later in the season, a friend of Min, Eric Plattenberg is on and he taught me about abundance and this saved my life. Because the other thing I am hearing you say, Teresa, is that we can be ok even in situations that aren't our preference. Right? It doesn't have to be. I can be of service. I can be a great caretaker. I can be the best of me only when things are going the way I want outside of me. That is really what we are talking about today. How do you internally stay aligned with who you are and who you want to be, regardless of what's going on out here? And what Eric taught me was his definition of abundance. Well before I got sick. And it is in every moment I am and have everything I need. And I remember that was when I was sick. In this moment, I am and I have everything I need. Even if I can't get out of bed for months on end, Even if I can't hold my newborn baby, even if I've got my older child saying, great, you're all I have and you're going to die. I can be who I am and no, I have everything I need. I am and have everything I need. It's a mantra that I highly recommend you repeating to yourself over and over again. It saved my ass when I was sick. Thank you, Eric.

You know, it's a good one, definitely. I think it's important, too, to realize that right now, a big thing coming up for us is it's not just about dark and light. It is very much about dark and light, but it's also about trauma. It's about trauma that we didn't even realize. Like, the entire world in the past year and a half has experienced trauma. There is not one living being that has now not experienced trauma. And to varying degrees, not to, you know, make your trauma smaller or judge, but it's. It's really important to realize that sometimes when we're not feeling safe, it's our body having its natural response to a stimulus. Like our body is moving into fight or flight. We're not feeling safe, we're not feeling held because of something that we don't even remember. So when we can sit with our body and be there in that situation, then we can listen to. To the needs. And it's, you know, I'm bringing myself back to the. It's such an interesting, interesting thing that happens when your body and your spirit have different reactions to things. So, yeah, I was on a plane that we thought it was going down in early 2020. And we're on this plane and I'm sitting there and spiritually, emotionally, I'm okay. Like, I'm literally okay. I know that all is taken care of. I'm going through my mantra. I'm talking to the angels. I'm actually yelling at the angels. And, you know, but my body was having its physiological reaction to what would be a fight or flight situation. But I'm on a plane, so I can't do the flight. And. And it's having all of the pupils dilating, heart rate going up, wanting to release adrenaline coming up. And I'm just sitting there watching. I'm like, wow, how amazing when we can truly be okay in a moment. But our body still needs to do what it needs to do because its job is to protect us. And, like, the gratitude for my body at that time, like, even though I couldn't let it do what it needed to do, just its ability and it's wanting to do that to protect me, it was just amazing. And so that's what we need to realize is it's not always all of us that goes into this. Sometimes we're just going through a normal reaction to something that is outside of us, to something we're experiencing. And when we can find, when we can have the courage to go into. What is that? What is that trigger for me, we can learn so much about ourselves, and we can start to have a more open dialogue with our body and tell it to calm down and work with it instead of trying to circumnavigate what it does or push it in the opposite direction.

Well, and I think that's another really, really key factor to healing and taking care of ourselves as caretakers is recognizing our trauma responses. And we can't compare our trauma stories. And I hear that all the time. No, you are. When that nervous system goes into fight, flight, freeze, having a trauma response and sometimes it's not even about. It could be a normal reaction to a situation in front of you, but it could also be, you got your life safe enough, you got your life set up beautifully for you to finally be able to heal and release some of the stuck trauma in your body. You know, I see that all the time. I also see it when I'm doing work with families. Oh, I get chills. When a parent has done their work to get themselves safe and healed. And the adult leading their lives and designing their lives the way they always imagined they could. Now their kid goes into breakdown. Why? Because it's safe now the kid can't go into breakdown and deal with their trauma while they're still a kid. When the parent is in fight, flight, freeze. Fight, flight, freeze. Fight, flight, freeze, the kid holds their breath emotionally and sometimes literally. And so if you're a person that's done your work, and now it feels like you got kicked in the gut because now your kid's in breakdown. Take it as a compliment. You've got the family safe enough and set up for the kid to be able to deal with their own experience while they're still a kid. It's amazing. It's one of the most gorgeous, gorgeous gifts parents can give their kids is to get healthy and solid. And if you're here, you're on that journey, so congratulations. But know that it can be that you just got your life safe. So now your body's releasing and nothing maybe is actually happening around you. And that's okay. I think sometimes we think we need a crisis or a big drama happening in our external to give us permission to go here, and we don't.

Nope. It's also very important to realize that when you are that parent that is doing all of this work to make yourself healthy, to get yourself healthy, whether it's intense emotional and mental work or it's getting to the gym every week or whatever it is for you, your child is also learning that it's okay to take space for itself. Right. It's our children learn through us. They also, when we put on the brave face, but we're feeling something else, we're not fooling them. They're highly intuitive. They feel it, they know, and they're learning, oh, my parent is pretending they're okay, but they're not. And so this is what I need to do. This is what we do in order to help and caretake those around us. But in truth, we're just reinforcing a broken system. And so when we do have that situation where maybe the kid does go into breakdown, guess what? That child has learned that it is okay to be there. It is okay to take care of themselves because of what you've done. And that is breaking a cycle. That is giving a whole new vocabulary to a whole new world and a.

Whole new experience and possibility. I love, love, love what you just said. And they can get through it. And you modeling that for them is everything. And then I also think it's just worth mentioning, you know, our internal dissonance. Like in music when the chords are dissonant and not vibing, that internal dissonance can heal. And the silence and the stillness and the listening to your body is key. And your body will tell you if you're thinking, oh, I've tried this, my body, I'm too disconnected, or I check out or I dissociate or my body won't give me those cues. You got to just keep practicing. If my body can start to talk to me, anybody's body can start to talk to them. It's really real that those answers are in you. And I think it's also important to point out, just like our internal response can get aligned regardless of what's happening outside of us, it's not really anybody's fault outside of us that our body goes into this trauma response. People did what they did, life is doing what it does. The external factors are there, but it's also about your fear of not being able to be okay or safe that is really the issue. It's what you can control and nobody did that to you.

Definitely. You know, it's also really interesting. We, we have varying degrees of self punishment and we do different things and sometimes we think, okay, I'm committing to this form of self care. I'm committing to, let's say, going to the gym every single day. I'm committing to that and I'm going to do this workout, I'm going to lift this much weight, I'm going to do this much card. And then third day we wake up and our body says to us, please don't make me go to the gym. Right. But what do we do? We move into the mind and we say, oh, I'm just in resistance, I'm in resistance and I need to go because I know that this is the way to get through it. But our body is telling us, please don't do this to me. So maybe our body wants to move in a different way and that's what listening in can do. It decreases the amount of self violence and it stops us from pushing ourselves. When our body is giving us a different message, it gives us room to have that dialogue. So okay, body, if you really don't want to go to the gym today, what would you prefer to do instead? Instead of just forcing and thinking that you're in resistance. Now, there may be days you are in resistance, but it's really about checking into that and, and listening to what's good for you. Because sometimes when we do the self care, we throw ourselves further out of balance by not being flexible with what that means. And that's also, that could be from past situations as well, like how we needed to show up, what box we were put in, and you know, all of the things. So, so it's just important for us to really leave that room for that dialogue with, with not just our physical body, but mental emotional bodies as well.

Yeah, well, and there is all this pressure and there are all these outside influences and then there's the part of us that thinks we know what we should do, even if it goes against what that internal guidance system is saying. And I think we can use all of that societal pressure and internal pressure as a guidance system to bring us back to listening to wait a minute. What's true for me. And I also like to say authenticity. It's a moment to moment process. So what's true for you in this millisecond? You're going to be a completely different person tonight when you go to bed than you are right now. Then what if that's okay?

And how do we access that? By being in the present moment.

Amen. Yes, Theresa, what have we left out? Give us final thoughts and a homework assignment if you would, please.

So I think the biggest thing is just to realize that, that it's not just an expression that you need to be filled up before you take care of others. This is a whole new world that's demanding a lot of different things for us. We have our own path. So really make time every single day to check in with your system and ask, what do I need today? What would I enjoy today? So that's a two part question. What do I need and what would I enjoy? And even if it's only three to five minutes, make time for those two things. Things.

I love it. And we have the ability to follow inspiration, to go farther and deeper than we think we can go because it feels too scary. And to get ourselves out of this self inflicted suffocating jail of pressure, it's time to live more. And the way to do that is to address and move through and grow past our trauma responses. Default setting. Teresa, I can't thank you enough for being here. And when all else fails, just go back to the silence, go back to the stillness because it really is a great way to reboot that internal guidance system like it's a computer.

Absolutely.

What a gift to have this time with you. What a gift you are to my life, Teresa. Thank you. Oh my gosh. This has been awesome. Again, the healing is possible. Hot seat brought to you by rebeccasilence.com if you want to join me or if you want to work with me directly, head to rebeccasilence.com right now. And we are, we're booking out through the end of the year. Hot seat laser coaching. If you have a healing story or message that you want to share, let's go. Let's get more healing as possible. Messaging out there into the world. Thanks, everyone, and we will see you very soon. Thank you, Theresa.

Thank you.