This is a short live YouTube interview (mental wellness segment) with life coach Rebeccah Silence and host Spence about navigating family dynamics during Thanksgiving. Rebeccah, who mentions 25 years of private-practice experience, emphasizes prioritizing the family you live with over an extended childhood family, setting unapologetic, non-negotiable plans that protect your immediate family’s needs, and communicating by offering concrete solutions and requests rather than passing problems. The transcript ends with a CTA: DM the phrase "Emotional cpr" for a free masterclass.
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"Emotional cpr"
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We're live and local on a mental wellness Wednesday with life coach the unsilent woman herself, Rebecca. Silence online. The unsilent woman.com Rebecca, good morning. How are you?
Well, hello, everyone. I am so thankful for all of you this Thanksgiving week and so happy to be here.
And obviously I'm thankful for you as well, Spence. This is the kickoff to the holidays. Let's talk about the elephant in the room. Let's talk about dealing with the holidays and the pressure that everyone feels in some way, shape or form and how to deal.
Yeah, this is the time of year where obligation can take over and I think that's the biggest pressure that we put ourselves under, where we feel obligated and who we feel obligated to. And one of the things I've seen in 25 years in my life, private practice work, is where a family will prioritize their childhood family over the family they've built and that gets in the way and that can ruin your holiday. So what I want you to do is instead of focusing on what everybody wants from you, what everybody needs from you, the to do list and all of what you feel like needs to happen, really check in with your spouse and your kids and find out what, what's important to everybody and literally do what you want. Because in so many cases, family drama, it will happen. And when someone is in drama, upset off, they're looking for a reason, right? To shut down, lash out, run away. So you showing up perfectly isn't going to make everyone behave perfectly. Right. So you might as well make sure your needs are met, you're fulfilled, you're joyful, and you have a great week and not think, oh, if I walk on these eggshells, if I don't say the wrong thing, if I just do what they wanted, then they're going to be happy because chances are the people in your family that are offended, upset, they're just looking for reasons to be. So no matter what you do, they'll end up there anyway.
So it's all about setting yourself and your family up to win, no matter what that looks like. Question for you, how do you approach communicating that to your family who may expect you to do something or that something you've always done? How do you start a conversation? How do you communicate that? Because that can be the trickiest part of all.
Well, I'm so glad you asked. That's a wonderful question. So what I want you to do is make sure you're unapologetic. Okay. And fearless when you say okay this year, here's our family's plan. Right? And literally say it like facts. You don't have to over explain. You have nothing to prove, you don't have to convince anybody of anything. And you certainly don't have to make sure other people aren't upset with you. I think the biggest holiday dramas come because people get afraid of conflict and they don't want anybody to get upset. So then they're walking on eggshells. They're not telling their truth. So just say it. This year we're what takes care of my family is what our plan is. And then talk to the other person about how everything can coordinate and work together. And if they don't like what you're doing, it's a non negotiable and you can say, oh, these plans that I'm sharing with you aren't actually up for discussion. This is our plan and I want to make it work with you. I love you so much. You matter so much. We want time together but around our schedule this year and you can just.
Let it sit, the big thing is communicate. Communicate with yourself. Communicate with your, you know, with your immediate family, you know, the ones that you live with day to day. And then once you come to a conclusion, then communicate moving, you know, outward, you know, together.
Right?
Yeah.
And, and you can say, I want us to land on something that works for both of us. But these are the things that are important to me. I'm. These are the things that are important to you. And here's the last hack I'll give you. Whether it's holiday communication or any day of the week at home or at work, you can actually say to people, you know, here's my solution or make a request. So many of you in your communication, you just pass the problem back and forth like hot potato. And I want you offering solutions and making requests and not just putting problem in somebody else's hand and hoping they can fix it because they won't be able to. Solutions requests. Solutions requests. Remember that.
Absolutely. It is a mental wellness Wednesday. She is incredible. She's life coach and the unsilent woman herself. Rebecca Silence online. The unsilent woman. Com. Have a great holiday.
If you need emotional cpr, DM me Emotional cpr and I'll send you a free masterclass.
