The Art of Receiving | Step Into Your Worth w/ Rebeccah Silence + Lia Valencia Key

Welcome to the Healing is possible hot seat. I am the creator of Healing is Possible. Rebecca. Silence. The purpose of this show is to take you along on a journey of hope and healing. Especially now with all of the crazy in the world, us being solid is so important. Solid within ourselves with the ability to access our. Our most healed versions of ourselves. And what I've been saying recently is the world needs you healed so you can make your difference. And if you don't think you're a difference maker, you are or you wouldn't be here. Hot Scene is brought to you by my gorgeous team and rebeccasilence.com and you know, today's episode is really special. It's with one of my dearest friends, Leah Valencia, Key back again for another show. And, and today, what Leah and I want to share with you, it is the holidays. It is December. We are still in a pandemic. Today's topic is about receiving. And this is a big one. You know, people sometimes get afraid to let the miracles in, afraid to let the light in, afraid to let the possibilities in. And if you're here, if you're part of this audience, you're already a giver.

Yeah.

Your issue isn't knowing how to give more. That's not where you could benefit. But I guarantee you, receiving more is. So, Leah, welcome to the hot seat.

So honored, excited, happy to be back. Thank you. Thank you. Happy holidays.

Happy holidays to you. And you've got so much magic that you're distributing into the world. New, new products even beyond your jewelry line, you know, and I think the giving really is about receiving. So let's just get your take on receiving. Let's get your take on how receiving is healing. And let's kick this episode off.

Receiving is such a powerful word because it can be life changing when you realize that you are worthy to receive. And I think it becomes really hard for a lot of us and a lot of givers, like, I know a lot, like, honestly, my whole circle of love are givers. It's just a natural thing. And it's hard when you're a giver to receive because one, you get your joy in giving, right? You feel whole when you're able to put something in someone's life. But when we realize that as much as you give, you have to receive because every time you give out, you are giving of yourself. And you've got to make sure that you're receiving things in because that's how you stay strong. That's how you stay energized. That's how you know that your worthiness is just as good enough to receive it as as much as to give it. So I'd love to let any giver out there know, first, I love you and you're in my circle, but also open your heart to receive and in different ways. What I also want to talk about receiving is you don't receive in the way that you give. It's not like I give this. I should receive that. You don't need that type of receiving.

Oh, this is good, Leah. Yes.

Like, you open your mind to receive what you need. Sometimes someone's a tangible giver. So you like to give physical gifts. Well, then you probably don't need physical gifts. That may not be your joy of receiving, but maybe you need to receive words of affirmation.

Yeah. So.

Right.

Yeah. So can I just get in there? Yeah. Leah is bringing up love languages. So I think this is really important because especially in couples, even with parents and children, even with best friends, even when I'm doing team trainings in a business with coworkers, one of the things people do is they give their love language instead of ending what the other person's love language is. Right. So if I am a words of affirmation person, then I give a lot of that because that's what I want to receive. And then the flip is also true. And what you're bringing up is the flip. So I'm gonna. I'm going to give you the type of love and support that you're asking for, and that's the healthiest way to give, by the way. Find out what they actually want. Don't assume. Don't give them what you would need unconsciously so that they'll give it to you. That's a manipulation, and it's a mess, and it's a disaster. Right. So find out what they actually want so you can give it to them, and then understand that the way you receive is different. The love languages are acts of service, giving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch. And there is a free quiz if you want to know what yours is. But, you know, I found this to be true, too. When I was sick, people would give me the type of support they would have wanted. Only maybe two people that I can think of the entire time I was really sick and dying actually asked me what would support you, Rebecca. Everybody assumed they knew. So givers sometimes need to up the ante on how they're giving in terms of having permission and making sure they know what actually would land with the other person. But then receiving, you know, is a different dance. And the other thing I want to bring up, just to piggyback on what you're saying, Leah, is, you know, I think it's easier to receive in a crisis, but we don't need a crisis. We need to stay strong and solid and receive so that just imagine your life is like a battery. And if your phone is running on 2% all the time, that's stressful. If energetically you are running on 2% all the time, that's stressful. And the more you receive, the more fully charged you are and then the more you're able to actually give and serve and make your difference.

It's exactly. It's a ever evolving energy blessing. Yeah, right. But what I also, I want to touch in receiving that. In order to receive what you need, you have to know what you need and you have to be clear, not asking for anything, but just by the way you are what you say. You're clear to the world on who you are and your needs. And when you're clear to the world on who you are and your needs, then people can give you what you need. One of the most challenging things is people don't know what to give you because you're never clear on what you need or you're not very vocal on your likes or your joys. I am very adamant about my joys, right? So I'm never telling anyone what I want or need because I'm going to find a way to get what I need. But I am excited about what brings me joy and so everyone knows it. Yellow brings me joy, Adventure brings me joy.

Right?

Great people bring me joy. And so I am speaking about it all the time. I'm engrossing myself in it all the time. So it makes people. It's easy to give me something, it's easy to receive when you, when people know what they can give you. So sometimes we're blocking our blessings when we're so enclosed and not adamant about who you really are and your loves of the world, your wonders of the world. I'd say start talking about your likes.

More and yeah, I love this. And your passions and what inspires you. I have a great assignment that I give out in coaching sometime sometimes make a list. And I maybe have said this even with you, Leah, on a different it's a life thing episode that we've done, but making a list of like your top 50 to 100 inspiration hacks, like what brings you joy, inspiration and more life. But I Think too, just to make it simple. A lot of us, you know, the, the way I like to think about it is I think my audience is really the ones that see what life could be right for all of us. And we're not in the game of becoming the best versions of ourselves just for ourselves. We care about humanity, right? And so it's easier to focus on potentially everyone else and how we can help and how we can serve. But again, you running on fumes actually isn't you at your greatest ability to serve. So if you don't know what you want or need or what would take care of you, here's a hack.

Oh, I love a hack.

I love a hack. Just admit it. I don't even know right now what I need, but I know something's off. Just say it out loud, give yourself permission, and then let's make it really simple. Do you want to be listened to? Do you need to be heard? Do you need to just be seen? Do you need someone to just be with you? Do you need ideas or advice or someone to process with? Just start there with one of those five. You know, I just, I just want you to listen. How powerful is it to start a conversation with a friend or someone in your support system and just say, could you just listen to me, please?

Yes.

See, that's exactly what I'm life changing, right?

Sharing what you need.

Can you listen and then tell me what you think? You know, sometimes I don't want to know what you think. Sometimes I just need to get it out. Sometimes I really want to know what you think. Right. So like ask for it and don't assume it can be simple. It can be simple. You know, just start with baby steps. Would you just listen to me right now? Would you be with me until I come up with a solution? Would you be with me and help me brainstorm solutions? Start there. Life changing and so validating, you know, and if you're on the giving end, you can, you can do this too. Do you want me to just listen? Do you want to know what I think? You know, don't set yourself up for the trap of like, you're here to help, but you don't know what your job is in that moment.

Right?

Right.

I also love really being so when I think about receiving. It's such a topic to me because don't expect also. So receiving is beautiful when it, to me, it's organically given. And you don't want to set yourself up an expectation of what someone should be giving you because all Friends and all people in your life have capabilities to give what they're capable of and in the way that they can do it. Now, you'll receive your best part of them when what we just said, you're clear out to them on what you need. Right. But then allow them to give it in the way that is best for them. And sometimes they can't give that to you. So maybe there's another friend. So what I'm saying is you have all of these people in your life and you can't look at specific people to give you specific things. Allow everyone in your life to fit in their box of what they're capable of doing and allow them, because that's where the best love happens.

Right? So the way I teach this, Leah, it's about getting unattached. So know what, Know what the support is that you need and then don't be attached to who specifically you want that support from. Right? That's what you're saying. Right. And another thing I teach is let people love you their way.

Yeah.

You know, do your best. I just did an episode on the Denver News on toxic relationships a few weeks ago where I was saying, like, give people a chance to grow with you before you just say they're toxic and cut them out. Have you. If you basically told them what you need and asked for this person to be willing to grow with you through the growing pains of whatever it is you guys are in together. Right. So, you know, knowing the support you need, like a babysitter is a really great example. If I need a babysitter Saturday night, if this one can't do it and this one can't do it, just keep going down the list. Yeah, just one babysitter, you know, an accountant. I know I need someone to help me with the numbers because that is not my skillset. If need, you know, someone to help me put together a retreat, my virtual assistant. Right. Know the ballpark of what you need support with and get committed to that support will happen without putting all this pressure on one person to do it. And then know, like, the way they love you, the way they support you, we're not here to micromanage it.

Receive it, especially receive it, especially if you know their intention. So you know, you know, not to receive the wrong type of whatever. Right. The negatives, but within their intentions. And you know, they love you receiving their intentions. And you actually teach people how to give you. And that's what you're saying. You're saying let people grow with you. But in that growing you have to be committed to being a teacher of what you need from them and how you need it from them. Because someone that truly loves you wants to give you what you need and how you need to receive it. But you also have to be able to share with them what you need and love. And not in dogmatic force. Right? Because then I don't want to give it to you if I'm forced to give it or if you're unsatisfied the way I gave to you before and you expect it this way. And then you're shutting down your blessings of receiving versus helping that person who truly loves you. You already start with intention. They are, they truly love me. So then in a loving way, molding that person and teaching them your best way to receive. And I promise you it'll happen like you're saying, over time.

Well, and I think our relationship is a really good example of this because we give each other a lot of grace. We both, we both need freedom. Right. And we just, I think what works really well for me anyway about us is we just agree to communicate and we're there for each other. And if things need to get renegotiated or if something comes up, we're communicating, we're respectful, we let each other know like, hey, some things like pressing are really important or you know, here's what's going on. And I think we've also got to just pay attention in receiving to not being really nearsighted, to not being like, oh, this person, you know, is asking to change a plan last minute so they don't care about me. Not necessarily. Like, we're in the long game here. Yes, we're in the long game as difference makers, as givers and as, as people in relationship with other people. So be careful not to get too nearsighted and receive that, oh, this moment in time is the determining factor for how cared about I am.

No, right. I like that you don't paint your reality to the giver or to the immediate moment. The immediate moment. And receiving is just, it's filling when you receive. Like it actually it, like it allows you to keep being your best you. But it can be depleting if you're not receiving it in the way in which you feel as though you should. So I think communication is key. The key is knowing you're worthy to receive first and foremost. As good as you give is as much as you should receive, and then being able to communicate within your receiving so that everyone is in a really good place because the giver Wants to give you what you need. That's why they are giver. And you as a receiver and love can help curate the way in which you receive and what you receive and. And then you're always energized back and forth and then you find out what that giver needs. Right. Because as soon as you give once, I say we're blessed to be a blessing. So as soon as you receive that receiving truly is not for you, I feel it's a funnel of blessings to you in order for you to bless someone else.

Yeah, I love that.

And that how we keep going.

Yeah, yeah. And in relationship, it's also not like one person's turn to receive and the other one should be getting depleted and waiting. This equal, reciprocal, gorgeous dance where both people are fully charged and committed to that for the other one. That is what I hope we all commit to, especially this holiday season. Heading into a new year, I'm going to receive so I can be more equipped to support in the people around me receiving as well. And it's a constant, just recalibration. Yeah, like, like the computer, you know, needs to buffer when we've gotten really depleted. It takes a long time to buffer. And if we're just on it, making sure we're paying attention to also receiving our own intuitive. Right. Internal guidance systems, messaging around, Whoa, whoa, whoa, going too fast.

Do we need food?

Do we need sleep? Do we need sex? Like, whatever. Let your body and your intuition guide you in receiving what it is that you need as well. You don't need to figure it all out. Receive divine guidance to, like, it's not all up to you. Oh, there's so much divine guidance. Yeah.

Oh, I think that's a great way to close it down. Above all, you know, receiving from humans is wonderful. But the most important receiving that we have to open our hearts to tap into is receiving from your divine power. Because that's where you get all the glory and all the blessings. And you have to have a heart and an ear to accept what's being given to you, what's being whispered into your heart, and that'll guide you to the most beautiful places.

Absolutely. And you know, when all else fails. We did an episode on miracles once, Leah and I, but I really do. I, like, pray for a miracle and divine guidance and I'll just ask like, okay, get me out of the way.

All the time. Right.

Course of Miracles talks about just like asking like, what would you have me see do be here, Learn, give, receive. You know, it's so much bigger than us, our capacity to love and lead and make a difference on the planet. We're not in it alone. And we do have intuition and we do have divine guidance, whatever that means to you. And there's no right way or wrong way to give or receive. But the more you're willing to receive the good stuff, the more you're willing and equipped to be a deliverer of the good stuff.

So good. My last and final statements are, if no human being on this earth gives you anything, know that your higher power, I call God. But whoever your higher power is has everything to give to you, everything you need. There's not one human that needs to provide now. It's, it may come through a human being, but your higher power, your God has it all for you. And all you have to do is open your heart for it, open your mind for it. And that is truly life changing. I pray that you receive from your higher power today.

Yeah. And if anyone here is wondering or stressed about their worthiness, what if it's just not a question anymore. What if, of course you're alive, you're breathing, you're here, you're worthy of all the goodness and what I want you to be thinking about instead of am I worthy of receiving? Am I going to do what it takes to give the best of me to the world because the world is worth receiving the best of you. Don't make it about am I worthy? Make it about is the world getting the best of me that they're worth getting out of me. You know, you are so worthy and we need you and we need you healed so you can make your difference. And Leah, it is such a joy as always to get this time with you and Leah, everybody, I mean Leah is allowed herself to receive a lot. She's a global brand. She has big, big names and businesses backing her and her, her mission. And she's doing it. She's, she's receiving so she can give. And Leah, how do people get in touch with you?

Yes, connect with me on www.valenciakey.com that's Valencia like the orange k e y.com or follow me on social media. Valencia Key designed and Leah Valencia Key just stay connected. It's always joy. If you want to know what you're going to get, you're going to get a bunch of love, you're going to get a bunch of light and you're going to get a bunch of joy. And that's my mission and commitment in life, period.

I love it. And I'm hearing one more thing just to wrap today. You know, what if everything that you experience is an opportunity to receive what you need to love more? You know, there's always an opportunity for more love and it starts with you. And if you receive, you know, life as threatening you or keeping you down or not, you know, giving you what you think you need, it's going to shut down your capacity to lead and love and give more. But what if there's always an opportunity, no matter what it is that's right here in front of you, to receive it as an opportunity to experience more love and be more love that, that absolutely could change your life if you let it. And I hope, I hope you let it. I hope you'll let yourself receive all of the opportunities for love and I hope you will let the world receive you giving as much love as you can because we need it and honor and appreciate you. Oh, Leah, I love you. Thank you so much for watching. The Hot Seat is brought to you every Tuesday, 10am Mountain wear. I influence. I influence, but I also interview influencers and I do free breakthrough coaching. So if you want some coaching, if you have a healing message you want to share with the world, let us know. And go to Rebecca sounds.com right now to download the new e book One Step to Healing. Your first One Step to Kick off the end of this year and begin 2022. Thanks everyone. Healing is possible and we love you. Thank you, Leah.