A short healing message (YouTube) about the personal and relational costs of rigidity. The speaker describes how rigidity—used as a control mechanism driven by fear—creates disconnection from self, others, and purpose, and offers vulnerability and connection as the antidote (a simple exercise: make eye contact and say “I'm scared”). The video also includes an apology for past rigidity and a promo for a weekly coaching session for parents and leaders.
Healing message. Today's healing message is about rigidity. You know, those who have known me for a long time have known the years and days and weeks and months where rigidity was a crutch for me, wanting to get it right, wanting a structure. I think for so many of us growing up without boundaries, without structure, without really knowing what it is that will provide us with a sense of security or certainty, use rigidity as a way to try to maintain control. At least that was true for me for a lot of years. And it's ineffective in leadership, it's ineffective in relationship, it's ineffective in productivity. I could go on and on and on, but I want us all today, on this Monday, to look at the cost of rigidity in our lives. We think it's providing us with a sense of certainty and security, but it's pushing people away. And I want you to really take in what I'm saying about rigidity creating more disconnection in your life with yourself, with others, with your mission, when right now, what we need more than anything else is connection. And where we need to start is connecting to ourselves and to our truth. And we can't do that when we're being rigid and attached to what we think should be happening. So what's been the cost of rigidity in your life? And we get rigid because of fear, and we get rigid because we're certain something's wrong or something's right. And what if life is just life? What if life is just being what it is and then we get to choose? What are we going to do with life, the way it's showing up with ourselves, the way we're showing up. I work with a lot of kids in my work with families, and it always astounds me when I meet a new child and I ask them if they know nothing's wrong with them. Their response 100% of the time I've asked a child, did you know nothing's wrong with you? When they first meet me, they start to cry as early as age 5. Nothing is wrong with them, especially not at 5. And what if nothing is wrong with you? And what if nothing is wrong with life? It just is what it is. And what if the be all, end all sure fire cure to that wondering, am I okay? Is more connection to yourself and to others. It's so much easier to disconnect and to get rigid than it is to connect. But connection is worth it, even when it feels. Especially when it feels like it's not worth it to connect. I want you to connect. And here's one way that you can do that. Just find someone, anyone, one person. When you want to be rigid and right and knowing what you think is wrong or thinking you know what needs to happen, find one person and I want you to make eye contact with them and I just want you to say two words, I'm scared. And I want you to watch the connection and feel into that connection and wait for and look for the miracles. Just make eye contact and just say the two words, I'm scared. And I promise you that connection and vulnerability will inevitably lead to miracles because you've just made space for them. And rigidity is all always sourcing from fear and it is always ineffective. And if you are watching this and if I was ever rigid with you, I am so sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I was scared. And we've all been there and we'll be there again. But let's just own it and connect and breathe in life and wait for the miracles because they are there when we let our guard down, get out of rigidity and connect. That's your Monday healing message. Tomorrow on Tuesday in the hot Seat. I've got a treat for you. If you're a parent with a teenager struggling with how to educate around addiction, substance abuse or just how to be there for your teen in the midst of COVID we've got an expert coming in that will guide us and lead us and give us new tools. 10:00am Mountain Every single Tuesday, I am in the hot seat with a leader or a volunteer doing breakthrough coaching. And if you want a spot in the hot seat in 2021, all you have to do is comment below or message me and we'll get you scheduled. We have plenty of availability heading into the second half of the year for you to get some free coaching, some free support. Breakthrough stuck. That's in the way of more love and life and connection for you. It's your right. I'll see you tomorrow in the hot seat. Thanks for tuning in. Rigidity isn't worth it. Connection is.
