Rebeccah Silence breaks down five core emotions in divorce—anger, fear, grief, joy, excitement—and how fight, flight, or freeze responses trap you into regretful behavior. She coaches hundreds of couples toward graceful divorces with healing and growth, not ugly ones.
Divorce is hard, no question. And wanting to hurt the other person as much as you're hurt right now, that's not the answer.
Someone that has been in your life and so intertwined with you, they know exactly what to say and what buttons to push to elicit an emotional response from you. How can we help people like take a deep breath and not react emotionally or reactionary.
I teach there's only 5 emotions: anger, fear, grief, joy, and excitement. You've got to process those emotions well. But when you go into fight, you're avoiding it. And when you go into flight, you're avoiding it. And when you go into freeze, you're avoiding it. You don't want to be a jerk and regret later how you showed up in this process. Every single one of us that goes into fight— oh no, you didn't— there's a part of every single one of us that goes into freeze and can feel like a victim to circumstances and just wants to shut down and be saved by anybody else and not have to be the responsible one. And there's a part of us that goes into flight that either tries to take over everybody else's life to avoid dealing with you or makes choices to escape that are really harmful, especially long-term, whether that's workaholicism or an affair or alcohol or drugs or whatever it might be. And I've coached hundreds upon hundreds of couples. They almost always end up after they work with me staying together. But even if they don't, it's a graceful divorce. It isn't an ugly divorce. And trauma has healed and they're closer to themselves and each other, even though they're not staying together. And that's possible. I want you to get support and you can DM me @RebeccahSilenceCPR and I'll give you my free emotional CPR masterclass helping you heal through your anger, heal through your grief, heal through your fear. Let it be safe to be joyful and excited again. And it could be the perfect next step. To give you your life back and for your family to have a shot at being a healed family. And I commend you for being brave and moving forward.
Free 5-Day Live Online Bootcamp for Mothers, August 24–28 4 PM EST. Replays available #shorts
