In a Mental Wellness Wednesday interview, radio host Big Papa (Speaker A) talks with love and emotional‑healing coach Rebeccah Silence about how people—especially women—can keep themselves safe in public and at home. Rebeccah frames safety through three inter‑related lenses: (1) generational trauma, explaining that most of us inherit unconscious safety habits (or lack thereof) from parents who themselves learned safety only from their own parents; (2) deservingness and self‑worth, arguing that low self‑value leads to poor boundary awareness and makes us vulnerable to predators; and (3) practical, concrete actions such as never leaving drinks unattended, staying with trusted companions, and reporting assaults. She shares her own traumatic history—six rapists, including a hotel manager who drugged her—to illustrate how deep healing (self‑love, body awareness, boundary work) can transform a victim into a person who is less likely to be targeted. Rebeccah emphasizes that safety is not just about external precautions but also about internal work: cultivating self‑respect, loving oneself unconditionally, and breaking the inter‑generational cycle of abuse. The conversation ends with a call to action to use available resources (theunsilentwoman.com, Instagram @rebeccahsilence, an Emotional CPR masterclass) and to report incidents, reinforcing that personal empowerment and community support are essential to ending patterns of abuse.
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Mix 102.5, Big Papa in the Morning. It is a Mental Wellness Wednesday. Welcoming the world's leading love and emotional healing coach, Rebeccah Silence. Rebeccah, good morning. How are you?
Well, you're so sweet to me. I love you all, and let's go.
This is something that you and I haven't really talked about, and I don't know if this technically falls under your umbrella or not. Um, there is a lot of talk about, uh, things happening out in public and, uh, you know, people getting stuff put in their drinks and, you know, things happening beyond that. What my question is, and what I wanted to ask is, how can, you know, whether it be a woman or a man, help keep themselves safe in public or safer in public?
I don't think we've ever talked about how do you keep yourself safe in 18+ years.
I got drugged.
Yeah, yeah, well, I've gotten drugged too. So, all right, this is in my wheelhouse in terms of 3 pieces, okay? What does it even mean to keep yourself safe? Because some of our beautiful listeners aren't safe in their own home. It isn't even just about in public, right? So in public and at home. And I get chills because this is a little bit of an icky, dark discussion, but a very, very, very important one, right? So what does it mean to keep yourself safe? So for most of us, let's just look at this from a generational trauma healing lens, okay? And I'm gonna get into the nitty-gritty, but it's really gonna matter. So if your parents never had parents that kept them safe, they didn't know how to keep themselves safe, which means they didn't know how to keep you safe. Okay, so we don't know how to keep ourselves safer than we feel like our parents kept us safe. And this is all unconscious, so this isn't me bashing our parents who did their best with the tools they had from their level of awareness. But let me just break this down again because we have never gone here and it's really powerful. So Your parents only know how to keep themselves as safe as their parents kept them safe. And they only know how to keep you safe growing up at the level that they're keeping themselves safe.
So that's the first thing. Because that's what they saw growing up and it's just, that's what they know.
But it's all unconscious, right? So this is why if I've got a client who was sexually abused, almost every single time they had a parent who was sexually abused because we don't have boundaries beyond the boundaries that were in our home and in our childhood growing up. But the second piece of this is just a deservingness piece, right? Like, and if I wasn't safe growing up, maybe there was physical violence, maybe there was emotional violence, maybe there was mental violence, maybe there was just an element of neglect and there was a parent that was just checked out and nobody was there for me. Whatever it was for you, that became very normal. And so it's easy to believe, I'm not worth showing up for, I'm not worth being cared for, right? Now, how do we take this into, like, the bar scene and somebody's drugging you? If I don't value myself and my worth, I don't pay that much attention to what I'm feeling, what I'm needing, what I'm wanting. And if I'm showing up at a bar and I'm somebody who doesn't value me being taken care of— I'm not the sun, moon, and stars in my life, everybody else is— there's an energy that people can feel. So it is never— I just went on primetime TV here in Denver and I talked about— I have had 6 different rapists. In my life. 6. I had never shared that publicly before until primetime TV a few weeks ago. Okay, I've had 6 different rapists, so I'm not messing around when I am having this conversation with you. I am someone who has learned how to treat myself with so much regard, so much care, and so much respect. And the last rapist was a manager of a hotel that slipped me some drugs and then broke into my room that night. So if— here, here's what happened. The whole, like, Rebeccah Silence healing as possible movement only came after that rape because I was like, how come he picked me and not my friends? Now, this isn't me blaming myself. I didn't deserve this. Whatever it's been for you or the person you love, you don't deserve it. They didn't deserve it. But I knew energetically this predator thought he could get away with it with me, and that it had to be the last time. And I had healing to do to be someone who was so in my body and loving and respecting myself that you wouldn't want to mess with me. Now, I can't control other people, but I can heal the part of me that's used to this level of BS. I can heal the part of me that's used to being terrified and scared and unsafe and having perpetrators perpetrate against me, and that's just normal for me. And that's the work I did, and that's the work that's available for all of you. So it is not your fault, but it is not the first time. It's never this one time at the bar you got drugged and you've never been victimized before. And I am just taking it here very directly and very controversially, and some of you might not like where I'm going, but I have to give you the power back in your own life. You are not powerless to abusers. You are not somebody who can be messed with when you are unshakably whole and love yourself well and really do respect yourself, and you did the work to break the pattern of abuse happens to me. You can be somebody who abuse used to happen to you because you don't abuse yourself, you don't neglect yourself, you don't devalue yourself. And then obviously, practically, have people with you. Don't leave your drink unattended, right? Like, but it really does come down to self-respect and self-love. And if, God forbid, something happened, report it. Don't be afraid to. I know locally there's some pretty amazing people being whistleblowers. Thank you. And that isn't easy. But the pattern only stops when you say enough. And there is always an opportunity for you to heal in the face of any hard, horrible thing.
She is the world's leading love and emotional healing coach, Rebeccah Silence. If you want to learn more online, theunsilentwoman.com. Rebeccah, thank you for being so open with us this week.
We definitely appreciate it. Of course. DM me @rebeccahsilence on Instagram CPR, and I will send you my Emotional CPR Masterclass that will superproof you and give you the strength to get real about where you need healing. Please DM me CPR @Rebeccah Silence, and I love you all.
