The Truth About the Power of Your Thoughts.

Have to believe everything you think. I'm sure that phrase isn't new to you, but how often are you actually believing everything you think or most of what you think, or taking action because of a thought, because of what you think? That comes with consequences. Actions have consequences. Thoughts don't until you take action. Let me just say that again. Actions have consequences. Thoughts don't until and unless you take action. I am Rebecca Silence, Emotional healing and relationship coach, creator of the Emotional Survival Kit course and author of Coming Back to Life. And this is the Healing is Possible experience. This show is meant to guide you on a journey of hope and healing. And today's episode I think is really important because no one is immune to thoughts. No one. Right? And we have thoughts from the second we can even remember right from the beginning of our memories, we have thoughts. And our memories we have thoughts about. Thoughts are present 100% of the time, just like emotions, but we focus more on the thoughts than the emotions. And I want us to just consider that our thoughts and our thinking is influencing our experience of life, likely more than we've realized or at least been paying attention to. So let's break it down. So. So I teach in the practice of emotional healing and in the Emotional Survival Kit and in my one on one work with clients that there's a difference between our thoughts, our beliefs, our feelings and our emotions. So let's just start there. So how, for the purposes of the practice of emotional healing, am I defining a thought? Here's how. A thought is just happening in our mind. It's that voice that we're hearing in our mind and it's neutral. This is the key. It doesn't mean anything. It's just a thought. So if I have a thought, man, I'd like to punch this person in the face. Doesn't mean anything again until and unless I take action. And if I'm not someone who identifies as violent but I have a thought like that, it could send me into a tail sprint, spin really fast, or if I have a thought that I really think, I want to cry right now. But a belief, a belief is what we identify as true and absolute and gospel. And we prove that belief right over and over again, sometimes without even meaning to, because we can only create evidence to support our beliefs. So thoughts just happening in our mind, it's neutral. A belief is unconscious or conscious expectation about how we think the world works and about how we see ourselves in the world. So beliefs are a little bit trickier because once we identify a belief, we can Challenge it and we can decide whether or not we want to change our mind for many, many years. For example, my coaching practice was mostly women because I didn't believe that men were inherently good for a long time. I believe basically if you were a dude, you were abusive, there were women that you had abused. And that was my belief system. And that's a problem when I love and care about humanity as much as I do and when I have a mission and a life purpose to coach people to experience their greatness and get the most out of their lives, but then see men as bad, see men as not caring enough about women. And this was 15 years ago. But the point is, you know, catch beliefs. I believe that I am not good enough. I believe that I'm too much. I believe that I'm never going to be worthy of love or a relationship or money or whatever it is. So again, thoughts are really neutral beliefs. They have a charge and we prove them right. And we have an experience of life based on what we believe is possible. So my big message as healing is possible. Healing is possible for me, for you, for all of us. That's a belief that I have. And then there are lots of thoughts that happen on a day to day basis, moment to moment, all the time. But my beliefs carry me into the future and experience of my life that I want or they're going to keep me in self inflicted hell. It's one or the other. Now feelings are even trickier because our feelings, we're taught to feel especially right. We're talking about emotional healing. Feelings, feel, you got to feel to heal is said a lot in therapy and personal growth. But what we want is to get through our thoughts, our beliefs and our feelings about what's happening so that we can get to the emotion that we need to feel our way through. So a feeling about what's happening, we learned it, we expect it. We believe that how we feel about a situation is because of the situation. If we're hurt in a relationship, it's easy to feel like the person did something or should have done something different. But what I'm here to suggest is all the thoughts, the beliefs and the feelings, our access to the emotions that we really need to feel underneath it all, then today specifically we are going to focus on thoughts. But I wanted to break down that we have thoughts, we have beliefs, we have feelings, and then we have emotions that we need to feel for the purposes of emotional healing. I only work with five. I work with anger, grief, fear, joy and excitement. Sometimes the emotion I need to feel is excitement. This morning at 5:30 in the morning, I was doing yoga with Chelsea Jackson Jackson Roberts from Peloton and she's my favorite yoga instructor on Peloton. And I was really sitting with what's the emotion right now that wants to be expressed more? And it was excitement. Let yourself be excited about your day, your life, your week, this moment. And I think we think thoughts are real and we can confuse our thoughts with a belief or a feeling. And I just want this to be simpler. If you are experiencing anxiety or depression, what would happen if you pressed pause and just focused on what am I thinking? Because chances are the thoughts you're having, you're believing, buying into and taking action on. And that's only exacerbating the anxiety or the experience of depression. And if you're hopeless at all, I don't care how high functioning you are, how successful you appear or have become when it comes to results and accomplishments. If you're not feeling free, let's look at what are you thinking, what are you believing? What are you feeling about what's happening and what emotions underneath all that are desperately wanting to be expressed. And when I say desperately wanting to be expressed in a way that doesn't harm anyone, in a way where you're self responsible, I can be with my anger and not take it out on anybody. Same with grief, same with fear, same with joy, same with excitement. And real freedom I think is emotional freedom. But if we're not neutral and free around which thoughts we buy into and believe and take action on, the rest just gets messier and messier and messier. So what are you thinking? We ask each other that a lot. What are you thinking about? And did you ever notice how the thought just kind of pops up? That's because it's not your fault, right? We have random thoughts all the time. And then when our thoughts aren't scary, we can pick and choose which thoughts we want to take action around. And we can pick and choose which thoughts we want to believe. It's summer. I had skin cancer, really aggressive skin cancer. Since the season of sunscreen. Really thought I should be wearing sunscreen all the time no matter what season it is. I had melanoma. For me, that's a thought worth following, taking action on and buying into and believing in. I'm not going to get to enjoy the sun or the summer and I have to stay stuck inside because what if I get a sunburn? Those thoughts not that interesting. I'm not going to be cheated out of my life because of a diagnosis, but certainly not because of a thought. You are worthy of picking and choosing the thoughts that take care of and honor and respect you. But have you ever thought about that? The thoughts that honor and respect you, I think, are the thoughts to pay attention to and to turn the volume up on the thoughts that feel dishonoring or that have you scared or panicked or just going into a downward spiral. You can press pause on those thoughts and not do anything about them. And likely it's somebody else that told you that and now the tape is playing on repeat in your head. It's not even what you think. Or it could just literally be completely random. Thoughts are random. And then when you're being intentional, you can have thoughts that get you closer to what you're wanting. But when you're just following every thought that pops up and running around like a chicken with your head cut off in your mind, trying to keep up with these thoughts and trying to prove some sense of self worth in the face of thoughts that feel bad, you're not getting very far in the results and in the life that you're wanting to build for yourself. So the practice of emotional healing is about the experience you're having of your life. And I'm wanting us, regardless of circumstance and especially regardless of thoughts, to be the difference maker in our life that's creating the experience that we want to be having. So today I'm just going to challenge, you know, that there's a difference between your thoughts, beliefs, feelings about what's happening and the emotions that you actually need to feel if you want to get the most out of the experience of your life while you still are here. And just know, just because I have a thought that maybe my bank account is in a bad place and I'm a total screw up because I let it get to this point or just because I have a thought that I can't stand my spouse anymore. So maybe I should end it all. Maybe it's not time to take action until the thought feels honoring and respectful of who you are and the life you want. And we're so capable of doing anything we want with any thought we have. And in my experience, and in my opinion, a lot of our thoughts should just get tossed. What would it be like to think about how you want to feel in your life, in this moment, in this body that you have right now, the way it is now, in this life right now, the way it is now? What if you could feel how you want to feel right now, no matter what I Believe those thoughts when I have them, that I can feel how I want to feel no matter what. And then the feeling I'm having is one of freedom. And then the emotion I get to feel excitement, enjoy. And I do believe we are meant to have a joyful experience of life. And if you have thoughts going on that aren't joyful, challenge them. What else could be true? Just ask yourself that. If this thought has me feel like shit, what else could be true? What else could I think about this? There's nothing to do right now about whatever you're worried about. That's a thought that you could replace a stressful thought with. But the point is you're not meant to be stressed. So when you have stressful thoughts, don't give them energy and power. And then, no, I'm not preaching positivity. It's funny because my blood type is actually B positive, but I am not that positive. Especially the more I settle into being who I want to be and feeling how I want to feel. I'm not that positive at all. I am willing to, to confront any thought, belief, or feeling that doesn't feel good. So I can get to the place where I feel free and I'm willing to be with whatever emotion I am meant to feel in that moment. So I'm saying a lot, but let me just break it down super, super simple. It isn't about trying to be positive or affirm your way to the life you want. That won't, that won't get you feeling better. In the more you feel the way you want to feel and feel free, the more opportunities and possibilities come your way because you're more attractive. But the point is positivity. That's not it. Conversations about mindset and strategy, that's not it either. Instead, no, there's always possibility. It's not about positivity. It's about possibility. And if I find myself in a state of thinking thoughts that are taking me down, I can slam on the brakes and I can think about, well, what else is possible here? What else? Right there, that's a thought. What else is possible? With a belief that possibility is available. And I'm supposed to feel free and good about my life, about who I am in this lifetime, you get to feel better. That's what I want you to take away from today. And challenging your thoughts is a step in the right direction. Direction. It really is. And your thoughts are either going in the right direction for you in the life you want or the wrong one. And I'm yes, using Those words right and wrong. Because when you're thinking in the right direction for you, you've got momentum, you have hope, you're excited about your life and hopefully experiencing joy as the rule versus the exception. When your thoughts are taking you in the wrong direction, you know it because you're stressed, you're suffering, you're stuck. Challenge your thoughts. And I don't care what people have said about you or told you that your worth is or told you that your limitations are. You don't have to believe that person's opinion or words. That's just how they feel about them. And you certainly don't have to talk to yourself the way that you were spoken to. That was hurtful or is hurtful. Challenge your thoughts and take your life back. Thoughts don't mean anything. You get to decide what thoughts you put action behind. And I'm asking you to only put action behind thoughts that have you feel good about yourself, good about your life, and that are honoring and respectful of you and the life you're wanting to have and build and create for yourself. And it can all start right now. Just notice, what are you thinking? How often are you even paying attention to your thoughts? And how often are you taking action because of a thought that you weren't even conscious of? It was just a thought. And then know your thoughts give you access to what you believe to be true. And you only prove right what you believe to be true. So if a belief is taking you in the wrong direction, challenge it. Work with a coach. Get in touch with me. Find some way to challenge the beliefs that aren't serving you anymore. And then notice when you're having a feeling about what's happening outside of you so that you can get to the emotion inside of you. That's the gateway to your freedom. That's the gateway to your joy. Because that's what you're meant to experience. Joy. Your thoughts don't have to have power over you and your external factors and circumstances, whether it's now or in the past. They don't get to have power over you either, unless you think they do. Thank you so much for being here today. I think it is an important conversation. Summer is here and it is time to think about how you want to live, who you want to be and how you want to feel. That is the beginning of you making that happen for yourself. I had a conversation with a former client last week that is celebrating this summer with his family buying a new house. And just a year ago he was living in a different home he was in trouble with the law and he was convinced he'd lost his whole family. Now they're together, they're buying a house and they're doing great. Why? Because he had the thought that maybe it'd be a good idea to believe that healing was possible and didn't want to feel the way he was feeling. So he created a new experience. Then I had another client I spoke with this morning about a recent experience with her family at a big family event after a divorce. Kids are grown, she was with her ex husband and they had a beautiful experience and and she was willing to be with the grief of what was while she was experiencing the joy of them coming together so beautifully. Pay attention to the thoughts that take you into the direction of miracles so you can experience miracles. I'm Rebecca Silence this is the Healing is Possible experience brought to you by my beautiful team@rebeccasilence.com we'd love to hear from you. If you haven't already checked out the new course, the Emotional Survival Kit. I know what you are waiting for. It is epic. It is my seven parts to healing to give you the tools to become your own healer in the face of anything, trauma, anxiety, depression, stuck of any kind. This is a roadmap to give you the tools that you need before things feel worse or God forbid, a crisis happens. Emotional healing is possible. You deserve to be free. I love you so much. Thank you for tuning in. And do yourself a favor and start paying attention to your thoughts and follow the ones that serve you and let the rest go. Blow them kisses, let them.