This Is Why There Is Nothing More Amazing than a Fully Expressed Woman.

Amazing than a fully expressed woman, in my opinion. Welcome to the Healing is Possible experience. I am your host, Rebecca Silence, and this show is here to take you on a journey of hope and healing, specifically emotional healing. Healing is possible. And emotional healing, in my experience, is what actually gets us healed. We can never control circumstances, we can never control the external factors that haunt us or that are happening right here, right now in our lives. But we can always get to a place where we're emotionally free and clear and fulfilled and the best of ourselves. And that is what I teach with the practice of emotional healing and that is what we deliver to you on this show. The Healing is Possible experience. The show is brought to you by rebeccasilence.com and my team. And today it is Women's History Month. It is a time in history where we need women leading, loving themselves, caring and giving the best of themselves to every life they come in contact with more than ever before. And I want to talk first about my journey from being the definition of a victim on every single level to me now and then we're going to just really talk about self love today because without self love, we're no good for people if we don't love ourselves. We're basically walking around all clogged up and issued up and funky, needing the world to validate us, needing the world to fill our cup, needing the world to love us so that we know we are lovable. And it is just a whole different friggin ball game when you have the ability to fill up your own love tank and you don't need it from the outside world. One of my favorite books, the Mastery of Love, I think breaks this down beautifully. So in the book the Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz and if you've heard of the four Agreements, it's the same author. It's just for some reason this book I don't think gets nearly enough play. It's magnificent. It is so worth your time. Go buy it, go read it. It's epic. But there's a part of this book, the Mastery of Love, where he talks about how, you know, basically, what if everyone has a magical kitchen and what if you had in your magical kitchen all of the drink, food, nutrition, nutrients, all of your, all of your favorites available to you 24 7. And then someone comes knocking on the door and they says hey. They say, hey, I'll give you pizza if you love me. I'll give you pizza for the rest of your life if you'll just love me. Here, do you want my pizza? And I remember, I remember reading this book right after my divorce in the very beginning stages of me coming into myself and becoming a coach and someone that wanted more than a life of feeling like a victim 24. 7. Being a victim 24. 7 and being needy for the world to take care of and validate me and be the rescue that I thought I needed because I wasn't holding myself capable at all yet, right? And this analogy was just so good to me. Looking at like, I have a magical kitchen in me. I have everything I need to be free, fulfilled, my best self expressed, leading my life the way I want to, taking care of me, knowing that I'm only always going to be taken care of no matter what happens, no matter what the world does. Like I have that all in me. And I don't need someone to knock on my door and offer me pizza or whatever they've got so that I can feel how I want to feel. Like I can say no to the pizza and dance over here in my magical kitchen and choose people to be with and break bread with and, you know, grow with and learn from and love and relate to just because I want to, not because they're supposed to provide me with the love that I've been longing for and seeking and missing. What a concept. What a concept. So, you know, I went from basically hating myself to today. I mean, I can just say this with, with absolute certainty. I trust myself more than maybe I trust anything at this point in my life. And I couldn't trust myself if I didn't love myself. The problem is I had to go through a domestic violence marriage. I had to go through breaking up with being bulimic. I had to go bankrupt emotionally and physically and mentally and spiritually, but literally financially as well and work three jobs as a single mom with a two year old and crawl my way up. And while I was doing that, I still hated myself. And I had all of the reasons why, all of the reasons why I was too much. I was not enough. I was carrying so much shame and so many secrets and so much just self loathing. And ironically, you know, at the time that I hated myself the most on the inside, how I looked on the outside, I mean, it was so incongruent. I was fit, I was running marathons, I was a size 0, size 2. And I just, I couldn't get the external where I needed it to be for me to love myself. And I just kept trying. I just kept trying. Maybe if I look good enough, maybe if I have enough money, maybe If I have the right job, maybe if I have the right status. I mean, it really took until cancer for me to finally understand. And the external is not where it's at. Focusing on the external, it just creates more of an internal hell. And I don't want it to be as hard for women especially and particularly as it was for me. I don't want it to be as hard for any person. But right now, during Women's History Month, I'm specifically focusing on women because we are absolutely in an epidemic of self loathing and managing our way through our lives in spite of our shame, secrets, pasts, traumas, wounds. And it is a disservice that we are doing to humanity. I will never forget. I had already gotten a master's in counseling and began work with my first coach. Her name was Carol Reynolds, right after my divorce. And I will never forget being in a seminar in a room with at least 40 or 45 people. And I was her primary support for this event. And that just meant inviting people to the seminar, making sure we had the drinks and snacks and the location and the room set up. And I was just in charge of kind of those details that were really important. But I was just seeing myself kind of as the wallflower. This was not my show. I was just so excited that there was a woman leader on the planet that was helping people heal their broken hearts so they could love more. That was all Carol's work was about. Heal your broken heart so you can love more. And this one day, I had put together this event with her for her. And we got all these people there and all of a sudden, in front of everyone, she looks at me and she says, rebecca, silence. You're a leader who's not leading and you're cheating the planet. Which is very dramatic, brilliant, amazing. Thank you, Carol. But I could not fathom what was happening. All these people here and she's telling me I'm a leader who's not leading and I'm cheating the planet. And I at first thought you must be talking about somebody else. Like, I am a shit show. I am not a leader. Like, I have no ability to lead, Capacity to lead, credibility to, like, who would follow me. I am a mess. I'm going to do this seminar and go home and eat something and puke it up and probably get drunk and, you know, cry myself to sleep. Like, that was me back then. So she's saying this to me and I, I couldn't get it really, probably for a few years after. But it was the beginning of this seed of possibility being planted in me, that there was more and better of me to give to people. Right. And I just want to suggest, no matter how successful you are, no matter how much you think you care about people, there's still more of you to give and be for the people in your life right now and for the world. We're literally in a state of global war in ourselves and with each other and with Russia and Ukraine. And at what point are we going to wake up and care enough to be a part of the solution and women we need to be? I'm going to look at you and I'm going to say, potentially, you're a leader who's not leading, or you're a leader who could lead more. And I think more than ever, we need you healed and leading, making your particular, unique and special difference in the world. And, you know, I can't. Carol has since passed. I can't thank her enough for being so ruthless with me. And then I have another woman leader that changed my life and mentored me more than anybody else ever has, Heather Steele. She'll be on the show pretty soon, in a few weeks, and you'll get to meet her and experience her, if you haven't already. But she's another one that would just kick my ass publicly because she was like you. You have so much to give, and I'm not going to let you off the hook. I'm not going to let you be less of the leader that you actually are. On my watch, I'm so grateful for the training I got from Heather. Carol basically was like, you're a leader. Heather helped me and trained me into becoming this leader that I am today. And I'm just wanting to acknowledge how, you know, you might think just a moment in time with someone is insignificant, but if you're your best, if you're caring about them, if you're saying the loving and sometimes hard truths to them about what you see and how you experience them and what you want for them, you never know how far and wide that ripple is going. I get messages every single day from people letting me know how something I said or something I did changed their lives. And most of the time, I don't even remember it. I was just being with them in a moment. And the thing is, we can't be with people in a moment if we're not able to be with ourselves in all moments, in all flavors and seasons of ourselves in our lives. And particularly, I think that it's easier to beat ourselves up than it is to feel our emotional experience that we're having as we are literally that Phoenix version of ourselves rising from the ashes. And, you know, I'm not saying you have to have had really sticky, terrible, painful trauma to have emotional work to do. I'm saying we all have emotional work to do, especially as we're risking and putting ourselves out there. Another beautiful woman leader that I have so much respect for is Brene Brown. She's literally. She's literally teaching us that there is more to life than our shame. What important life work that she's doing. There is so much more to life than our shame. But we double down on our shame and our guilt and our secrets and our pain. Why? Because we don't think we can survive dealing with it. I do think that that's actually the reason why, and we can survive dealing with it by feeling our way through it. I didn't want to feel the experience that I had when Carol called me out in front of everybody. I will tell you right now, the decade worth of training with Heather Steele. Most of the time I didn't want to feel that, but I could not be more grateful. I didn't want to feel the fear, the anxiety, the depression, the anger, the sadness. I didn't want to feel any of the dark emotions that were running through my veins 24, 7 when I was literally dying of cancer. 5, 10% chance to live. For those of you that don't know the story, I got diagnosed with cancer at 34 years old while I was 7 months pregnant with my second baby. I did not look good. I was told to plan my will. I was told it was over. One over. I was a woman who led my healing journey through cancer, and it got me here. And whatever you're facing, whatever you're not wanting to feel, I just want you to understand you are stronger, you are more powerful than that thing outside of you. But for some reason, we are trained to believe that all this outside of us is somehow stronger than us. Something somebody said, something somebody did or didn't do, something somebody didn't say. A diagnosis, a symptom, physical pain, your parents, divorce, a trauma that happened in your childhood. We've got to stop living in spite of the external and start living internally aligned and loving the shit out of ourselves. If we're going to be a light and a force of healing for people and for the world, and I think if you're. If you're here with me, you are a light and you are a force of healing for the world and I like to say the darkness is real, but so is the light. And when I'm saying that, I'm talking about the light in you is always going to be more powerful than the darkness in you. And the darkness in you does not benefit from you being shame based about it, Own it. I mean, I get. I'm all dark today. I wear black all time. I'm not afraid of the dark. It took so many traumas for me to get to the place where I'm not afraid of the dark. But I don't think it has to take crisis and trauma to get to the point where we're not afraid of the dark in ourselves, in the world. And we're just standing in a commitment to being the light we are. I'm not talking about toxic positivity. I'm talking about being examples of possibility. We can always do that and we always are doing that. You know, we're always leading in the possibilities that we're living and people are watching. And it doesn't have to get worse before it gets better. It doesn't have to get to crisis level before we'll show up to the party called our lives or show up to be our best for other people. You know, and I. Every day I'm hearing someone else's story about how much they're hurting and struggling right now after a pandemic that ripped the carpet out from under us. I mean, literally the bottom has fallen out of the lives we've had and how we've been living. And we're all picking up the pieces, but we can do that. This book, the Mastery of Love From a Place of Knowing. We are the source of our happ. We are the source of our strength. We are the source of light and love and possibility that we are longing for and seeking and needing. No one can give it to us. You know, you can have a moment with someone that plants that seed, but then you are going to have to be taking that ball and running with it. No one can do it for you. And I just think that is good news. And I think we get to be who we want to be and we get to feel how we want to feel. And we can't do that if we're not loving ourselves. And we certainly can't do that for others if we're not loving ourselves. So I absolutely believe, and I've done. I don't even. I can't even count anymore. A couple dozen at least women's retreats at this point. And we're going to be in June of 2022, offering our first all gender Healing as possible retreat weekend. But up until now, I've only facilitated women's retreats. I coach a ton of men, I coach all genders and couples and families. But the retreats have just been women so far. And I've just wanted women to connect to the best of themselves and to the best of each other and to support each other and to love themselves and to love each other. And that's why I've done, you know, these retreats all these years just for women. And I, beyond a shadow of a doubt, believe with all my heart there is nothing more amazing than a fully expressed woman in her power and in her glory. And that isn't force or control or manipulation. That's just her, in her essence, in her feminine. It's gorgeous to see and to witness and, and it's an honor to, to see and to witness. But every women's retreat I've ever done, they come in sizing each other up. They come in with their suitcase of secrets, shame, fear, insecurities, and we open up Pandora's box and we let go as much as we can. But every single time, we have a 100% success rate. @ the end of every single women's retreat, they feel differently about themselves, they feel differently about being a woman, and they feel differently about the women that they just spent three days with. It is magnificent to watch. And again, my journey required a lot of unnecessary, I think, heartbreak and self abuse and self loathing to get me to the point where I just made a decision that enough was enough. And at the time, you know, I didn't even, if I'm honest, I didn't even do it for me. I did it for my oldest daughter that was watching me because I wanted to be a woman and an example that showed her what was possible for her. I didn't want her to end up crying herself to sleep every night, hating herself, wondering why this crisis and that crisis was happening. I didn't want her to be anything but in love with herself and her life and proud of who she was. And I knew that I had a lot of work to do if I was going to model that as a possibility for her. And we have our parents that did their best and mostly did a version of what they learned was possible for them based on their upbringing. And I am just here to say, especially to the women and to those that love and honor us, that you get to write the script. Now. I get it was what it was. It is what it is now. But how are you going to move forward? Who are you going to be? That is my big question for you today. Who are you going to be now? And that is different than who am I going to be in spite of what occurred? Who are you going to be using what occurred as rocket fuel for your next level? Who are you going to be deciding? We don't. I say this all the time, but we don't just wake up one day and know who we are and wake up one day and have found ourselves at this point, we get to choose. And don't you dare think that what you have to say or what you care about or your unique gifts and talents aren't needed or special. The world does in fact need you healed so that you can make your difference. We got a lot of wounded leaders out there hoping that if the following validates them, they'll know they're good enough. And thank you for leading. I'm not criticizing that. I'm just saying if and when we need that external validation or the external to be different than it was or is, we can't lead as effectively as we could if we know how to internally do what I just call breathe in a line. Breathe in a line. Breathe in a line. Regardless of all this out here, all this out here is what it is. I couldn't stop the cancer cells from being in my body, spreading in my body, but I could get emotionally cancer free. But it means we've got to stop leaning on our vices, we've got to stop dumbing it down, we've got to stop hating ourselves or any part of our lives. And if you've got regrets, let's tackle those. And if you've got shame, let's tackle that. Because again, it's not the external causing you to feel that way, it's the external helping you see you still got healing to do. This is so important what I'm saying. It's never ever, never, never, never a situation or another person that is causing your suffering. They're helping you see what's already going on here. And it's good news to get to the point where you get to see what already is going on here because then you get to do something. And how you get to do something about it is based on who you choose to be. So who are you going to be now? And I want to talk about self love a little bit more here because I just think it is everything. It is everything. If you are avoiding mirrors, if you are avoiding being reminded of choices, you have Made your past in any way, shape or form. If you are living in a way where even 2% of how you're living is you. Retreating, avoiding, waiting, hesitating. Come on, let's wake up and live here. It is time. So I want you to think about, and this is a great journal question to write down and to just see what comes out. What's the cost of you not loving yourself fully? What's the cost? The cost for me was a lot of just unnecessary self abuse and heartbreak and just feeling terrible about myself and my life for decades. At the time I got diagnosed with cancer, I was still trying to prove myself. I still, as much as I understood that the external is what it is, I really didn't get it. I still needed the external to somehow validate me. I needed people to like me, I needed people to want to work with me. I needed so much validation that I didn't even realize, you know, and, and that kills your spirit. So what's the cost of not loving yourself enough? And what, what number would you give yourself? Like 1 to 10, 10 being the most, 1 being the least? What number would you give yourself around how much you're loving yourself? This is a you with you question. Let's be honest. And what's the benefit of not being at a 10, not facing yourself as you are until you can get to a place where you face yourself and you're proud of what you see. Because what I know is I don't care what happened, you can get to that place. But it's a decision, it's a commitment, it's an intention that you deliver on. And then the next thing I want to talk about is just what does self love mean to you? And this is a great question also to journal about. And I think you know, there's no right way to live your life. There's no wrong way to live your life. There's no right way to heal, there's no wrong way to heal. And there's no right way to do self love or wrong way to do self love. There's just what works for you. So when I'm talking about self love, I'm just talking about, about honor and respect and grace. You know, I know I'm loving myself when I'm honoring myself. I'm respecting myself and I'm giving myself grace. You know, I am human. I make so many mistakes. I just try not to make them again. And if you beat yourself up because a mistake was made, you are going to make it again because you didn't get the healing, the breakthrough, you didn't see the opportunity, the learning that you could have based on the mistake. I make mistakes all the time. I just try not to repeat them. I do my best. And a lot of the times I really do get through the lesson there and then, yes, it's on to the next one. But I don't like to have the same fight with my husband. I like to have the fight be done with it, and then we'll have the next one and be done with it. Same with with mistakes. So, you know, I honor and respect and grace my way into self love. What are your three words? Or what's your process? Or what would you like it to be like? You might be going, rebecca, I don't even know where to start. Okay, you're starting just by being here with me now, Just by watching this episode of the Healing is possible experience. You are loving yourself. So what is it for you? And it is going to evolve. You know, right now, the season I am in, I have a green drink every morning. I move my body every morning. A lot of you have heard me talk about my bathtub. Like, as silly as it might sound, I've got a goddess altar on my bathtub with statues and crystals and candles and plants. And I am in that bathtub every single day, just about. And I clear my energy and I honor my body and I feel my body and I get really present. It's an act of self love. And I want you to eat in a way where you're loving yourself. And I want you to have sex in a way where you're loving yourself. And I want you to move in a way where you're loving yourself and dress in a way where you're loving yourself and do that all your way. I'm not saying here's what to eat, here's how to move, here's what to do. I'm saying just find those answers for yourself. They are there, I promise you. And you can trial and error your way into like the 10 out of 10 ways that you know you are going to love yourself. And for me, whatever happens in a day, I had my green drink, I moved my body, I cleansed myself. Most of the time it is in the bathtub. And like, those are three victories right there. Right there. And there is like in A Course in Miracles, it says there is no bigger or smaller miracle. Miracle is a miracle. There is no bigger or smaller way to to love yourself. There's just loving yourself a new way in 2022 that I'm practicing self love is through a new, a new commitment to fun. I am having so much fun with myself, with people. And it took decades to get to the point where, oh my gosh, if I get a day all to myself, just me with me, what a blessing. I love my company now. I love being in my own company, in my body, in my skin, how it is. And I have a whole different body than I used to have. Post cancer chemotherapy, 12 surgeries, postpartum body. I literally had a baby and was stuck in bed for nine straight months, surgery after surgery, and I went into premenopause and adrenal failure and all my hormones are whacked. I have a different body now. And that was devastating and embarrassing and I had a lot of shame around that and a lot of fear around that for a long time. And I'll tell you this story because I think it's relevant. I mean real fork in the road moment around am I going to go in the in the direction of self deprecation or am I going to go in the direction of self love? I remember saying to Heather, my coach at the time, Heather Steele, that I talked about earlier, like, I'm not sexy. I'm. Mark's not going to want to have sex with me. I'm in a bed with drains coming out of me because of all of the surgeries where they took my lymph nodes. I am in this postpartum body cut open like a Thanksgiving turkey. And oh my gosh, so many open wounds, so many drains, so much physical pain. And I'm worried about he's not going to want me. What's going to happen? I'm. I'm like in my worst nightmare. And I remember Heather saying to me, your job is to live, not to be sexy. Thank you. And that was such a wake up call. And I had dinner with Mark. We do a date. Every single Tuesday night, Mark and I do a date and we take turns planning it and it's so much fun. Tuesdays are really fun days. I do the healing as possible experience. And then Tuesday night is a date night with Mark. And we were on a date. Just I think it was last week or the week. I guess it was the week before. Last week we went to Hamilton, which was a blast. Incredible, incredible. Incredible to see that show live. But it was the week before, so we were on a date and we went to this little restaurant in Boulder, Colorado that we love. And then we went to the bookstore nearby. I have a book coming out in October. Pre sales will Be happening soon. The book is called Coming Back to Life. And that week I was working with the publisher on the COVID And so we went to dinner, and then we went to the bookstore. Just a little field trip to kind of look at covers and check things out. And we were sitting at a table drinking espresso, and I just said to him, I don't want anything to change us and what we have right now. It's so. It's so fun, and it's so beautiful. And Mark is doing more traveling. I am doing more traveling. Our careers are careers that we're both really, really proud of. And I just vulnerably shared with him in a moment. I am nervous. I don't want anything to change this. And he's got big blue eyes, too. And he just looked at me with those big blue eyes, and he said, rebecca, we got through you dying of cancer and chemotherapy together. How is any. Anything going to tear us apart if that didn't? And I think back to the moments when I was worried about being sexy enough, you know, and. And really what that was, wasn't me worrying about, am I sexy? It was me worrying about, is he going to stay? Because that was me at my worst. Losing my hair, losing my right leg. I had droplet in my leg because of the side effects to chemo. My body wasn't mine. My life didn't feel like mine. And because of that, I decided cancer would be the ultimate seminar for me in this lifetime. I'd done hundreds of seminars, masters in counseling, life coach certification from Legacy Training International. I'd done all these things, facilitation training, through that school as well. Now, the way I had been identifying as a business owner, my body, a certain way, certain amount of money in the bank account, being a mom, like all these things, I couldn't even hold my newborn baby because they did so many surgeries on my arm. The cancer I had was melanoma. I couldn't think the way I wanted to. We call it my cancer coma. There were so many days and weeks and months that I won't ever remember because I wasn't here, but where I went was in here. And again, I don't want it to take a crisis for us to get willing to go in here and meet ourselves where we are and love ourselves where we are, and design our lives from that point forward the way we want to. Caring about people, wanting to give our best for people and not just the ones we think we'd, you know, that deserve it, but the people in front of us, right? Like be your best, not just for those you think deserve it. Be your best and you know, and start from here. Don't wait for some wake up call crisis or devastation. And then you'll start going inside and facing and meeting yourself and loving yourself so you can live. Like, let's just start today, you know, And I, I just so appreciated what Mark was saying to me on our date. That there's nothing if we stay committed and our best and love ourselves enough, we can love each other through anything. But it does start with loving ourselves enough. That's how you can love another person through anything. It starts by loving yourself enough. So what does self love mean to you? And what's one way you're gonna take your self love to the next level? After watching this episode, I want to hear from you in the comments. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please let us know. That's one way to bring it to life. Just saying it out loud, being accountable, writing it in the comments. Okay? And I want you to imagine we're going to do a little self love meditation. Now close your eyes if you feel comfortable. And I just want you to breathe in self love and breathe out self loathing. Let's just keep going there. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Keep going. Breathing in self love, breathing out self loathing. Because if you're not loving yourself, you're loathing yourself. It's one or the other. It is that simple. And we need to pay way more attention. So keep breathing. And now imagine what life would feel like if the volume was turned all the way up on how much you love yourself. What would that feel like? How does it feel in your body? How does it feel in your mind? How does it feel in your spirit? And now see yourself as a version of you that loves yourself fully, unconditionally, unwavering in how much you love yourself. Everything does better when it's loved well, plants, children, animals, people of all ages. You will do better when you love yourself more and when you love yourself well. And now I want you to see that version of you that loves themselves well in front of you. And this is for all genders, not just women. And I want you to step into that version of you now and feel that and take that in and feel you connecting with and aligning with this highest version of you that loves themselves. Dance around a little integrated you with you. And now I just want you to recognize that this is already you. You've just been disconnected from this version of yourself. This is already you, this isn't new, a new version of you. This is you already. It's already in you to feel this way, to be this way, to step into this version of yourself and let this version of yourself lead. The you that loves yourself, the you that is committed to self love, whether you feel like it or not, you're committed to self love. You're in. The question is this loving me? If I choose xyz, everything is a choice. And it's either a choice that has you loving yourself or not. It's all a choice. And only you can know. This is the most important piece of our meditation. I just want you to close your eyes and I want you to think about all the ways you could be loving yourself more and see, see these possibilities in front of you and know that there's nothing off the table. I mean, obviously harming another person is not loving, right? Other than that, I mean, it's all on the table. Maybe eating a piece of chocolate is self love to you and to someone else, that would be self hate because it would be reinforcing shame. Only you can know how you're loving yourself. Only you can be honest with yourself about how you're living and how you're loving yourself and what's actually loving for you. And I just want you to breathe in self love and now breathe that out as well. I just want you to embody a commitment to self love with me because it's your right. And I don't care what you've done, you deserve to love yourself. Every choice you ever made, there was a good reason why you made it. Meaning there was trauma, there were unmet needs, there was emotional pain. And we can just do better now. And if you're here, it's because on some level you want to do better. So let's just do better. And it starts with self love. And for the women this is critical. For all of us it's critical. But especially for women. We're too important in our roles in our relationships to not be loving ourselves and modeling that as a possibility. And the more we love ourselves, the better we are for every life we touch. And our ripple is, it's enormous, it's, it's extraordinary. So let's take some more responsibility for is our ripple being sourced from self love so we can love? Or is our ripple being sourced by fear and self loathing, which just puts more of that out into the world. My book, it's called Coming back to life. When you're ready, open your eyes and come back. The book is about coming back to life. And the original title of the book was I'm not too fat unless I look in the mirror. And I was talking to one of the healers that I work with and he said, you can't call it I'm not too fat. And I was like, well, why not? And he's like, well, you can do whatever you want, but that's just putting more of that fear around being too fat out into the world. You can sell a bunch of books, but you're just promoting this fear and future pacing this fear around being too fat. And I decided I wasn't going to call it that once he said it that way. And that's another moment of, you know, using life, using what people say, using circumstances as a way to grow, using it all to your advantage. I was so glad he said that. And now the book is coming back to life. A roadmap to healing, to live the life you want. Very proud of it. Right? Because what I know is regardless of the external, we can come back to life. We can come back to ourselves and fully live. And that's what I want for you and for all of us. So we can up our leadership game. And that is our only job. It is not to be how we think we need to be so we can get approval or love or validation or prove something or whatever it is. It's to know we showed up because we have enough time until we don't. So how are you treating you? How are you honoring you? How are you living now and where do we need to course correct? Let's get honest about that and get support. This isn't work to do by yourself alone on an island. This is work to do with a professional therapist, coach, mentor, find someone. I am here for you. Reach out. Go to rebeccasilence.com let's get to work. And how it's been does not have to be how it is. Self love can be how it is no matter where you find yourself or where you've been. And that's how you become a difference maker. The world needs you healed so you can make your difference. You become a difference maker when you choose to love yourself and honor yourself and give the best of you to you so you can really go and be that for the world. And I just want to end with some ideas for some self love affirmations. I think affirmations are really helpful. I don't think they change the game. I think they help bring awareness and consciousness to remind you of your intention. So this is Just kind of the frosting and what I like to do is I like to take dry erase markers and write on mirrors my affirmations and intentions. Just so I'm walking around the house and I and I see it so self love affirmations. I am worthy of love. I am deserving of love. I am honoring myself. I am respecting myself. I am choosing self love. I am come up with some for yourself. I am write it on some mirrors so that you can get reminded. Brendan Burchard likes to talk about setting alarms in your phone to remind you and you are worthy and you are deserving and you're not going to get what you're worth or deserving of from outside of you. You've got to learn how to give it to yourself and that's how you experience it outside of you. But once you've given it to yourself, you know you don't really need it from outside of you anymore. And then it happens and receive it. But give it to yourself. You've got a magical kitchen. You don't need anyone else's pizza ever again. And I'm so proud of you and I'm celebrating you today and women. I love being a woman and I wish and hope for you that you have that same experience for yourself. I want you to love being a woman and I want you to love being the woman you are as you are as you reinvent and progress. There's nothing more amazing than a fully expressed woman. And thank you to all of the people that love and honor women and women. Just don't ever underestimate how important your leadership is and how important your ripple is. It's so important. Healing is possible for me, for you, for us. Thank you for being here on the Healing is Possible experience with me, your host, Rebecca Silence and I will see you very soon. If you want to work with me on this show and do some breakthrough coaching, reach out, it is free. We have got lots of slots. Every Tuesday, 10am Live, Mountain Standard time. We're here. Healing is Possible Experience. The world needs you healed so you can make your difference.