Transform Your Pain into Power: Insights from The Book “Coming Back to Life”

So this book, you know, was a dream. For a long time I saw myself as a published author, but I didn't know how that would come to fruition. And then I just kept getting guidance that I needed to share my story in an effort to connect people to theirs in an empowering way. I think especially in the United States, the trauma conversation is incredibly disempowering. And what I mean by that is we live in spite of our past and we live in spite of our pain. We live in spite of our trauma and our heartbreak. And our society defends that. That is the way it has to be.

Mixed 2.5 the best mix from the 90s to now. Big Papa in the afternoon. It's a Mental Wellness Wednesday. Life coach, Relationship coach Rebecca Silence with us once again. Rebecca, how are you?

Hello and happy. Mental Wellness Wednesday. I am so good and so grateful to be here with all of you.

So I have to say congratulations for, for two things. Number one, your book Coming Back to Life is, is one year old.

It is. Yes.

And. And there I heard that there was a party. I heard that there was a smash cake involved. It got very messy. But also with that, on a separate thing, your book Coming Back to Life, which is available now wherever you get Your Books, Top 10 Self Help Book in the country. Congratulations on it. That's amazing.

Yeah, I'm still blown away. And specifically it was named one of the top 10 self love and self worth books which I, I never would have described it as a self love book or a self worth book. And it so is. And my heart is just so full and I'm still completely blown away. I wasn't even aware this book was in the running for that award. So yes, Coming Back to Life, a roadmap to heal from pain, to create the life you want is one is available and, and is being recognized. And it's such an honor. This book has felt bigger than me from its conception. It took four years to write and it came through me and is available in my goal and my dream is that my story connects you to yours and that you get what you need to to know there's nothing you've survived that means you get less of a life. Now everything you've survived can become rocket fuel. And I don't mean that in a toxic positivity way. It is possible to use your life and your pain and your story to your advantage. And that's why I wrote this book. And it's ready for you whenever you're ready for it. You can actually listen on audible as well. If you are someone that likes an audio read versus the book in your hands, the narrator did an extraordinary job bringing this book to life for you as well. So that option is on the table too.

So for, you know, for people that have listened and watched over the years coming back to life, it really is. It's your story.

Yeah.

So talk about that a little bit. For people who have, who haven't, you know, who listen and look at, you know, know me, know you from what they see and what they hear, um, the book really takes a deep dive not only into, you know, where you are now, but how you got there and all of the ups and downs and how you got through all this stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

So yes, Rebecca, I'm making you talk about you.

No, I appreciate it. So this book, you know, was a dream. For a long time I saw myself as a published author, but I didn't know how that would come to fruition. And then I just kept getting guidance that I needed to share my story in an effort to connect people to theirs in an empowering way. I think, especially in the United States, the trauma conversation is incredibly disempowering. And what I mean by that is we live in spite of our past, we live in spite of our pain, we live in spite of our trauma and our heartbreak. And our society defends that. That is the way it has to be. Right? That we can't heal fully from the wounds of our past or escape from the wounds of our past. And my story is one that defies that I literally know and have lived in such a way where my. Who, my wounds are healed fully. They're not in my day to day life, shaping my day to day experience anymore. And my story is a dark one. For a long time, I not only lived in spite of my past, but there were so many secrets that me to the point where I was afraid if these things get found out, what's that going to mean and can I even survive it? I remember unrepressing sexual abuse when I first started personal development and personal growth work. And what I mean by unrepressing is I had these flashes, but I thought they were dreams. So it wasn't that I wasn't aware, it's just my denial game was really strong. And I remember the moments where I started to realize this isn't a dream, this was real and starting to face it. And then, you know, for so long, being someone who was abusing alcohol and numbing out and having eating disorders and coping in ways I wasn't proud of. And then there were all these things that happened that I didn't want to get found out. You know, I remember getting out of a domestic violence marriage with a two year old, sharing with my book club. This was the first time I had said out loud, I'm in trouble to anyone. I thought I was this great actress. I thought on paper the marriage I had looked great and that everything on the surface looked great. I had a decent job as a school counselor. I had a beautiful family, I had a beautiful life. When I shared with my book club, here's what's going on. I'm in trouble. I've got to get out of this situation. And what had happened was my first husband, he had gone after me for years in that marriage, but there was a moment where he went after my daughter and that was the end of it for me. And so I shared with my friends, I'm in trouble, here's where things are. And I will never forget how shocked I was that they weren't shocked. I wasn't as good of an actress as I thought I was. And that moment, getting out of this domestic violence marriage, knowing that was going to mean going bankrupt, knowing that was going to mean me raising this child on my own with no support from the father, which is what happened. I'd never been more terrified and I had zero self esteem. I have to emphasize that I had my wits about me enough to know I'm not keeping my child or myself in this situation. But I did not trust in my ability to lead or take care of us whatsoever at that time. And this group of women, their reaction being, yeah, we know, thank God you're getting out of this situation. How can we help? Was so shocking to me because I thought I had everybody fooled. So, you know, the point is, my story has given me everything I need to help all of you in a way where there's not a case that I haven't cracked and in a way where there's not a case that scares me. I can be in the dark with you. I can sit in the fire with you and I can guide you out your way. That's the other big, big reason I share my story as vulnerably as I do in my book. I want you to understand there's not a right or a wrong way to live or love or to heal. There's what works for you. So I share my story to help you see you're not alone in your situation, number one. And number two, here's my path out of the Dark and into the light. Here's how I danced through the fire and emerged, rising like a phoenix. And if it's possible for me, it's possible for you. And so the way the book is designed is every chapter is hugged by one of my personal stories. And the reason I do it that way is because I want you to hear two different snippets of my story and how their patterns. But you wouldn't have seen it or expected these stories to go together as a pattern. I played out and broke through and healed. And our patterns repeat in ways that are so disguised that we don't even realize are a pattern. So my story is at the beginning and end of every chapter because I want you to see how patterns repeat and play out and, and until they're healed. I promise you patterns escalate and keep playing out. And then in the middle of each chapter is my healing message and guidance for you to find your way. And then at the end of every chapter are exercises to help you actually take on what you're learning, what you're hearing and what you're understanding besides just the concept into your day to day life and next level experience of yourself. And that's really the point. You get to come back to life. You, your life isn't over. You're still here. And I've survived some of the most unimaginable trauma and abuse and cancer. 5% chance to live getting diagnosed while I'm 34, vibrant, at the top of the world in my life personally and professionally and I'm pregnant while I get diagnosed. And the thing is we can't compare our trauma stories, but we can use them to our advantage. And no one's immune to trauma. No one. And no one has to live less of a life because of what they've already survived.

The book is called Coming Back to Life. It is now an award winning book and it's available, it's one year old and it's available wherever you get your books. Life coach and relationship Coach Rebecca Silence. RebeccaSilence.com gives you all of the details, all kinds of free content and ways to help you as well. Rebecca, congratulations again and we'll talk to you next week.

Well, and let me just say this too, please, Gary, while I have the opportunity, thank you for being someone who's known me from the beginning of my story. There are very few people that know who I was as well as who I've become. And you're one of those people and your love and your support and just being in my life all of these years means so much. So thank you.

I feel the same way about you.

Love you.