What Steps to Take to Drive Change in Our Lives

If someone is listening right now and they want to create a big change, no matter what that is, what's a good way to get the ball rolling to create a big change in their life?

Consider that the reason you want to make the change is because you're ready to change your life. What am I thinking? I can't do this right? And we all do that when we get close to the thing we really wanted. I call it failing on our own terms. We go, wait a minute. Can't possibly happen for me. So let me be the nail in the coffin so that I can protect myself from the fear of failure, from disappointment, from heartbreak. The list goes on and on.

Mixed with O 2.5, the best mix from the 90s to now. Big Pop in the afternoon. It is a mental wellness Wednesday. Life coach Rebecca Silence, the emotional Survival Kit is available right now. Rebecca silence.com and the new book Coming Back to Life, coming out in October. You can preorder it now, wherever you get your books. Rebecca, how are you?

Hello. I'm so glad to be here. Hi, everyone.

So we were talking about all these different things. The survival kit, the book, you also have the podcast, and there's lots of you consider those big changes, big things. If someone is listening right now and they want to create a big change, no matter what that is, what's a good way to get the ball rolling to create a big change in their life?

Oh, my gosh, I love this. And, you know, we've got essentially five months left in 2022. So if you're watching this in August of 2022, when we're airing, you've got five months left in the year. Now, you're either hearing that as not a lot of time or as a lot of time. And I want you to consider that it's a ton of time. It's enough time to make a change that can change your life. So when we're talking about if I want to make a change, where do I start? The first thing is consider that the reason you want to make the change is because you're ready to change your life. I appreciate you bringing up some of the big changes in my company over the past few years with these new products, courses, books, shows. That wasn't there pre Pandemic. As part of my company, Pandemic happened. And I used it as an opportunity to change my life and to change my impact. And I used that opportunity to have my life be more of what I wanted it to be. So you deserve to make a change that will Change your life for the better. You deserve to have a life that is what you have imagined it could be. Now, what can derail you is overwhelm, anxiety, freaking out. I just was dealing with a parent right before this show whose child made the team finally they've been trying to make, and now they want to quit the team before they even start. Because what am I thinking? I can't do this. Right? And we all do that when we get close to the thing we really wanted. I call it failing on our own terms. We go, wait a minute. Keep. Can't possibly happen for me. So let me be the nail in the coffin so that I can protect myself from the fear of failure, from disappointment, from heartbreak. The list goes on and on. Okay, so here's the deal. If you have dream, I don't care how big or small it is, you have everything you need to create it. And what I mean by that is, you have everything in you. I don't have a degree in media. I have a degree as a music therapist. I have a degree as, you know, a counselor and a therapist and a master's in counseling. I have life coaching certifications. But I didn't. I mean, I was just joking with my husband. The first radio show you and I did, when we first started it, the agreement was I also had to be the DJ on Sunday. So, right? Like, I got an ej. I had to be, like, talking about, you know, confession Tuesday, here's the solutions to your life problems. And then on Sunday, and here's Beyonce, right? And to this day, my Spotify says DJ Becca D. It's hysterical. That's great, right? So anyways, my point is, you can still start what feels right and feels good and is a change for you, even if it doesn't feel like it makes any sense. Who knew, like, 12 years ago or whenever it was when we started our first radio show and I was a DJ on the weekend that eventually there would be a pandemic and I would do a podcast, and I would need to know how to use those boards, and I would need to know how to create a recording studio in my office, in my house. Who. Who knew, right? But I had the training. I had the experience. Not at first, but I just. I don't want you to let fear stop you. That's the simple point that I don't want you to forget. I want you to remember my voice saying, don't let fear stop you. And don't try to do too many changes at once. Pick one. Pick one. Manifest it Create it, birth it, and then pick the next one. So journal for me. Here's some great homework. What is the change you want to make and that you would make if you weren't afraid? And that includes afraid you can't do it, afraid of what other people will think, afraid of how much time it'll take, how much money it'll cost. Just what is the change you want to make? The second thing is, why is it so important to you? And how is that change going to change your life? Write about it, let yourself see it, visualize it, experience it on paper. And then here's all you got to do. What's your next step? Just get yourself to the next step. Then once you've done that, what's the next step? Then, once you've done that, once the next step. So there's nothing too far out of reach, there's nothing too big. You are the one who will need to change your life, and you are the one who has the capability to make this change you want. And then, yes, we should also acknowledge not everybody will be supportive. Some relationships might change or go away because they're used to you and they want you how you are. Now. Don't let that stop you. Don't you dare lose yourself so you don't lose people that want you smaller. Pick the people. You're one of my favorite people in my life for so many reasons, Gary, but one of the biggest is you've never been like, why are you going to try to pursue that? Like, oh, here she goes again. Okay, let's see. What is it going to be? And we do that for each other. And if you have people in your life that are like, you can't do it, or why would you even try? Or so many other people are doing those things. You just lovingly say, thank you for caring about me. And this isn't actually anything I'm asking for you to give me advice about. This is something I'm letting you know I'm doing. So what I need is people who are supporting, supportive of me while I'm on this path. And thanks for listening, but this is what I'm doing. I'm not talking about, maybe I'm talking about I'm doing it. But until you're that solid, you're going to be really available for other people's opinions swaying you. And don't be.

So we're talking about change and how to create changes bouncing off of that change happens around us all the time. And the question is, with change happening, not necessarily the change that we are creating, but change happening around us. How is the best way to adapt to the change that's happening around us? Depending upon what that is.

Oh, my God. This is such a great next piece to talk about. Because even while you're pursuing being the change maker, creating the changes that you want, there are changes in plans, changes in circumstances, and then just life is happening. And if 2020 and 2021 didn't teach us anything, it's that life can change. I mean, if we were told 10 years ago that there would be this pandemic and everybody would be wearing masks and people would be afraid of vaccines and nobody would have believed it, it would have sounded like a scary movie. But it happened, right in 2020. 2020, 2022. It's still happening. So the metaphor I want you all to think about is if you've ever been in the ocean or in a lake where there have been waves, you have two choices. When you're swimming and a wave comes, you either let the wave kick your butt or you ride it. That's it. Those are the only options. And if you, like me, grew up, oceans swimming, you know, remember what that's like to have a wave take you, beat you up and spit you out, okay? Change in life will do that to you. If you're not willing to ride the wave, meaning don't, as Byron Katie talks about, argue with reality or you will lose. What I mean by that is, and I'm a cancer survivor, so I'll just use that as an example. When reality hits, you can't fight it, change it, or stop it. I don't want you accepting it in a way where you're a victim, surrendering your power. But I want you to get like, there's nothing I can do to change this. So the only thing I can focus on is who am I going to be? Are you going to be willing? My big, big, big word is willingness. When it comes to change. Be willing for the change and consider adopting a mentality that change can always make you and your life better. Even in a moment that it feels very much like that is not true. Every change I've ever gone through has made me and my life better. And what if you decided that was going to be true for you as well? And don't let the wave take you out or kick your butt. You take the power, relax into it, write it. And the other thing is, there's always a beginning and a middle and an end to every season, to every change. So don't stop yourself from living in the middle of it frozen or fighting or trying to run away. No, the middle doesn't last that long and if you let yourself get to the other side, there's so much more for you. If you don't let yourself get to the other side, you go back to the beginning and you have to learn the lesson again, repeat the pattern again. So just know in the face of change, make sure you're supported, be willing to be who you are and to focus on what you do, have control over and know and trust there's another side to this. This isn't forever. It is a moment.

It is a mental wellness. Wednesday Life Coach Rebecca Silence the new book Coming Back to Life coming out in October. You can pre order it right now and online you can get the emotional survival kit@rebeccasilence.com great stuff as always. We'll talk to you next week.

Happy changing. Bye.