Rebeccah Silence explains how to handle arguments during divorce without letting them turn destructive. When a comment stings, it points to something in you that needs healing. Pause conversations that get disrespectful, work with your core emotions, and keep the separation constructive.
I love the line, I love you too much to have this fight with you. I'm not going here. We can press pause on this conversation as many times as we need to until we can both be respectful.
If you're in the heat of it and they're throwing verbal daggers at you, take a breath and realize that they're just trying to say anything to hurt you. It's not that it's necessarily true or not. They're just trying to get under your skin to elicit an emotional response from you.
Yeah, okay. I don't honestly care what their objective is. I shut it down if it's inappropriate, toxic, or dysfunctional. I love you too much to have this fight with you. I'm not going there. We can press pause as many times as we need to and then come back respectfully. And that's the only time I'm available for this discussion is a really, really powerful and important line. But what I want you to get also is if it stings, you believe it. So you have healing to do there. If it stings, you believe it, so you still need to hear it. And relationships are for your soul's evolution. They're not there for just happiness and orgasms. They're there to show you where you're healed and where you're not. Okay, so, right, you controlling your emotions in a healthy way is you making sure you're focused on the part of you you have control over, knowing where you're healed and knowing where you're not, and processing emotion that will be stuck and make you sick if you don't in a healthy way. You've got to learn how to have a healthy relationship with the part of you that goes into fight, the part of you that goes into flight, the part of you that goes into freeze, and with all 5 healthy emotions: anger, fear, grief, joy, excitement. And I love you enough to tell you that. And that's how you make sure your divorce isn't ugly part 2. You make sure you're emotionally clear and healed.
And you just dropped a bunch of truth bombs and a lot of stuff that people can use, um, not only if you're going into divorce, but in so many different, uh, aspects of their life.
