In this short video, Rebeccah Silence explains that the way parents treat each other during a divorce teaches children how they can expect to be treated in life. She stresses the importance of staying emotionally clear, respectful, and "not being ugly" even if the ex‑spouse behaves poorly. Rebeccah urges parents to model grace, offer solutions, and maintain love and respect, arguing that children internalize these unconscious commitments. She invites viewers to DM her for coaching to achieve a healed, beautiful separation, emphasizing personal responsibility to prevent negative patterns from being passed to kids.
How you treat each other, not how you treat your kids, how you treat your spouse is how your kids learn how they can expect to be treated growing up. And it's an unconscious commitment that this is what's going to happen to me.
Anytime someone is talking to a friend of theirs, an acquaintance of theirs, and they're going through a divorce, they're going to be like, that son of a gun, they're doing this, they're doing that. But that, when people are going through it, 9 times out of 10, that's what you're hearing.
100%. You've got to make sure you're not ugly in the divorce, even if your spouse is being ugly. Your number one job is to stay clear and to stay clean and to stay the best of you. And I know you might be thinking, yeah, but they don't deserve that. I don't care, you do. And your kids are watching. They deserve to see you gracefully divorce, even if the other person isn't on board for that. And all that means is you're emotionally clear, and you are the best of you, and you're offering solutions, and you're treating this person, whether they deserve it or not, the way you would want to be treated and the way you would want your kids to be treated. How you treat your spouse is how your kids learn how they can expect to be treated growing up. And it's an unconscious commitment that this is what's going to happen to me. So if you've got to get divorced and move on, I get it, but you better make sure you're as clear as I'm just putting down the fork. The meal is over. My heart is open. I have love and respect for you, and our paths are just going different. If you are not there, you are not ready for divorce, and you should definitely DM me and set up some time with me because I want you to have the most healed, beautiful love story, but also divorce if that's what needs to happen. Let's get you clear and healed, and you staying the best of you and committing to, I'm not going to be ugly, and I'm going to heal whatever comes up for me on this divorce journey. So I don't take it with me or pass it on to my kids.
